Retiring the Green Pillow

Dear Friends and Family,

Didn't have time to write yesterday.

After months on non-use, we retired P's green pillow. It was her nursing pillow when she was a newborn. Now, she's smart enough to curl up next to me and to roll over when she's ready to switch sides.

Hurtling towards toddlerhood.


Cheers!
mouse

Bending the Productivity Curve

Dear Friends and Family,

My analyst finally started. And, I have a borrowed analyst from another team. My productivity has tripled! It makes me feel a little punch drunk.

And, since P's 10 months old now, I'm beginning to wind down another pumping session at work which frees up another 12.5% of my day.

I feel like the sky's the limit.


Cheers!
mouse

Home Alone II

Dear Friends and Family,

Made it through the night last night in one piece. P was super tired last night. I was tempted to let her sleep after feeding her, but I woke her and brought her downstairs. She had some chicken, some O's, some bread and some sweet potatoes for dinner.

Then, it was eye rubbing central so I took her upstairs to her room. She stood around in her crib for a little bit. I held her for a little bit. And, then she fell asleep for the night.

Hope this morning goes as smoothly as yesterday morning did.


Cheers!
mouse

Home Alone

Dear Friends and Family,

We made it almost ten months before encountering... the overnight business trip.

Mr. mouse left last night for work. He'll be back Wednesday which means I have tonight and tomorrow morning alone with P. I've got my fingers crossed that I make it out of the house in one piece for the day today.

Originally, I was supposed to have last night alone with P. But, Mr. mouse took a late flight. Strangely, there's a world of a difference between 1 night/2 days and 2 nights/2 days.

I'm glad he was able to see P last night.


Cheers!
mouse

03.08.10: Third Times the Charm

Dear Friends and Family,

We have a standing tradition of getting together with Mr. mouse's college roommate to celebrate their joint birthdays. Except, last year, when Mr. mouse's roommate's kids got sick. We rescheduled for a couple of weeks out. And, then my grandmother passed away. So, we rescheduled for a couple of months out. And, the third times the charm. They came over for the weekend this past weekend.

Friday afternoon, I got a call from school, P had broken out in something - red dots all over her body. I was like, "you've got to be kidding me, we must be cursed." But, the doctor gave the okay and an allergist referral, clearing the way for our weekend visitors.

Friday. Airport. Dinner. Play. Sleep.

Saturday. Bagels. Zoo. Pizza. Naps. Dinner. Play. Sleep.

Sunday. Bagels. Park. Lunch. Aquarium. Airport.

P loved playing with her two new friends. The adults got a kick out of watching the daughter feed P her O's. And, we got a kick out of watching the big kids squish themselves into the makeshift car P has. Oh, and, yes, the Flex rocks for transporting a crew and a quarter around time.

P had her ninth month appointment on Sunday. In addition to holding off on eggs and shellfish, yogurt is also now on hold. Want a good laugh? head: >50th percentile, height: 25th percentile, weight: <5th percentile. She may look like her father, but her proportions are all from her mother.

And, last but not least, the next couple of days are going to be hectic. So, I may, or may not, make it on to post. If I don't, I should resurface by Thursday.


Cheers!
mouse

"Guys"

Dear Friends and Family,

How much we evolve...

I remember the first time a colleague objected to the use of the generic "guys" to refer to both men and women in a gender neutral use case. And, I thought they were a bunch of crock.

Somewhere along the line I realized they were right.

And, now, when I'm in a group and someone refers to us all as guys, I'm like hello. Um, not quite.

If you don't manage it, it manages you. Happy Thursday!


Cheers!
mouse

Reading to P

Dear Friends and Family,

Back before P was mobile, she loved reading books together. We'd lie on our backs on the bed and she would watch while I read. Or, I'd sit her in my lap and she would watch while I read. Then, as she got older, we'd lie on our stomachs or she'd sit in my lap and I'd read while she babbled.

Now. Well, if she's being clingy, reading to P is the best way to get her off of my lap and crawling away to explore. Last night, I was crawling around the room, holding the book in front of her to try to read to her. Mr. mouse tried an abbreviated story that he makes up from the pictures. But, that didn't work either. He was crawling around the room, holding the book in front of her to try to make up a story for her.

So, if she doesn't get into a respectable college, it's not for lack of trying on our part to provide mental stimulation. Perhaps she'll get more interested once she's older. In the mean time, we'll continue our crawling book time escapades.


Cheers!
mouse

Sleep Training

Dear Friends and Family,

P's been waking at night for a couple of nights in a row now.

She's been a great sleeper so we've never thought about sleep training. We always assumed she was hungry, fed her and then let her go back to sleep. Now, I wonder if we should continue with that routine.

It could be she's getting over a cold. It could be teeth coming in. It could be she's just got us figured out.

Lovely, we've been reduced to mind games with a nine month old.


Cheers!
mouse

03.01.10: Skipped Trip

Dear Friends and Family,

Another weekend, another cancelled trip. We had grand plans to visit my college roommate and her new one month old. Then, P came down with a cold, compliments of daycare. And, we figured we'd spare the newborn and stay at home.

Saturday was a quiet day of playing with P while Mr. mouse went on an errand run. We went out for dinner and it turns out we saved the best (of our Restaurant Week) for last. Mr. mouse loved his duck confit and his hangar steak. And, I could not get enough of my braised short rib or my rack of lamb. Delicious.

Sunday was another quiet day. P had her first serious fall. She was reaching for a toy on the coffee table, got excited, lost her balance, and fell backward. At first we thought it was just a fall. Then, we noticed the mouth full of blood. We cleaned it up and she seemed fine, but, she scared us for the rest of the day. Nothing like seeing a river of blood coming out of your kid's mouth to make you feel like an inadequate parent.

And, now it's Monday. And, through a unfortunate series of events P's off to daycare and I'm off to work and Mr. mouse is on vacation.


Cheers!
mouse

Friday! The 26th?

Dear Friends and Family,

I cannot tell you how glad I am that it's Friday. And, how confused I am that it is the end of February. How did that happen?

Time to go get ready for work. Then, the weekend!


Cheers!
mouse

Birthday Party Planning

Dear Friends and Family,

Would you believe it if I said I was beginning to think through birthday party ideas for P? She's nine and a half months old - which means we have about 10 weeks. I know 10 weeks sounds like a long time, but once you factor in a couple of weekends for travel, a weekend for taxes, a weekend or two for mouse pad work. And, the fact that some people may want to travel in (e.g. the grandparents)... Then you realize that we're probably behind, not ahead.

Last night, when Mr. mouse was holding her, I was reminded of how much she has grown. When she was a newborn she was this little ball with her head on his shoulder and her body tucked neatly into his arm. Now, she sprawls with her head over his shoulder and her legs dangling below his arm, across his torso. Our little P (still not quite 5 percentile) is not so little anymore.


Cheers!
mouse

Climbing Baby

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night, P decided she would climb up on top of her toy box to reach the top of the coffee table. Um. time to:

1. clear off the coffee table
2. move the toy box

It's going to be a roller coaster ride to the one year point.


Cheers!
mouse

Cycle of Motivation

Dear Friends and Family,

A concept I learned a long time ago just popped in my head and I need to ponder it today. Motivation:

1. I understand what is expected of me
2. I can achieve what is expected of me
3. My achievement can be measured
4. My achievement will be measured
5. My achievement will be rewarded
6. The reward is something I want
7. There aren't negative network externalities to getting my reward

Now, how to apply it to work? I think it's a matter of explaining the concept to the people I work with and then putting it into practice. Okay. That'll work.


Cheers!
mouse

02.22.10: Skipped Trip

Dear Friends and Family,

We thought about going to the Motor City to see our friends off. They're moving to Virginia with a new job. But, with P out two days last week from school on the Carousel of Stomach Viruses, we decided to stay home for the weekend and focus on getting her better and on putting some meat on her bones.

Oh, and because we made reservations early in the process, Friday night, we went out for Restaurant Week - Naha. Saturday lunch, we went out for Restaurant Week - Mercat a la Planxa. And, Sunday, we went out for Restaurant Week - Takashi.

In between all of the eating, we got a lot of errands and some work done. P seems to be doing fine. Let's hope she can make it through the whole week at school.

Speaking of P, we'd been feeding her bits and pieces of table food. Sometimes she'd chew her way through it, sometimes, she'd gag and grimace and swallow. But, this week, she finally figured it out. She's become a table food pro - chomping her way through cereal and bits and pieces of whatever we're eating. Yeah for P!

Now, onto art project with the markers and finger paint we bought for her.


Cheers!
mouse

When P Tries Her Best

Dear Friends and Family,

Sometimes I let P try to do things on her own to see how she manages. And, it's so cute it makes me laugh until I almost cry.

One time I put some food on her tray, but it was before she really figured out how to get it to her mouth using her fingers. So, she opened wide, leaned forward and tried to get at it whole body, except the safety belts on her seat didn't let her lean forward that far. She was watching me as I was watching her to see if her actions were meeting my expectations. My little P.

