Mouse Realizes We Need a Budget

Dear Friends and Family,

Every so often things get out of control and Mr. mouse and I forget that money doesn't grow on trees. And, we need to remind ourselves that we can live within our means.

Now is one of those times. And, because I don't have time for complicated new habit loops, I'm going to try a very simple approach.

For the seven days, I am going to try and spend under $100. And, by spend I mean anything I would normally charge to my credit card, not including gas. Guess I’m bringing in lunch all week.

What I've got planned:

1. $30, WED or THU, dinner with P
2. $25, SAT, brunch with P
3. $10, SAT, bakery with P
4. $25, SUN, manicure, just me

For gas:

1. $51, MON, I had already filled the tank
2. $49, WED or THU

That leaves $10 to spare, if I make it the whole week bringing in lunch and not buying anything and not have Mr. mouse meet me to drive home together - it's $5 a trip for that luxury.

I don't think one week's budget will save the world. But, it's a mindset that cues spending.

For example, yesterday, traffic wasn't great and Mr. mouse offered to meet me. But, if we met, the chances were high we'd go out to dinner. And, that would be $5 + dinner that I hadn't budgeted. So, I declined his offer.

Cue 1: offer to meet → Routine 1: accept and then go out to dinner → Reward 1: dinner and a nap on the way home

Cue 2: offer to meet → Routine 2: bounce offer against budget and then decline → Reward 2: a lower credit card bill

I realize there are a lot of people on a lot tighter a budget than we are on. But, I'm not going to try and over-complicate this. I've had success with my habit loops so far. I don't feel the need to have my house of cards come tumbling down on me.


Cheers!
mouse

Habits of Convenience

Dear Friends and Family,

I think there's a reason why parents habits can change so much during the first year of new parenthood. It's inherent in the process.

There's a bunch of things we need to buy that we didn't need to buy before. Some are consumable like diapers. Some are one-time purchases like car seats.

There's a bunch of places we start to go - like the doctor's office and the park.

There's a bunch of things we need to learn - like feeding a baby, diapering a baby, and bathing a baby.

There's a bunch of things we have to change - like fitting in childcare either at home or at work.

And, there's the fact that right after you figure it out, baby resets all of the above... there's figuring out solids, there's figuring out baby gates, the list never ends.

And, after the first year, there's figuring out getting rid of the pacifier and bottle and adding the cup. And, transitioning from two naps to one. And, and, and...

And, in the midst of all this, the parents are rewriting their own habit loops willy-nilly without thought and/or purpose, going with what's top of mind or convenient. That's why things seem so impossible, because we adopt all of these habits without thinking about them and then don't have time to work through them once they're there - especially parents who then hit reset and have a second child.

Pity the poor parents.

Now that P is almost three, it's time to think through all of the habits from the past three years and figure out how to re-adjust and optimize.

Cheers!

mouse

More Habit Loops

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday was the last of my "found food" days. I had Chipotle for lunch because is was free. And, today I had a miserable weigh in. In building my habit loops (aka mouse's house of cards) I've so far accomplished a fair bit considering I only started on this journey in March.

1. nails are growing
2. laundry is getting done
3. kitchen is getting organized
4. retainer is being worn

And, now, food is getting ignored. Yep. The other morning I was waiting for P to wake up in the parking lot and took the time to scribble down some of my food routines, cues, habits and rewards. It wasn't as difficult as the nails list.

First of all, I know what my old routine on Weight Watchers was. My current routines aren't hard to isolate. I know the routine. Food gets picked up and put in mouth. The rewards are sadly not very rewarding. So, it was really isolating the cues that I needed to do.

Some cues were easy - time of day and hunger. Some were replacement cues for nail biting - bored, stuck, stressed. Some were social - food with people. For now, I'm tackling everything minus time of day. I can eat breakfast. I can eat lunch. I can eat dinner. I can eat my fruit and vegetables. Everything is will be ignored.

No more found food.

We'll see how many cards I can add to this house of cards before it all comes tumbling down.


Cheers!
mouse

Paint, Paint, Go Away

Dear Friends and Family,

Just when I was making such good progress on the nails, I decided to wash out some of P's paint containers this morning. And, now my fingers are a red and green hue.

It's nice to have the clutter gone, but I need to find a way to keep my newly growing nails from becoming objects of picking now that they have bits of paint stain in them.

I've decided watching nails grow is like watching paint dry. Listening to my blather about my nails growing must be as interesting as listening to paint dry.


Cheers!
mouse

Question on Automation Loops

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm rather pleased with the progress I've made on automating my life. I have a kitchen that stays vaguely under control. I have 10 short, but socially acceptable fingernails. I have a laundry bin that is manageable. I have a better oral hygiene.

But, there's only so much you can incorporate into an existing routine before it's not really an existing routine anymore. For instance, I think I have a decent shot at adding wearing my retainer to my evening teeth brushing routine. But, can I really add 60 minutes of yoga and trick myself into doing it? I think not.

And, when you remove things from a routine like checking email at lunch, then how do you add it back into another routine at home? See? This isn't all cake walk.

Oddly enough, habits take planning.

I'll have to think about this some more. I don't think I'm ready to add any more changes to the current house of cards. Before I know it, I'll be back to a mountain of stuff on the kitchen island, 10 nubbins on my fingers and a pile of dirty laundry.


Cheers!
mouse

Complicated Nail Biting Habit Revisited

Dear Friends and Family,

Time for a manicure this weekend. The cuticles are beginning to fray and three nails are bordering on overgrown. I know I will regret it if I try to make it another week to three weeks.

