09.30.13: Last of the Action Packed Weekends, Hopefully

Dear Friends and Family,

After multiple death marches, I hope we're done with the action packed weekends. I hope we have time to spend at home without a to do list that fills a page.

This Saturday, we started with a haircut and a picnic while the house was being cleaned. Then, we went to the amusement park and dinner and the mall. Sunday, we went to church and a baseball game. We finally had time Sunday night to let P play at home and do some work with Mr. mouse. Her handwriting's gone to pot since she left old school. We haven't had time to practice. Time to make time for that, I guess.

This week is another bad week. But, once we get through Saturday, we have a full day of nothingness on Sunday. That's nice.

I also spoke with Mr. mouse on Saturday night. We agreed that my days need to be less hectic. So, I'm relegating house work to when P naps. During the day, I will focus on my old work, my new work, and me. At least that's the idea. So, we're going to give that a try this week.

And, nothing scheduled for next Sunday, right?


Cheers!
mouse

Glorious Friday

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday! I made it through the week with the atypical Wednesday and the out of routine Thursday. Now, I just need to make it through Friday and it'll be the weekend.

Yes, there's a lot of niggling to dos I need to cross off my list. But, right now, it seems doable. I will make it into the weekend in one piece. And, if I get through next week, I will be through the "big" weeks. I made a promise to myself that I would start work on my new idea October 7th.

I'm excited! Happy Friday!


Cheers!
mouse

When Mr. mouse Gets in on the Act

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, a boat load of randomness found its way on to my to do list. I had a doctor's appointment which added follow-up on test results, schedule follow-up appointment, and get vitamin D pills for the winter to my list. Then, P told me she no longer wants to be an astronaut for Halloween. Now, she wants to be a paramedic which added paramedic costume to my list. I noticed I have a conflict with my November haircut and P's November class which added reschedule haircut to my list. And, last but not least, buy gift for my nephew who is visiting next week and schedule fall event got remembered which added them to my list.

Mostly, I'm pissed because I spent between 8 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon on bullshit tasks when I could have used the time on stuff I enjoy more. First, I went to a school event. The event itself was fine, but there was time before the event for socializing that I could have skipped without losing any sleep. Then, after the event I had just enough time to do nothing before going to my doctor's appointment. Lovely. But what really makes my blood boil is the hour I had to wait because my doctor is perpetually running behind. They really need to manage schedules better. Really.

So, I'm peeved about a waste of a day, in general, and the addition of more stuff to do is just rubbing salt in an already angry wound. My allergies are back. And, today I have ANOTHER school event. I cannot wait for October to come around and for all of this to hit a groove.

On a bright note, I did force myself to spend an hour on email last night so I'm not completely behind. And, I spent 30 minutes cleaning which felt good. And, Mr. mouse got in on the act and cleaned some more which is awesome.


Cheers!
mouse

It's Going to Be a Busy, Busy Day

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm re-reading the Hunger Games because I want to be ready for the next movie. And, the line from Effie, it's going to be a busy, busy day seems appropriate for today.

We have drop-off. We have a school event. I have a doctor's appointment. I have work. I have housework. I have to call about reunion hotel rooms. I have pick up. We have to get ready for tomorrow.

Phew! It's going to be a busy, busy day.


Cheers!
mouse

30 Minutes Here, 30 Minutes There

Dear Friends and Family,

I had some time yesterday afternoon when P was napping. So, I set up the tripod and snapped a picture of our entry way. It was a typical mouse pad disaster of stuff everywhere. And, I set the timer for ten minutes. And, I got to work. When the timer went off, I took a picture, reset the timer, and went back to work.

Thirty minutes later, the entry way was a mouse work of art. Lots of clean space for guests to put coats and bags, no shoes on the ground, and most importantly, no newspapers.

I think I'll try doing thirty more minutes today while P naps. There's no telling where this will lead.


Cheers!
mouse

09.24.13: Lovely Fall

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a most hectic weekend. But, it was nice to enjoy it with P and Mr. mouse and our friends.

Saturday, we had a quick trip to the salon, followed by a quick trip to the library, followed by a play date, followed by brunch, followed by an Apple Festival, followed by mail, followed by returns and exchanges at the mall, followed by shoe shopping at the mall, followed by shoe shopping at the outlet mall, followed by dinner. Are you exhausted yet?