Last night, I was curious if she could get into nursing position on her own. First, she just looked at me and cried. Then, on the second side, when she was less famished, she leaned forward until she fell on her stomach, perched up mini cobra style and tried to latch on. Mouth open the whole time, watching me watching her. I laughed as I curled her on her side and tucked her in close to me. My little P.

She's growing so quickly (or let me rephrase, learning so many things so quickly, she's still a tiny baby) it's heartening to have those cute baby moments to realize we still have baby time left to enjoy.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: For dinner, we had pasta with tomato sauce and tuna - all three of us.

How Does This All Work?

Dear Friends and Family,

Sometimes you read a book and you finish and you move on to the next book. And, sometimes you read a book and you finish and you realize you've learned something new and the book has changed you, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.

I recently finished Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting by in America. I have to say it opened my eyes to a world I always knew existed but hadn't thought too hard about, at least not recently.

I grew up in a working class family. Through the middle of fourth grade we lived on the "wrong side of the tracks" and used a friend of the family's address to enroll in the "better" elementary school instead of the one I was zoned for. But, my parents worked hard and my siblings and I studied hard and today we're all better off than we were then. It's the classic immigrants' tale.

But, today, I think it'd be different. I'm not sure, if we had to do it all again, in today's world, that we could. It seems so much harder with more forces moving against you. Without class mobility (aka hope) how does this all work?

Also, when other countries offer universal health coverage and a more structured retirement funding mechanism and we don't, does it become a comparative disadvantage in the competitiveness of US companies and our business models? Especially in an age of the service economy? (not to switch gears on you here, but I think I just did) Again, how does this all work?

And, while I'm on my soap box I might as well rant like a crazy lady. Mr. mouse and I were having a conversation the other night and I asked... do you think the average American realizes that when they buy something that says Made in China on the box they may have saved a few bucks, but in the process, by aggravating an already problematic trade gap and enabling the Chinese to buy more US debt, we're essentially mortgaging our future and giving up some level of control of our destiny and some level of power over our future options? And, Mr. mouse said, mouse, no, the average American doesn't, in fact, most "above average" Americans don't.

And, I sighed. And, I wondered, how does this all work?

Now that I've got all that off my chest, I feel better. Don't you?


Cheers!
mouse

Wednesday, Better than Tuesday

Dear Friends and Family,

If misery loves company, I had enough yesterday to have a whole party unto myself.

Woke up late because P slept in. Had a plugged duct. Mr. mouse left before I could get my ONE email off. Struggled with a sick baby all morning while dueling off the multiple foes of hunger, dizziness, weakness, and cold. Plugged up the toilet. Got into fight #2 or 3 or 4 with Mr. mouse. Got the chills. Ran a fever. And, fell asleep exhausted on the floor.

Yes. That was my day yesterday. Today looks like an average day. I'll take average over yesterday any day.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Giving up for Lent - anything I wouldn't have eaten regularly while on Weight Watchers.

02.15.10: Inglorious Trifecta

Dear Friends and Family,

President's Day, Valentine's Day, Lunar New Year -

vomiting, dehydration, diarrhea -

Not sure if it was the cafeteria sushi from Friday lunch, or leftovers from Friday dinner, or something making its way around daycare, but I woke up Saturday morning and threw up and threw up and threw up... my dinner, the water I drank, the juice Mr. mouse offered... everything. Wow, it doesn't get much better than this.

Except, feeling mostly better Sunday night, and craving Chinese food after a day and a half of bland carbs, I cornered Mr. mouse into going out to celebrate P's first lunar new year. And, I got sick again. Only, this time, it was diarrhea. What an excellent start and end to what was supposed to be a weekend chock a block full of chores.

Well, if nothing else, I'm caught up on rest.


Cheers!
mouse

Beginning Another Wind Down Session

Dear Friends and Family,

For those of you not actively breastfeeding (i.e. all of you), you must get inanely bored by my writing about my schedules. But, it's on my mind, so I write about it.

I want to make it to the one year mark. After P's first birthday, I plan on transitioning her to whole milk for the daytime and continuing to nurse for her morning and evening feedings. I'll transition those more slowly once both P and I are ready.

With three months left to go, I'm in a constant state of 'oh no I may run out' and simultaneously 'oh no the stockpile in the freezer is out of control'. Yes, that's my life. Add to that the 'how do I slowly decrease the pumping times so it's manageable' and it's enough to drive any manufacturing engineer slightly up the wall.

All that being said, I've decided to take the brave step of taking six minutes out of my 2pm pumping session. Yes, folks, that's what this is all about. Six minutes. Six minutes that I can always add back in at the end of the week if I am not happy with the results.

We'll see how the week goes. Twelve more weeks to go which is going to fly.


Cheers!
mouse

9 Month Old

Dear Friends and Family,

It's a sure sign the days and months are flowing together when you don't realize it's your daughter's "birthday" today. I have a feeling I'm going to get the call from school today. She's been fussy. And, last night she was warm - not feverish, but warm. Perhaps it's more teeth coming in.

I wish babyhood could last another year, but, sadly, P's racing to toddlerhood. She's not baby shaped anymore. She's toddler shaped with that long, stretched out body and sturdy limbs and flat hands and purposeful legs and feet. I remember thinking when P was born that she didn't look finished - like she had spent a lot of time getting her head right and as you moved on down the body she looked less and less complete - like her bottom half was a rush job, complete enough to be born, but nothing to brag about - a low pass, so to speak. Now, she looks complete and finished and her bottom half doesn't look as half baked like it was an after thought. Also, needless to say, the cutest, if not the tiniest, baby butt cheeks. Butt cheeks only a mother could love.

So, sometime over the next three months, we'll begin the transitions to sippy cup/regular cup, table food and weaning off of the pacifier.

Wish us luck.


Cheers!
mouse

Managing and Measuring

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry. I spent the morning staring at a spreadsheet again. You must wonder what this spreadsheet must have on it to keep me so endlessly amused.

I started last June when P had a "bad" weigh-in at the doctor's office. (Note: I'm convinced it was the scale and not the baby that was the issue.) Nonetheless, at the time, I started a sheet to track her growth. And, when I got ready to go back to work I added a sheet to track the milk inventory. And, with P growing older, and the weeks ahead of me becoming more clearly defined, I've begun actively managing the process to her first birthday and the "official" end of my duties as the milkerator.

I'm still not 100% convinced I can make it to the one year point. And, that's why I track and measure and play out the scenarios. Fingers crossed.


Cheers!
mouse

Top 3 Update

Dear Friends and Family,

Time to reassess the priorities.

One and two are easy - P and work.

Three. Hmmm... There's mouse pad renovations. There's finding a new financial planner. There's buying a new car.

So many choices, so little time. I think I should pick mouse pad renovations. When spring showers bring out our buckets, I'm going to be glad I picked this one. From a planning perspective - I'm thinking March 13th for the deck door and March 20th or 27th for the bay window which means we have this weekend and next to go shopping for a new door.

Okay. I'm motivated.


Cheers!
mouse

02.08.10: City by the Bay

Dear Friends and Family,

On a whim, we decided to head out to San Francisco for the weekend. The original idea was to go somewhere since P just got her passport. Then, looking at flights and schedules and everything, we ended up taking her to the West Coast for the first time.

Between the airport (aka the plane station), the flights, the car, and the general movement, P had a lot of car seat time. But, we got to see M + M and their new baby. And, we got to see my friends from school and their two girls. And, we had dinner with B and Chef M and B's parents and all of their friends.

It whirlwind. It was fun.

This upcoming weekend is going to be packed with errands and clean up and capturing the nine month milestones.


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse Pad Updates

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse and I were talking about what we want/need to do on the house this year. And, since we'll have incremental free cash flow in a couple of months from paying off some debt, we figured now was as good a time as any to start planning.

On the docket:

1. new door to the deck - stop the leaks
2. seal the bay window - stop the leaks
3. remove deck, reseal roof, new deck - stop the leaks
4. new front door
5. new garage door

I'm pretty sure we won't make it all the way down the list from both a money and a time perspective, but we'll start from the top and go from there.

It feels good to begin thinking about home improvements. There's nothing more relaxing than a house that's put together and maintained and organized. It makes me feel calm and alive at the same time.


Cheers!
mouse

Fiddle Faddle

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry, spent the whole morning fiddling with some formulas on a spreadsheet, leaving me no time for my blog entry. Less than 100 days until P's birthday (WOW) and with the low production I wanted to see if I would make it to the one year mark. Looks like I'll be able to, if I continue at my current run rate.


Cheers!
mouse

Working Women

Dear Friends and Family,

This is a hard post to write because you can dance around a bunch of issues, but I'm going to attempt to write it anyway.

My first job out of school was a technical job. And, as an Asian female, I was quickly in the minority. It was an amusing and a sad commentary on the state of affairs, but reality nonetheless - 4% of the overall population, split evenly between the sexes leaves me at 2% of the population, although, oddly, the Asian males felt overrepresented at more than 2% of my work world. It didn't phase me, I was just another cog in the great machine doing my piece to keep it all going.

