The Other Things That Continues to Stay with Me

Dear Journal,

Yesterday, I mentioned two things continue to stay with me from my two fabulous trips this past spring. The first I wrote about yesterday. The second is an app I want to build. There's a bunch of stuff floating through my head about what it'll do.

I'll write some of it down on paper and then I think I'll build a paper mock up of it. Then, I think I'll be in a better spot to see if it's something worth pursuing. At the very least, building the paper mock up will be fun. So, I'll continue working on it and see if goes anywhere.


Cheers!
mouse

Program Management Time

Dear Friends and Family,

It's mid-March and I have been working on and off on my work website since the beginning of the year. If I'm going to be honest with myself, days can go by where I don't make much progress. This wouldn't happen at work. But, at home, when there's a lot of distractions, it does happen.

And, to the degree that I'm partially retired, I'm okay with letting life get in the way. I like our home beginning organized. I like not feeling like I'm treading water with absolute chaos just around the corner. I like looking at a to do list that is under control. I like having time for walks now that the days are nice.

But, at the same time, the program manager in me feels like I need to better scope out the website. I think I'll put together a plan for April 15th to go live come hell or high water, or frankly both. Then, I can continue to modify it and work on it and improve it. But, I'll be live. That'll be my plan for today. I'll put together a plan for the next four weeks to get from here to there. I am confident I can do it.

I can do anything I set my heart and mind to. It's usually a matter of setting my heart and mind to it.


Cheers!
mouse

Piper Time

Dear Friends and Family,

I've got a busy day ahead of me. I'm going to pick up mail. Then, I'll eat lunch. Then, I'm headed to the library for some quiet time to work on my business. I've been avoiding it for the past week, partly because I lined up a bunch of social engagements that I had put off and partly because I've got a big decision I need to make.

So, I'm headed to the library to work on my decision. Wish me luck.


Cheers!
mouse

09.02.14: The Very Last Day of Summer Vacation

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday. We're back from vacation. And, it's our very last day of summer vacation.

It's been a great week. We spent a weekend back in our first work town visiting friends. It's been 20 years since that first summer in our first work town. It was fun driving along the same roads, remembering life in 1994 which does not seem all that long ago.

Then, we went on our end-of-summer vacation. This time, instead of going to a far flung location, we went to Seattle to visit a host of friends we have in the Pacific Northwest. We got to spend a lot of time with my cousin and my two year old nephew who is technically my first cousin once removed.

This was also a mile marker trip. A year ago, I quit old work only to be persuaded into staying on part time. While the money was good, I've realized many times over that I shouldn't have agreed to stay on part time. I didn't have enough time to do anything right, splitting my time three ways. And, ultimately, I spent a lot of time detoxing from what ultimately was a less that satisfactory transition from old work.

Still, in taking this trip, I realized two very important things. I only lost a year. I am, now, where I could have been last year. And, while a year lost is a year lost, I can take comfort in having lost only a year. I am so glad not to be splitting my time three ways going forward. And, the other thing I realized was that while there was a lot of toxicity related to old work, I still had a good year. P made new friends. I made new friends. And, we had a great summer together. There's so many happy memories. The year wasn't a total waste.

So, my friends, we're headed into our last day of summer vacation. P's bag is packed. We have orientation in an hour and half. Then, P and I have one last day together before we head off to kindergarten.


Cheers!
mouse

08.18.14: Catching Up

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Monday and I'm feeling good.

We had a fun weekend. Saturday, we took P to the lake to see the air and water show. Sunday, we went to a friends house for a wonderful Sunday get together.

I also had a chance to talk with a girl friend who might be interested in hiring me and with a guy friend who might also be interested in hiring me.

So, instead of spending too much time here, I think I'll go work on some business proposals this morning.


Cheers!
mouse

And, Then, I Woke Up

Dear Friends and Family,

There are bad days at work. And, there are BAD days at work. Granted no one dies if I have a bad day at work. But, yesterday, I felt like a little piece of me died.

I've always believed you have an obligation to speak your mind. I've also believed that you have to support the team once the team comes to a decision. It's just chaos otherwise. So, yesterday, I spoke my mind. And, frankly, the team came to a stupid decision. I'm going to support it. But, it's not one I agree with.

