10.21.13: Fun Fall Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a lovely fall weekend.

Saturday, P went to school in the morning. Then, we went out to the pumpkin patch in the afternoon. P got to ride her tractor wagon ride, and we picked a ginormous pumpkin to bring home. We're decorating it this week for a school project. Then, Mr. mouse will need to drive us and the pumpkin to school on Monday.

I think the easiest thing to do will be to bring it to school in P's baby stroller. Then, I can bring the stroller home on the bus. It looked a lot smaller in the pumpkin patch. It really did.

Sunday, we took P to watch Frog and Toad. We had been preparing all week, rereading our Frog and Toad books. And, to say we were excited was an understatement. The set was gorgeous. The songs were delightful. But, the best part, for me, was watching P.

Her face lit up with smiles and laughter. She giggled when she couldn't control herself watching Frog and Toad cavort on the stage. She looked to the back of the theater to see what was there when the characters peered than way. And, she looked appropriately scared when Frog was alone on the forest and we all knew Old Dark Frog was going to show up. It really was amazing to watch her face. I wish I was allowed to take pictures during the play, but I wasn't so I didn't.

We found a nice Greek diner for lunch and then played at the playground across the street. We got gelato. We ran errands. We ate dinner at home.

It was a fabulous weekend. And, best of all, I revisited my to do list. And, it's never been shorter! Congratulations, mouse.


Cheers!
mouse

Ahoy Thar, Pirate Princesses

Dear Friends and Family,

We got back from our potluck dinner to find P in a light-up Cinderella dress with her magic walk-on-water Cinderella shoes on. She also had on an eye patch and a batch of necklaces. She was hunting for treasure with her friend D. It was comical to say the least. I'm going to assume she had loads of fun on her play date.

Today, we switch gears. P has her first school trip, her first new school show and share, dance lessons, nap (hopefully), and then dinner with her cousin. And, as I look at my sheet, I realize the only reason I am sane is I have my sheet to guide me and reassure me. I've got almost everything written on that sheet - my calendars, my to dos, notes I need to transcribe, packages I am expecting, everything. Without it, I think I'd feel lost. Fortunately, I have it on my computer, so I'd only really lose the current week, but if that happened I'd probably walk around for a month with a niggling feeling that I might be forgetting something. My sheet is a happy little obsession.

Well, looking at my sheet, I'd better get started with my day. Deep breath, mouse. Go.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 2: Assessing

Dear Friends and Family,

Well. This week is better than last week. But, still not feeling a groove yet. I didn't have enough time at work yesterday so I took work home which I did while Mr. mouse gave P her bath. It feels like I don't have enough time in the day to manage 17.5 hours of part time work which just feels odd, truth be told. I used to manage more than double that less than a month ago. I'm hoping it's just the ramp up to school. If, by the end of September, I still don't have time for myself to do some of my own work, I think I will have to have a hard discussion with my manager about it all.

I'm also annoyed with myself. A colleague asked me to meet him for lunch and I agreed. I wish I had today to do stuff for me, not spend time helping out a friend from over a decade ago. Still, there's a piece of me that realizes maintaining a network and keeping a calendar of outside engagements does feed a part of my soul. So, I accepted. I just wish it wasn't this week.

And, Mr. mouse and I are in a state of denial about next Tuesday. He has an early morning meeting and I do too. Normally, Tuesday is his drop-off day. I feel like he doesn't understand why I can't do drop-off. I'm part-time. He's full-time. I feel like I need to re-establish myself and prove to work that part-time work isn't me punting at the drop of a pin. I also feel like I shouldn't have to "always" work my schedule to fit his. Again, like I said, we're both in a state of denial. And, obviously, next week will not be a normal week because we have a parent meeting Monday night, dinner with another friend afterwards, and this thingamajig on Tuesday morning.