Coming out of grad school, I was still an Asian female in a world where the Asian female population was still 2%. And, today, I am still an Asian female in a world where the Asian female population is still 2%.

So, what's changed?

My most recent job change last fall has put me in a world dominated by older, Caucasian men. A world in which I am their peer and colleague. I don't feel any discrimination. I don't feel any hostility. I don't feel any old boy's network working against me. But, it's still weird.

I feel like some of the younger, more junior women I work with look to me as a role model - as a possibility. If mouse can do it, so can I - which puts some pressure on me to be a role model which raises my bar on my expectations of myself.

Then, there's the stupid stuff. We have a weekly departmental meeting where all of the leads sit together at the head of the table and everyone else sits wherever they want. I'm not a big fan of that and I've always sat wherever I felt like. But, I recall a series of lectures I went to where they discussed how women give away power without realizing it. And, I realized by not taking my spot at the head of the table, I was subtly diminishing my role and me. So, yesterday, at the departmental meeting, I sat at the head of the table with my colleagues.

It felt weird. But, I don't think anyone thought anything of it, besides me. See, it's stuff - big stuff and stupid stuff, but stuff nonetheless. I'm glad I had the chance to attend the lecture series. Otherwise, I may have been blissfully unaware that actions and inactions can be interpreted so many different ways by others.


Cheers!
mouse

Google vs. User Generated Content

Dear Friends and Family,

My folks are headed to Korea for a couple of weeks and needed a recommendation on a place to stay. Since we had gone with our neighbors, we knew of a hotel, we just needed the details on name and number. The race was on.

Mr. mouse started with Google and then email archives. I started with flickr (our set and our neighbors' set) and then Blogger and I was getting ready to IM our neighbor on FB when Mr. mouse found it. Turns out it was in our neighbors' photo set, I just missed it in the thumbnails view.

But, my faith in user generated content is renewed. It'll trump Google anytime specific, personal information is needed. My faith in myself, well, it just confirms I'm better at high level strategy and Mr. mouse is better at detailed, focused execution.


Cheers!
mouse

02.01.10: Experimental Days

Dear Friends and Family,

Where do the days go? Well, if you have a soon to be nine month old at home it turns to food. We've been playing with new foods all weekend. Friday night, P had fried rice with a little bit of assist from Mr. mouse. Saturday, we tried more bagel. And, on Sunday, we tried Stage 3 oatmeal (which I am tempted to bake into a cookie), pan fried turbot, more bagel (which she collected in her mouth into a giant wad and spit out), and puffed rice.

Other than that, I napped a lot this weekend to try an increase milk production. And, we got our eyes examined (I don't know why I bother with glasses). And, we took a useless trip to the mall to exchange some stuff - absolute bust. And, we stocked up on food for P. And, I did some work. And, we watched the Grammy Awards. And, there went the weekend.

Oh, Saturday, we took P into the big tub. We've done it a couple times before, but she was never a big fan. This time, she got through it and actually did okay. We may be onto something here. Purple fish and starfish may be our new best friends.

And, in the interest of maintaining my sanity, I'm trying a new bottle size for P - five ounces. Ideally, she'd stay on 5.5 ounces through this week. Why do I drive myself crazy with this stuff? I guess I just want to make it to the one year point.

Time to go wake P. Happy Monday.


Cheers!
mouse

Lark

Dear Friends and Family,

I started thinking about creating a second blog yesterday - one on a topic I'm learning about, one in which I use my real identity, one in which I allow monetization, one that'll be single topic and my thoughts on that topic alone, one where I don't really write about me, I write about it. I wonder where it will lead, if it'll lead anywhere at all.

We'll see if I even write a single post since I'm a little short on time nowadays.


Cheers!
mouse

Frugal Mom: Crib Mattress

Dear Friends and Family,

Okay. So, if you need a crib, it follows, you need a mattress. Lots of options here as well. We opted to go for value over dirt cheap in this category for no good reason other than we splurged on our mattress and love it and figured P deserved no less.

We opted for the Naturepedic No Compromise Organic Cotton Ultra Organic Baby Crib Mattress with

• dual firmness
• seamless design
• premium organic waterproof cover
• organic cotton filling
• orthopedic innerspring
• starts at $359

Our math said if she used it for 3 years, it would be about $0.33 per night which was how we justified it. Also, for the first three months, all they do is sleep and eat so we wanted to go organic since you're only a newborn once in your life.


All in, with the crib, we were out $500, and that, is still frugal.


Cheers!
mouse

Eating, Again

Dear Friends and Family,

After almost two weeks of no interest in food, P is eating again. Guess it was the ear infection and cold that were making her temperamental. We were afraid it was ye olde reflux rearing its ugly head again.

Once your kid has reflux, until you're sure it's gone, it becomes the nasty doubt in the back of your head. Is it a cold or reflux? Is it teething or reflux? Is it bad day or reflux? Is it allergies or reflux? Is it tired or reflux? Is it separation anxiety or reflux? Is it stranger anxiety or reflux? Is it spit up or reflux? Are the fewer, shorter naps normal? Or is it the reflux?

I've been slowing weaning P off of her Zantac. When we went from full dosage to zero cold turkey, it wasn't pretty. So, I've been lowering her dosage by 0.3 ml a day every week. Currently she's on 0.6 ml in the mornings and 0.3 ml in the evening. Next week, as long as she seems fine, I'll reduce it to 0.3 ml in the mornings and evenings.

Now that she's eating again, I am less anxious. We were debating giving her the full dose when she decided food wasn't her thing anymore. Guess it was the ear infection and not reflux, this time.


Cheers!
mouse

01.25.10: Meh

Dear Friends and Family,

Feeling better than Friday, but still not fully recovered.

Came home Friday feeling like I was coming apart at the seams - headache, stuffy nose, dizzy, nauseous, bad ankle, bad wrist, bad tooth, can the list get any longer? oh, and tired.

P was sleeping when Mr. mouse got home, so we sat in his car talking for a bit while she slept before heading out for dinner. We went for Indian, figuring it was one of a handful of dishes I had a hope of tasting. The most annoying thing happened en route to the restaurant...

We parked the car. P woke up. So, I decided to feed her in the car before heading into the restaurant. A car pulls up next to us and I wave him on. Well, the #$%@! car pulls up I kid you not like three more times to check if we'd left yet. Hey, @$$hole, give it up and find another spot. Okay? I'm breastfeeding my kid here and you're driving me crazy. And, when I'm done, we're gonna leave the car here for a couple of hours and go out to dinner. Amateur Night at the Improv.

Deep breath.

Saturday, Mr. mouse let me sleep in, playing with P while I caught a bunch of extra z's. We spent Saturday organizing the house. Then, we got bit by a bug and decided to take P to get her passport. We took a bunch of pictures in front of a white door, picked one with a huge grin and two teeth showing figuring the passport agent wouldn't be a huge stickler on the "no smile rule" since she's an eight month old. And, headed over to the post office. As we expected, it was a case of P and two unicorns. P enchanted her agent and the picture was submitted. We had a back up one with a more serious face, but it wasn't nearly as fun.

We finished out the evening with some Christmas gift exchanges that drove Mr. mouse through the roof. Amateur Night at the Improv II.

Sunday, P had tub time in the morning. Then, we spent the day installing the rest of our gates and going through our paperwork to file. Mr. mouse put up a big picture of the three of us from Halloween in the park. I love it.

P started really verbalizing this weekend. She's always made a lot of sounds, but now it sounds like full sentences, paragraphs even, except in baby talk. She also has gotten pretty good at cruising along her gate - pulling herself upright and walking the perimeter. She holds her own bottle now, although she still needs a little assist. And, she's a pro at the latch on thing - getting herself into position and opening wide. But, the most exciting thing to report, is a tiny syllable she's been making for awhile now, but beginning to use more purposefully - Meh...

I may be imaging it, but I think that's P's way of saying Mommy. I'm not sure yet, but there have been a couple of times now... I love it nonetheless.


Cheers!
mouse

TGIF -

Dear Friends and Family,

I have either swine flu or bird flu or SARS. I'm going with retro trendy SARS. I've been coughing and sneezing and runny nosed and headache and tired all week. Wait a sec! I've got whatever P had last week. Sigh.

P's been in and out of daycare all of January. She hasn't had a full week since sometime in December. Mr. mouse and I have been trading off taking time off with her. Really, this week I should have since I'm sick as well. But, it's so hectic at work I've been bringing it in with me. I'm sure my colleagues love me for it.

This weekend will be a good time to get some rest and hopefully throw this cold - that and to convince Mr. mouse to bring the tables down from the party to the basement. He LOVES the horizontal surfaces. They drive me crazy. We aren't going to come to consensus on this one. They're going or I'm losing it.

Okay. Happy Friday. And, in twelve more hours it'll be the weekend and I can curl up with P and a cup of tea.


Cheers!
mouse

Frugal Mom: Crib

Dear Friends and Family,

After facing the bewildering array of "stuff" that everyone claims is "essential" when you have a baby, I've decided to post my own views on it all. There's so much "stuff" and you use it for such a short period of time. It borders on ridiculous. It's bad for the environment. It's hard on the wallet. It does not prove you love your newborn any more or less than the person who spends like there's no tomorrow. Because there is a tomorrow. And, guess what, that money can go into the brand spanking new college fund you'll be starting.

