Freedoms We Take for Granted

Dear Friends and Family,

I've been meaning to write about this for some time, but it's a fuzzy concept... the rights and freedoms we have and how we take it for granted. Somehow, in debating the nuances of it and/or not taking advantage of it, we counterintuitively validate it. Does that make any sense?

Okay. How about this example? While some heterosexual couples are debating his name, her name, hyphenated, each keeping their own, some homosexual couples are pointedly picking one common last name.

There's so much we do day by day where we take for granted the very basics that we can't imagine life without. Life insurance, medical insurance, unemployment insurance, hospitals, police, fire fighters, all of the rights in the bill of rights and our constitution, a justice system, a monetary controls system, equal opportunity, the list goes on.

Yet, every day, people wake up to a world without the basics. We debate whether to vaccinate our collective children while others don't have access to childhood vaccinations.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post. If it's a call to recognize what we have and be grateful for it. Or, if it's a realization that we should be doing more for others. Or, for now, simply, that it's important to share our thoughts and opinions with others in respectful dialogue. Sometimes you need to stand on the shoulders of giants to push your thinking forward until it crystallizes.

Any tall volunteers around?


Cheers!
mouse

08.04.10: Social Butterfly Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

The weekend was a buzz with activity.

Saturday morning, P and I went out for breakfast and a walk while the house cleaners took care of business. Then, we loaded up the car and went to a friend's birthday party. P's first birthday party. She liked the pasta. She liked the cake. She wasn't a big fan of the water park.

Then, we met up with friends for tacos followed by a trip downtown to watch a movie shoot followed by drinks followed by a live cook-off followed by dinner on the roof.

We kicked off Sunday with brunch at the local diner. Mr. mouse went to get my car while P napped. Then, we all met up at a bike race. We stopped for some sushi and before you knew it the weekend was over.

P was full of love and affection. She was methodical and simply content when we had breakfast together on Saturday. She was full of trust when she fell asleep on my back on the walk home from brunch. She was all smiles and kisses at the bike race. And, she babbled the whole way home from dinner.

It feels like it can't get any better. Then, it inevitably does.


Cheers!
mouse

08.01.10: Baby, Foot

Dear Friends and Family,

One day P is going to try and compile this all and she's going to wonder why I wasn't more consistent.

Sunday evening, we were driving home from dinner and P was full of baby talk and Mr. mouse and I were egging her on encouraging the exploration of new sounds and tones. She was saying something like bay-bee.

Well, yesterday, she was reading a book of baby faces and she was pointing to several of them and saying bay-bee. Too cute.

The other word she's gotten down is bahl which she uses to refer to her shoes which only makes sense when you realize the word for shoes in Korean is shin bahl. Last night, in her crib, she was pointing to her foot and saying bahl which could mean she was asking for her shoes or could mean she figured out that bahl is the Korean word for foot. So for now, bahl is either foot or shoe for P. Close enough for a 15 month old.


Cheers!
mouse

Returning to Work: One Year Anniversary

Dear Friends and Family,

I'll write about the weekend tomorrow. Today, I want to take the time I have and reflect on the past year.

One year ago today, Mr. mouse and I loaded P into the car and drove to school to drop P off for her first day of school and my first day back at the office.

We made it through the schedule craziness that is pumping. We made it through the first year of driving. We made it through packing bottles and bags and binkies. We made it through the multiple times P was sent home from school for being sick. We made it through the transition to toddler room.

There have been days I wanted more time with P. There have been days when I had a bad day at work and I questioned my decision. But, in the end, I'm glad I made the decision I made. I think P is a better person for it. And, I know I am a better person for it. Ultimately, I like working. I like the tough mental challenges and the social interaction. I think if I was at home every day with P I would eventually think it was repetitious.

Right now, it feels like a good balance. I get to see P when I drop her off. I get to see P when I pick her up. I talk to P and sing to her on the way home. I get to spend time with her at night - playing, eating dinner, bathing and putting her to bed. I get my weekend rush. Then, I get to go to work and know she's in good hands doing things I wouldn't be able to do with her at home (e.g. playing with her classmates) or wouldn't think to do at home (e.g. chocolate pudding art).

I like being close by. And, I like doing drop off and pick up. There are too many firsts I would have missed if I had skipped drop off and pick up. In those precious moments, P pulled up for the first time and took her first steps. On a day at home with me, sick with some stomach bug, she crawled for the first time.

So, while the commute has been longer than I would like. I wouldn't change a thing. At least for now.


Cheers!
mouse

End of Week Scramble

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday. And, with a little luck I'll make it through the day. And, that, my friends, is all my brain can muster up today.

That, and I entered in our month end numbers for retirement and they were better than expected. Hooray for team mouse.


Cheers!
mouse

Jinxed

Dear Friends and Family,

And just when you think it's going okay... My mom called last night to tell me that my dad is in the hospital. He was admitted for some tests. And, then my sister called to fill me in on all of the gory details. Apparently my dad had some infection of the lungs/bronchial tubes when he was a kid and it caused some scarring of the respiratory tract. Well, as you get older, it makes you more susceptible to respiratory tract illnesses and makes treatment of them more critical than if you didn't have the scarring.

From what I can gather, my dad must have caught something. And, now everyone's concerned it's pneumonia. And, I feel bad. I was annoyed with my dad for his behavior when he visited for P's birthday. And, now I realize he must have been pretty miserable.

It still doesn't excuse his behavior. And, still doesn't change Mr. mouse's feelings about the whole thing. But, it makes me feel bad that I didn't give him the benefit of the doubt. I guess it's true, that's what happens if you cry wolf once too often.

So why do I feel jinxed? I was just lecturing a friend at work about letting people live by their decisions and letting go of what you can't control. And, I still feel that way. I just feel bad because my dad didn't have the easiest time of it.

He grew up under two tyrants in an environment that would make parents today shudder. He grew up in a war torn country deprived of resources and a lot of what we take for granted now. And, he's been carrying that baggage around his entire life.

I know I didn't have the easiest childhood either. And, I'm very fortunate to have grown out of the trap that so many fall into - the trap of repeating the mistakes of the prior generation. And, I guess that's why I feel bad. Given the hand I was dealt, I feel like I made the best of it and the best of it is pretty good. And, I feel like my dad didn't. He became a victim. So, while I'm sitting here with five deuces, he's decided to fold. And, that's why I feel bad. I was lucky. He wasn't. And, I feel sorry for him.

Well, time to dig deep and be strong. And, time to watch and be grateful for what we have been able to offer P - a mom and dad who love her unconditionally; a home that is safe and happy. Time and attention and smiles and laughter and hugs and reading time and play time and care are all things P gets to take for granted. We're fortunate and P's fortunate. And, that is a good thing. I feel like I've done what I can to make the world a little bit of a better place by being able to provide for P what I didn't have as a child.


