Back Under Control

Dear Friends and Family,

After neglecting essentially everything for the summer, I feel like my life has some semblance of control again. My email inbox is back to five unanswered emails. I paper pile is under an inch tall and I know what is in it. My calendar is up to date. The kitchen island is clear.

How did I let the summer happen to me? I know where a lot of the summer went. A lot of the summer went to planning our vacation. The rest of the summer went to walking. And, a piece went to playing with P and solving her eczema. Was it all worth it? I guess. But, I'm glad to be back in control of my life again.

Time to get ready for my day.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Mr. mouse and I had a second night of crepes and wine. I've decided I like crepes and wine for dessert.

The Sounds of Laughter

Dear Friends and Family,

I have a friend whose life has been tough recently. And, because of her nature she's tried to shoulder it alone. I'd given her space and time, but I was eager to see her again. And, last night, I got to see her and it was so good. There were adults chatting in her dining room and kids playing in the living room and the sounds of laughter echoed off of the walls. She told me it was good to hear the house full again with the sounds of people and I believe it.

I remember another friend who also went through some very trying times. Instead of going it alone, she threw open her doors and we flooded into her house. There were, literally, 30-40 people in her house at any given point in time. There were rules, of course, like we were all expected to pitch in, and the second floor was off limits for when G needed some alone time. But, the house was never empty. We signed up for shifts. We spent a lot of the time just talking to each other. But, we were there for anything that needed to be done.

And, I think there's something healthy about that human connection. If I were to ever go through a trying time, I think I'd look to my friends, old and new, to help sustain me. I think I'm strong enough to go the road alone. But, I'm glad I have friends so I don't have to.

I'm also glad my friend has gotten over the hump. I look forward to seeing her again in the near future.


Cheers!
mouse

Completely Free Day

Dear Friends and Family,

P's in camp today and my to do list is blank. The house is a bit of a mess, my inbox can definitely use some love, and I need to do a little research on a vacation we're planning. But, overall, it's a free day for me. I could have blown it on the parade downtown, but I think I'll savor it instead by spending the day at home just relaxing.

I looked back on my list from this week last year and it's a hot mess. 24 tasks long, it gives me a headache to even look at it much less try to summarize it here for you. Two years ago? 2013? 18 tasks long. 2012? 16 tasks.

So, I think I'll brew a nice cup of tea and enjoy the day.


Cheers!
mouse

Nice Dream

Dear Friends and Family,

Wednesday night I had a nice dream. I had a dream about an ex-boyfriend - the one I was dating when I met Mr. mouse. I always felt a little bad that things did not work out between the two of us. Or rather, I don't feel badly that things didn't work out between the two of us, but I do feel badly about how it ended.

In my dream, I ran into him and he was working in scientific research and had just announced a major breakthrough in the field he was studying. He was married with children. He was doing well. He was happy. We had a nice conversation. And, he forgave me for the mess I made of our lives 20 years ago.

I woke up feeling warm and happy. It was a nice dream.


Cheers!
mouse

Spouses

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, I was watching a video from my mom's dance recital. She had been practicing for months and I thought she was beautiful.

Watching her dance, I began to wonder what she wanted from her marriage. I think she wants to feel loved and cherished and appreciated. I feel bad, because those aren't things my dad is especially good at. My dad? I don't know. On the surface, I think he wants a servant, someone to keep his house clean, cook his food, and fetch for him constantly. But, deeper down, I think he's looking for validation and self-worth. I think he's a got a lot of baggage, but no one can give him what he needs. That comes from within. I'm just not sure after all of these years that he'll find it in him.

Then, I realized how different my relationship is with Mr. mouse. I want to be loved and cherished and appreciated. But, just as important to me is to feel like I'm on my life's journey with my best friend. I want companionship. And, I feel like I have all of that and more with Mr. mouse. We enjoy spending time together.

This weekend we are celebrating, marking the weekend twenty years ago when we first spent a lot of time together. We had met briefly before that in random chance encounters, but this weekend is special for us.