Okay. The crib. I'd put it in the bucket of "stuff you absolutely need." But, the simpler the better. I don't need a crib that's going to convert into a toddler bed and then into a day bed and then into a headboard for a full sized bed. That's just a little too much transformers acrobatics for me. I figure there's baby furniture that I'll use for two years. Then, there's toddler furniture that's good for another 4 years. And, then, I'll splurge on the real stuff that'll stay in the room for the rest of time once they're done chewing on their furniture.

Drop down sides are going away - there's just too many accidents with them. A simple, SAFE crib is all you really need. No fuss. No muss.

I like the Ikea Gulliver crib. $99 in white. We splurged for the $139 in birch.

It's simple. It's safe. It matches our decor. And, at $139, it doesn't break the bank.


Cheers!
mouse

Okay, How Would That Work?

Dear Friends and Family,

My ankle still bothers me on and off. And, it's bad enough that I'm willing to see someone about it. But, if it needs surgery (again) then I think I'm in a bind. I'm pretty sure the pain medication would make it no go for P. So, I need to think about that all before making a decision on my treatment. I guess if it's merely broken, then all I would require is a cast. Excellent.

I would give a fair amount to be able to wind back the clock and do those 15 seconds all over again. I worked so hard on rehab for my ankle and I was so happy with the results. To have the injury last summer just sucks. I don't blame P for it. I was frazzled and not being careful. It's my mom scar, I guess. Some women have stretch marks, others have freckles. I have my ankle. Excellent.

Well, I'll ask my old doctor for a recommendation and we'll go from there, I guess.


Cheers!
mouse

Only Children Rant

Dear Friends and Family,

One of my colleagues at work has an only child, and every time I meet her I can't help but shake my head and hope P doesn't grow up to be like her.

Her parents discipline her. But, her null hypothesis is, it will be my way unless there's a good reason for it not to be my way. Whereas, as a person with siblings I knew there was a 1 in X chance for it to be "my way" with the probability going up if I could align siblings to vote my contingent. And, even then, there was the parent vote and veto. But, her assumption is unless there's a good reason why not, it's a gimme.

Here's an example. They came over on Saturday, unannounced, an hour before the party began. Mr. mouse was unloading groceries. I was heading upstairs to feed P. Our other friends were doing last minute party prep. She wanted ice cream. She asked me as I was headed upstairs. And, I told her to ask Mr. mouse when he was done unloading groceries. When I came downstairs, Mr. mouse was still unloading groceries. And, she asked me again. And, I told her to ask Mr. mouse when he was done unloading groceries. So, she asks him immediately - while he's unloading groceries.

Obviously, there's no safety issues here on the ice cream. And, she knows she'll get it since we said yes, but not now. But, her assumption is, unless there's a good reason why not now, then, as long as you ask politely, you should be able to get your way.

I'm not sure I'm making any sense here. Anyways, suffice it to say, P will not be like that when she grows up. Cause, if she had asked Mr. mouse while he was unloading groceries, my answer would have been. "I told you to wait until your Dad was done unloading groceries before asking him. Ask again, and it's no ice cream. Understood?"

What a Mom.


Cheers!
mouse

01.18.10: Party Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

Another year, another January party.

We moved up the party this year because our Winter Cabin neighbors had a long weekend this weekend. The prep was a little hectic, but all things considering, no more hectic than prior years when we had more time and no P.

The party this year was smaller - about 40-50 people rather than the 60-70 people we've had in recent years. I actually prefer the smaller size since I'm not playing doorman all night. I actually had a chance to catch up with my friends.

P has been so off schedule I don't know where to begin - solids, liquids, sleep, diapers, new medicine, reduced medicine, reduced play space, being sick, etc. This week will be a good week to get her back on schedule, I hope.

And, me? Well, I think I caught something yesterday. Or, I was incubating something and it finally broke through the surface yesterday. Warm. Cough. Congestion. Runny nose. Headache. Excellent.

And, to add to my list of P stuff, she peaked at 7 or 8 percentile on January 3rd and has been on a crazy decline since. She's back at 3 percentile land now. I guess we'll weigh her each night this week and try to get her back on track. I'll be happy with 5 percentile.

Okay. Off to get ready for the day. Sorry. Feeling pretty crummy right now. At least Saturday night was a ton of fun.


Cheers!
mouse

The Race to Toddlerhood

Dear Friends and Family,

P is standing at the gate watching Mr. mouse on his computer. Nope, now she's crawled to her toy box and is pulling books out to play with. She's begun "cruising" walking around holding onto something. And, she's become very vocal.

I feel like toddlerhood is just around the corner with cups and table food and walking and talking. Since the months keep going faster and faster, I'm sure I'll blink and it'll be May and we'll be planning her first birthday party.

For now, we're enjoying the current plateau we worked so diligently to reach... two little chompers, stage 2 foods, smaller bottles, crawling, babbling, sleeping for longer stretches... 14-ish pounds. She was stuck at 12-ish for the longest time and it was fun enjoy that stage of watching her interact with her toys and sit up and stuff. Then she skipped 13 and most of 14. And, now she's plateauing again (it could be her cold that's driving the plateau).

Okay. Mr. mouse is annoyed. He wants to use P's room as the kids' play area during the party. I don't want to. I'm annoyed that he's annoyed - what gives him the right to get annoyed every time he doesn't get his way? Huh?

Time to get some work done before beginning the party prep.


Cheers!
mouse

The Great Recession

Dear Friends and Family,

The more I see the two words together in print the more I wonder how future generations will look back and discuss how The Great Recession defined the people who lived through it - from the children to the young adults to the working population to the almost retired to the retired.

I'm not sure where I'm headed with this post. Perhaps a haiku?

The Great Recession -
forced to make lifestyle changes,
will it define us?

Sorry. It's an ill defined post. But, that's all I've got.


Cheers!
mouse

Ear Infection

Dear Friends and Family,

P got "sent home" from school yesterday with a "fever" of 100.2.

Just in case, we scheduled a doctor's appointment and covered the symptoms (see yesterday's post) and the news from school:

• labored breathing
• tugging at the ear
• other kids in her room with ear infections
• other kid in her room with RSV and brochilitis

The doctor did a quick check for wheezing. Then, we sat down for the talk. Then, he started the more thorough exam and was just getting to the last check and wouldn't you know it... her right ear was infected.

Amoxicillin is our friend - except P threw up her morning dosage. Mr. mouse is at home with her for the morning. I've got the afternoon shift.


Cheers!
mouse

Poor P

Dear Friends and Family,

P's still sick:

• low grade fever
• cough
• congestion
• runny nose

She's soldiering through it. I wish there was something I could do to make her feel better. Poor P.


Cheers?
mouse

01.11.10: Cleaning and Organizing

Dear Friends and Family,

Nothing like a crawling baby to force you to organize the house.

Actually, we've been chipping away at it since we got back from Christmas. And, we're finally beginning to make progress. Why is it that horizontal surfaces always seem to be a dumping ground? It drives me crazy. If it were just me, I'd be ruthless about clearing through it all. But, as a family, we create it faster than I can clear it. Sigh.

Saturday, we took P out for a walk. Then, a friend from work came over and watched P while we cleaned house. Sunday, Mr. mouse took an errand day while I stayed at home with P.

P has a bad cold with a runny and stuffy nose. She's been coughing and warm to the touch. And, to top it off, she's been gagging and prone to vomiting. Excellent.

What's new with our eight month old? She tries to hold her own bottle now, but usually gets the angle all wrong. She wraps her arms around your neck in the most endearing way when you carry her. She crawls to you when you're working in the kitchen. She stretches her neck to peer over the counter when she thinks Mr. mouse is on the other side. She's gotten good at both pulling herself into an upright position and slowing sitting back down. She stands in her crib rattling the side bars if she's unhappy. She likes to sleep in total darkness with her sleep sack. She's begun drooling. And, after a growth spurt over the holidays, she's plateaued again.

I could write about her ad infinitum, but it's time to get ready for work.


Cheers!
mouse

Snow Day

Dear Friends and Family,

It was snowing when we left the house yesterday and the drive was miserable. So, I turned around and came home figuring I would be more productive working from home than sitting in a car all day. Mr. mouse came home to take the "afternoon shift" and we went out to dinner once all of my meetings were done.

And, now, I remember what life was like before the crazy commute. I wonder as P gets older if I'll want to continue to spend as much time as I do at work and in the car or if I'll be willing to take a pay cut and a career change and do something closer to home. Something to ponder once the economy improves some.


Cheers!
mouse

Pick Up Performance

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, P did something I had SO been looking forward to -

When I went to pick her up last night, when she heard my voice, she turned around and began to crawl to me.

Yeah for P!


Cheers!
mouse

The Creamery

Dear Friends and Family,

Or, really, new moms out there.

P is eight months old soon. And, the milk thing is getting complicated.

