04.30.12: A Most Painful Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

A most painful weekend.

Saturday, we went through the painful exercise of determining favor bags. Yes, you read that correctly. Anything that involves Mr. mouse and me and making a decision for an event is painful. If anyone needs an event planner and a multiple choice sheet, it's us. This is how we ended up baking invitations after looking at a million and one fonts. Okay, I exaggerate. We only looked at 10,001 fonts.

After spending a painful amount of time looking for flag sticker books and cheap Crayola markers, Mr. mouse caved and we placed a purchase and finished our favor bags.

Then, we moved on to decorations, or really plates, cups, and napkins. And, Mr. mouse wanted to go to the store since we saw the flag stuff online. I told him it might not be in store, but he wanted to go so we went. And, surprise, surprise, it was an online only item. Since P was awake and really it's a miracle these decisions ever get made, we postponed the decorations decision.

Which brings us to the fiasco that was Sunday.

Last weekend, Mr. mouse wanted time with P and I wanted to sleep after eating bad fish. So, we skipped our usual F1 race routine. And, of course, it's the weekend that one of my favorite drivers does really well. So, I wanted to see if we could see it this weekend. Normally, this isn't a problem. But, the bar we watch it at underwent an ownership change. And, Mr. mouse wanted to go for lunch since it'd be more convenient under the thought process that that way P would eat more. Sometimes it's just not worth arguing with him. Well, sometime around noon Mr. mouse told me to call, and of course, we get a noncommittal, we don't know, call back in two hours when the owner's back. So, that effectively kills the lunch option.

Then, we head out to the park to play and because Mr. mouse wants to... to take pictures. Now, spring photos is on my to do list. But, P's sick. Her nose is running. And, it's freezing out. As in we're still wearing coats on top of sweaters cold. In my mind, I pictured pictures of us without our coats on with flowers in the background, but, no, we're not being logical this weekend.

We had fun at the park. And, Mr. mouse got some decent pictures.

And, then we came home and after playing a little bit and roasting a chicken, (yes, you read that correctly, roasting a chicken) Mr. mouse had me call the bar and yes they still have the race and yes we can come watch it over dinner. So, we finished up whatever needed to be finished up. And, we headed out to the bar. And, when we got there, it was a fiasco squared. They didn't know how to turn on the back room TVs and they didn't know how to split the front room TVs and we decided to leave and eat dinner elsewhere.

And, now, it's Monday, and we're not done party planning and I didn't get to watch the race, but we do have a roast chicken in the fridge.


Cheers!
mouse

What's on Deck?

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday!

Fortunately, after our über-productive last weekend, we don't have a pile up of tasks this weekend. But, I'd like to continue down the path of getting things crossed off the list.

What's on deck for the weekend?

Saturday morning, we'll do the usual. Mr. mouse will stay at home while the house is cleaned. I'll take P out to the park, library, and breakfast. We'll stop by the gym on the way home to cancel our #$%@! gym membership. I wouldn't be annoyed except the gym membership director is on maternity leave and the person covering for her is insisting on either a signed fax or a visit to the gym - contrary to the original communication which was that an email would suffice. I went to the gym to empty out my locker so this is necessitating a second trip, but don't get me started on that one.

Saturday afternoon, I'll get a much needed manicure. Mr. mouse will need to drop off dry cleaning. And, there's a couple of photos we need to transfer to thumb drives for friends.

Then, Sunday is a free day. We may try to watch the F1 race on make-up TV. Or, depending upon the weather and our mood we may do something else.

I'll skip on working on the idea this weekend. I think the next step is going down to City Hall to get licensed. I've got a vacation day on May 10th which is only a week and a half away so I think I'll use that to get that checked off. Plus, I got a bunch of things done last weekend, so I'm not feeling too guilty on this front.

All that means this weekend will be the big push for preparing for P's birthday party which is in a couple of weeks.

1. order cake
2. order decorations
3. complete the favor bag
4. order P's birthday gifts

For the cake, P wants a chocolate cake.

For decorations, we need to order some mix of plates, cups, napkins, spoons, forks, knives in some combination of flags, Paul Frank Julius and solid colors. Yes, this is what happens when you allow someone like Mr. mouse to determine the party theme.