Cheers!
mouse

More Toddler Tricks

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse had dinner with a work colleague so I had the evening alone with P.

She slept half of the way home and quietly watch the passing scenary the other half of the ride home.

I fed her dinner - lots of beans, some turkey, some bread and then half of my yogurt.

Then, when we played, she did a couple of funny things that only a mother can care about.

She kissed one of the characters in a book she's been reading. She sat down when I said sit. She made fire engine noises when she picked up her fire engine. And, she kissed monkey and held her when I put her down in her crib. See, things only a mother can care about.

I have to wonder what is going through her head these days. She spends a lot more time at home reading than playing. She pulls her books out looking for a book she likes, then she sits down, opens the book, flips through some pages, and then puts the books down and goes for the next one. Sometimes she'll pause on pages and make comments. Sometimes she'll just look intently. Sometimes she'll come over to ask you to read. Almost all times she'll reorient the book if it's upside down. Sometimes we let her read on her own. Sometimes we volunteer comments. I can tell there's a lot going on in that noggin of hers, I just don't know what.


Cheers!
mouse

Good Night, Meh

Dear Friends and Family,

P is a regular driver now. She walks over and then looks up and smiles and wiggles a little which is her signal that she wants to be picked up. Then she points to where she wants to go.

Last night, Mr. mouse picked her up to take her upstairs to bed and she looked at me and waved. She waved! She's never waved before (outside of me waving her arm for her).

I'll have to try and capture it on video soon.


Cheers!
mouse

07.26.10: Quiet Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

After a weekend with Trixie and the tall one, we had a quiet weekend at home before the onslaught of the neighbors. Our mouse winter cabin neighbors are headed over this weekend and staying the week. I can't wait!

Saturday, we headed out for some family grooming - his and hers waxing. A family that grooms together stays together. Then, we wended our way through some traffic for some dim sum. P loved the fried radish cakes and spare ribs with black bean sauce. She's a funny duck.

Saturday afternoon we spent running errands. And, then, we settled down for some yummy dinner at home - fresh pasta with cod and beans and a drizzle of olive oil. P loved it.

Sunday, we headed out to meet up with some friends for a play date/picnic in the park. P and her giant friend had fun and we got a chance to catch up and compare notes with another set of parents.

We came home. P had her nap. Mouse had her manicure. Then, we headed out for dinner. And, the weekend was gone. I love weekends.


Cheers!
mouse

Friday!

Dear Friends and Family,

We're all up. Me with my coffee and my blog. P with her retro trendy boat. Mr. mouse with P. Moments like these are so precious.

I think we're on the verge of P erupting in verse. She's making so many more sounds. It's only a matter of time before it all sorts itself out in her head and the words start coalescing.

P and Mr. mouse are putting the lifesavers on the two people that came with her toy. Yesterday, she tried to fit the lifesaver on her own neck.

Lovely as it all is, time for me to start getting ready.


Cheers!
mouse

Passage of Time

Dear Friends and Family,

It's sometimes dark when it's time to feed P in the morning. And, it's not quite as bright out when I head out of the office in the evening. Somehow, we went from the quiet start to summer to summer in full swing to summer with a finite number of weekends left.

Only one thing to do. Make the most of it and seize the day!


Cheers!
mouse

Other People's Lives

Dear Friends and Family,

Why social media? I was reading another person's blog, someone I don't know in real life, but someone I sometimes think I know in virtual life. And, I realized it's a funny thing.

In one sense it's affirmation - I've been there! I've thought that! I've done that! In another sense it's vicariously living someone else's life - I'll never do that or go there, but it's nice to be there/do that through someone else's eyes.

And, then I wonder, why do people write? What drives content creation? Some people write for money. Other people write for fame. Me, I write to find peace, to work myself through all the little (and big) thoughts that would otherwise make me a little more mentally cluttered. The side benefit is that I get to go back and look at the randomness from years past and remember.

Twenty years from now, it'll be an interesting monologue. Life through the eyes of a thirty-something.


Cheers!
mouse

Chronicling the Toddler Years

Dear Friends and Family,

It never ceases to amaze me that people are utterly amazed by their own kids when clearly every kid eventually figures out the same stuff sooner or later.

Yet, I am utterly amazed by P.

This weekend, she went from a walker/crawler to a walker. She still crawls from point A to point B if the distance isn't far and she's got stuff in her hands. But, it's more a scooching motion than a crawling motion. But, for anything more than a couple of scooches, she gets up and walks. Utterly amazed.

She's fallen back in love with reading. She'll pick up book after book and bring them to you and give you a huge smile and sit on your lap ready for a good read. After you "finish" the book, she'll bring over the next one. Utterly amazed.

When you're carrying her, she'll point to where she wants to go. Utterly amazed.

She's got chomper #8 coming in. It's been almost a month, I just kept forgetting to write about it. And, the stranger anxiety seems to be getting better (or she simply likes our current two house guests).

Sunday, she was full of kisses. I got to feed P her afternoon snack. She ate nearly a full bowl of pasta. And, I got to put her to bed. We read Goodnight Moon together. Then, we read Dear Zoo. Then, I picked her up and she pointed to her crib and climbed in. I patted her on her back until she fell asleep.

Oh, and she made the cutest face while holding her bottle. I missed capturing it because I wasn't fast enough with the camera, but I got a similar picture yesterday in the car.

And, last but not least, we have a couple of new words. Cup. Thash (that is). And, bee beep (car). Utterly amazed.


Cheers!
mouse

07.19.10: The Mouse B&B is Open for Business

Dear Friends and Family,

What a wonderful serendipitous weekend. A friend and a tall friend wrote last week about an impromptu weekend in town. Yes! I needed a little light at the end of the tunnel. Last week was a tough week.

We converged in the burbs Friday night and opted to skip on the traffic and nosh on some Korean food before driving in. P fell asleep on the drive home after filling her belly with potatoes, carrots and more potatoes.

Saturday morning, I met Auntie J for a walk through the park and breakfast. Then, we spent the day at home playing with P. I think. Nothing big pops into my head. How quickly the details get forgotten.

Saturday evening we all went out to dinner together. And, then, in a sinfully decadent escape, I sent P home with Mr. mouse while I went out to have a couple of cocktails with friends. I still dream of bacon stuffed dates and dark and stormy cocktails and creme filled cupcakes.

I'm glad we had a chance to catch up, even if it meant Mr. mouse was home babysitting.

Oh, we napped on Saturday. That's right - we all slept the afternoon away. It was glorious. We all needed the sleep.

