11.30.09: Much Needed Long Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

Ah... After a crazy fall, we had a much needed long weekend off. I feel like I've had enough time with P to get caught up and not feel so deprived or compromised.

What'd we do?

Tuesday: P and I left work/school early to beat the traffic home. It still took forever and a quarter, but it would have been worse if we hadn't left early. We went out Tuesday night to pick up a rug for P's new play area.

Wednesday: P and I met Mr. mouse for lunch. Then, we napped while Mr. mouse picked up the rug at the warehouse. We celebrated the start of the long weekend by going out for dinner - Thai.

Thursday: The whole day disappeared in a flurry of cooking since we didn't do the pies Wednesday night. Then, the evening disappeared in a flurry of eating since we didn't have much to eat all day.

Friday: I headed into work in the morning for a couple of hours to check in. Then, we met up with some friends for lunch and a jaunt over to the Art Institute. We took pictures of P that we could use to create a time lapse; we were there in July with other friends.

Saturday: We finished up some very belated thank you cards and cleaned house. Then, we met up with our friends for dinner (sushi) and then ice cream.

Sunday: More time with P followed by a Target run and dinner in Chinatown.

And, that was the weekend. P started a host of new tricks, but I'll write about those later this week.


Cheers!
mouse

The Grateful List

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry about the radio silence for the last couple of days. It feels like one long weekend with the holidays mixed in.

Time to reflect on what I'm grateful for... (in no particular order)

health and happiness of friends and family, a spouse who loves me and is supportive and nurturing and has faith and confidence in me, a job that I enjoy that keeps me mentally challenged and helps me contribute to my family's well being, a sister who understands me to my core and still loves me and helps to keep me sane, patience and openness that helps me cope and learn, and all the people who love P and make every day feel special

which brings me to, the thing I'm most grateful for this year, P

that the pregnancy went to term, that the delivery went well, that she was born in good health, that she continues to thrive, that we were able to figure out breastfeeding, that we got to spend the summer together, that work is so supportive of my need to balance work and motherhood, the moments Mr. mouse and P and I share together as a family watching her and playing with her, the utter joy and happiness in her eyes and smile when she sees either of us, the trust and peace in holding her when she sleeps, and even the sad moments when she needs Mr. mouse or me to do something for her.

Each moment feels so precious. I'm glad I waited until I did to have P. But, ultimately, I'm so glad I did decide to have her.


Cheers!
mouse

Baby Proofing

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, P was off Zantac for a couple of days. And, this morning, we caved and dosed her. Guess she still needs the meds.

We went shopping last night and bought a rug for the family room. This weekend, we'll clean the floor, rearrange some furniture, and hang some gates. And, hopefully, at the end of it all, P will have an 8 x 10 space she can call her own - safe for her to do her thing. Kind of like my office at work.


Cheers!
mouse

A Healthier Thanksgiving

Dear Friends and Family,

Whereas Thanksgiving is a time of tradition, and recognizing that there's a HUGE comfort associated with certain foods during the Thanksgiving mean, nevertheless I am considering revisiting our Thanksgiving traditions in the name of making it a healthier tradition.

Phew, now that the legalese is out of the way. What does that mean? I've decided to tweak the meal a dish at a time as time and whimsy strike. This year, we're passing on the Pillsbury Crescent Rolls and instead I will be baking bread. I've made it a couple of times before using the NY Times no knead bread recipe.

Original article: The Secret of Great Bread
The Follow-On article: No Kneading, but Some Fine Tuning

I'll miss the little flaky, buttery pillows of hydrogenated fructose goodness, but good bread is nothing to sneeze at either. And, in the long run, it's a healthier habit for P to pick up from us. And, for us to pick up from us.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: In case you're wondering. Thursday, we'll be having: turkey, ham, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, candied yams, bread, green bean casserole, corn, cranberry relish, pumpkin pie, apple pie, whipped cream, ice cream

PPS: Prior changes in years past have included homemade gravy vs. jar gravy and homemade cranberry relish vs. canned cranberry jelly.

11.23.09: Weekend at Home

Dear Friends and Family,

After three weekends on the road, we finally had a weekend at home.

We slept in both days, napped both afternoons, ran some errands and gloried in the amusement a six month old provides.

We fed P (apples, avocado, salmon and pumpkin - she loves apples). We watched P crawl (backwards). We heard P say hi - jury's out on whether it was intentional or not. We watched P pick things up and shake them and swat at things.

I so needed a weekend of nothing. Now, I'm off to work for a day and a half. I wanted to take the week off, but with the funeral and multiple trips home, I'm behind. So, I'm headed in for today and for an hour meeting tomorrow.