For favor bag, Mr. mouse and I are in disagreement on the contents. I can either order the pieces I want included and make Mr. mouse deal with it or I can leave the whole project in his capable hands. But, trying to get consensus before ordering is turning into a nightmare. Decision made. I'll just order the pieces and he'll have to incorporate into whatever the final thing turns out to be.

For the gifts. We need to order a bicycle for P. My mom gave us money for a bicycle. P wants a bicycle. Mr. mouse wants to give P a bicycle. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that P will be getting a bicycle. P also wants an umbrella so I need to find one I like. Then, there's some combination of books, toys, and/or playmobil pieces to round out the birthday gifts.

If we get through all of the birthday stuff this weekend, I'll consider it a major victory.

Cheers!

mouse

Writer's Block

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm drawing a blank.

It's Thursday.

Life is good.

I need to figure out a way to get down to City Hall and look into business licenses.

I wrote a long email to random sellers on eBay looking for spare parts for one of P's toys.

The house isn't falling apart.

I've got a to do list, but nothing like last weekend's.

Life is good.

Cheers!

mouse

Habits of Convenience

Dear Friends and Family,

I think there's a reason why parents habits can change so much during the first year of new parenthood. It's inherent in the process.

There's a bunch of things we need to buy that we didn't need to buy before. Some are consumable like diapers. Some are one-time purchases like car seats.

There's a bunch of places we start to go - like the doctor's office and the park.

There's a bunch of things we need to learn - like feeding a baby, diapering a baby, and bathing a baby.

There's a bunch of things we have to change - like fitting in childcare either at home or at work.

And, there's the fact that right after you figure it out, baby resets all of the above... there's figuring out solids, there's figuring out baby gates, the list never ends.

And, after the first year, there's figuring out getting rid of the pacifier and bottle and adding the cup. And, transitioning from two naps to one. And, and, and...

And, in the midst of all this, the parents are rewriting their own habit loops willy-nilly without thought and/or purpose, going with what's top of mind or convenient. That's why things seem so impossible, because we adopt all of these habits without thinking about them and then don't have time to work through them once they're there - especially parents who then hit reset and have a second child.

Pity the poor parents.

Now that P is almost three, it's time to think through all of the habits from the past three years and figure out how to re-adjust and optimize.

Cheers!

mouse

More Habit Loops

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday was the last of my "found food" days. I had Chipotle for lunch because is was free. And, today I had a miserable weigh in. In building my habit loops (aka mouse's house of cards) I've so far accomplished a fair bit considering I only started on this journey in March.

1. nails are growing
2. laundry is getting done
3. kitchen is getting organized
4. retainer is being worn

And, now, food is getting ignored. Yep. The other morning I was waiting for P to wake up in the parking lot and took the time to scribble down some of my food routines, cues, habits and rewards. It wasn't as difficult as the nails list.

First of all, I know what my old routine on Weight Watchers was. My current routines aren't hard to isolate. I know the routine. Food gets picked up and put in mouth. The rewards are sadly not very rewarding. So, it was really isolating the cues that I needed to do.

Some cues were easy - time of day and hunger. Some were replacement cues for nail biting - bored, stuck, stressed. Some were social - food with people. For now, I'm tackling everything minus time of day. I can eat breakfast. I can eat lunch. I can eat dinner. I can eat my fruit and vegetables. Everything is will be ignored.

No more found food.

We'll see how many cards I can add to this house of cards before it all comes tumbling down.


Cheers!
mouse

04.23.12: To Dos Done

Dear Friends and Family,

Feeling overwhelmed, I made a giant to do list on Saturday morning with five columns: this weekend (things that couldn't wait like our haircut and play date), the idea (organized by priority), P's birthday prep (which we didn't make much progress on), school stuff (which we needed to do this weekend for Teacher Appreciation Week) and other (which got all of our longer term miscellaneous tasks). Having the tasks sorted really helped lay it out so that I didn't feel overwhelmed. And, we got a bunch of it crossed off of the list.

The whole school column is complete. The this weekend column has two items on it for the upcoming weekend - catching up on F1 (hopefully the bar still has it on TiVO) and getting a manicure. I'm sure other things will come up that need to be added to the list. But, as of now, it's mercifully short. Oh, housecleaning. Housecleaning needs to be added.

