Monday, May 16, 2016

Why I Watch My Kid

Dear Journal,

We were at Mr. mouse's reunion this weekend and I noticed something I wanted to write about. They had a kids' tent set up with face painting and balloon animals and caricature drawing and chicken tenders and a kids' entertainer. He told jokes. He juggled. He clowned around. He kept the kids occupied and entertained.

Some kids gave the entertainer his space and watched and laughed and raised their hands when he asked for volunteers. Other kids rummaged through his bag even after he repeatedly asked them not to. The same kids crowded him even after he repeatedly asked them not to. The same kids interrupted him even trying to catch things he was in the middle of juggling even after he repeatedly asked them not to.

Wow, how can parents so completely abdicate their responsibility as caregivers? It's our job to make sure our children are behaving themselves. I know with near absolute certainty that I could have left P unattended and she would have continued to behave. In fact, she got mad when I pulled her over to remind her that I expect her to behave even when other kids are clearly misbehaving. She gets mad at me because it insults her when I remind her - like I think she's capable of being that rude.

But, then, in an odd way, it makes sense. I can leave her unattended because I rarely do leave her unattended. She's learned what's acceptable because I step in when she crosses the line. By the same logic, the kids that can't be left unattended are the ones that have always been left unattended. They've never learned what's acceptable because their parents haven't stepped in when they've crossed the line.

Parents rarely tend to leave little kids alone because it's not safe. But a combination of factors kick in as the kids grow older. One, they can take better care of themselves so you worry less about their safety. And, two, convenience and laziness kick in. At some point, you want to be able to have adult conversations and it's just easier to let "kids be kids" than it is to keep that close of an eye on them.

But you can't. Not until your kid is truly ready. And, it's your job as a parent to persevere until your child is ready. That means if at 15 they still can't resist trying to grab the juggler's bowling pin, you need to be there at 15, ready to whack them upside the proverbial head when they try to grab the bowling pin.


Cheers!
mouse

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