What I wouldn't give for a normal week - a week with smooth drop-offs without a bunch of extraneous hiccups, so that I have some sense of comfort that what I signed up for is manageable. I guess I'm a little scared that what I signed up for isn't manageable. Fingers crossed.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Yesterday, P tried on all of her dance gear and is now the proud owner of a leotard, tights, tap shoes and ballet shoes. And, I am the proud parent would managed Tuesday pick-up after work without a hiccup. See? Progress.

Day 1: Moderately Successful Day

Dear Friends and Family,

P had a tough drop-off on Monday morning. She cried and she cried. She told Mr. mouse she didn't want to go to school. She told me she wanted to stay at home with me. Then, she went to her teacher. And, within 15 minutes she found her happy face and enjoyed the rest of her day. P and I agreed to read a book on the bench in the morning before school. We also agreed that I would pick her up at dismissal - no extended day, at least not for now. Mr. mouse and I agreed to get P to school earlier so that she has a chance to acclimate to school before having to walk in. Let's see how the rest of this week goes.

I accomplished all sorts of little things.

I called my Dad and thanked him for the birthday card. He's convinced P should become a doctor. No, let's not see what she wants to become. No, let's not see what she may be good at. No, let's not see how professions evolve over the next 20 years. No, let's just prescribe medicine now, of course. Still, it was nice to call him.

I made dinner plans with a close friend who's in town next week on business. I packaged up a sweater for Mr. mouse to drop off in the mail. I did a load of laundry and I put it away. I loaded the dishwasher. I dialed into two calls for work. I caught up on emails. I read P two stories in the afternoon. We did sheets. We did puzzles. I downloaded the remaining pictures from P's daycare school - four videos left to go.

I didn't make any progress on my idea. And, that's okay for day 1 of my first "normal" week.


Cheers!
mouse

Resurfacing

Dear Friends and Family,

Where to begin?

Well, I'm begin with the easiest one. P. P's last day at school was Friday, August 23rd as planned. She had a good day. Mr. mouse and I went to pick her up. We got all of her things. We took lots of pictures. We gave lots of hugs. We walked out together.

We took a week off to go on a family vacation. Then, we had Monday off. P went to school for an hour with Mr. mouse and me on Tuesday for orientation. She spent the rest of Tuesday with me. She had a first full day of classes yesterday and spent the afternoon with me. She had today off. Then, she's back at school on Friday.

She had a meltdown last night about not getting enough time with Mr. mouse. I think she misses spending time with him. There's a lot of new stuff we're throwing at her. She's got new teachers, new classmates, a new building, a new food routine, a new schedule, and more time with Mom. It's a LOT to be throwing at a four-year-old.

I think, at a minimum, we'll need to give her 2-3 weeks of a regular schedule to see how she's doing. Which means the next checkpoint will be the end of September.

I won't lie, it's been a tough week. With Monday off, Tuesday for orientation, Wednesday full day, Thursday off, and Friday full day, there's no routine whatsoever to the week. On top of that, Mr. mouse has a work dinner tonight and I have Mom's night tomorrow night, and I'm probably going in to work tomorrow (more on that later) so there's really no routine whatsoever. We had a morning coffee yesterday, needed to stop by the school store for school shirts, and tomorrow's the first "wear the school colors" day for P. We had lots of discussions about P's milk (we're allowed to bring it after much wrangling). It feels like a week with no rhyme or reason.

What do I like about the new routine that'll be coming up? I won't miss traffic. I get to take the bus with P which involves a lot less thinking. I also get a mini walk in four times a day. I won't miss work (more on that later). I get a little piece of work (more on that later) and some time for myself. I'm excited for P. I hope she settles in and likes school. I'm excited to be able to spend more time with P. I'm excited that I'm starting with a blank slate and get to rewrite my life and my habit strategy. It feels like a new chapter.

What am I going to miss? I miss time in the car with P. I know, I don't miss traffic. But, I do miss the conversations we had in the car. I miss playing number squeeze challenge, singing, playing this animal, playing rhyming games, talking about people and why they do what they do, joking about chocolate chip cookie accidents, pointing out trains and cement mixers and construction and everything else we noticed on the roads, and everything else we did in the car to entertain ourselves on the way to school. P's a lot more quiet on the bus. Perhaps she'll start talking more on the bus and we'll get to enjoy that too. I miss the familiar. I miss seeing old friends at drop-off and pick-up at school. I miss my routines.

Well, today's a busy day. P and I get to finish a science experiment we started last night. And, then we may take a drive for old times sake. And, this afternoon she has dance.


Cheers!
mouse

4, Reality Beginning to Set In

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday morning of my last week at full time employment. It's a weird feeling. I've got a couple of meetings today - one with my business unit head, my official exit interview, and several with friends and colleagues. I've begun giving out hugs because it's possible I will not see people again while I am at work this week.

I'm going through the motions and reality is beginning to set in. Oddly, I don't think it'll feel real until I hand in my badge, get in my car, drive to pick up P, and come home. Sometime after that it'll feel real. Right now, it's all a little surreal. Keep in mind, when we were expecting P, it didn't feel real until the night when she was born and I was holding her in my arms, talking to her while the whole world slept. Yes, being nine months pregnant didn't feel real. So, it's hardly surprising that this doesn't feel completely real.

Either way, it's Tuesday and I have four days left at work.


Cheers!
mouse

08.19.13: 5

Dear Friends and Family,

You couldn't ask for a better weekend, minus one painful monkey wrench.

We enjoyed the wonderful weekend weather, taking P on a bike ride, enjoying dinner on the roof, and going to the beach.

The only hiccup in all of this was my ankle. I've decided that walking and daydreaming is just a bad combination for me. That's when I roll my ankle and this time I rolled it pretty bad. The giant scrape on my right knee only made it worse. And, walking to the beach afterwards didn't help. And, forgetting to take Advil didn't help. And, sleeping without a brace certainly didn't help. So, I'm in a world of hurt this morning.

Outside of that, the weekend was great. P had so much fun in the sand and in the water. I think I'll take her to play in the sand even when the weather cools down a little. I think she'll enjoy it. I hope she grows up loving the water. It was such an integral part of my childhood.

P was so solicitous yesterday. She asked repeatedly if I was okay. She offered to help me walk by holding my hand. She cried when I told her I couldn't walk to the car with her and Mr. mouse. She helped me clean my knee when we got home. She gave me lots of hugs and kisses. I'm glad she's so compassionate.

And, now, I enter my final week at work. Many, many days down, five to go.


Cheers!
mouse

6...

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, my boss asked if I would be willing to come back part time after next Friday. And, to be honest, I'm not sure.

In a way, it's the perfect blend of work and non-work. I can do four hours a day and be home before P finishes school. I know moms who would kill for that arrangement - work twenty hours a week at a nice hourly rate, be done with work by the time their kids are done with school, focus on home for the afternoon.

And, that's why I'm not disregarding it out of hand.

But, at the same time, I know if I did that, I'd be postponing work on my idea. And, I really do want to work on my idea. I realize that someone else's ideal isn't my ideal. I just want to make sure I don't regret it if I do decide to pass on the part-time opportunity.

Either way, it's Friday and I don't owe anyone a decision until Monday. Happy Friday.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: P proclaimed yesterday that if she does decide to become a mommy, she wants Mr. mouse to be the daddy. I told her he would be too old by then and then we moved on to another topic. Mr. mouse assures me this is normal - that the other likely candidates would be Prince Eric and Jim Darling. I guess it is normal.

08.12.13: 10

Dear Friends and Family,

P had lots of parent time this weekend. We spent Saturday morning together walking the neighborhood doing errands. P had the afternoon with Mr. mouse while I napped. We went to a birthday party together where P saw a working farm. Our kid is no longer deathly afraid of animals. We played school together.

Sunday, we went to church together. We went to look at ships together. We went to the park together. We painted together. We played school together.

I so enjoyed the baby years. And, the toddler years were fun. Now, I'm glad to enjoy the little kid years.

Last night, I cleared out my computer and my phone. I printed out my letter, signed it, and put it in an envelope. Today, I tell my boss. I tell my employees. And, on the way home, I tell P.

We're entering into a new phase together and I'm super excited.


Cheers!
mouse

08.06.13: Welcome to 2013

Dear Friends and Family,

We spent the weekend with our neighbors. There was much food and time to catch up. And, as always, it's a little sad to see them go. I felt like I really had a chance to talk to them this time, even if things were so busy with stuff to do. We had a chance to talk college and careers and personality types and that's not something we get to do often.

Then, Monday came and it was time to drop off presents at school. One thing I've learned is P is shy even with her old teachers. Another thing I learned is she really doesn't like little kids. I had to talk to her about her manners, we had a lot of not responsiveness when her old teachers asked her questions and a lot of fidgeting when the younger kids started crying. I guess I should try to remember she's only four. She said she'd be better about it when we go to say bye in three weeks. We'll see.

And, Monday night, I got a little gift from Mr. mouse and me. I got a new iPhone to replace my feature phone. I needed a new phone because, in three weeks, I need to turn in my work phone. Yes, it's the one thing I wanted to buy for this transition. Now, I'm off to counting again.

14 days.


Cheers!
mouse

Now What?

Dear Friends and Family,

We got back P's test results from her psycho-educational report. The evaluator had nothing but positive things to say about her. Not to brag, but here are some quotes:

• exceptionally bright young lady with a myriad of talents and abilities
• happy, gentle personality
• lengthy attention span despite her young age
• conscientious and persistent in her problem-solving efforts
• in school, P would be considered an exceptionally quick thinker
• P demonstrates exceptional cognitive abilities
• she would benefit from an educational program appropriate for highly gifted children
• consider offering P grade advancement for all or part of the day especially in reading

Now, we can order new books for P. We can glow about the report for two or three days. And then we can go back to enjoying our wonderful four-year-old who still loves to play peekaboo with Daddy.


Cheers!
mouse

Losing Our Bliss

Dear Friends and Family,

We've decided to get P tested. I'm not sure the number matters to me. But, there are programs we want to enroll her in that require testing and passing. Unlike crazy parents, we are not preparing for the test. Honestly, it's a chance to know where your kid is at. Why would I want fake results?

This Saturday we peg a number on our kid. I'm still not sure the number matters to me. But, there is a piece of me that is curious.

If she's 100, what does that mean? If she's 120, what does that mean? If she's 140, what does that mean? If she's 160, what does that mean? Do we do anything different in any of these scenarios? I'm not sure and that's why I'm not sure the number matters to me.

Saturday at 10, we go in for testing. If ignorance is bliss, we'll be a little less blissful after we find out whatever there is to know.


Cheers!
mouse

I'm All Alone

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night, during bath, P had a very sad moment. It started with water in her mouth and then went to something about her knee and then went to someone hitting her at school and then went to the root cause of her sadness, she misses her teacher who left in June and her best friend who also left in June. She says she is all alone. Most of the kids have paired up and she is bereft without her pair.

It really broke my heart to hear her. I was a lonely kid at school. From 4th to 6th grade, I had one close friend at school. I would have been crushed if she moved. And 7th and 8th grade, when my parents moved me, I had two close friends. I'm still friends with them, mostly through Facebook. Again, I would have been crushed if either of them moved.

So, I feel really bad for P. I'm going to talk to her this morning and also call the teachers this afternoon. I want P to end her four years at school on a high note, not remember her school for the place she was lonely.


Cheers!
mouse

07.08.13: Staycation 2013

Dear Friends and Family,

In the end, we decided to stay at home for the four day weekend. And, I had so much fun, I'm glad we did.

Thursday, we decided to take P to the carnival. There's something about it. Maybe it's growing up near the beach and the broad walk as a kid and remembering going to the ride the rides. Maybe it's high school trips with friends. Maybe it's childhood trips with my grandfather. I like going. And, I'm glad P likes going.

We bought an all you can ride bracelet for $50 that was good for four days. P rode close to 50 rides between our trip on Thursday and our return visit on Saturday, if not more, so it was well worth the initial outlay. We finished with a family ride on the carousel. P also won a mini rocket launcher and a yellow dolphin.

Friday, P rode her scooter and went to the park with Mr. mouse. Apparently she went splashing in the fountains and came home dripping wet. She's so much fun.

In the afternoon, we went to another festival. This one was to watch the hot air balloons, which did not launch. The balloon glow was fun and the fireworks couldn't have been closer. The funniest part of it all? We decided to get a wagon to haul the lawn chairs. And, in the process, we learned that P is something of a wagon connoisseur asking about shade covers and other features before we bought the wagon. She was giddy riding in it on the way back to the car, offering to hold the picnic blanket on her lap to do her part in carrying stuff. Moments like these are what make it worth it to have a kid.

Saturday night, after the carnival, we went to a birthday party for one of P's friends. She had a blast going down the slide and riding the paddle boats. She's a natural with the boats. We had fun catching up with other parents and eating fried chicken. Yum.

Sunday, we weren't firing on all cylinders on Sunday. We skipped church. We went to the wrong restaurant for the race. When we went to the right restaurant, we were late so we didn't get to eat. And, then we headed out to the ball game. Fortunately, things seemed to be going better. We enjoyed a good game and P made it home awake.

We had some hiccups Sunday night in discussing our wills and stuff. But, I refuse to let that mar what would have been a perfect end to a wonderful weekend with Mr. mouse and P.

In fact, I'll skip ahead to going to bed. We found a mountain of stuffed animals on the bed when we went upstairs to our room. Apparently P had hidden them all there to keep them safe from ghosts. That explains the empty bins in her room. Too funny.


Cheers!
mouse

P and Her Rocks

Dear Friends and Family,

Want to hear about classic over thinking?

P picks up lots of rocks at school and gives them to Mr. mouse and me as presents. She says the most endearing things when she gives them to us. "Mommy, this is a special present just for you because I love you so much," would be a typical phrase that accompanies a small rock from her playground.

If it's the thought that counts, each rock is worth more than winning the lottery. It's a token of love from my one and only daughter.

Or, it may that P is play acting just like she is play acting when she pretends to be an astronaut or a firefighter.

Or, it may be that P doesn't have any other gifts she can give. She doesn't have money to buy gifts. Is stealing rocks from the playground acceptable? Or does that just lead to stealing in general? Is it really stealing if she knows that the majority of rocks go in a plastic bag and go back to school once we have too many of them at home?

See? Over thinking.

I will save some of the rocks with the quotes that accompanied them. I will assume that the sentiment is sometimes real and sometimes play acting. I will return most of the rocks to school so the children will have more rocks to gift next summer. I will assume this does not lead to stealing in general. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, I will continue to savor each gift as if I won the lottery, because in a sense I did.

I have a small window of time to enjoy a very precious love - at some point P will not be as generous with her hugs and kisses and gifts. I'm glad she still is, for now.


Cheers!
mouse

06.24.13: Summer Days

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a most wonderful weekend.

Friday, we went to get mail. And, there was a package for P. It was a scooter from her grandparents. So, even if it was late when we got home, we let her put on her helmet and scoot around the courtyard a little bit before going to sleep.

Saturday, P took her scooter (with Mr. mouse) to get bagels for breakfast. Then, after setting up a USB drive to backup our data, we set off for the carnival.

P was so excited to see all of the rides. She watched the ferris wheel. She watched several of the grown up rides. There was the one that's shaped like a boat and swings pendulum style. There was the one that's like cars going out a wavy centrifuge. There was the one where you get in a cage and they spin you vertically.

She watched the kid rides. There was a relatively mild train ride. We asked her if she wanted to ride it and she said yes. Mr. mouse bought $20 worth of tickets. The rides were about $3 each.

She got on the train ride and watched and waved and smiled. We were so proud. Then, she got on the carousel. I went on with her. When the horse started moving, she asked me to let go of her so she could ride alone. Okay.