Today, I'm feeling especially happy.


Cheers!
mouse

A Day with My Big Kid

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday and P is back at school after a day off. We thoroughly enjoyed the day yesterday.

We ate breakfast, changed our clothes, brushed our teeth, packed our lunch and went out for the day.

We drove to the Nature Museum and found free parking right outside the door. We ate lunch right when we showed up because P said she was hungry. Then, P and I played a ton in the museum, first with the water exhibit learning how canals and dams work. We went to learn about butterflies and about nature habitats. And, we finished off the day playing with the water exhibit.

It was nice with all of the sun streaming in. And, the place wasn't crowded. And, P and I do enjoy our days alone together. I'm looking forward to winter vacation. Hopefully we have a couple of days together then.

We met Mr. mouse for dinner. And, P fell asleep holding my hand on the way home from dinner. Not every day with my big kid will be like yesterday. But, I'm thankful for the ones I get.


Cheers!
mouse

Little Things

Dear Friends and Family,

It was raining this morning and I needed to drop off some art work at school so I drove P to school. Of course, the traffic was horrible. Of course, the rain got heavier right when we were pulling into a parking spot. Of course, P was confused. Of course, P almost stepped into a puddle. Of course, I barked at her about the puddle. Of course, she dawdled. Of course, the wind picked up right when we turned the corner. Of course, this upset P more. Of course, she dawdled more. Of course, we finally made it to school.

Did it get better then? Of course not. She needed her umbrella tied. I told her to wait until we got upstairs since the entry way was crowded. She was building up steam. I was building up steam. We tied the umbrella. I wanted her to put the umbrella under her bag. She wanted to hang it on the hook. We argued. I laid down the ultimatum and gave her a toddler choice of put it where I tell you to put it or I'll take it with me back to the car. She got upset. I got upset. She started crying. I comforted her. She got clingy. I got annoyed. Finally, she was "late" to school and the teacher came out and got her. I think she realized something was up because another teacher saw P in the hall with me.

I delivered my art work and walked back to the car. I was still annoyed. Then, to cap it all off, I unlocked my door to get into the car, I went to close the umbrella... I accidentally locked the car door, the umbrella closed partway and reopened splashing me with water, the wind blew soaking me with more water, I unlocked the car door and threw the umbrella and my bag in, in my hurry to get in I must half only opened the door partway, because it swung shut as it sometimes does... on my foot, but not before one more gust of wind blew one more sheet of water on me.

Yep. That just happened.

The little thing? Oh, I found parking near school in all of this mayhem.


Cheers!
mouse

Field Trip!

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm going on a field trip! I'm going on a field trip! I'm going on a field trip!

Can you tell I'm excited? It's the main thing I was upset about with leaving old work. I thought I had missed all of the field trips. But, fortunately for me, there's two more and I'm going on one today.

Sometimes, you need to focus on the positives like today's field trip and not on the negatives like the missed field trips.

I'm going on a field trip! I'm going on a field trip! I'm going on a field trip!


Cheers!
mouse

Feeling Accomplished

Dear Friends and Family,

Yay! I was able to cross off a giant to do from my to do list. I went through over 400 emails from P's old school. I copied down names of classmates and downloaded photos of P for her photo book. I saved the files. I sorted the emails. I imported all 223 photos into iphoto. I changed the dates to match the dates the photos were originally taken. I am exhausted.

I made a commitment to cross off 18 things from my to do list this week. I have 17 things crossed off. One more and I'm at my goal for the week.

I feel accomplished. Granted I still have to clean the house. And, I still need to do some work on my old work and my new work. And, and, and.

I don't care. I think, for now, I'll savor the feeling of accomplishment.


Cheers!
mouse

Found! National Geographic Guide to the National Parks of the United States, Perfect

Dear Friends and Family,

I went down to the basement to see if it was in a state of complete disrepair since our friends will be coming over tonight instead of tomorrow. Fortunately, it isn't.