Sunday morning, we opted to take the bus to brunch, only the brunch place was packed and the rain was coming. So, we ducked into our favorite ice cream shop for dessert and to come up with a plan.

P got sleepy so Mr. mouse took her home and I went out for brunch with our friends. We got back, P was sleeping. Mr. mouse was sleeping. Mr. mouse woke up, I fell asleep. Not the best hosts here. We bagged on the museum and instead sent our friends off to the architectural tour.

We played with P and had dinner in. Then, I put P to bed. It was a nice end to a perfect weekend.

Tomorrow I'll write about the million and one new things our little toddler is doing.


Cheers!
mouse

Resilient Mouse

Dear Friends and Family,

I made it through another day at work. The meeting with my manager went fine.

P's up and having breakfast - banana bread and water.

I love you all, but I think I'll go join her.


Cheers!
mouse

Frustrated at Work

Dear Friends and Family,

It's been a tough week. Instead of getting to focus on my work, I feel like I've fallen down the rabbit hole and landed in some wonderland that is anything but wonderful.

Last fall, my manager asked me to make a major change in the way we run our business and since he's the boss and it seemed like a good decision, I moved mountains and made the change. We're still finishing up the dribs and drabs of the endeavor.

And, now, he's asked for a second major change. And, this one, like the last one, feels rushed and promises many months of heartache and headache. And, I'm feeling a little like who moved my cheese. And, if I'm feeling that way I'm certain everyone else is like STOP EFFING WITH MY CHEESE, YOU @#$%!.

Hence, I'm feeling burned out and wondering why I do what I do. Is it worth it? The time and energy for the money? I always come around to yes, it is - especially in this economy. But, I wonder, one day, will I wake up and say no, it isn't. I'll feel sorry for the people I work with when that day comes.


Cheers!
mouse

Consumer Price Index

Dear Friends and Family,

I know in the long run a negative CPI is a bad thing. Bad things happen when CPI is negative. People hoard money because it'll be worth more tomorrow than it is today. And, when people hoard money, everything grinds to a screeching halt. Okay, it's not that bad, but it isn't generally heralded as good news.

On the flip side, for our "retirement" model, a couple of months of low CPI certainly helps the long run numbers. So, I have to admit, for this Friday's June CPI release, I'm kinda sorta hoping for a low number.

That, and I think we're ready to open another retirement account. I think we're what J.D. Power would call a self-directed investor now (whereas we were probably a full service investor before).


Cheers!
mouse

Time with P

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night, as I was laying in bed, in the hazy land that is not quite awake and not quite asleep, I realized how quickly these toddler years will go. And, I realized I want to take a bigger part in P's daily routine.

Mr. mouse feeds her dinner. He puts her to sleep. He does most of the diapers. He does half of her baths.

I don't want to look back twenty years from now and realize I missed out on some precious memories. I don't think Mr. mouse will mind sharing dinner, sleep and diaper duty.

But, that brings to mind a larger question. Is living a life where one of my priorities is to avoid regrets later in life a good way to live? Seems like it's an emotionally safe way to live, but in making those choices am I missing out on other potentially more rewarding experiences? Or is the whole thing a crazy paradox at some point?

Something to ponder during my drive in. Happy Tuesday.


Cheers!
mouse

07.12.10: Weddings (2 of 3)

Dear Friends and Family,

We made it. After a couple of busts, we made it. P hasn't been the best traveler as of late. But, this time we made it out and back without incident.

Mr. mouse's step brother's wedding was this past weekend. It was at a small place in upstate New York. The wedding was in a small hollow by a burbling brook. The cocktail hour was in an old barn lit up with huge paper lanterns. Dinner was under a tent lit with four large chandeliers. I left inspired to want to do something similar on our roof deck. It was so beautiful.

Sunday, we flew back and spent the day at home with P. She napped, ate lunch, had a bath, played, went shopping, had milk, napped, ate dinner, and then fought Mr. mouse until 12:30 before falling asleep.

She's learned a new word. We call shoes shin bal which is Korean for shoes. Technically, according to google, it's gudu, but, we've been using shin bal. Well, P points to her shoes now and says bal whenever she sees her shoes. She loves wearing them and gets upset with us because we don't let her wear shoes inside the house.

She's also consistently using the word ba for both bottle (which is understandable) and cup (which is the same thing to her, I guess). She'll point to it and then say ba and then sometimes because she thinks we're not the sharpest tools in the shed she'll follow up with moa (more) in both verbal and sign language. Our little girl's growing up.

And, last but not least, she's unequivocally shown consistent play. We bought her a toy boat with two people. She takes the two people and puts them in the boat. If we take them out, she opens the boat and tosses them back in. She then takes the flag and the life boat and uses the flag as a spoon, mixing up something or other in the life boat which she uses as a bowl and tasting it occasionally. Too cute.

Day one in the new room. Time to get ready so I've got a couple of extra minutes with her.


Cheers!
mouse

Big Girl Room Transition: Day 4

Dear Friends and Family,

Last day of transition.

P goes to the toddler room after breakfast and stays there until pick up.

I'm going to try and do a slightly earlier than usual pick up so that she's not too frazzled by the time I get there.

Drum roll please... P drank all of her milk from her cup while at school yesterday. Yeah for P!

Seriously, if we had done this a couple of weeks ago, this week would have been a lot less stressful. It is what it is. All in all, I can't complain. P's been a champ with this transition.

Unfortunately, P's BFF hasn't been as happy with her transition. She's in the other toddler room and she's been a less enthusiastic about the whole toddler room routine. She's got a lot going on for a little girl - toddler room transition, new sibling on the way, her old BFF moving to a new room.

I'm glad I took the time over the past couple of weeks to take P to the toddler room in the morning and evenings during drop off and pick up to get her used to the idea. It took her a couple of visits to get used to space and be okay with sitting while I was in the room. Definitely time well spent.

Well, today's the day I need to do the last of the organization. P's diapers and wipes and cream should go over. I'll need to clean out her drawer and transfer it over to the toddler room. I'm sad and excited at the same time. It's kind of like moving.

And, one last round of thank you cards and gifts for the infant teachers for all that they've done for P.


Cheers!
mouse

Big Girl Room Transition: Day 3

Dear Friends and Family,

Two days down, two days to go. Slowly, but surely we're all transitioning this week.

The shoes. No problem. Girlfriend loves her shoes and protests when we take them off when we get home.

Milk. We've been mixing breast milk with whole milk. So far, so good. Last week was 3:1 which P drank without comment. This week is 1:1 which P drank yesterday without comment. Next week is 1:3. Then, we move on to regular whole milk. Any left over breast milk will be a weekend treat when it's convenient - if we're traveling or out and about or out of stock, she'll get whole. If there's four ounces lying around, she'll get breast. Life will be so much simpler than it is now.