Then there was the ride like Dumbo's ride at Disney. And, she rode it without a hitch. Then there was the ride with cars where the cars fling out at the corners. And, she rode it without a hitch. Then there was the ride with hot air balloons where you spin as you ride in the air. And, she rode it without a hitch.

We bought 5 more tickets and I took P on the ferris wheel. And, then, she asked to ride more rides. We were so impressed we bought 9 more tickets and told her she could ride three more rides. She re-rode the Dumbo ride, the hot air balloon ride and the carousel. The funny thing was, she wanted to ride one of the grown up rides, but we told her she wasn't tall enough, so she picked the carousel for her last ride.

Then, she watched the games and asked if she could play one. We ponied up $6 for her to play a guaranteed win game where she had to fish for sharks. When she won, she wanted the sword which we vetoed. She picked a blue monkey instead. And, that, my friends, was our first carnival adventure with P. I went to the amusement park a lot growing up so it was extra special for me to see P enjoy it so much.

On our way home, she asked if we could go again on Sunday. We told her maybe next weekend, but not two days in a row. Sounds like P enjoyed it as much as I did.


Cheers!
mouse

Highlight for the Week? Visit with the School Nurse on Thursday

Dear Friends and Family,

We've got a visit with the school nurse on Thursday to talk about P's health before she enters school in the fall. I wish the school allowed us to pack our own lunch. But, for some odd reason, they don't. It's school lunch for all of the kids.

On the one hand, it'll give P chance to eat things she wouldn't normally eat at home which might be a good thing. But, on the other hand, some of it might not be as healthy. Plus, I'm afraid of how the transition will go. What if she hates the lunch and begins to hate the school because of it?

She's got a lot of change coming up. We'll have to work through all of it with her. Hopefully she enjoys it.


Cheers!
mouse

05.13.13: Happy Birthday, P!

Dear Friends and Family,

Saturday was the big day - P's fourth birthday party. And, while there were a couple of moments when I thought it was going to fall apart, overall, it went without a hitch. Kids were entertained. Parents were entertained. Everyone was fed. Cake was eaten. Venue was paid.

Having a station wagon was nice. Having my mom here to help was even nicer. P was super excited about turning four. I was a little sad to see my three-year-old turn four, but I put on a brave face for her. It's just that I don't want to wake up one day and wonder where the years have gone.

Sunday I went to church with my mom. We went out for pizza afterwards. And, then we stopped by a church for some quick pictures and a park to let P run around. By two o'clock we were home and I slept for four hours. It felt so good to sleep.

Mr. mouse cooked dinner. We did hand and foot prints for P. And, wrapped up the evening reading stories in bed. All in all, a great weekend.

Now that that's all behind us, time to focus. Time to get cracking on the legal stuff. First off, I need to compile a list of what I need. Then we need to find a lawyer. Time to get cracking.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: I twisted my ankle last night, but that's just between you and me.

May the Birthday Celebrations Begin!

Dear Friends and Family,

My mom arrives today. And, if I make it through today and tomorrow, the work week is behind me. Teacher Appreciation cards are filled out, warm and fuzzies are made.

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas birthday everywhere I go...

And, if I make it through today and tomorrow, I'll be down to 13 weeks of work. Hurray!


Cheers!
mouse

Independent P

Dear Friends and Family,

I remember those moments fondly. When P was a baby and she saw me at pick up, her entire face would light up and she'd start crawling as quickly as she could to me. When P was a toddler and she saw me at pick up, her entire face would light up and we'd run into each other's arms. Now when P sees me at pick up, she acknowledges me and keeps playing.

Yesterday, she asked to go out and write her name by herself. She asks me not to look at her. She hides under her blanket to play on the way home. She tells Mr. mouse to leave that she can go to sleep on her own. Somewhere in the last few months, our constant playmate decided she sometimes likes playing alone.

I guess P is growing up. She's also beginning to skip naps which leads to her falling asleep on the way home. And, she doesn't like stories at school anymore, just a hug and a kiss and a wave goodbye.

I'll miss those moments, but I guess it's a part of growing up and we should respect her wishes.


Cheers!
mouse