Then I started looking at books and thought about how some books are a waste of space. There are the books my Dad gave me that I haven't been inspired to read in over a decade. There are the books we've read once and then shelved. There are books that have pretty pictures. There are travel books which fortunately we've stopped accumulating.

And, that's just the first two shelves!

Then, I stumbled across a book I didn't even know we owned. It's from 2003 so it's almost a decade old. But, it's just the book I'm interested in right now. Why? Because we've been discussing a trip out to the National Parks but hadn't come across any good resources for inspiration.

This book is organized by geography. It's got maps and pretty pictures and day hikes and excursions and it's perfect for planning a trip.

Granted it's almost 10 years old. But, hopefully, parks aren't changing that quickly. And, we can always get deeper into the research once we get closer to the trip. But, it's just the right thing to get us started.

I'm so excited. Happy Friday.


Cheers!
mouse

P's Unicorn Moment

Dear Friends and Family,

I got off work early on Monday. And, since it was a gorgeous afternoon, I decided to take P to the park where we ran into three "Park Slope" moms.

They loved P's haircut. They said they could eat her up. They oohed and aahed and gushed and I realized we were having a unicorn moment - one of those moments when the lighting is right and P is just irresistible.

Unicorn moments have become less common as P has grown older. This is a good thing since it was making me a little paranoid when she was younger. But, they're still special moments. I try not to let it get to my head.

I've got a pretty special kid in my house. She's one in a million.


Cheers!
mouse

Camping Inside

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night, P asked if we could sleep on the futon. I had told her we could the next time Mr. mouse was traveling. That way, she could sleep with me and I wouldn't have to worry about her falling off of the bed.

Except, last night, Mr. mouse was home and laughed and laughed at the thought that P had "ratted me out." Except, I didn't really consider it a secret. After all, who trusts a two year old with a secret?

We set up the futon and she fell asleep next to me. And, although the futon needed a little more cushioning, it was nice waking up this morning with P snuggled up next to me and her arm wrapped around my neck.

I also learned that P will mumble words and phrases in her sleep - like something about a straw in a cup last night.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Finger update. We left it unwrapped until it started bleeding Tuesday night. Last night I looked at it and the nail is less black and blue. The part closest to her nail bed is still darker than the rest of it, but there are places where you can see the pink of the nail bed under the blue. The other side is still pretty swollen.

Mouse Winter Cabin Time

Dear Friends and Family,

Some people would look on the five years I spent at the Mouse Winter Cabin as a waste of time. I didn't necessarily move my career forward. I didn't necessarily move my relationship forward. I didn't necessarily accomplish anything huge.

But, I think it was the best five years of my life. I had a chance to grow up. I met Mr. mouse straight out of school. And, I wondered if I would ever resent the fact that I never had a chance to be me. I would always be half of us, to a degree.

Those five years were a chance to be me. To grow into who I am today. I still saw Mr. mouse every weekend and I still talked to him every night, but it was still a chance to be me. And, I'm eternally grateful I had that opportunity.


Cheers!
mouse

Bus Day

Dear Friends and Family,

P is home with pink eye so I am taking the bus to work today. Thankfully, it's not snowing or anything so it should be a good day. I'm looking forward to the down time.


Cheers!
mouse

Sunflower

Dear Friends and Family,

I was so depressed yesterday morning. Stressed and miserable I left for work. Cold, damp and sad, I went into the office to start my day. Lunch was a miserable affair in an overcast cafeteria. And, the afternoon dragged on.

But, when I left work and drove to pick up P, the sun FINALLY broke through the clouds and I was a new person. I know seasonal disorders affect different people to different degrees, but I am beginning to realize they impact me more than I would like. This cold, wet, snowy, overcast spring certainly hasn't helped.

Hopefully, we get a break in the weather and I can begin to get my life back in gear. Some people celebrate tax freedom day. I celebrate winter freedom day - that brief window from March 21st through September 21st when the days are longer and the air is warmer and mouse is happy.


Cheers!
mouse

Mommy...