So, I'm entering the new week feeling a lot more composed than I exited the last week. Focused on my idea. Enjoying work. Thinking about my habit loops. And, managing my to dos.


Cheers!
mouse

Why We Helicopter

Dear P,

I know you already have thoughts on who your Mommy is and who your Daddy is. We have personalities. We have preferences. We interact with you differently.

I want to take a moment to give you a window into a bit of who I am which may help you understand a little better why I do the things I do.

I grew up in New York City in the 70s. New York City in the 70s was a different place from New York City today. Crime was rampant. And, your grandparents were recent immigrants trying to make the best life for the family.

Recently, there's been articles about a renewed search for a child who went missing in the City. Etan Patz. He went missing when I was a child. His case and others like his must have frightened all parents in the City. The summer you were born was the summer they found Jaycee Dugard. Children go missing.

I live in fear that something like this could happen to you. That is why I insist you hold my hand. That is why we will pick you up and drop you off and not let you take the bus alone when you might think you're old enough.

I don't want to scare you by telling you there are bad people out there. But, that is why you already know your address and your phone number and why I tell you there is a difference between grown-ups you know and grown-ups you don't know and why we practice shouting for help when we read Duck Soup. Tiny tools, but what I can arm you with when you're not quite three.

There's more I want to write, but it's 6AM and your Daddy is packing your breakfast and I need to start getting ready.


Love,
Mommy

Back to Square 101

Dear Friends and Family,

I spoke with the headhunter yesterday about the potential job. And, he told me the hiring manager wanted to focus the current search on former consultants. Well, oddly enough, I wasn't that disappointed.

I don't have to worry about moving and/or splitting up the family - neither of which was very appealing to me.

Mr. mouse can remain the primary proverbial bread winner - which is nice because...

I can restart work on my idea. Yes!

At this point, even if the headhunter calls back, I think I'll be inclined to continue down my current path.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Third good day at school. I'm feeling better now.

Better Day at School, Hooray!

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday was the first drop-off that I would put in the smooth drop-off compartment since we began P's transition a little over two weeks ago.

She willingly went into the classroom with no prompting or hesitancy. We read a book. She gave me hugs and kisses. We waved to each other from the hallway window.

I went and checked her in on the computer. Then, I snuck around the corner to peek into the classroom. P was rolling out play dough and her body language was relaxed and composed.

I'm cautiously optimistic that the worst is behind us. We'll see.


Cheers!
mouse

Better Day at School, We Think

Dear Friends and Family,

P had a moment on Friday when she didn't want to go into her new classroom. She said she didn't like school and she wanted a new school. That's so unlike her I decided to speak to the center director.

We spent some time troubleshooting and then the teachers tried some new things at group time on Friday and Monday and P seems to be doing better. We'll see how drop-off goes today.

Our current hypotheses is that some of the older girls with younger siblings are smothering P. She's so much smaller than the kids in her room. And, there's a piece of P that just makes her look like an over-sized American Girl doll if you're not careful.

So, they were hugging her and petting her and rocking her and sitting her on their laps and reading to her and helping her point and unlike pushing or biting or kicking or hitting, it wasn't anything P had good words for.

Keep in mind, girlfriend is figuring out reading and counting to 100. She doesn't have much interest in sitting on someone's lap and having a counting book (1-10) read to her. So, we taught her the words for how to deal with it.

First incident: I'm a big girl. I am not a baby.
Second incident: Stop. I don't like that.
Third incident: (to the teacher): I need help.

In a perfect world, she'll be excited about school again and drop-off will not be a high-stakes pressure-filled event.


Cheers!
mouse

04.16.12: Out of Habit

Dear Friends and Family,

Just when you think you have a habit, the world spins a little bit on you and you need to adjust.

We spent a good piece of Sunday clothes shopping. And, there's nothing more tiring than family clothes shopping. Yes, three of us in a store. P wanting to play. Me wanting out of there are quickly as humanly possible. Mr. mouse browsing. And, yes, this was shopping for me so I can't really complain.

Saturday, we went to the Children's Museum and P had a ball. Definitely worth the $25 we sprang for parking.