Cup. Not bad. Not a stunning success. Surprisingly, P can't finish four ounces in a cup, but she can chug six ounces in a bottle. We've discontinued the bottle at school and on the weekend (mostly) so there's only one bottle to contend with - a new bottle we just added to the equation this week. Last Friday, it was bottle time on the drive home, and we were stuck in traffic and I was desperate. So, I reached back and gave P her bottle and she drank it in her safety chair and fell asleep and we all got home in one piece. So, Tuesday, I offered her her leftover milk in a bottle when I loaded her up in the car to head home. She drank it, but still woke at her usual time to protest the rest of the way home. Yesterday, I offered her her leftover milk again and she 1. almost fell asleep to the bottle and 2. protested from her usual time. Today, I think I'll offer the bottle when she wakes up. We'll see how it goes. As soon as she's forward facing, I'm okay switching this last bottle to a cup.

Room. It's been a little hectic this week dropping off things in three rooms (old room, new room, kitchen) and picking up things in three rooms (old room, new room, kitchen) and there's stuff to clarify and there's stuff to organize and just plain old stuff. But, it's going fine. P seems to be doing okay with the transition. At least that's what the teachers tell us. She's "sad" when she first gets to the room and then she adjusts and is fine for the rest of the time there. We don't know if "sad" is drama queen/frog eyed girl/bawling with head to the ground "sad" or it's just not totally happy. I guess there's no way to really know. Today she's in the new room from just after breakfast to nap time.

We all fell asleep last night after getting home. Time to scrounge up dinner and get girlfriend in the tub before heading out.


Cheers!
mouse

Big Girl Room Transition: Day 2

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, P spent two hours with the toddlers, after breakfast until before lunch, before returning to her comfort zone of the infant room.

From what I can gather, she did okay with the transition. She bawled for the first five minutes which was only to be expected of our little drama queen. Then, she found her BFF out on the playground and the two of them played with a toad and some leaves. She found her groove, I think, and was okay for the rest of her time, I think.

Today, she's in the room for three or so hours from after breakfast until after lunch, before returning to her comfort zone of the infant room.

My day was chock a block full of stuff yesterday so I didn't have a ton of time to worry about how P's day was going which was a good thing. There's only so much a helicopter mom can do in one day.


Cheers!
mouse

Big Girl Room Transition: Day 1

Dear Friends and Family,

After much prep (both emotional and physical), P starts her transition to the toddler room today.

We've got her big girl cup and her bug repellent and her clothes and her shoes and her towel all packed. She'll be going to school in her swimsuit for water days. And, she'll be sans bottle.

P's transition is a little more complicated than most toddlers' because she's still on combo milk (breast milk + whole milk) and she's on food from home. I guess other parents get to drop off their kids and the kitchen just switches their count from one room to the other. It's worth a little extra juggling for P to eat what we eat.

I think this week and next will be tough for all of us as we figure out a new routine and make the little adjustments that everyone makes when they transition.

Time to get ready for work. Leaving a little early today to have a little extra time at school.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: weekend was fun. my sister came up to visit. we sprinted through a bunch of museums hunting down elongated penny machines. we watched fireworks from the deck.

Jealousy

Dear Friends and Family,

We met up with a friend for dinner and I offered to hold the baby for a couple of minutes. Well, P comes back with Mr. mouse from her diaper change, and she's not having it. She was clearly not happy with the concept of another baby with her meh. I can't say I've ever seen her jealous before, but I can't say I've ever given her reason to be jealous before.

We got a good laugh out of it. The baby had fallen asleep so we put in his car seat. And, P jumped into my lap and shot everyone dirty looks.

Too funny.


Cheers!
mouse

Thursday

Dear Friends and Family,

One of the people I work closely with at work is moving. Yesterday was her last day.

And, because I'm picking up her work until they hire a new person, last night was my first night (of probably several nights) of working from home. I can't say I remember the alarm clock ringing this morning.

Well, I got a lot of stuff done so there is some gratification in that.

Two more days until the weekend.


Cheers!
mouse

Wednesday, Hump Day

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm tired.

There's so much going on with P. There's so much going on with work.

It's Wednesday. If I make it through today, tomorrow will be Thursday. If I make it through tomorrow, the next day will be Friday. If I make it home through the crazy traffic, it will be a long weekend.

I can do this.

Positive affirmation.

I can do this.

I feel like The Little Engine that Could - I think I can, I think I can.


Cheers!
mouse

More Transitions

Dear Friends and Family,

Apparently P did okay yesterday with her shoes and her cup. Yesterday, I packed her a 2 ounce cup and two 5 ounce bottles. Today, I packed a 3 ounce cup and two 4.5 ounce bottles. Tomorrow, if all goes well, I'll pack a 4 ounce cup and two 4 ounce bottles. And, then, we'll lose another bottle. And, theoretically, by 7/12 P will be bottle free when she transitions to the toddler room - which leaves milk and school room.

And, as coincidence would have it, we'll be tackling milk tomorrow. The freezer stock is now low enough that P won't have enough for her full day tomorrow. She'll get an 3:1 blend for a week; then, a 2:2 blend for a week; followed by a 1:3 blend for a week.

It feels sad to be transitioning. I never worried about breast milk - whether or not it was good for her. There's no agricultural council that profits from the sale of breast milk. There's no industrial agricultural machine that produces it. It's the ultimate local, craft micro-brew. And, now, P is done with that stage. She's growing up.

I know at some point between now and college she has to transition. And, I'm thrilled to be done with pumping at work. And, we're still nursing at home in the morning and evening. Still, there's a pang associated with transitioning. I guess I'm never very good with transitions.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow.


Cheers!
mouse

06.28.10: Preparing for Toddler Room

Dear Friends and Family,

Where did the weekend go?

Saturday, P and Mr. mouse went out to pick up mail while I spent the morning having coffee and waking up. It was a good thing I stayed home because I got a call from our Panama friends while they were out. Our friends were in town for the weekend and were checking on availability for dinner.

We headed out after P's nap to look at shoes for school. She needs shoes for the toddler room, so we figured we'd start her in them this week so she's not doing too many new things next week.

Sunday, the day disappeared to playing with P, checking out the farmer's market, going to Whole Foods to look for milk for P and naps for the family. At the current rate, the freezer stock will be gone sometime this week and P will need to transition to whole milk. Seriously, can more things go on at the same time, please?

I guess it's just shoes, cup, milk, and school room. But, it doesn't take much to make me feel overwhelmed nowadays.

Dinner Sunday night with our Panama friends. And, now it's Monday.


Cheers!
mouse

Big Girl Room

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse and I spent the morning at school with P. Well, not really with P. She was in her room while we were in the toddler rooms observing the mayhem and collecting data on which room to send P to once she transitions.