But, this is all good news. The nails are definitely in better shape now than they were two weeks ago when I got my first manicure and started my March challenge of figuring out my nail biting habit.

When I have to pee, I get up and pee. When I am hungry, I snack. When I am cold, I get tea or coffee. When I am stuck, I sit back and think. When I am bored, I find a way to occupy myself.

Wow. If one book can get me to kick this habit, I owe that author a profound gratitude for changing my life. Then again, it's only been two weeks. This is one I need to gauge longer than that since it tends to come back when I least expect it.

There might be additional cues out there that I haven't discovered yet.


Cheers!
mouse

The Complicated Nail Biting Habit

Dear Friends and Family,

It's amazing I have fingernails at all.

After two weeks of careful note taking, I've determined it's a combination of cues that trigger nail biting. I've figured out the routine. I still don't have a good grasp on the reward.

The Easy Cues

These deal with my hands. These also help explain why manicures help. If they're in good shape, I tend to leave them alone. If they're in bad shape, I tend to pick at them. First, there's the cuticles. Hangnails, overgrown cuticles, and rough spots on healing cuticles seem to trigger nail biting. Then, there's the nail edge. Rough edges, broken edges, edges with lots of random bits of skin seem to trigger nail biting. Last, but not least, overgrown nails or broken nails seem to trigger nail biting.

The Harder Cues

If that all isn't enough. There are the other cues. I'm hungry. I'm cold. I'm bored. I'm stuck. I'm pressed for time. I'm stressed. I'm waiting for a file to open. I need to pee. Yes, it's almost like I'm looking for an excuse to bite my nails. However, on the flip side, if I'm fed and occupied, I am in good shape.

The Routine

I start with my fingers - picking at all the possible things I can pick at. If I need "help" I'll turn to other things like files, clips, etc. that could "help" with whatever I am picking at. And, if that doesn't work, then I turn to my teeth and biting and somehow believe that will remedy the situation.

The Reward

Who the hell knows. Seriously.

The Current Status

I'm trying bi-weekly manicures to get the nails into shape and then hopefully keep them in shape. I'm trying to track my "other" cues and divert them into more healthy behavior. My right hand is making progress, outside of my thumb. My left hand is making progress, albeit at a slower pace. The index finger and ring finger are still gross.

It's been an interesting learning process, that's for sure.


Cheers!
mouse

Nail Biting

Dear Friends and Family,

I know I'm trying too many things at once. But, I'm curious.

The laundry thing has been working this week. On nights we get home at a reasonable hour, I bring down a load of laundry to do during the evening. Too early to declare success, but progress.

In the mornings, I set the timer for 15 minutes. I organize while I make my coffee. Then, when the timer goes off, I stop and resume my normal morning routine of coffee, news, blog, etc. Too early to declare success, but progress.

Now, I want to see if I can add another "thing" to the loops. Nail biting. This week I want to try and figure out what my cues are. Unfortunately, I don't think it's a single one. I think it's a panacea of sorts for me. I wouldn't be surprised if there are multiple cues.

But, I'm optimistic. I think this isn't an impossible nut to crack. Why? Well, I already have some clues.

• I only bite my nails at work. I don't bite at home. I don't bite during the car ride. If we go on vacation, I inevitably come back with progress on the nail front.
• I don't think I bite during meetings. I'm almost certain it's when I'm at my desk alone. Not 100% certain, but almost certain.
• I know if I get regular manicures, my likelihood of biting goes down. I've had several instances of growing my nails through this process. Polish reduces the likelihood even more.
• I know there's a certain point when my nails get too long and then they all go at once.
• I know it's hardest to recover when they are bad. When they are decent, I somehow don't bite as often. Like it's either a virtuous cycle (of sorts) or a vicious cycle (most of the time).
• I don't bite evenly. My right thumb and left ring finger are the most frequent victims. My pinkies tend to fare well.

If nothing else, it'll give me "intellectual challenge" in March. And, it'll definitely help on the "when things look good" front of the happiness map.

Which reminds me. The laundry? It helps with getting to "completed to do list" which leads to "being relaxed." And, the 15 minutes in the morning? It helps with "clean house" which leads to "when things look good."

Optimistic.


Cheers!
mouse

Habit Formation

Dear Friends and Family,

Because I've always been interested in habit formation and my finger nails are bitten to nubs and there's an article floating around on habits, I've decided to...

Stop biting my nails? Nope. Start doing laundry.

Yep.

Here's my current routine. I come home. I divest myself of my "pockets" - wallet, watch, glasses, keys, camera, etc. I hang up my coat and put my gloves away. I take my phone upstairs with me and plug it in. I change. I put a pin in my hair. I come downstairs for the evening.

New routine. Same as above. Except, after I put a pin in my hair. If I'm home at a reasonable hour, as in we didn't go out for dinner, I sort through the laundry and bring a load down to wash. I load the washer and set it to clean. I put the laundry basket on the stairs to take up later in the evening. I am downstairs for the evening. Resume former routine.

Sometime in the evening when the load is done I transfer it to the dryer and set it to dry. This is new.

When I head up for bed, instead of just walking up, I bring the laundry basket back up and load the laundry on the floor (from the sorting) back into the basket. Resume former routine of brushing teeth, etc.

I think it's got a shot at working. But, what about the laundry that's now dry that needs to be taken out, folded, brought upstairs, and put away? I've asked Mr. mouse to keep that part afloat for now.


Cheers!
mouse