We're still cycling through old milk in the freezer. It's been tough to keep up on a single container a day so I upped it recently to two containers a day. Then, I freeze two a day so our fresh supply doesn't get out of control and so that we have frozen supply for the upcoming months.

I've been slowly reducing her bottles to transition her to solid foods. Since she gets three bottles a day at school (and then I nurse her twice at home) the math has been easy - every 10 days (on the 10th, 20th and end of month) I drop one bottle one ounce.

And, now, to keep it all interesting. Since her bottle size is dropping, I get to contemplate dropping my pumping time. I've been tempted to drop work time. But, truth be told, the mental math got too complicated on that one because I pump twice at work, but feed three times over the weekend. Plus, to be even more honest, sleep won over work, so I'll be reducing my 10PM pumping session - three minutes a week over the next month.

I've come to the realization that at eight months, I'll be two thirds of the way through this whole adventure. Then, she can transition to whole milk. Funny, I may miss the bonding that comes with spending the time together in the morning and evenings.

I won't miss pumping at work. I don't think.


Cheers!
mouse

New Millenia Feminist

Dear Small,

I just finished reading a book about the history of the women's movement in the 20th century. And, I didn't realize how much a product of my times I can be. And, in living through it, I somehow took for granted all the work others have done to allow me to be who I am.

I always said, if I had a child, I wanted a girl - a girl who would be free to be all that she could be unbounded by the constraints of what others say she could be based upon her gender. I wanted you to have all of the opportunities I didn't have - even if truth be told, I've had many opportunities.

I remember a book I had growing up. It was an alphabet book. And, I was for Irma. She was a telephone utility person of sorts - the picture showed her working on the telephone lines. And, without meaning any harm, your grandfather told me that women don't do jobs like that. I'm a child of the Math is Hard Barbie era. Yet, look at me now.

But, it doesn't all come for free. I remember an elementary school teacher talking about the need for financial independence - in the third grade... And, from that point on, I knew I wanted to be financially independent. I didn't want to be dependent upon anyone because I realized when you're dependent, you can't call all of the shots and I wanted control.

I can't imagine your father leaving me. And, if he did, I can't imagine him leaving me in a bind. But, then again, who can? So, emotionally, I'm very dependent on your father, but, financially, I know I could make it on my own if I ever needed to.

Which brings me to why I'm writing this letter to you. I'm biased. I want to raise you to be like me - to be strong and independent with a healthy dose of common sense. But, more importantly, I want to raise you to be you. Regardless of the choices you make, I'll love you and respect you. Just like I am a product of my history, you'll be a product of yours. And, I'm 110% okay with that.


Love,
your mommy

01.04.10: Back to Work

Dear Friends and Family,

After 11 days off, it's back to work. I left with 22 messages in my inbox. I'm returning to 284. Fun and games.

The weekend was a continuation of vacation - cleaning and organizing the house, playing with P, running errands, and other miscellanea.

P's daycare instructors aren't going to recognize her when I bring her in this morning. She's a crawler now. She's a puller-upper now. Her bottles are smaller and she'll have three meals at school. She sleeps less. And, she's almost a ten percentile porker now.

We've also begun feeding P "human food" in addition to baby food. We transitioned her from Stage 2 Apples to applesauce. She's tried congee albeit with fruit not meat. We've been mixing either fish or avocado in with her jar food. And, last night, we let her gnaw on the end of a baguette for fun.

This is the longest stretch I've had off since returning to work. And, it's the longest stretch the three of us have had off together since P was a month old when Mr. mouse took three weeks off with me.

It'll be a tough day today. But, hopefully, we get back in the swing of things without too many hiccups.


Cheers!
mouse

2010, Here We Come

Dear Friends and Family,

A new year and a chance to look forward and back and pontificate. Here's a link to last year's post, but I'm not going to peek at it until after I write the bulk of this year's post.

How to begin writing about the year just past without writing about P? She's eight months old now and the changes continue to come faster than I ever thought possible. She's playing in a diaper box right now with Mr. mouse. We drew a dashboard on one end and have been pushing her around in it like it's a small car.

One of Mr. mouse's friends once told me (before we were even expecting) that God gives you only as much child as you can handle. And, in that regard, I think she was 100% on the mark. P's a happy baby (now that she's on Zantac) and she sleeps well and eats well and she does well with the long weekdays and semi-structured weekends. I still have trouble believing we've been entrusted with her care. Really, they should have tests and licenses required before allowing people to become parents.

And, because P can be so encompassing, a lot of stuff has fallen by the wayside. I have grand ambitions that 2010 will be better. First, once P is done breastfeeding, I'll get back between 2.5 and 3 hours a day that I currently spend on feeding and pumping. And, once she's done breastfeeding, I can tackle the weight loss without being afraid of losing milk supply.

So, here begins the look at the "stuff" that constitutes what I care about:

baby... maybe: Everyone asks - are we going to have another? And, much as I love P, I don't think we will. Baby #2 won't be P in miniature. And, the experience won't be a rewind of P. It'll be a whole new experience and it'll be that much more complicated for involving four moving parts. For now, I'm happy with one.

clutter diet: For having an infant in the house, we've done well on this front. P has a crib and mattress, a pack and play (that we use for a changing table), a swing and bouncy chair (that are both going on Craigslist soon since she's outgrown both of them), two strollers, and a high chair. We have a couple of tubs of toys and books. And, a scary collection of plastic (bottles, milk storage vials, and pump accessories). But, overall, we've kept it sane as far as the addition of stuff. And, because we had to clear out the basement and garage to make room for her, she's net negative as far as clutter is concerned. And, because I need to clear out space in the basement for P stuff that I want to save, she continues to force us to manage our clutter.

green is good: For a tiny baby, P has a carbon footprint the size of Texas. She has diapers and wipes. We kept the house cool for her over the summer and warm for her over the winter. We drive to school/daycare together every day. And, our laundry and dishwasher consumption has skyrocketed. This one will require some thought to kick start again.

korean soap operas: I had the "talk" with my mom while we were home for the holidays. She'll come out to visit in February, but realizes that moving out here into our basement for six months isn't going to happen.

make your mark: I'm not sure how this will play out. This is still something that I want to do, but I'm still not sure how, yet. For Christmas, Mr. mouse and I made charitable donations instead of buying each other stuff. I donated my share towards The March of Dimes (because they provided so much info on premature babies when I was afraid P would be early), The Heifer Organization (providing livestock to people in need), and a local women's shelter (because everyone needs a partner when fighting abuse).

money matters: We've been fortunate. We've been able to chip away at the pile of debt that everyone seems to carry around. And, with luck, we'll be free and clear by the end of 2010. (Yes, that includes the mortgage!) Our strategy? We live on one income and we save the other. It required a lot of discipline when we first started back in 2001, but, now, it's second nature. I am the first to say, we're fortunate. Both of us enjoy our work. And, both of us earn enough to make living on one income possible. But, it's not a walk in the park. Money is like closet space. Whatever you have, you use up, and wish you had 10% more.

mouse pad: This year, we WILL tackle all of the water ingestion.

the first year: P has headphones on while sitting in her high chair. Mr. mouse is getting ready to puree some avocados and some fish. She doesn't like the food processor. Hence the headphones.

travel: Eight flights and two road trips down, P's a seasoned traveler. We just need to get her a passport.

wellness: After P hits her one year mark, I'll begin this in earnest.

work: I enjoy it. It pays the bills. I wish it was a shorter commute.

Okay. Now, I peek at last year's post. Hmmm... not far off the mark. I'm okay with it and looking forward to 2011.


Cheers!
mouse

12.31.09: Oops...

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Thursday and I just realized yesterday afternoon that I hadn't been blogging all week. I had been blissfully enjoying the time off with P.

Friday, we flew home for the holidays to see family. We split the time between Mr. mouse's folks and mine. P was a trooper, beginning to sleep regularly in her car seat after seven months of training. She began to have separation anxiety which I guess is normal. And, she's gotten really good at crawling and pulling up.

We flew home on Tuesday and have been spending the past two days catching up on errands, cleaning up the house and playing with P. I'll set aside time tomorrow for ye olde restrospective.

Time for breakfast and some play time. Then, while P naps, we'll begin the baby proofing process.


Cheers!
mouse

Imbecilic Waste of a Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

I FINALLY HAVE P'S CHRISTMAS PRESENT AT HOME - NO THANKS TO THE MORONS AT UPS WHO CLAIM TO KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT PARCEL SERVICE.

What kills me is not that they lost the package, not once, nor that they lost it twice, but that they have been completely nonchalant about accepting any accountability whatsoever for their complete lack of service. An "I'm sorry, we'll make sure it doesn't happen again" would have gone a long way towards making it better for me.

Instead, I camped out watching for the truck today, loaded for bear. Incompetent imbeciles.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Merry Christmas, everyone.

Slow Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

It's tough to get motivated, but the sooner I get in to work, the sooner I'll be done for the year and the sooner I'll get to come home.

Okay. Guess I'll go wake P for breakfast.