And, that's when a light bulb turned on in my head. I love it when light bulbs turn on. Because the light they shed on a truth that's just sitting around waiting to be discovered can be life changing. There's no "not knowing" something once you "know" it.

What do I know now?

I know that I am no longer invested in old work. I don't feel like I have anything to learn. I don't feel like I have much I am willing to give. Yesterday, it went from being a job to being a paycheck. I'm not invested enough to care enough to speak my mind. I think I'll just do.

Thanks. I needed that, desperately. Now, I can focus on my idea.


Cheers!
mouse

Thinking Like an Entrepreneur

Dear Friends and Family,

I just put together a preliminary P&L for the month of January for my new business. I definitely lost money the first two weeks. I almost broke even the following two weeks. And, in the process, I'm putting together my lessons learned for the month.

1. I need more clients. I have two clients right now. Obviously that's not a sustainable business. February will need to focus on growing sales.
2. The business can't afford any extraneous expenses. Yes, I ordered business cards, but I think I'll need those to grow sales (see above). But, the $50 I spent on ink in January seems like a luxury in retrospect. For February, I'll need to avoid the temptation to spend money on things that are not essential.
3. I need more time. I need to do things like put together a website and go through my business mail and stuff. I've been working part-time at old work. I think I may need to rethink that strategy sometime in the near future.

Still, I'm happy. I did better in January than I thought I would. I'm jazzed.


Cheers!
mouse

Free Day

Dear Friends and Family,

P's back in school. And, my one employee is on vacation. So, I have a free day all to myself. Glorious free time.

I'm going to try and be productive this morning. So far, I figured out how to pay my business credit card from my business bank account. And, I got laundry started.

Now, I can either write two emails soliciting clients or I can tackle 2013 taxes. I think I'll tackle the taxes.


Cheers!
mouse

Hump Day

Dear Friends and Family,

I'll be honest. I'm a little overwhelmed.

Today, I have time to work on my new idea. I have a doctor's appointment. I have the afternoon with P which is the highlight of my day. I have a meeting with some parents to work on P's yearbook. Then, I get a little time with Mr. mouse and P and then I need to work on old work for about two hours.

I'll be honest. I'm thinking about leaving old work again. It's just plain stupid. I went in yesterday and my work exploded. All of a sudden everyone cares. This would be awesome if I still worked there and cared. But, given that I'm a part-time employee looking to start my own business, it's not awesome. Now, it just feels like a lot of work when I've got a lot more interested stuff to focus on.

Ask me why I'm there? I'll be honest. It's part mercenary, it's part prostitution, both of which are against my religion. In other words, it's for the money. I'm selling my time for money. There's little emotional fulfillment and what emotional fulfillment there is is derived from friendships, not from work.

It'll all come to a crux in the summer because I'll want to spend more time with P. Something will have to budge. But, that's the summer. I just need to get through today.


Cheers!
mouse

New Day

Dear Friends and Family,

My life is just a little more organized. The house is just a little more clean. Why? Because I hired a personal assistant! I figured if I need time to focus on my new business, I would need help to keep my current life from becoming a train wreck.

We spent about two hours together yesterday. My assistant put away my laundry. She cleared through my mail. She sorted through a pile of papers on my kitchen counter. And, she took down half of my Christmas lights. Progress. And, the best part is, I think she'll be able to do even more once she gets used to the house and where everything goes.

So excited.


Cheers!
mouse

Big Bang

Dear Friends and Family,

After two years of dabbling in entrepreneurship, today's the big day. My first employee starts today. She starts at 9 this morning in 40 minutes. So, I need to go shower soon.

Needless to say, I'm super excited. I'm also a little exhausted. Mr. mouse and I were up until three in the morning talking about summer camp. But, now, we have a strategy and we're in frenzied application mode. We submitted the first of the applications this morning. We log on tomorrow morning for the second of three. Wish us luck.

Back to today. I'm super excited. We have five hours to knock out things like W4 and W9 forms, talking about establishing a cell phone policy and a dress code, and actually doing two hours of work. Hooray!