The play date was fun. It was with another family from new school. They seemed completely normal. The kids had fun at the bounce house and the story time. The adults had a chance to chat. All in all, it was a successful first play date by my relatively non-picky standards.

The shopping was good. We got some much needed shoes for P. I just wish we didn't have to go to so many stores to get them all.

Sunday, we had church, followed by brunch, followed by zoo, followed by groceries, followed by play time, followed by dinner, followed by bath, followed by sleep. It wasn't as action packed as Saturday, but after Saturday it does feel like it was a non-stop weekend. P was tired at the zoo. It's a good thing we brought the wagon. I think we've got about one or two more years and then she'll be tired of zoo. Perhaps now is a better time for San Diego. We went when she was two and she was frightened witless of the animals.

It's a hectic week this week. Let's see if we can get through it without growing the to do list more. It's not two columns long. Happy Monday!


Cheers!
mouse

Just Not Happy

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday was a normal day. I worked. I did laundry. I loaded the dishwasher. I stared at my to do list. I went to pick up P. How is it possible that with 55% more free time, wait, it should be more when you knock out the commute, I feel like I have even less free time?

Well, today, I'm off to work. P has dance afterwards. Tomorrow, I take the car in for a 30,000 mile check and oil change. Hopefully at some point this begins to feel rewarding. Right now, there are moments where I feel like I've traded my old work and old money for more sleep for Mr. mouse. I'm not saying it's not fair, but I'm not saying it's fair either. I'm just saying.

I may just be in a funk. Yesterday, I felt angry at the world. Last night, it poured rain in response. Perhaps I'll feel better today.


Cheers!
mouse

Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Wednesday. I'm finding a routine. It's not the routine I imagined. But, it's a routine.

I may need to revisit it see if it's meeting my needs. Speaking of which, what are my needs? After all, how do I know if it's meeting my needs if I don't even know what my needs are?!?!

So far, I've been focused on four things...

There's being a good mom which is now reduced to a couple of tasks I try to accomplish each day. I drop P off on time at school. I pick P up on time at school. I feed P a snack. I let P play for 5-10 minutes. I make P go potty. I put a pull-up on P. I read P a book. I let P nap until Mr. mouse gets home. So much for lots of Mommy-kid time. I suppose things will change once she starts skipping her nap.

There's being a good worker. This has been going fine. I need a better way to mesh my work calendar and my home calendar. I feel like, right now, things could overlap if I'm not careful. I suppose one way of doing it is to add any of my home commitments to my work calendar if they happen to occur before 2 o'clock. That will probably take care of surprises.

There's taking care of laundry and dishes. These were supposed to be my "small wins" to get my day started. And, they do get my day started. Still, my day goes so quickly. I had visions of a clean and orderly house. But, so far, the house is as much of a disaster as it was when I left work. I spent some time yesterday while P was napping organizing the house.

There's trying to tackle the to do list. This has been an epic battle and one that I am losing. But, perhaps this isn't a bad thing. I got through all of the super time-sensitive tasks I need to get through to get P through the first weeks of school. Now, it's flooded with nits and gnats associated with trying to ensure P has clothes and with making sure our weekends are planned out and other stuff. It may be time to take a break from the to do list and focus on something that will be more fulfilling.

Okay, assuming I've got the good mom thing and the good worker thing down, I suppose I've got a couple of options. I can work on my idea. I can work on the house. I can continue on the dratted to do list. I can work on me. All good options.

I think I'll work on me.

That's something to contemplate. Work on me. I'll need to give that some thought. I'd love to be back at my goal weight. Perhaps it's time to establish some habit routines around that.


Cheers!
mouse

And the To Do List Keeps Growing

Dear Friends and Family,

Sooner or later the to do list has to level out. I've already added 10 new things for this week. And, I've crossed off 2. This isn't an equation that is sustainable long term. I'm hoping this is a short term phenomena. That there's just a bunch of stuff I had been putting off and this is the results of opening the floodgates. I hope it is. Because, if it isn't, then I'm never going to be able to work through it all.

Let's see how this week goes and next week goes and see if this becomes more manageable.