Ultimately, we picked the room with the teachers we liked vs. the room chock-a-block with children P already knows. We figure she'll still see her friends during early drop off, late pick up, and outside during daily play.

It was pretty amazing watching what the toddlers are capable of - putting their own bowls away, saying please, following verbal commands. Wow. P's going to be a big girl before we know it.


Cheers!
mouse

Who Are You? Oh, You're My Spouse

Dear Friends and Family,

I can see how it happens. After two decades raising the kids, two adults turn and look at each other and find a void, an odd feeling of do I know you because you look strangely familiar.

Mr. mouse and I had more than your average amount of time together before adding P to the mix. And, I thought we had a strong enough foundation to ensure a foolproof outcome. I've come to realize only a fool believes in foolproof. I'm not sure how, but, somehow we have to make sure we make the time and take the time to not become strangers.

Currently, our lives revolve around P and my crazy commute. Perhaps the answer to this is that the crazy commute has to go away.

I guess there are a couple of different ways to make this happen...

1. We could move, closer to my work. Mr. mouse could find public transportation options and I would have a shorter drive.

2. I could switch jobs, closer to home.

3. P could switch schools. I would take the train home. Mr. mouse would have drop off and pick up duties.

Selfishly, I don't think any of three options impact Mr. mouse as much as they impact me. So, if I were going to trade off our current home location, my job, and the couple of minutes I spend every day with P... I think I would pick the third option, once P is a little older. Perhaps that is what this comes down to, somewhere in the next year or so we should evaluate our options and see where we are. Who knows, I might land on option 1. if we can't figure out the schooling question.


Cheers!
mouse

What Happened...

Dear Friends and Family,

Late April we had to take P to the hospital. I don't think I have ever been more scared in my entire life.

We were at the airport when I noticed that P was developing a rash. She had a fever and was irritable and fussy. We called the doctor's office and they recommended going to the hospital vs. continuing home.

We rented a car to drive to the hospital, and on the drive P's breathing got really shallow and she became really lethargic, not responding to our calling for her or our not so gentle nudges. I ended up running into the emergency room with her in my arms.

The triage nurse took all of the typical vitals and admitted P - her rash had gotten worse, her fever had gotten worse, and her oxygen levels were low. We waited a couple of minutes in the waiting room and then headed into our room for the day.

The doctor ordered more tests. And, P was strapped to a monitor to track her pulse and her oxygen. They kept us for the test results, the fever, and because her pulse was running high. P was pretty out of it for most of the evening, but she was a trooper - not putting up much of a fight, except when they had to set her up for her IV. The IV made her all puffy, and I remembered, quite nostalgically, that she looked like a newborn again.

In the end, it all worked out okay. They released us from the hospital late that night. We drove to a hotel, slept for a couple of hours, and got home the next day. The rash went away in a couple of days. And, our Wolverine was as good as new.

And, that, my friends, was our first trip to emergency room with P.


Cheers!
mouse

Money Model Updates

Dear Friends and Family,

Nothing like tracking something to make yourself obsessed with the numbers.

I'm not sure if I wrote about it (and I'm too lazy to check), but I built a model a little over a month ago to track our retirement plan. It looks at a couple of very simple metrics (e.g. inflation, investment, and investment growth), but in a slightly different way. Instead of building one model, I built two models - a best case and a worst case. Each month I update the numbers to see how we're tracking - so past months reflect the same actuals and future months reflect two different forecasts, essentially.

New inflation numbers just came out and and our worst case monthly investment amount went down $21/month and our best case monthly investment amount went down by $32/month. Next week I get to update investment growth numbers.

I must be an odd duck. I'm enjoying this more than any normal person should.


Cheers!
mouse

06.21.10: Father's Day

Dear Friends and Family,

The weekend was a weekend of scurrying for Mr. mouse. A late conference call on Friday led to an early conference call on Saturday which fortunately did not morph into an office visit on Saturday or an office visit on Sunday, but instead to a late conference call on Sunday. Wonderful.

Saturday morning, P and I went out for a walk while Mr. mouse watched the house cleaners. It was a lovely morning and P spent the walk intently watching the changing scenery in front of her. We stopped by the park on the way home; then, we picked up Mr. mouse and headed out for brunch.

Saturday afternoon was spent at Toys R Us / Babies R Us picking up P's "big girl safety chair" since she's become bored with the safety pod. The new seat lets her look out the window and gives her more room. Unfortunately, at her current growth trend, she'll be backward facing until she's almost a year old. Poor P. She was playing in her seat at home Saturday night, refusing to get out of it. It was quite cute to say the least.

Sunday morning we surprised Mr. mouse with his Beh's Day gift. P made him a card and the teachers at school made him a mug. I made him a rattle filled with Pepsi MLB caps good for one free baseball cap of his choice. And, I gave him a certificate good for a baseball outing a year with P.

We hit the grocery store. Then, we met up with Mr. mouse's friends for a day at the aquarium. We had dinner at home then everyone turned in a little early for the night. And, now it's Monday and I need to scurry to get ready for work.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Noticed two more teeth beginning to sprout, I think, on the bottom, one on each side of the two center teeth.

06.18.10: P's First F1 Race

Dear Friends and Family,

After a little bit of a hiccup, we had a fun weekend. Then, I had a work trip followed by sleep catch up. And, now, it's Friday and I need to catch up on the weekend before the next one comes our way.

We made it out, stand by on a later flight, Friday afternoon, to Ottawa. From Ottawa, we rented a car and drove to Montreal. It was a long day, but we made it there in one piece. Almost.

P felt warm when I felt her while she was sleeping. And, the next morning she threw up after breakfast. And, she was warm enough at the track that I bought some infant Tylenol on the way home which she had Saturday night, most of the day Sunday, and then Monday morning. She also developed a lovely rash on her belly. Our only hope is she didn't feel compelled to share any of this with her two friends in Montreal.

P slept through qualifying. She watched about two thirds of the race either in the stands with us or down below being walked by either Mr. mouse or me. Overall, I'd consider it a success although neither Mr. mouse nor I followed the race closely enough to understand anything that really happened.

We had a quiet night in both nights - lobster and salmon the first night and lobster and steak the second night. And, after an uneventful trip home, we had sushi Monday night while P was sleeping.

I'm looking forward to seeing our friends again when they come out for the marathon.


Cheers!
mouse

Buying Time

Dear Friends and Family,

Off for an early morning trip. Will try to catch up this week.


Cheers!
mouse

New Process Needed

Dear Friends and Family,

And, now, I have to vent.