Cheers!
mouse

Hourly, Not Exempt, I Think

Dear Friends and Family,

After much reading, I think I'm going to go with a very simple model for paying my employees. Hourly, not exempt, which means they are eligible for overtime. Simple enough.

Now, I'm waiting for a return phone call from the Department of Labor to answer some questions I have.

1. How should I record keep for home time?
2. Can I pay my employees a bonus each week, on top of their hourly wages, based on billable hours?
3. Can I pay my employees profit sharing?
4. Can I guarantee a minimum for the first X days?
5. Do I need to pay me?

Hopefully, I'll have some answers next week. Which means, the next thing I need to focus on is picking between the two candidates I interviewed.


Cheers!
mouse

My New Life

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday. My to do list is under control. I got to spend an hour on P's room yesterday. We have dinner with P's old teacher tonight.

I think I'm making progress on my top 3. Just need to find the time today this week to work on insurance, pay structure, and picking my first employee. Tomorrow's as good a time as any, I guess.


Cheers!
mouse

Interviews

Dear Friends and Family,

So excited. And, at the same time, so scared.

Today, I have two interviews for my first employee. I just wrote an interview guide with 12 questions. And, I printed out resumes to guide the discussion. Hopefully, I have a good discussion with a positive outcome. Hopefully.

It's a little scary, but at the same time very exciting.


Cheers!
mouse

Defragmenting, 24% Complete

Dear Friends and Family,

Now I realize why to do lists never get taken care of - things take forever, and who has the time?

We're now into our second week of working on exchanging the hard drive to remove a drive with errors and get some expanded capacity in the process. And, there's still a ways to go before I'm done. Sigh.

On a positive note, today is a beautiful day with more free time than I've had since I left work and P started school. Seems like a perfect day for working on my new idea. After all, it's not like I need to sit and watch my hard drive defragmenting, right? Right.


Cheers!
mouse

Another Day, Another Boss

Dear Friends and Family,

In case I haven't been explicit enough, I'm in countdown mode. I'm conflicted, but steady in my course.

I plan on leaving work in the near future. I want to get my bonus. That's next Monday. I want to do my estate planning since that's covered at work, but would cost several thousand dollars outside of work. That's next on our list of to dos. And, I may or may not want to wait until September since that's when P is transitioning to her new school.

I've resolved either way to keep her in her current school until September, so if it's not painful, it makes sense to stay at work until then since I'm driving there anyway. The question is will it be painful? And, that answer seems to change daily. My oh-so-painful boss resigned yesterday. And, I'm not sure if they're going to back fill him or just spread us out among the existing managers. My pain factor will probably depend on my new boss.

My real source of conflict is leaving work. I haven't not had a corporate job since 1994. That's almost 20 years. There's a piece of me that's scared. Right now, I have my independence. I have my network. I have my own source of income. I have my identity.

Who do I become if I leave my work? And, what are my options? I hate the idea of P living her life in institutionalized care because her parents work. I guess I don't feel like I have many options. I guess I just need to make progress on my idea and then I won't be conflicted. What if I fail? That's what I'm afraid of. What if I can't do this?

I need to wrap my head around this. I've always tried hard. I've always made progress. This should be no different. Chin up, mouse.


Cheers!
mouse

$150 Well Spent, I Think

Dear Friends and Family,

I met with an accountant a couple of weeks ago. And, he said he would review my taxes (work, not personal) for $150. He didn't find any major changes, but I feel better knowing that I didn't go too astray in the work I did. There's a couple of changes I need to make and then I think I'm ready to file, which is a good thing since business taxes are due March 15th and it's already March 6th. I think I need to knock this out this weekend since weekdays come and go without much getting done around the house.


Cheers!
mouse

Little Lightbulb Moments: Free, at Last

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, they cancelled my program.

The two people who were supposed to champion it got together and cancelled it. I'm being re-purposed to a new project. Lovely. I'm going to miss working with the people I worked with over the last year. But, I'm not as sad as I thought I'd be.