Cheers!
mouse

09.16.13: Free Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

I walked into the weekend free and clear of chores and it felt great. The laundry was done. The dry cleaning was picked up. The birthday present was picked up. The library books were picked up. All the little things were done. We still needed groceries and a Target run, but it felt good to have all of the other stuff done.

We went out on Saturday to go apple picking. We picked a small farm this year. On the positives, we got to pick honey crisp apples, it wasn't crowded, and we didn't walk away with a car full of apple accessories (e.g. apple donuts, apple cider, apple bread, apple pie). On the negatives, we got eaten alive by some small bug, we had to dodge the bees, and there were no tractor rides. Still, we have a fridge full of apples and that's always a good thing.

On Sunday, we went to a birthday party. P had fun once she got used to the mob of kids and the noise. Then, we tried to go to a baseball game. It was delayed. We tailgated. It was delayed some more. We left. They ultimately played. We submitted our tickets for tickets next April. The seats won't be as good, but I guess that's better than no compensation. Mr. mouse will probably look for a game later on this season to give P a chance to go to batting practice and run the bases.

P and I had good naps on Sunday. And, we built a fabulous little set with our Lego. It started with a step pyramid that morphed into a pizza oven. It went from there to a food truck that morphed into a Google car that can drive 24 hours. We added a place for people to hang out in the rain and then bar seating for the pizza restaurant. Life didn't feel complete, so we built a zoo and a restaurant with a beach. A Daddy brought his two kids and their three pet giraffes. And, then the fun began of people buying tickets to pet the giraffes. P dressed up for a party they were going to have at the zoo. But, then, Mr. mouse insisted on selling tickets to the party and it turned into math night. It was still fun.

And, now, it's Monday. This week feels like it can be even better than last week. I'm going to see if I can take on more. I may try clearing the kitchen counter. I may. I may not. We'll see where this leads.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 4: Modules Falling in Place

Dear Friends and Family,

School's beginning to feel like it can become a routine.

1. Yesterday at drop-off, P went up to her classroom with her teacher instead of going up to her classroom with Mr. mouse. No tears.
2. Yesterday at pick-up, I left work in time to drive home and take the bus to pick up P. We went to dance together. She fell and bit her lip so it wasn't a pretty ending, but she still wants to go back next week which must mean she's enjoying it.
3. Mr. mouse figured out next Tuesday's thingamajig, so we no longer need to worry about next Tuesday morning's drop-off.

We're making progress.

Work's beginning to feel like it can become a routine.

1. I've decided to work 3 hours each on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. 9-10, 11-noon, 1-2.
2. That leaves 8.5 hours for Tuesdays and Thursdays.

See, progress.

My time's beginning to take shape:

1. I have 10-11 and noon-1 free on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
2. I'm not going to spend a lot of time filling it yet. I'll use next week as a gauge on how to use that time.

Still, progress.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 3: Progress

Dear Friends and Family,

This week is definitely better than last week. Today, I don't have any giant to dos. I have to go to work. I have to come home. I have to go get P, which I think I will do via bus. I have to go to dance class. I have to come home and get P to nap. All within the scope of sane. I'd try driving straight to school, but there's road closures today that make it not seem worth driving to school.

This is how habits are formed - step by painful step until you don't think about it anymore.

Tomorrow looks sane. I have to dress P in her Friday clothes. I have a work call. I have to call P's old school. I have to load the dishwasher. I have to pick up the dry cleaning. If I have time, I'll get a manicure.

Oh, and I need to get gas today. One more thing to add to my habit loop.

I am mouse. I can do this.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: No tears at drop-off yesterday morning. Worst mom in the world, that's me, didn't have a camera on hand. I thought I did. I didn't. Nothing I do now will change that.

PPS: Tuesday morning is still an issue.

Day 2: Assessing

Dear Friends and Family,

Well. This week is better than last week. But, still not feeling a groove yet. I didn't have enough time at work yesterday so I took work home which I did while Mr. mouse gave P her bath. It feels like I don't have enough time in the day to manage 17.5 hours of part time work which just feels odd, truth be told. I used to manage more than double that less than a month ago. I'm hoping it's just the ramp up to school. If, by the end of September, I still don't have time for myself to do some of my own work, I think I will have to have a hard discussion with my manager about it all.

I'm also annoyed with myself. A colleague asked me to meet him for lunch and I agreed. I wish I had today to do stuff for me, not spend time helping out a friend from over a decade ago. Still, there's a piece of me that realizes maintaining a network and keeping a calendar of outside engagements does feed a part of my soul. So, I accepted. I just wish it wasn't this week.

And, Mr. mouse and I are in a state of denial about next Tuesday. He has an early morning meeting and I do too. Normally, Tuesday is his drop-off day. I feel like he doesn't understand why I can't do drop-off. I'm part-time. He's full-time. I feel like I need to re-establish myself and prove to work that part-time work isn't me punting at the drop of a pin. I also feel like I shouldn't have to "always" work my schedule to fit his. Again, like I said, we're both in a state of denial. And, obviously, next week will not be a normal week because we have a parent meeting Monday night, dinner with another friend afterwards, and this thingamajig on Tuesday morning.

What I wouldn't give for a normal week - a week with smooth drop-offs without a bunch of extraneous hiccups, so that I have some sense of comfort that what I signed up for is manageable. I guess I'm a little scared that what I signed up for isn't manageable. Fingers crossed.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Yesterday, P tried on all of her dance gear and is now the proud owner of a leotard, tights, tap shoes and ballet shoes. And, I am the proud parent would managed Tuesday pick-up after work without a hiccup. See? Progress.

Day 1: Moderately Successful Day

Dear Friends and Family,

P had a tough drop-off on Monday morning. She cried and she cried. She told Mr. mouse she didn't want to go to school. She told me she wanted to stay at home with me. Then, she went to her teacher. And, within 15 minutes she found her happy face and enjoyed the rest of her day. P and I agreed to read a book on the bench in the morning before school. We also agreed that I would pick her up at dismissal - no extended day, at least not for now. Mr. mouse and I agreed to get P to school earlier so that she has a chance to acclimate to school before having to walk in. Let's see how the rest of this week goes.

I accomplished all sorts of little things.

I called my Dad and thanked him for the birthday card. He's convinced P should become a doctor. No, let's not see what she wants to become. No, let's not see what she may be good at. No, let's not see how professions evolve over the next 20 years. No, let's just prescribe medicine now, of course. Still, it was nice to call him.

I made dinner plans with a close friend who's in town next week on business. I packaged up a sweater for Mr. mouse to drop off in the mail. I did a load of laundry and I put it away. I loaded the dishwasher. I dialed into two calls for work. I caught up on emails. I read P two stories in the afternoon. We did sheets. We did puzzles. I downloaded the remaining pictures from P's daycare school - four videos left to go.

I didn't make any progress on my idea. And, that's okay for day 1 of my first "normal" week.


Cheers!
mouse

09.09.13: First Semi-Normal Week

Dear Friends and Family,

After a week that defies categorization, we decided to take it easy over the weekend.

Saturday morning, P and I took a picnic breakfast and a picnic blanket to the park. We ate our breakfasts, we watched a puppet show, and P rode the swing. We headed home when it started raining. We had fun.

We read books and played while the house was cleaned. We ate lunch. We slept in the car on the ride to P's play date.

P had fun playing with Q, a friend from daycare school, while Q's mom and I talked schooling. We stayed until the kids were run ragged and then loaded up the car for the ride home.

Sunday morning, we went to church. P got to go to weekend school which she missed terribly when it was closed over the summer. And, then, I napped during the afternoon while P got time with Mr. mouse. We spent the afternoon with friends and even made a new friend in our neighborhood. Yay!

Sunday night we had dinner at home and weighed P again. She has lost half a pound since starting school. It's concerning. We'll have to see how this week goes.

Today, I've got a couple of work meetings on the phone. I have a call with a school for gifted and talented children. And, I'm going to call my Dad to thank him for a super nice card he sent me.

Tomorrow's my big "new" day. But, for today, I'm going to enjoy today and hopefully feel like the world is a little more solid than it was last week.


Cheers!
mouse

Off to Work

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night I realized I was bitter. After much discussion and negotiation, I had agreed to work part-time. And, I thought it was a good idea. Except, this past week it's been the worst idea ever. I feel like I haven't been a good mom. I feel like I haven't been a good worker. And, I have done diddly squat on my idea. All in all, not a great week to be mouse.

So, today I'm headed into the office. So, at least I'll be a good worker even if I'm not a good mom or a good entrepreneur. And, next week, hopefully, will be a better week on all three fronts.

Honestly, it's been non-stop trying to just stay on top of school this week. I'm hoping next week truly finds a happier medium. If not, something will have to give. This morning it was ordering 2 leotards, 2 tights, and 15 pairs of dance shoes to try on next week because apparently we were expected to know to bring P in dance clothes for her class.

I should back track a little here. When last we spoke I was planning on leaving work. So, why am I headed into work? On my very last day, we decided to switch me from full-time to part-time work. I'd work between 15 and 20 hours a week, averaging out to 17.5 a week. I'd come into the office two times a week, usually on Tuesday and Thursday for about five to six hours and I'd work from home the other days for an hour or two checking emails and taking meetings by phone as needed.

This would give me the flexibility to pick P up from school every day. I'd still have time three days a week to work on my idea. And, for all of this, I'd get to keep 70% of my old pay check. It seemed like a great idea. Except, this week it hasn't been. With P out of school on three days and my computer working in fits and bursts, I haven't gotten much of anything done. So, today I'm going in to the office to get through the work and the IT issues.

Hopefully next week is better. Otherwise, I may have to resign a second time.


Cheers!
mouse

Resurfacing

Dear Friends and Family,

Where to begin?

Well, I'm begin with the easiest one. P. P's last day at school was Friday, August 23rd as planned. She had a good day. Mr. mouse and I went to pick her up. We got all of her things. We took lots of pictures. We gave lots of hugs. We walked out together.

We took a week off to go on a family vacation. Then, we had Monday off. P went to school for an hour with Mr. mouse and me on Tuesday for orientation. She spent the rest of Tuesday with me. She had a first full day of classes yesterday and spent the afternoon with me. She had today off. Then, she's back at school on Friday.

She had a meltdown last night about not getting enough time with Mr. mouse. I think she misses spending time with him. There's a lot of new stuff we're throwing at her. She's got new teachers, new classmates, a new building, a new food routine, a new schedule, and more time with Mom. It's a LOT to be throwing at a four-year-old.

I think, at a minimum, we'll need to give her 2-3 weeks of a regular schedule to see how she's doing. Which means the next checkpoint will be the end of September.

I won't lie, it's been a tough week. With Monday off, Tuesday for orientation, Wednesday full day, Thursday off, and Friday full day, there's no routine whatsoever to the week. On top of that, Mr. mouse has a work dinner tonight and I have Mom's night tomorrow night, and I'm probably going in to work tomorrow (more on that later) so there's really no routine whatsoever. We had a morning coffee yesterday, needed to stop by the school store for school shirts, and tomorrow's the first "wear the school colors" day for P. We had lots of discussions about P's milk (we're allowed to bring it after much wrangling). It feels like a week with no rhyme or reason.

What do I like about the new routine that'll be coming up? I won't miss traffic. I get to take the bus with P which involves a lot less thinking. I also get a mini walk in four times a day. I won't miss work (more on that later). I get a little piece of work (more on that later) and some time for myself. I'm excited for P. I hope she settles in and likes school. I'm excited to be able to spend more time with P. I'm excited that I'm starting with a blank slate and get to rewrite my life and my habit strategy. It feels like a new chapter.

What am I going to miss? I miss time in the car with P. I know, I don't miss traffic. But, I do miss the conversations we had in the car. I miss playing number squeeze challenge, singing, playing this animal, playing rhyming games, talking about people and why they do what they do, joking about chocolate chip cookie accidents, pointing out trains and cement mixers and construction and everything else we noticed on the roads, and everything else we did in the car to entertain ourselves on the way to school. P's a lot more quiet on the bus. Perhaps she'll start talking more on the bus and we'll get to enjoy that too. I miss the familiar. I miss seeing old friends at drop-off and pick-up at school. I miss my routines.

Well, today's a busy day. P and I get to finish a science experiment we started last night. And, then we may take a drive for old times sake. And, this afternoon she has dance.


Cheers!
mouse