I'm a big fan of being packed before going to sleep at night. Mr. mouse is of the "we can take of it in the morning" philosophy. Well, this morning, we both missed the alarm clock and we couldn't. So, it's a bit of a monkey wrench. Truth be told, more than a bit since our flight leaves in 45 minutes and we're still at home.

Onward and forward.


Cheers!
mouse

Breather

Dear Friends and Family,

Hooray!

P did nothing new yesterday. And, instead of catching up on the miraculous other things she's been doing, I'm going to take a moment to write about me.

I think... It sounds... Like... A... Perfect... Moment... For... A.... (Drum Roll Please)... Top Three Update!

Well, #1 is easy. It's P. But, enough about her. We all know how the mouse household world continues to revolve around her.

#2: CHAOS. Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. Fly Lady believes it's a matter of 15 minutes a day. Currently, what's working for us is cleaning service. They come every two weeks so the floors and toilets never get gross. And, with us spending the time organizing before they come to clean, we're making progress on the piles of stuff everywhere symptom that are a clear indicator of chaos. We've never let it stop us from having anyone over, but it feels fabulous to be making progress on house clutter.

#3: retirement - I built a "simple" model in Excel that looks at both a best case and worst case investment scenario. In the best case, we can retire in eight years. In the worst case, we're working for a lot longer than that. Each month, I update the numbers and Mr. mouse and I review our progress. We promised ourselves we would be more active in planning out our finances now that P is older. This is my contribution to keeping us honest.

Okay. Time to shower.


Cheers!
mouse

P's Growing Vocabulary (1 of Many)

Dear Friends and Family,

At some point this will be something P will want to look back at.

Meh: Mommy
Beh: Daddy

moa: more (week of June 6, 2010)
baa: bottle (week of June 6, 2010)
boh: ball (week of June 6, 2010)

a funny "Darth Vader" sound: hhoorr whenever she's exerting effort or playing with animals (week of May 30, 2010)


Cheers!
mouse

More

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry. Blogger was down yesterday morning.

Sunday night, P and I were playing on the rug. I had two balls in a plastic container that I was shaking like a rattle. She kept looking at me and saying moa, moa. Sounded like more, but without the r. So, I shook the rattle more. But, she shook her head no and said moa, moa - looking at me in a questioning way - like when you travel and you're saying something in another language and you're not sure if you're saying it right.

So, I said it back to her in a questioning tone. Moa? Moa? And she smiled and made the baby sign language hand gesture for more. At which point Mr. mouse and I were on cloud 9000 - P's third word! More!

We were besides ourselves trying to figure out what she wanted more of. We figured good behavior should be rewarded with positive feedback. Clearly it wasn't dinner since she ate a little bit of everything and seemed full. Mr. mouse started walking with her in the kitchen while we thought about it. Then, she came to me, looked at me, and said moa, moa while making the hand gesture.

Well, there's only one thing meh can provide that beh can't. So, even if it wasn't P's typical feeding time, I picked her up and started carrying her upstairs. She was giddy and so were we.


Cheers!
mouse

I Dream of Binky

Dear Friends and Family,

I promise, at some point, to revert back to writing about me - once the rocket trajectory of change that is P levels off.

Binky. P didn't like it for the first couple of months. But, by the time she started school, she liked it enough to want it during nap time and for the car rides. We'd have to prop it up for her on the car rides so that it didn't fall out. Then, sometime shortly thereafter, she fell in love with it, and if you offered it, she would take it. And, she didn't need any help keeping it in either.

Sometime in the distant past we weaned her off of her binky for the morning commute. Then, we weaned her off of her binky for the evening commute. But, once the traffic started getting bad, I caved and let her have it on the way home again.

Well, last week, Tuesday, one of the teachers offered trying to nap her without it. And, P went down for her daily nap without it. I shrugged and thought about it and drove her home without it. I tried putting her down for the night without it and she was okay. And, so began the daily adventure... would she make it through the next day without her binky? And, now, after a week, it seems like it's a thing of the past.

Except, I'm having binky withdrawal. Over the weekend, she picked up her empty bottle and starting sucking on it and it was clear it was soothing - like her binky. And, I remember how happy she was when I used to offer it to her on the way home. I'd strap her into her safety pod (aka the car seat) and then offer it to her. She'd take it, orient it, pop it in her mouth, and then be ready for her toy and the ride home. And, I remember packing her bag together in the afternoon. She'd hand me the stuff for her bag. And, when she came across her binky, she'd nonchalantly pop it in her mouth and move onto the next item to hand over.

I was never sure if it was a selfish, egocentric well, if I want it I get it. Or a I'm just putting this in its proper place. Or a as long as no one notices or says anything I'll do it. Or a don't mind me. Or a number of different attributable expressions. I just know, I miss it. And, I never thought to video tape it. And, now, it's a thing of the past. I think.

Well, P misses her binky. Meh misses P's binky. But, I guess we all need to move on and grow up and enjoy the new fun things - like that fact that P loves her lift-the-flap books now.


Cheers!
mouse

Even More Toddler Tricks

Dear Friends and Family,

P's been on a tear - doing new things faster than I can document.

Thursday, we took the afternoon off to take P out to the ball game. And, in exchange, she showed us pointing, and clapping, and wiping down a surface with a napkin.

Then, over the weekend, she spent some time with Mr. mouse, playing three card monte. This is a classic street game. We have three bowls turned upside down. Under one bowl is a ball. We show her the ball, shuffle the bowls, and then let her guess where the ball is. Surprisingly, P is very good at this.

Also, over the weekend, P showed us that she can use a spoon by herself. It's a little messy, but it's definitely a skill she's willing to practice because she likes most foods that require a spoon (yogurt, applesauce, jar food, pudding).

And, because you can't be a toddler without asserting some independence - P's learned drop and see if your parents pick it up for you. And, throwing food on the floor if she doesn't want it - one piece at a time. And, while it's adorable, the no head shake is coming a little more frequently than we'd prefer.

Last night, when P was tired, we had banging and throwing of toys which is apparently the new rubbing eyes and yawning. And, I saved the best for last. Over the weekend, when she got a little excited, P bit me. Several times. Twice on the shoulder, twice on the arm, and once on the cheek. She hasn't bitten anyone else. And, we didn't have any repeat incidents last night. So, let's hope it's something that was a one time incident.

All caught up - which in P's world is two arms held up and waving for all done now.


Cheers!
mouse

Waking Sweetly

Dear Friends and Family,

P got up early this morning so we did our usual routine - bring her into our room, feed her, let her sleep the rest of the night with us. She doesn't do it frequently so we haven't made a stink about it becoming a bad habit.

Well, this morning when I awoke, I looked over and she was awake, looking at the ceiling and just lying there. She never lies still anymore. So, it was nice just watching her.

