Dear Friends and Family,
It's truly over.
I turned in all my gear. I had all of my meetings. I had a going away lunch with my department. I spent extra time with my team in the afternoon. I walked through the halls and said bye to the people I saw. I walked out the parking garage. I left.
It's truly over unless something comes out of left field that I'm not expecting.
I think I know where the anxiety stems from now. When I left old old work I got walked. I expected to get walked on Monday and I was braced for it, but then they asked me to work my two weeks so after some cognitive dissonance I figured I was there for two more weeks. Then, Tuesday, I expected to be working, and HR changed their mind, and I got walked - and I wasn't emotionally braced for it.
So, I think, subconsciously, I was braced for anything for the time I had left at old work. I wasn't sure what could come out of nowhere to upset whatever expectations I had. But, in the end, nothing came out of nowhere. I left yesterday with no incidents.
The drive home was longer than I've had recently since I left closer to normal rush hour time. I met Mr. mouse and P for dinner. We came home. I read a book to P. I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up and went to bed. And, I woke up this morning feeling better.
A lot of it still doesn't feel real. And, I'm not quite ready to jump into things. But, I'm feeling less anxious than yesterday. Today, I've got time with P and her friend and her friend's mom who is a friend of mine. Tomorrow, I've got time with P and another friend and his mom who is also a friend of mine. Sunday, I have brunch with a close friend. I think all of that will help me feel more real. And, then, next week is next week and it will be better than this week.
I guess it's true. Time does heal all wounds even the ones that feel like they've already scabbed over and are beginning to itch.
Cheers!
mouse
It's truly over.
I turned in all my gear. I had all of my meetings. I had a going away lunch with my department. I spent extra time with my team in the afternoon. I walked through the halls and said bye to the people I saw. I walked out the parking garage. I left.
It's truly over unless something comes out of left field that I'm not expecting.
I think I know where the anxiety stems from now. When I left old old work I got walked. I expected to get walked on Monday and I was braced for it, but then they asked me to work my two weeks so after some cognitive dissonance I figured I was there for two more weeks. Then, Tuesday, I expected to be working, and HR changed their mind, and I got walked - and I wasn't emotionally braced for it.
So, I think, subconsciously, I was braced for anything for the time I had left at old work. I wasn't sure what could come out of nowhere to upset whatever expectations I had. But, in the end, nothing came out of nowhere. I left yesterday with no incidents.
The drive home was longer than I've had recently since I left closer to normal rush hour time. I met Mr. mouse and P for dinner. We came home. I read a book to P. I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up and went to bed. And, I woke up this morning feeling better.
A lot of it still doesn't feel real. And, I'm not quite ready to jump into things. But, I'm feeling less anxious than yesterday. Today, I've got time with P and her friend and her friend's mom who is a friend of mine. Tomorrow, I've got time with P and another friend and his mom who is also a friend of mine. Sunday, I have brunch with a close friend. I think all of that will help me feel more real. And, then, next week is next week and it will be better than this week.
I guess it's true. Time does heal all wounds even the ones that feel like they've already scabbed over and are beginning to itch.
Cheers!
mouse
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment