Little Lightbulb Moments: Free, at Last

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, they cancelled my program.

The two people who were supposed to champion it got together and cancelled it. I'm being re-purposed to a new project. Lovely. I'm going to miss working with the people I worked with over the last year. But, I'm not as sad as I thought I'd be.

I had a talk with my former boss (the one I had for about a month after my old boss left) about a month ago. I told him I didn't hold any of the past changes against him. I told him I enjoyed my project. I told him with a raise, I would be motivated to stay another year. He was thrilled to hear that and assigned me to a new boss (just this past week) who apparently must have begun pouring poison into his ear about my project because now it's cancelled and my new boss had a wonderful new resource freed up to work on his other projects.

Why am I not as sad as I thought I'd be?

Well, it shows me the nature of my new boss.

And, it shows me how willing my former boss (the one I had for about a month after my old boss left) is to inject volatility back into my life (since apparently I told him I didn't hold old abuse against him) which means he wasn't all that sorry for the past changes. He was just saying so, so I feel like it shows me the nature of my former boss.

I'm not working on my project which is sad. We're killing it. I'll miss the teams I work with. I'll be leaving my business partners in a lurch. I'll miss driving the results we had been driving. This makes me sad.

I may or may not get the raise I've been promised.

So, why am I not as sad as I thought I'd be?

I'm free to leave. Before, if they got me the raise, I was committed to a year at work. Now, since the reneged on part of the bargain, I'm free to leave, raise or no raise.

I'm in the process of signing up my first customers and in the process of hiring my first employee. It all seems so fragile right now, but I guess all businesses start somewhere.

Next week, I'm going to take some time off to think. And, the week after I'm going to plow through school stuff. And, we begin getting notices in early March for P's school. And, in all this, I'm free to leave.

Perhaps I'm ready to jump into the pool. I hope the water's nice.


Cheers!
mouse