Eventually, I had to get up. But, it was nice just to have a couple of minutes this morning of watching her watching the world - like a newborn.


Cheers!
mouse

Sleep, Blessed Sleep

Dear Friends and Family,

I think I'm ready to sleep again.

Remember my grand social experiment? I'm sure you don't.

Once P started sleeping through her 10:30PM feeding session, I started pumping at 10:30 and skipping a pumping session at work. It worked like a charm from a work perspective, but wreaked a small bit of havoc from a sleep perspective.

On most normal nights, I fall asleep around 9:30. Mr. mouse wakes me somewhere between 10:30 and 11:30. I pump. I hydrate. I spend a bit of time chatting with Mr. mouse and getting back in sleep mode. I go to sleep somewhere between midnight and one. The alarm clock rings at four.

I've been winding down that last session. And, next week I'm slated to go down to six minutes. And, I think I'll start doing that at 9:30 and just going to sleep after that.


Cheers!
mouse

Remembering and Catching Up

Dear Friends and Family,

Ah, time to catch up from our trip in April. The one that landed us at the hospital on the way back. I'll see how far I get and I'll pick up where I leave off another time.

Here's my scribble scratch:

• poopy diaper
• pulling out wipes
• no interest in older toys
• new sitting positions
• waking by self
• smile when milk time
• sand :(, ocean :(, nap :)
• sunset
• stranger anxiety

and more notes:

• stand
• buoyancy
• cut on face
• loss of binky
• giddiest with us

Wow, that's a lot to cover.

poopy diaper: We were in the hotel room and I thought I smelled one. I walked over to P to take a peek. Usually it's a false alarm and I get to peek at cute baby butt. But, this time it was filled and brimming and threatening imminent disaster. Mr. mouse came over and we diagnosed our options in averting such said disaster. We twisted and turned and assessed and ultimated kept her standing while we cleaned her up. Disaster averted. P looked at us kinda funny like she was trying to figure out why we didn't do the usual routine. That only made the whole incident that much funnier.

pulling out wipes: While we were packing, we left P to play with her toys. She discovered her wipes and figured out how to open the pack. She pulled out a bunch of wipes one at a time. She hadn't ever done that before nor has she done it since. It was just a classic parent moment - baby surrounded by wipes, patiently pulling out the next one, a look of cause and effect on her face as she goes. We laughed some more and put the wipes back in.

no interest in older toys: P's lost interest in her six month toys - mostly rattles with no sound, just bright colors to look at. Guess it's time for us to pack them away to make room for new toys.

new sitting positions: P was a butt on floor, legs in front of her baby. Now, she's got a ton of random positions with her legs tucked under her bent back at the knees, on one knee with the other leg half up to get into a standing position more easily, with both legs bent and her butt floating like an old Asian grandmother... wherever her legs happen to be is fine with her now.

waking by self: I'm drawing a blank. There are times when P can wake now without necessarily crying. This is what I must have been referring to. I'm not 100% sure.

Okay. Five down, many more to go. Will write more later. Should go shower and get ready for work.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: P hasn't had her pacifier for two days now. I kind of miss her happy pacifier face and the cute way she eagerly grabbed for it, orienting it before putting in her mouth, taking a couple of quick drags, and then resuming whatever it was she was doing before. I'd love to give it back just to see the face, but I'm resisting. One of us has to be an adult in this relationship and I guess for now that's my job.

More Toddler Tricks

Dear Friends and Family,

Wow, I'm glad I took my work trip last week instead of this week. P's been busy doing new things this week and I can hardly keep on top of it all.

There's phone. This weekend, P was playing with the phone pretending she was making a phone call. Then, she was playing with the remote pretending she was making a phone call. Then, she was playing with a block pretending she was making a phone call. Then, she was playing with another hard toy (it might have been a lion or a toy golf ball) pretending she was making a phone call. Then, she was playing with a napkin pretending she was making a phone call. It was too funny and too cute.

Then, there's no. She's begun shaking her head no when she doesn't want something. Tuesday morning, when Mr. mouse had her packed in her safety pod (aka the car seat), he offered her a toy. Previously she took whatever we offered. But, yesterday she was like a prima donna pitcher, shaking her head no before finally settling on a toy she'd accept.

Then, we've had the binky progression. She got through her nap at school without one. We skipped one for the ride home. And, she went to bed last night without it. I sang to her and tapped her on her back instead. I'll pack one for school today, but hopefully she can nap without it. We'll see.

And, last but not least, she's learned pack bag. Last night for play we put all her toys and whatever other miscellaneous objects were lying around into a small bag. Then we dumped it all out and did it all over again.

It's been a busy couple of days with our P. Her brain is like a sponge, taking it all in and processing it all and reinterpreting it and translating it and then trying it all out on her own.


Cheers!
mouse

One Small Step...

Dear Friends and Family,

P had a busy day yesterday.

She practiced with a cup (by herself) at school.

She put two and two together during bath time when she was playing with a cup in her bath and decided she was thirsty and went for a drink (no worries, we didn't let her drink the bath water).

She splashed and splashed and splashed some more.

She started peeing while I was toweling her off, looked down at her leg to check out why it felt warm, figured it out, finished peeing anyway.

And, drum roll please, after we finished packing her bag at school, she took a couple of steps before stumbling into my arms.

We practiced walking in her room before trying to put her to bed, so that Mr. mouse could see P in action.

And, last but not least, she learned that if she cried long enough, Mr. mouse will pick her up, bring her downstairs, and give her an evening snack. Beh and P had pasta and applesauce while I napped last night.

Like I said, P had a busy day yesterday.


Cheers!
mouse

05.24.10: Clearing Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

There are those who think clear desk, empty mind... or something along those minds. I'm the opposite, a clear desk (and clear inbox) allows a clear mind because I'm not focused on the million and one little gotchas. I can focus on the big rocks that drive my business.

And, the same goes for home. For me, there's NOTHING better than a clean house. And, Mr. mouse, wonderful spouse that he is, bought me housecleaning service for my Mother's Day gift. That means I have every motivation to get organized (since it's tough for cleaners to clean around the clutter) and once I'm organized I stay organized (how disorganized can you get in two weeks?) and once I'm organized I'm done (because someone else will do the cleaning). We had cleaners at the mouse Winter Cabin and I loved it. Can you tell I'm a big fan?

Well, we had the first cleaning this past Saturday and it feels wonderful. There's still more organizing to do on our side, and some optimizing on their side, but, it feels wonderful. On the financing side, I've decided to kick in for the present. I'm cancelling my defunct gym membership and my caffeine addicted coffee habit and that'll leave us close to cash neutral on the cleaning. Sad, but true.