Cheers!
mouse

P's Christmas Tree

Dear Friends and Family,

Our ornament collection has always followed three simple rules. Each year we buy the Swarovski Christmas ornament. Each year we also buy a handmade glass ornament. And, then, we have four boxes of MOMA ornaments we use as filler ornaments. There are two bell shaped ornaments that don't fit the round criteria, but nevertheless make the cut each year because they are so beautiful.

Last night, daycare sent home a classic kid ornament - red construction paper cut in the shape of a mitten with a picture of P in the middle. And, just like that, our tree became a little more personal. And, I'm okay with it.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: P's continuing her hit-me (as in blackjack) motion. Perhaps she'll be a drummer.

PPS: Last night, she really picked up her crawling pace. I have a sneaking suspicion the extended family is going to give her lots of practice while we're home for the holidays.

12.21.09: Amazon, My New Best Friend

Dear Friends and Family,

One of my friends decided to rescue me and go to the Barry Manilow concert with Mr. mouse. I love friends willing to rescue me from Barry Manilow. The world should be filled with friends willing to rescue me from Barry Manilow. There cannot be enough... okay... okay... Mr. mouse got to see Barry Manilow. I got to spend the evening at home with P. Life is good.

Saturday, we met up with a friend I used to work with and her little toddler. It was good to catch up and compare notes on reflux babies. She's got the impossible eater who's a normal weight. We've got the chug-a-lugger who's also normal, but tiny.

Sunday, we gave P a bath. And, although she wasn't happy, she wasn't miserable either. I don't know what changed, but I'll take it. P's also begun consonants to Mr. mouse's joy. And, she continues to practice pulling up and crawling. On another milestone, she's pretty much outgrown green pillow. She's big enough to go without it if we're in the car, and, at home, we just lie down together now. It'll be sad retiring green pillow for good.

Sunday afternoon, we went to the aquarium. The new membership got all of us in for free, and P got her first entrance bracelet to commemorate the occasion. For old times sake, we ate popcorn with her by the Caribbean Reef where we sat down timing contractions the day before she was born.

Sunday night, Tex Mex followed by tree trimming. Finally. It's one of the things on our to do list that got pushed back. Once we get the gates up, we'll have most of the big things done before we begin the big push to get ready for our party.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Amazon. Saturday, we went to pick up packages and our Amazon package was missing. P's first Christmas present was missing. Not cool. And, UPS was so not helpful. Loaded for bear, I began the 1-800-someone'd-better-help-me-now-or-so-help-me-god calls. And, Amazon was amazing helpful. Yes, they began the claims process and the search process. But, why ruin a customer's Christmas in the interim? They mailed a second batch of books second day so that we'll get it in time for Christmas. Now, that's smart customer service.

Santa Mouse

Dear Friends and Family,

P is home sick. She got sent home from school on Tuesday with an "unformed, uncontained" diaper. We think it's a stomach virus. Mr. mouse stayed home with her on Wednesday. I stayed home with her yesterday. Today, we're keeping her home just in case.

But, life goes on. And, I will stop by daycare today to sign the bill for the holiday party that Mr. mouse and I are sponsoring for P's teachers. And, to drop off the gift cards. And, I have a little something for the ladies at the lactation center where I pump.

And, so begins the holiday cheer.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: change of plans, P's off to school.

Capturing Time

Dear Friends and Family,

It happened yesterday at work. The dreaded calculation talk... Well, next week is a short week, and then everyone's off the week after. So, we might as well wait until January before we kick off this project...

Wait a moment! Where did December go? I don't know.

I've come to the sad realization that I've lost total control of time. And, that makes me wonder - do you put life on hold and try to capture the precious memories of babyhood? or do you let life happen and wake up one day to find a teenager asking for the car keys?

I'm not sure you have a choice. And, I'm not sure the answer is black and white. If you put life on hold, then the dishes don't get cleaned, and the fridge doesn't get stocked, and the clothes don't get washed, and that hardly seems like a good choice. But, if you do all of the things that need to get done, then the time slips by and you know you'll regret not taking more time to just lie on the floor and laugh with her because one day she won't have any interest in doing that with you.

There's a precious window of time right now when her eyes light up only for you (and her Dad, of course) and her smiles are sheer expressions of her utter joy to see you and she is thoroughly content to play with you all day.

I guess the right answer is one of balance - get enough done to keep the wheels on the wagon, but make a conscious effort to take the time to enjoy the bliss of the first year.


Cheers!
mouse

Baby Lullabies

Dear Small,

We've got a long drive to school, and sometimes, when you cry, I sing to you to soothe you. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. But, I always give it a try.

Your Favorites

• Ba Ba Black Sheep
• Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
• The Alphabet Song
• Itsy Bitsy Spider
• Are You Sleeping?

Other Songs I Sing

• This Old Man
• Do Re Mi
• Wheels on the Bus

Originals

• Who Loves P?

At Home

• The Diaper Song
• Eating Makes You Nice and Big
• Ladybug's Melody

The time goes quickly, and it's tough to capture all of the details that make up our day to day routine.


Love,
your mommy

12.14.09: Christmas Prep

Dear Friends and Family,

We spent part of the weekend with old friends from the Motor City doing our teeth cleaning thing. P did SO much better on this car trip than she did on the one six months ago. We left Thursday night, ~9 PM and she slept the whole way over. Then, on the way back, we left ~4:30 PM and she slept most of the way back (we stopped at dinner time for all three of us). Yeah for P!

Friday, we went to the dentist. Then, we ate lunch at one of our favorite delis - loading up on bread and butter to bring home. We tried a $200/lb ham ($8 for our serving size) and a $125/lb ham ($5 for our serving size) and had fun comparing the taste, texture, etc. of the two. The flavor is intense and goes a long way. Me? I preferred the cheaper of the two - it was more for fun than anything else.

After lunch, we picked up our annual Christmas ornament. We debated, briefly, picking up a separate ornament for P. Then, we decided not to. Since, eventually, one day, all of our ornaments will be hers. A quick sprint to load up on gear for dinner, and we were over at our friends' house noshing on french fries, potato skins, pumpernickel bread with dip, pizza and chinese spare ribs. Dessert? chocolate cake. Yumminess. Yes, it's an odd combination. But, we all had fun which is the important part.

Saturday, we lingered longer than planned, catching up with a friend over dim sum, so we didn't get Christmas cards/tree done like we originally planned. The cards may not go out until January - we're falling behind on our to do list and I'm beginning to re-prioritize to maintain my sanity.

Sunday, we did the bulk of our Christmas shopping. This year, Mr. mouse and I decided not to get each other anything. Instead, we'll be making a couple of charitable donations. Time to research worthy causes.


Cheers!
mouse

P Updates

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, when I went to pick P up at daycare, while I was packing up her bag, she pulled herself upright. Wow. The world is a new place for P (and me).

So, last night, I was faced with the dilemma of where to sleep P until we dropped the mattress on her crib. I tried the pack and play until she was puffy in the face from crying. She finally collapsed and fell asleep. I was so proud of my achievement that I had Mr. mouse go in to see her which woke her. She's the deepest sleeper and the lightest sleeper depending upon where she is in her sleep cycle. Once he calmed her down, he took her to our bed (aka nuestra cama).

Last night, in her crying fit, she also definitively showed a pick me up move - where she opens her arms, turns towards you and pleads.

Seven months old tomorrow. It goes so quickly. There were times during the first six months when I thought about how cool it would be to have a second child - to relive the experiences we'd had so far with P. But, I've come to realize, it wouldn't be the same. It'd be a whole new person with a whole new set of experiences. And, it wouldn't be the same because it'd be Mr. mouse, P, baby and me, not just the three of us the way it is now. Just more thoughts going through my head when I'm stuck in traffic.


Cheers!
mouse

12.08.09: Happy Belated Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

Snow tires on.

Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. I don't think we did anything of note. It was a lazy day at home playing with P. I think. Has my memory of the weekend faded already?

Sunday, we went out and picked up a tree. It's up in its stand in the living room, lights half on. We'll work on it throughout the week and hopefully get it done by the weekend. I'm a lot more excited about presents this year - presents for P.

Oh, Saturday, I did a couple of hours of work and then worked on the Christmas card. How quickly we forget. And, Saturday night, we went to a co-workers' Christmas party where we scored a jar of honey in the gift exchange.


Cheers!
mouse

First Snowfall

Dear Friends and Family,

First winter snow and it's coming down Monday for rush hour traffic. Going to try and get a jump on the commute.

Weekend update tomorrow.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: furnace part fit, yeah!

Day Three Intermittent Heat

Dear Friends and Family,

Tuesday

I woke up and it was cold. Not freezing, but cold. We realized the furnace was out. Mr. mouse fiddled with it in the morning. He replaced the thermostat in the evening. We slept with a space heater we had from last winter.

Wednesday

I woke up and it was colder. Not freezing, but definitely colder. Furnace still out. Mr. mouse called a repair person who came and looked at it and quoted something or other, ended up not replacing anything but jiggling something or other, charged $100 and left. Heat :)

Thursday

I woke up and it was cold again. Not freezing, but cold. We realized the furnace was out again. Mr. mouse fiddled with the part with the bad contact. It snapped. He ordered a new one that's coming today. We slept with a space heater we had from last winter.

Friday

I woke up and it was freezing. Not cold, but freezing. I don't need Mr. mouse's $0.02 to realize the furnace is still out. Fingers crossed the part fits today.


Cheers!
mouse

P Up, Heat Down

see you tomorrow -

Baby Time

Dear Friends and Family,

A light bulb went off this weekend and I'm ready to write about something that's been on the back burner for a couple of weeks now.

My mom.

She's mentioned she wanted to come out several times now. For example, while my grandmother was sick, she wanted to come out for a day trip to spend some time with P. I told her she's always welcome and that a day trip would do her a ton of good especially since my aunt was in town to visit with and take care of my grandmother.

Well, after grandma passed away, the concept of the day trip morphed, in my mom's mind, into a SIX month visit to spend some time with P.

Both Mr. mouse and me kind of flinched at the thought of a six month visit. First, there's the fact that we travel, a lot. How would that work? We'd leave her here alone for weekends on end? Then, there's the fact that we have friends over, a lot. How would that work? There's only so much space in the mouse pad, especially now that we've lost a room to P. Then, there's daycare. How would that work? It's not long enough to pull her from daycare and too long to pay it and not use it. Then, there's eating. How would that work? My mom wants to help, but she's not the healthiest cook. And, the list goes on, and gets more petty. And, made me feel like a horrible person.

But, then, I realized those were all mechanistic things we could work through if we really wanted to. At the heart of it was a bigger issue. Rewind to six months ago.

In hindsight, I think, if I were to do it all over again, I would take two weeks with Mr. mouse right when P was born, then three weeks with my mom and then two more weeks with Mr. mouse instead of having my mom come out on day 3 and stay for three weeks. We just needed more time as a family unit when she was born - just the three of us - to soak it all in. I think I've been fighting that since and that's part of what has made me so greedy about P time and so sensitive about the mom visiting thing.

Then, the other thing is, while my mom was here she was very greedy with P time. I kind of swallowed my words and let her have more time than I wanted to give knowing that she had three weeks and I had months ahead of me. It was tough to do, especially with the postpartum hormones raging, but I did.

And, whenever we visited home, she's been very greedy with P time, which I've just chalked up to her taking advantage of the time she has - really, to be fair, everyone is very greedy with limited P time and I get it and I'm okay with it, it's just no one else is asking to move in so it's not really an issue with anyone else.

Which brings me to my aha. I don't want to be fighting for P time and P attention and P "preferential status" (aka who's #1 in P's book?) with my mom for six months. I also don't want to have her spoil P and then have to be the disciplinarian and spend the time and effort to undo that. It all reeks of bad Korean soap operas.

Now, before you think I'm a selfish little snot, I'm 110% for P having a close relationship with her grandparents - all of them. I just don't think she's at an age when she's forming relationships and memories. And, I brought that up to my mom. And, my normally selfless mom said, "I know, this is about me." Wow. I didn't say anything.

Since my mom is normally selfless, it's unfortunate that all three of her children are normally selfish. I think it's because she asked us to be selfless in ways children really shouldn't be expected to be. I won't go into all of that here. But, what it all boils down to is this... If she's okay being selfish, then I'm more than okay being just as selfish. And, I will be, because P's time and attention and preferential status are all limited commodities. And, while I don't mind being a sandwich generation financially, I sure as heck mind being asked to be a sandwich generation familially.

Where does this leave everything? I don't know. Probably nothing is going to happen between now and the end of the year. Now that I have more perspective, I'll stew on it all again until the next light bulb goes off.


Cheers!
mouse

Credit Card Financing Charges Hamster Wheel

Dear Friends and Family,

We're not ones to carry a balance on our credit card, so imagine my surprise to find out we've been getting charged finance charges on our primary card. WTF?!?!

It turns out we were late one payment this summer, right when P was born and our internet went down and online banking was the last thing on my mind. Well, since then our "average daily balance" has never reset to zero even if we've paid off our balance each month since. So, the bank keeps sending us the bill for finance charges.

Finally fed up, last month, we paid double our balance so we'd had a negative balance for the month and finally zero out. As Murphy's Law would have it, we still have an average daily balance - almost zero, but not quite. So, we'll be sending in another monster payment this month. On the positive front, our holiday spending will all be covered in this overpayment debacle.

And, how on earth is a normal person supposed to figure this out? And, afford to do this? I'm beginning to hate/distrust large companies more and more. They seem to have lost sight of the altruism that is the social grease that enables the world to function. There's fair profit and there's "unfair" profit. And, we seem to have lost perspective on what that means.

P's up. Off my soap box.


Cheers!
mouse

11.30.09: Much Needed Long Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

Ah... After a crazy fall, we had a much needed long weekend off. I feel like I've had enough time with P to get caught up and not feel so deprived or compromised.

What'd we do?

Tuesday: P and I left work/school early to beat the traffic home. It still took forever and a quarter, but it would have been worse if we hadn't left early. We went out Tuesday night to pick up a rug for P's new play area.

Wednesday: P and I met Mr. mouse for lunch. Then, we napped while Mr. mouse picked up the rug at the warehouse. We celebrated the start of the long weekend by going out for dinner - Thai.

Thursday: The whole day disappeared in a flurry of cooking since we didn't do the pies Wednesday night. Then, the evening disappeared in a flurry of eating since we didn't have much to eat all day.

Friday: I headed into work in the morning for a couple of hours to check in. Then, we met up with some friends for lunch and a jaunt over to the Art Institute. We took pictures of P that we could use to create a time lapse; we were there in July with other friends.

Saturday: We finished up some very belated thank you cards and cleaned house. Then, we met up with our friends for dinner (sushi) and then ice cream.

Sunday: More time with P followed by a Target run and dinner in Chinatown.

And, that was the weekend. P started a host of new tricks, but I'll write about those later this week.


Cheers!
mouse

The Grateful List

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry about the radio silence for the last couple of days. It feels like one long weekend with the holidays mixed in.

Time to reflect on what I'm grateful for... (in no particular order)

health and happiness of friends and family, a spouse who loves me and is supportive and nurturing and has faith and confidence in me, a job that I enjoy that keeps me mentally challenged and helps me contribute to my family's well being, a sister who understands me to my core and still loves me and helps to keep me sane, patience and openness that helps me cope and learn, and all the people who love P and make every day feel special

which brings me to, the thing I'm most grateful for this year, P

that the pregnancy went to term, that the delivery went well, that she was born in good health, that she continues to thrive, that we were able to figure out breastfeeding, that we got to spend the summer together, that work is so supportive of my need to balance work and motherhood, the moments Mr. mouse and P and I share together as a family watching her and playing with her, the utter joy and happiness in her eyes and smile when she sees either of us, the trust and peace in holding her when she sleeps, and even the sad moments when she needs Mr. mouse or me to do something for her.

Each moment feels so precious. I'm glad I waited until I did to have P. But, ultimately, I'm so glad I did decide to have her.


Cheers!
mouse

Baby Proofing

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, P was off Zantac for a couple of days. And, this morning, we caved and dosed her. Guess she still needs the meds.

We went shopping last night and bought a rug for the family room. This weekend, we'll clean the floor, rearrange some furniture, and hang some gates. And, hopefully, at the end of it all, P will have an 8 x 10 space she can call her own - safe for her to do her thing. Kind of like my office at work.


Cheers!
mouse

A Healthier Thanksgiving

Dear Friends and Family,

Whereas Thanksgiving is a time of tradition, and recognizing that there's a HUGE comfort associated with certain foods during the Thanksgiving mean, nevertheless I am considering revisiting our Thanksgiving traditions in the name of making it a healthier tradition.

Phew, now that the legalese is out of the way. What does that mean? I've decided to tweak the meal a dish at a time as time and whimsy strike. This year, we're passing on the Pillsbury Crescent Rolls and instead I will be baking bread. I've made it a couple of times before using the NY Times no knead bread recipe.

Original article: The Secret of Great Bread
The Follow-On article: No Kneading, but Some Fine Tuning

I'll miss the little flaky, buttery pillows of hydrogenated fructose goodness, but good bread is nothing to sneeze at either. And, in the long run, it's a healthier habit for P to pick up from us. And, for us to pick up from us.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: In case you're wondering. Thursday, we'll be having: turkey, ham, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, candied yams, bread, green bean casserole, corn, cranberry relish, pumpkin pie, apple pie, whipped cream, ice cream

PPS: Prior changes in years past have included homemade gravy vs. jar gravy and homemade cranberry relish vs. canned cranberry jelly.

11.23.09: Weekend at Home

Dear Friends and Family,

After three weekends on the road, we finally had a weekend at home.

We slept in both days, napped both afternoons, ran some errands and gloried in the amusement a six month old provides.

We fed P (apples, avocado, salmon and pumpkin - she loves apples). We watched P crawl (backwards). We heard P say hi - jury's out on whether it was intentional or not. We watched P pick things up and shake them and swat at things.