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday morning, I got to school a little early, compliments of the reduced traffic on a federal holiday. And, P looked so peaceful sleeping in her "safety seat." I decided to let her sleep in a little before waking her to go in.

I took some pictures and then was reading the news on my phone when I heard a happy, "Mommy" from the back seat. I looked back and found P awake with a giant smile on her face.

I smiled back. And, because I couldn't resist. I took a couple of more pictures of giant smile P before unbuckling her and getting her ready for school.

Little things that add big doses of happiness to a day.


Cheers!
mouse

P and Four Magic Words

Dear Friends and Family,

Sometimes your child does something that just melts your heart and makes you think now is the best moment ever. Never mind that you've had that thought for the past eighteen months. This time, you're sure you're right.

P is growing by leaps and bounds. She longer and leaner and more solid. But, more importantly, she's putting so many pieces together.

She says yum when she sees food or pictures of food. She says yeah when Mr. mouse carries her down the stairs. She says whee when she see a picture of a slide (never mind that it was a picture of the emergency slide on the safety information card on the plane). She says more bottle, milk please and looks at you to see if she got it right.

She's begun dancing. She tries to reattach a broken crayon. She wipes her hands, her nose, the table and her parents if asked to clean up. She covers her mouth when she coughs after watching me do the same for the past month.

She says please and thank you.

Oh, the four magic words? more bottle, milk please (Sunday night, on the way home from the airport). It's like when she said more for the first time, seeing if she got it right. She's said two words strung together, like more book or thank you, but she thinks of those as one notion. This time, she strung words and phrases together to get to a sentence.

It's a wonderful time.


Cheers!
mouse

Girlfriends

Dear Friends and Family,

I had a job once for a very short period of time - six months. A former manager called me to say he had a fabulous opportunity that was perfect for me. I decided to take him up on the offer.

I found a three ring circus with a mad scientist as the ringleader. After six months of living in a Dalian Alice in Wonderland, I decided to find new work. But, in those six months I found several friends for life. There's Trixie and G and Frenchie and Ms. Jordan and so many others.

And, that's why I believe that things happen for a reason and even in your darkest moments your friends can keep you sane and make you laugh. And, I am grateful for the friends that I have.


Cheers!
mouse

The Adventures of Mommy Mouse

Dear Friends and Family,

I've come to the sad, sad conclusion that my blog is a sad, sad blog.

With the long commute, I no longer have the time in the morning wax philosophical. And, with the lack of sleep my once semi-faceted life has turned into a uniform sleep, wake, drive, work, drive, eat, sleep routine.

And, yet, the toddler accomplishments keep coming. Perhaps it's okay to recognize that for now, I'm merely mommy mouse. And, at some point in the future, mouse as an independent entity will re-emerge stronger and better for the time spent as mommy.

P walked to the car with my yesterday - all the way from her room, through school, through the parking lot and to the car. She's growing up.

And, yesterday, during bath time, she asked Mr. mouse for some soap which she used to rub her belly - three times. Cleanest belly in all of town.

And, last but not least, our toddler has fallen in love with her pillow. We relented a couple of months ago and gave her a pillow. And, now, she sleeps with it all the time. Last night, I went in to her room to say goodnight and she was asleep on her clean belly with her head on her pillow.


Cheers!
mouse

Midnight Snack

Dear Friends and Family,

P didn't eat much dinner last night. And, she wasn't in the mood for much milk either (more on that later). So, it came as no surprise when she woke at 1:44AM to tell us she was hungry.

Now, if she were older we could explain she should have eaten more dinner. But, at 15 months I'm not sure it'd stick.

So, we brought her downstairs and Mr. mouse grabbed some food out of the refrigerator. I spooned some yogurt into a bowl and he put on her bib. And, then she ate. And, the sight of her diligently using the spoon in the semi-darkness we keep our kitchen at for midnight snacks while Mr. mouse was holding the bowl for her somehow made the 1:44 wake up call worth it.


Cheers!
mouse