And, now, it's Monday. My nails are groomed, although now that they are unpolished, I know the next two weeks will be the true test of progress. My teeth are a little sore from the retainer, but my jaw feels better because I didn't clench my teeth last night. And, I'm off to another week.


Cheers!
mouse

Independence

Dear Friends and Family,

April marches on regardless of other priorities. So, I need to stay on top of keeping our money invested.

This morning I put in an order for more stocks. And, as long as I'm working, I'll keep saving for retirement.

I like knowing I am making progress towards our future.

I know there are people who live in the moment. I know there are people who figure it'll all work out. I know there are people who figure their children will support them. I know there are people who feel they can't afford to save right now. I know there are people who are banking on their parents. I know there are people who assume their spouse will take care of them. I know there are people who assume the government will take care of them.

Unfortunately, I am not one of all those people. I need to feel like I am taking care of me. Sadly, I don't feel like I can rely on anyone else more than I can rely on me. And, I'm okay with that. It's liberating to be independent. It's comforting to have Mr. mouse with me on this journey. But, it's still nice to know I'm with him because I want to be not because I need to be.


Cheers!
mouse

Does Anyone Wear a Suit Anymore?

Dear Friends and Family,

I know there's the old line about weddings and funerals. But, honestly, I don't even think I see many suits at those either.

Weddings? I definitely have the option of a dress vs. a suit.

And, funerals? Well, I don't think most people are really looking at what you're wearing. Well, at least most people I know.

Which leaves, outside of those people who wear a suit for work or fun, the one last bastion of suit wearing - the interview.

It feels so 1999 to go shopping for a basic interview suit. I'll do it. But, I can't help feeling at some point we're going to think that's so last millennium.


Cheers!
mouse

BRRR...

Dear Friends and Family,

It is so cold I can barely think straight. I thought I would get used to it, but one hour in, I'm still cold. That's it. I'm turning on the heat so I don't have a miserable morning.

I know being cold is a cue for nail biting. And, I'm remembering, as my thumb nail finally grows in, so is my thumb nail in general. Huh? My nail fell off a long time ago and it never grew in right. Because it is so thick, it feels funny when it's grown in and I am writing. I think I need to practice writing more with it now that my nail has grown in. Overall progress? My left ring finger and my right thumb are still on the short side, but, overall, to the casual observer, I have ten legitimate finger nails. Yay, mouse!

I do need to get a manicure this weekend since the polish is beginning to chip and the cuticles are growing in.

And, the rest of April? It's quickly devolving. I'm not working on the idea. I'm spending a lot of time thinking about the call from the headhunter. I have a follow-up call with him this morning to learn more. I don't think I'll get the job, but for now, it's interesting enough that I still want to pursue it.

Oh, and this weekend is dedicated to the IRS. We need to file our personal taxes and I need to find out what I need to do for my business taxes. I can't owe taxes yet, can I? I haven't earned any income yet. Odder things have happened.

Must warm up...


Cheers!
mouse

Crickets

Dear Friends and Family,

Our new boss showed up yesterday. And, he scheduled a meeting with the leadership team. And, it was crickets everywhere. A few questions. A few comments. A lot of uncomfortable silence.

It's only going to be worse today when he meets the broader team.

I didn't realize it had gotten so bad.


Cheers!
mouse

04.09.12: Happy Easter

Dear Friends and Family,

When it rains it pours.

P had a great day on Friday. Yay!

We had friends visit for Easter. They brought P an amazing airport set. Double Yay!

I had a very good meeting followed by a very good lunch with my boss on Friday. This was the first time I felt happy at work in a very long time. Triple Yay!

I got a phone call from a head hunter Friday afternoon. Generally, I've been ignoring these. Usually it's a lateral move to a city I have no interest living in. I'm happy enough doing what I'm doing, I'm very psyched about my idea, Mr. mouse likes his job, and P is happy with life as she knows it.

It'd be a promotion and in a city I wouldn't object to living in. I don't think I want to give up on the life we know. But, I think I am willing to consider a 3-5 year detour if it'd mean getting there faster. I think. I'm not sure.

It's enough to give me pause. And, I've been spending some cycles this weekend in some serious navel gazing.