I had a talk with my former boss (the one I had for about a month after my old boss left) about a month ago. I told him I didn't hold any of the past changes against him. I told him I enjoyed my project. I told him with a raise, I would be motivated to stay another year. He was thrilled to hear that and assigned me to a new boss (just this past week) who apparently must have begun pouring poison into his ear about my project because now it's cancelled and my new boss had a wonderful new resource freed up to work on his other projects.

Why am I not as sad as I thought I'd be?

Well, it shows me the nature of my new boss.

And, it shows me how willing my former boss (the one I had for about a month after my old boss left) is to inject volatility back into my life (since apparently I told him I didn't hold old abuse against him) which means he wasn't all that sorry for the past changes. He was just saying so, so I feel like it shows me the nature of my former boss.

I'm not working on my project which is sad. We're killing it. I'll miss the teams I work with. I'll be leaving my business partners in a lurch. I'll miss driving the results we had been driving. This makes me sad.

I may or may not get the raise I've been promised.

So, why am I not as sad as I thought I'd be?

I'm free to leave. Before, if they got me the raise, I was committed to a year at work. Now, since the reneged on part of the bargain, I'm free to leave, raise or no raise.

I'm in the process of signing up my first customers and in the process of hiring my first employee. It all seems so fragile right now, but I guess all businesses start somewhere.

Next week, I'm going to take some time off to think. And, the week after I'm going to plow through school stuff. And, we begin getting notices in early March for P's school. And, in all this, I'm free to leave.

Perhaps I'm ready to jump into the pool. I hope the water's nice.


Cheers!
mouse

Reconnected

Dear Friends and Family,

Living without internet for the past week has been both a blessing and a curse. It frees up time that we spend on-line, but it makes things like looking up P's rash impossible to do.

Since we last spoke, we went home to visit my college roommate and celebrate her son's birthday. In the process, I had a chance to catch up with the whole college crowd. It was so good to see them and to talk and relax and enjoy ourselves. We had takeout brought to her house on Saturday and everyone gorged while the kids ran around the living room. Let me take that back, the boys ran around the living room while P played quietly by herself. Sunday, we had brunch and a quick trip to the museum before coming home. It was a perfect weekend trip.

The thyroid update. I'm 3 weeks into my new dosage. Eyes feel good. Hands feel good. Heart feels good. Less sleepy at night which is good. Internals feeling less convoluted which is good. More blood work on Tuesday. Fingers crossed. I'm not sure what for, but still, life feels better with fingers crossed than not.

Work update. I have a new boss. I'll see how much I like him. He's promised me extra people to help in my work and a raise - both good things. But, truth be told, I had a MAJOR blow-up with someone I work with. I'm ready to tell my boss I can't work with that someone any more. I can't. I think he'll be replaced in mid-Feb so this may resolve itself on its own. All that being said, I'm still more jazzed about my idea than I am about work. And, I still have my timeline framed up for leaving sometime between September and December as long as P gets into school this March. We'll have to see how school turns out before making any giant commitments for the fall.

P update. See it's been busy. P had pink eye starting Friday afternoon. She had fever starting Saturday evening. She had rash starting Monday evening. She stayed home with Mr. mouse yesterday. She's staying home with me today. Let's hope we can make it over the hump otherwise we need to reschedule her play date this Friday. Wait, that's tomorrow, isn't it? Lovely. Fingers crossed.

Home update. So much to do. Financial aid forms. Trip planning. Party clean up. I'm frazzled just thinking about it.

It's good to be back on-line.


Cheers!
mouse

Losing People Left and Right at Work, Gaining Momentum at Home

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday. I made it through another week at the office. Another person is leaving work. We're losing people left and right. It's beginning to get a little lonely.

I also faxed in my paperwork for my application for worker's compensation insurance. Hopefully that goes through okay. Which leave me with three more tasks, figuring out general liability insurance, hiring my first employee, and reaching out to friends to find my first batch of customers. I feel like this is all so much easier once you get some amount of momentum. After all, I don't want customers without an employee and I don't want to start payroll without any customers.

I guess I will have to work on it simultaneously and hope for the best. It's beginning to feel almost real.


Cheers!
mouse