I so needed a weekend of nothing. Now, I'm off to work for a day and a half. I wanted to take the week off, but with the funeral and multiple trips home, I'm behind. So, I'm headed in for today and for an hour meeting tomorrow.


Cheers!
mouse

Apples for Breakfast

Dear Friends and Family,

P's growing up. She's eating apples with her Daddy while I write this post.

What does our six month old peanut eat?

1. breakfast (5 AM): nursing session followed by whatever baby food we have handy (starting today)
2. mid morning snack (8:30 AM): 8 oz bottle
3. lunch (noon): 8 oz bottle
4. high tea (3:30 PM): 8 oz bottle
5. dinner (7 PM): nursing session followed by whatever baby food we have handy

So far, she's eaten peas, carrots, apples, bananas, avocados, and mashed potatoes. Tomorrow, she starts baby food at school. I'm not sure how much she'll eat. I think I'll send a 6 oz bottle for breakfast and 4 oz of baby food letting her decide how much she wants. We're not in the business of measuring her food, if we can. Maybe that's why she still hasn't doubled her birth weight.


Cheers!
mouse

Sleep Catch Up

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse met me at the bus station and drove home while I slept in the back seat with P. We got home, fed P, and then napped until 11:30. I pumped, ate dinner, and fell back asleep until this morning. P slept through the whole night. And, so did Mr. mouse.

Guess we all needed the rest after the last couple of weeks.


Cheers!
mouse

Food Decisions

Dear Friends and Family,

I gave myself a reprieve until P turned 6 months on the whole baby weight thing since 1. it seemed like there was some inexplicable link between my losing weight and my losing milk volume and 2. there were a million and one things I was tracking for awhile with P and who need to track a million and two things, really?

But, now, I'm ready. P's six months old. And, I'm mentally ready to begin the 20 pound journey that is my post partum wellness journey. Instead of jumping full court press on the Weight Watchers bandwagon, I've resolved to make three better food decisions every day. I'll weigh in tomorrow (since I forgot to this morning) and we'll go from there.


Cheers!
mouse

11.16.09: Closure

Dear Friends and Family,

We went home for the weekend for the funeral. And, for all my griping beforehand, I'm glad I went. I'll miss grandma. But, I won't. I'll see her again one day, and until then, she's with grandpa. They'd been separated for a long time so I'm glad they're together again now.

Administrivia: flew in Friday morning, wake Friday evening followed by dinner, funeral Saturday morning, followed by lunch and then time at home with my brother and sister and brother-in-law, flew out Sunday morning - it was warm for November and raining, a tropical storm was pushing rain our way - my brother had a chance to say his goodbyes alone, both at the wake and at the cemetery, my mom had her church group to support her - at the wake, one of the toughest, but one of the most touching moments was when the nurses from the nursing home showed up to say bye to grandma - I'm glad to be home again.

Pioneer had a tough time. She threw up four times on the flight out. Then, three more times at the airport. We switched her to Pedialyte and she was able to keep that down. We eased her back into milk on Saturday and she was back to her normal routine by Sunday. It was weird for her to be around all of these emotions. She's used to shiny happy people. And, she was lap child for the whole weekend, instead of being able to crawl around and spread out.

P contorted herself into a sitting position by herself while we were home - Saturday evening while my brother and sister were playing with her. She's getting better at the backwards crawling. We're beginning to see baby neck. She's a riot when she's eating. She grabs the spoon and shovels the food into her mouth sideways. She eats a little over an ounce at a time now. And, she's become more purposeful at the breast. When she was a newborn, it was a struggle. Then, she learned to lie still and open wide. Now, she wiggles and squirms towards me and grabs with her hands. It's really quite cute.

Sunday, we had our six month visit. P's still 50th percentile head. She's now 25-50th percentile height. And, not unexpectedly, 5th percentile weight. She got 5 shots including seasonal flu and H1N1. She fell backwards from a sitting position onto the floor twice last night. And, she had a tough time falling asleep. Five shots, two teeth and a bunch of moving parts is tough on anyone, much less a six month old.

Oh, and, we're going to try weaning her off of the Zantac. Wish us luck!


Cheers!
mouse

Not One, but Two

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse and I had placed a bet on which tooth would show up first - lower left or lower right. Not one to disappoint, P decided to have the two show up simultaneously, this morning.

I had checked yesterday evening and P's gums were swollen and white, but no signs of a tooth. And, then, this morning, there they were!


Cheers!
mouse

Day at Home

Dear Friends and Family,

Home today getting ready for our trip back for the funeral. P's sleeping and I've had a chance to do my morning routine and decompress.

I'm still not sure where I'm at. I feel happy for my grandmother. She's not suffering anymore. And, she's with my grandfather now. I'm sure when I get home my mom and brother will be train wrecks. He was a lot closer to my grandmother. It was like that for me when my grandfather passed away. I still miss him.

Well, not sure I have a ton of new insight for the day. I'm over the anger I felt Tuesday night and the emptiness I felt yesterday. Today, I feel strangely optimistic. It's all going to be okay in the end.


Cheers!
mouse

Resolution

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry for the spotty coverage. There have been a couple of mornings I've slept through my alarm clock and had to run to work.

My grandmother passed away last night at 9:35 pm. The wake is on Friday night. The funeral is on Saturday.

In an awkward way, I'm happy for my grandmother. She was hanging on when I last saw her, but I didn't see how she was going to recover. Now, she's at peace and there's no more suffering.

In another awkward way, I just wish I could disconnect the phone and crawl into a cave for the next two months and just be here and spend time with P. I wish I could shut out the world and just be by myself. I don't want to deal with anyone at the moment which seems impossibly selfish. I guess I just don't like change sometimes.

In a third awkward way, at some point my mom and I will have to have the conversation. She wants to come out to "help" with P. I'm not necessarily sure I need (or even want) the help. It makes me feel even worse to have this added on on top of everything else.

Guess I'm off to my awkward day.


Cheers!
mouse

11.09.09: Weekend of Misunderstandings

Dear Friends and Family,

Sometimes, when Mr. mouse gets on a mission, it's just plain easier to roll with the punches than it is to resist. Fortunately, it doesn't happen often. And, usually it's relatively harmless.

This time, he got it in his head that he wanted to go see our Winter Cabin friends. So, we scrambled to get all of our errands done on Saturday. We took the early flight out. We took the later flight back. And, in between, we spent the day with our friends which was awesome.

Now, the less than awesome. I didn't get to sleep in on Sunday. And, I didn't get to nap or turn in early so I'm starting the week tired. We didn't get all of our errands done so I'm starting the week feeling behind.

And, since we didn't get to see any of my friends from old work, it was a partial trip. What it comes down to is, I'm not sure how our weekends are going to shape up. We have friends in town next weekend that we weren't originally planning on. And, the weekend after we're visiting the folks. And, at any given moment my time can be trumped. And, I guess I just wanted quiet time because lately I feel my schedule hasn't been my own. And, so, while I thoroughly enjoyed the trip out, I resented Mr. mouse taking away what little control I've had recently.

Pioneer is moving around like a champ. Not crawling, but turning and shifting to get from point A to point B. It's not intentional, just happen chance. She's making progress on the food front - she ate almost a half ounce of peas last night. She's still talking up a storm. And, she's beginning to exhibit stranger anxiety. All of which makes me feel like she's growing up too fast. Yet, when she's asleep in my arms, like she was on the flight home, she's still a baby. I couldn't stop watching her last night - poopy diaper and all. My sweetest.


Cheers!
mouse

Baby Food

Dear Friends and Family,

The internet was down yesterday morning. Or, rather, our cable modem was.

Tuesday night, we fed P mashed potatoes. She was doing excellent until she got a funny look on her face. Two seconds later, she threw up her potatoes and two and a half ounces of milk to boot. We figured enough potatoes for one night. We gave her a topper bottle later in the evening and laughed the whole incident off.

Wednesday, we fed P more avocado. She was patient with us and got it down. I think at this point it's still all more for fun than it is for actual nutrition. This weekend, we'll try avocado one more time and then move on another food.

Our baby's growing up.


Cheers!
mouse

11.04.09: Processing

Dear Friends and Family,

It's cold now. And, it's dark at night.

P's crawling backwards. And, we can feel a tooth coming in even if we can't see it. She's laughing a lot again after a period when her smiles were harder to win. And, she's talking a ton after a period when she was listening more than squealing. P's a consistent sleeper on the morning rides in, and an inconsistent sleeper on the rides home.

She's SO curious about our food, it makes me laugh. But, when we tried mashed potatoes last night, she vomited it all up. We laughed. She laughed. We try again tonight.

And, I'm still trying to come to terms about grandma. She has good days. She has bad days. They're not feeding her so I feel like that's numbering her days. She has trouble swallowing her food so the decision on how to proceed isn't obvious.

I'm still processing.

And, my mom talks about coming out/moving out to help with P. I'm not sure I want the help, truth be told. I'm kinda enjoying it the way it is now.

I'm still processing.

And, that, my friends, is my life right now. Lots of thinking. Not a lot of insights.


Cheers!
mouse