Dear Friends and Family,
In case I haven't been explicit enough, I'm in countdown mode. I'm conflicted, but steady in my course.
I plan on leaving work in the near future. I want to get my bonus. That's next Monday. I want to do my estate planning since that's covered at work, but would cost several thousand dollars outside of work. That's next on our list of to dos. And, I may or may not want to wait until September since that's when P is transitioning to her new school.
I've resolved either way to keep her in her current school until September, so if it's not painful, it makes sense to stay at work until then since I'm driving there anyway. The question is will it be painful? And, that answer seems to change daily. My oh-so-painful boss resigned yesterday. And, I'm not sure if they're going to back fill him or just spread us out among the existing managers. My pain factor will probably depend on my new boss.
My real source of conflict is leaving work. I haven't not had a corporate job since 1994. That's almost 20 years. There's a piece of me that's scared. Right now, I have my independence. I have my network. I have my own source of income. I have my identity.
Who do I become if I leave my work? And, what are my options? I hate the idea of P living her life in institutionalized care because her parents work. I guess I don't feel like I have many options. I guess I just need to make progress on my idea and then I won't be conflicted. What if I fail? That's what I'm afraid of. What if I can't do this?
I need to wrap my head around this. I've always tried hard. I've always made progress. This should be no different. Chin up, mouse.
Cheers!
mouse
In case I haven't been explicit enough, I'm in countdown mode. I'm conflicted, but steady in my course.
I plan on leaving work in the near future. I want to get my bonus. That's next Monday. I want to do my estate planning since that's covered at work, but would cost several thousand dollars outside of work. That's next on our list of to dos. And, I may or may not want to wait until September since that's when P is transitioning to her new school.
I've resolved either way to keep her in her current school until September, so if it's not painful, it makes sense to stay at work until then since I'm driving there anyway. The question is will it be painful? And, that answer seems to change daily. My oh-so-painful boss resigned yesterday. And, I'm not sure if they're going to back fill him or just spread us out among the existing managers. My pain factor will probably depend on my new boss.
My real source of conflict is leaving work. I haven't not had a corporate job since 1994. That's almost 20 years. There's a piece of me that's scared. Right now, I have my independence. I have my network. I have my own source of income. I have my identity.
Who do I become if I leave my work? And, what are my options? I hate the idea of P living her life in institutionalized care because her parents work. I guess I don't feel like I have many options. I guess I just need to make progress on my idea and then I won't be conflicted. What if I fail? That's what I'm afraid of. What if I can't do this?
I need to wrap my head around this. I've always tried hard. I've always made progress. This should be no different. Chin up, mouse.
Cheers!
mouse
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