Happy Monday.


Cheers!
mouse

Transition: Day 4

Dear Friends and Family,

Thursday went better than Wednesday. P was still sad walking from her two year old room to the new three year old room. But, once she was there she livened up and joined in the activities.

And, she had one last afternoon of playing with her BFFs in the two year old playground. Today, I pick her up in the new room.

There's additional reason for optimism. Yesterday afternoon I asked her if there was anything special she wanted since she had a tough week and she asked for treats to bring into the new classroom. Mr. mouse had purchased Easter eggs for her old room while on a trip and given the choice P said she wanted to give them to her old friends. But, yesterday, she said she wanted treats for her new friends as well.

Generous P.


Cheers!
mouse

Transition: Days 2 & 3

Dear Friends and Family,

Well. Day 2 went okay. P had a moment on the walk when her shoe fell off and she started crying. I know what happened. On the one hand, everyone was walking and she knew she should continue walking. On the other hand, she knew she shouldn't keep walking without her shoe. Hence, melt down.

Day 3 went less well. P was sad. I think she misses her friends. I think things go faster in the new room. I think I think she sees her teachers on the playground and misses them. I think P sometimes takes a little while to get used to new things.

I told her it is okay to be sad. I told her that sometimes it can take time to get used to new things. I told her that as her friends get older they will join her in the new room. I told her that as long as she is willing to try, we are all okay with the fact that this may take some time to get used to.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Yesterday, P said she was all done with big window (where she waves to me in the morning at school). Instead, she waved from the inside window.

PPS: At dinner, P told me she was going to have 20 children.

Transition: Day 1

Dear Friends and Family,

P's first day in preschool transition went well.

Her teacher took her across the hall and dropped her off in the new room. She spent a couple of hours there between breakfast and lunch. Today, she goes for a little longer, leaving her current room after breakfast and staying in the new room until after lunch.

All of the teachers said she had a good day. Mr. mouse called. I called. I stopped by when picking her up. Helicopters at work.

One telling sign, P didn't run into the new room when I went to see the teacher at pick up. It still reminds me of her infant transition.

She seemed complacent enough. But, one afternoon when she came back she was quiet and thoughtful. And, when her teacher approached her she picked up a lion and roared and started laughing.

P is like me. Change is always a little scary and having a place that is comfortable and familiar is a good thing.

She said the kids aren't as noisy in the new room, but are equally "rough" compared to her current room. We'll see. I think they're a lot less rough.

Happy Tuesday!


Cheers!
mouse

04.02.11: Yep, We're One Quarter Way Through the Year

Dear Friends and Family,

Yes. It's April. And, before we know it, it'll be May. Then, June and July and August and the mouse household will surface briefly in September before diving in for October, November, and December. And, then you'll hear me bemoaning the fact that the year has gone way too quickly.

Saturday?

Saturday morning, P and I went to the bank. I opened up my small business account while P played with her computer and read library books. Yep. We can now accept payments and spend money.

Then, we went to breakfast at P's favorite diner and Mr. mouse joined us to celebrate. A quick trip to the library finished out the morning. We went in for eyebrows and P fell asleep on the walk home.

I spent the afternoon plowing through random to dos while Mr. mouse picked up the car. Yeah! Both the door lock and trunk locks work now.

We spent the afternoon playing at home, ate dinner at home, and then because we were all in the mood, we went out for gelato.

Sunday?

Sunday morning we did errands including picking up a "potty" for P for when we travel since she detests toilets outside of the house. It's sprinkled with Sesame Street characters, but don't get me started on that one.

We had lunch and P and I fell asleep on the way home.

We played more in the afternoon and then did a quick trip to pick up groceries. P had pink eye so we made a new chart for her outlining her six doses. And, because I was curious to see if it would work - six rewards for not fighting the medication. Last night's worked like a charm. Let's see if we're as successful this morning.

And, today begins P's transition to the new room. She'll spend one hour with the three year olds and then go back to her usual routine in the two year old room. Tomorrow it's through lunch. Wednesday is through nap. Thursday is through snack. Friday, I pick up there. And, Monday, she's full time in the new room.

Time to go get ready.


Cheers!
mouse