Cheers!
mouse

Apples for Breakfast

Dear Friends and Family,

P's growing up. She's eating apples with her Daddy while I write this post.

What does our six month old peanut eat?

1. breakfast (5 AM): nursing session followed by whatever baby food we have handy (starting today)
2. mid morning snack (8:30 AM): 8 oz bottle
3. lunch (noon): 8 oz bottle
4. high tea (3:30 PM): 8 oz bottle
5. dinner (7 PM): nursing session followed by whatever baby food we have handy

So far, she's eaten peas, carrots, apples, bananas, avocados, and mashed potatoes. Tomorrow, she starts baby food at school. I'm not sure how much she'll eat. I think I'll send a 6 oz bottle for breakfast and 4 oz of baby food letting her decide how much she wants. We're not in the business of measuring her food, if we can. Maybe that's why she still hasn't doubled her birth weight.


Cheers!
mouse

Sleep Catch Up

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse met me at the bus station and drove home while I slept in the back seat with P. We got home, fed P, and then napped until 11:30. I pumped, ate dinner, and fell back asleep until this morning. P slept through the whole night. And, so did Mr. mouse.

Guess we all needed the rest after the last couple of weeks.


Cheers!
mouse

Food Decisions

Dear Friends and Family,

I gave myself a reprieve until P turned 6 months on the whole baby weight thing since 1. it seemed like there was some inexplicable link between my losing weight and my losing milk volume and 2. there were a million and one things I was tracking for awhile with P and who need to track a million and two things, really?

But, now, I'm ready. P's six months old. And, I'm mentally ready to begin the 20 pound journey that is my post partum wellness journey. Instead of jumping full court press on the Weight Watchers bandwagon, I've resolved to make three better food decisions every day. I'll weigh in tomorrow (since I forgot to this morning) and we'll go from there.


Cheers!
mouse

11.16.09: Closure

Dear Friends and Family,

We went home for the weekend for the funeral. And, for all my griping beforehand, I'm glad I went. I'll miss grandma. But, I won't. I'll see her again one day, and until then, she's with grandpa. They'd been separated for a long time so I'm glad they're together again now.

Administrivia: flew in Friday morning, wake Friday evening followed by dinner, funeral Saturday morning, followed by lunch and then time at home with my brother and sister and brother-in-law, flew out Sunday morning - it was warm for November and raining, a tropical storm was pushing rain our way - my brother had a chance to say his goodbyes alone, both at the wake and at the cemetery, my mom had her church group to support her - at the wake, one of the toughest, but one of the most touching moments was when the nurses from the nursing home showed up to say bye to grandma - I'm glad to be home again.

Pioneer had a tough time. She threw up four times on the flight out. Then, three more times at the airport. We switched her to Pedialyte and she was able to keep that down. We eased her back into milk on Saturday and she was back to her normal routine by Sunday. It was weird for her to be around all of these emotions. She's used to shiny happy people. And, she was lap child for the whole weekend, instead of being able to crawl around and spread out.

P contorted herself into a sitting position by herself while we were home - Saturday evening while my brother and sister were playing with her. She's getting better at the backwards crawling. We're beginning to see baby neck. She's a riot when she's eating. She grabs the spoon and shovels the food into her mouth sideways. She eats a little over an ounce at a time now. And, she's become more purposeful at the breast. When she was a newborn, it was a struggle. Then, she learned to lie still and open wide. Now, she wiggles and squirms towards me and grabs with her hands. It's really quite cute.

Sunday, we had our six month visit. P's still 50th percentile head. She's now 25-50th percentile height. And, not unexpectedly, 5th percentile weight. She got 5 shots including seasonal flu and H1N1. She fell backwards from a sitting position onto the floor twice last night. And, she had a tough time falling asleep. Five shots, two teeth and a bunch of moving parts is tough on anyone, much less a six month old.

Oh, and, we're going to try weaning her off of the Zantac. Wish us luck!


Cheers!
mouse

Not One, but Two

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse and I had placed a bet on which tooth would show up first - lower left or lower right. Not one to disappoint, P decided to have the two show up simultaneously, this morning.

I had checked yesterday evening and P's gums were swollen and white, but no signs of a tooth. And, then, this morning, there they were!


Cheers!
mouse

Day at Home

Dear Friends and Family,

Home today getting ready for our trip back for the funeral. P's sleeping and I've had a chance to do my morning routine and decompress.

I'm still not sure where I'm at. I feel happy for my grandmother. She's not suffering anymore. And, she's with my grandfather now. I'm sure when I get home my mom and brother will be train wrecks. He was a lot closer to my grandmother. It was like that for me when my grandfather passed away. I still miss him.

Well, not sure I have a ton of new insight for the day. I'm over the anger I felt Tuesday night and the emptiness I felt yesterday. Today, I feel strangely optimistic. It's all going to be okay in the end.


Cheers!
mouse

Resolution

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry for the spotty coverage. There have been a couple of mornings I've slept through my alarm clock and had to run to work.

My grandmother passed away last night at 9:35 pm. The wake is on Friday night. The funeral is on Saturday.

In an awkward way, I'm happy for my grandmother. She was hanging on when I last saw her, but I didn't see how she was going to recover. Now, she's at peace and there's no more suffering.

In another awkward way, I just wish I could disconnect the phone and crawl into a cave for the next two months and just be here and spend time with P. I wish I could shut out the world and just be by myself. I don't want to deal with anyone at the moment which seems impossibly selfish. I guess I just don't like change sometimes.

In a third awkward way, at some point my mom and I will have to have the conversation. She wants to come out to "help" with P. I'm not necessarily sure I need (or even want) the help. It makes me feel even worse to have this added on on top of everything else.

Guess I'm off to my awkward day.


Cheers!
mouse

11.09.09: Weekend of Misunderstandings

Dear Friends and Family,

Sometimes, when Mr. mouse gets on a mission, it's just plain easier to roll with the punches than it is to resist. Fortunately, it doesn't happen often. And, usually it's relatively harmless.

This time, he got it in his head that he wanted to go see our Winter Cabin friends. So, we scrambled to get all of our errands done on Saturday. We took the early flight out. We took the later flight back. And, in between, we spent the day with our friends which was awesome.

Now, the less than awesome. I didn't get to sleep in on Sunday. And, I didn't get to nap or turn in early so I'm starting the week tired. We didn't get all of our errands done so I'm starting the week feeling behind.

And, since we didn't get to see any of my friends from old work, it was a partial trip. What it comes down to is, I'm not sure how our weekends are going to shape up. We have friends in town next weekend that we weren't originally planning on. And, the weekend after we're visiting the folks. And, at any given moment my time can be trumped. And, I guess I just wanted quiet time because lately I feel my schedule hasn't been my own. And, so, while I thoroughly enjoyed the trip out, I resented Mr. mouse taking away what little control I've had recently.

Pioneer is moving around like a champ. Not crawling, but turning and shifting to get from point A to point B. It's not intentional, just happen chance. She's making progress on the food front - she ate almost a half ounce of peas last night. She's still talking up a storm. And, she's beginning to exhibit stranger anxiety. All of which makes me feel like she's growing up too fast. Yet, when she's asleep in my arms, like she was on the flight home, she's still a baby. I couldn't stop watching her last night - poopy diaper and all. My sweetest.


Cheers!
mouse

Baby Food

Dear Friends and Family,

The internet was down yesterday morning. Or, rather, our cable modem was.

Tuesday night, we fed P mashed potatoes. She was doing excellent until she got a funny look on her face. Two seconds later, she threw up her potatoes and two and a half ounces of milk to boot. We figured enough potatoes for one night. We gave her a topper bottle later in the evening and laughed the whole incident off.

Wednesday, we fed P more avocado. She was patient with us and got it down. I think at this point it's still all more for fun than it is for actual nutrition. This weekend, we'll try avocado one more time and then move on another food.

Our baby's growing up.


Cheers!
mouse

11.04.09: Processing

Dear Friends and Family,

It's cold now. And, it's dark at night.

P's crawling backwards. And, we can feel a tooth coming in even if we can't see it. She's laughing a lot again after a period when her smiles were harder to win. And, she's talking a ton after a period when she was listening more than squealing. P's a consistent sleeper on the morning rides in, and an inconsistent sleeper on the rides home.

She's SO curious about our food, it makes me laugh. But, when we tried mashed potatoes last night, she vomited it all up. We laughed. She laughed. We try again tonight.

And, I'm still trying to come to terms about grandma. She has good days. She has bad days. They're not feeding her so I feel like that's numbering her days. She has trouble swallowing her food so the decision on how to proceed isn't obvious.

I'm still processing.

And, my mom talks about coming out/moving out to help with P. I'm not sure I want the help, truth be told. I'm kinda enjoying it the way it is now.

I'm still processing.

And, that, my friends, is my life right now. Lots of thinking. Not a lot of insights.


Cheers!
mouse