Sunday, we went for ramen brunch. And, we gorged on Japanese noodle. So yummy.

P has been busy with two new developments. This week we noticed a fifth tooth (aka chomper) coming in. Upper right, next to her big tooth. And, she's been practicing giving kisses. Granted they're huge, slobbering kisses, but they're precious nonetheless.


Cheers!
mouse

The Trip Out

Dear Friends and Family,

Silly me. Did I really think I would spend today ranting and raving when I have so much more to write about?

I'm on my first trip without P.

I flew out last night after dinner. I'm here today and half of tomorrow. I fly back in time to see P before she goes to bed on Wednesday, assuming my flight lands on time.

Mr. mouse met P and me at the airport last night. We had dinner. Then, we walked to the gate together. P was getting tired so I offered to have Mr. mouse drive her home rather than wait the last 15 minutes with me at the gate. So, I got to watch them walking through the terminal before boarding.

Mr. mouse was walking. And, P was looking over his shoulder. She was so small, but with two giant eyes staring back at me. And, they both got smaller and smaller until my view was blocked intermittently, and then they turned the corner and left. And, I was all alone to board the plane.

Landed okay. Got the car okay. Got to the hotel okay. Checked in okay. Pumped okay. Fell asleep, but slept lightly. And, here I am.

The highlight of it all? Mr. mouse sent me two pictures of P for when I landed. It was so good to see her "real time."


Cheers!
mouse

05.17.10: Birthday Party Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

WARNING: I'm annoyed. If you're looking for shiny happy blog entry, I'd skip ahead to another blog or come back another day.

Okay. Let's start at the beginning.

My parents flew in on Friday for the weekend for P's birthday. They took a cab out to the office. We ate lunch together. I dropped them off to spend the afternoon with P.

My dad is on antibiotics for a cold (I know, that makes NO sense, but, that's what his doctor prescribed. That's what he's on). So, he shakes P's hand and then proceeds to spend the rest of the afternoon in the hallway so that he doesn't get anyone sick. Okay.

My mom is dying to spend quality time with P. She's frenetic in her desire to play with P. She's a little scary in her enthusiasm and P's having none of it. She proceeds to cry the afternoon away. And, we all know how P can cry - nonstop, for hours on end. And, she's convinced her BFFs to cry. So, there's three of them, in a circle, crying their lungs out, and my mom sitting in the corner. At which point, I decide to bag the afternoon and pick everyone up and head home.

We eat Italian for dinner because my dad wants lasagna. Then, my mom watches from the corner while P copes with the extra people in the house.

We make it through the evening in one piece.

Saturday. We wake somewhere between 7:30 and 8:30. Party is slated for 1:00. Ready? We come downstairs to find my dad on the couch. He's not feeling well. He wants to go home. He's ranting and raving he should have never come out in the first place except my mom made him. Ordinary people would be worried at this point because ordinary people don't know my dad. He's complaining that he can't breathe. We're like, seriously, you need us to drop everything and figure out a way to get you home? Cause, it's not like we has anything planned for this morning? Whatever.

We convince him to wait until my mom wakes up.

My mom sees right through him. But, she calls her friend who is a doctor to ask her to prescribe an inhalant for my dad. Coddle. Coddle. Coddle. So, now, Mr. mouse's top priority becomes finding a pharmacist and getting my dad's prescription filled when all he wants to do is get mail (thwarted Friday when I refused to be left alone another second with the circus). And, wouldn't you know it, in the interim while he's hunting down the prescription, there's an accident en route to the mailbox that makes a quick in and out a more significant to do. He's annoyed.

My mom figures she may as well make herself useful and begins cleaning and tidying. P decides to take a nap which is a lifesaver. I begin cleaning and tidying. My dad asks to borrow Mr. mouse's after shave. Mr. mouse doesn't use after shave. My dad is annoyed. He walks out in a huff to buy after shave. Whatever.

Everyone converges around 11. Mr. mouse is happy. My mom is happy. P is well rested and happy. My sister drove up and is happy. The house is ready. I am happy. My dad is fed. He is happy.

We have a wonderful party. Everyone shows up right at 1:00. My mom plays with every other baby in the house. We eat cupcakes, we play with toys, we laugh with parents. We distribute favors. Life is good.

We're all in wind down mode when my dad came up from the basement where he napped during the party. I don't know what his problem is. Actually, I can venture to guess at a macro level. But, I refuse to acknowledge the mean and petty and pathetic micro level specifics of a case by case incident. Well, he launches into my sister and me about we're not sensitive. We're not being nice to him. We're not sympathetic to his needs. Woe is me. My life is so difficult and no one has the courtesy to ask. This is the worst "hospitality" I've ever received ever. I've never felt less welcome anywhere.

Now, if I were 12 years old, I'd have run crying to my room. But, I'm like, what, almost 40? I'm ready to storm out, but then I remember, wait, I live here. I'm ready to kick him out, but then I figure that'll sour everyone's mood for the weekend and make it unredeemable. I swallow and listen and walk away. PISSED.

We all go out to dinner. My mom makes strides with P. We turn in for the night.

The next morning. It's the same old routine. He needs bread, he needs water, he needs butter. Can he do nothing? He launches into my sister and me again. This time while I'm holding P. Again, I refuse to even care what triggered this one. But, I'm clear with my mom and my sister. I'm done. I'll not have that language and that tone of voice in the house. I can blow it off. Mr. mouse will get annoyed, but he can blow it off. P can not. She'll learn stuff that I have no interest in her learning. MOMMA MOUSE IS MOVING TO PROTECT HER YOUNG. WORLD BEWARE.

My mom and my sister know where this is headed. They know when I've hit a breaking point. More importantly, my mom knows I will have no problem sharply curtailing or skipping holidays at home and keeping P here or hitting the road over the holidays. She knows I'm fine being selective in my invites. I'm explicit. If dad can't control his mouth, he has no business being in my house or anywhere near Pioneer forever.

My mom suggests getting bacon cause "your dad will like bacon" and eating in. So, my sister and Mr. mouse head out for bacon. We cook breakfast in. My mom heads to church. We head to the doctor's office for P's one year check up. My sister heads home. My dad stays home to rest and sulk.

We head out for the afternoon because it's a nice day out and we figure my dad will enjoy it. P warms to my mom. We make it through the evening in one piece. My mom and dad are headed home today. I am headed on my first business trip since P was born.

...

Okay. Grammar on this is a mess. I'll revisit tomorrow to fix it. And, I'll continue where I left off on where my head is at on all of this.


Cheers!
mouse

Managing the Afternoon

Dear Friends and Family,

Time to be a little selfish again.

I'm going to tackle the next two time blocks. I've allotted myself a "sensible" snack between 2 and 4. What's sensible? 2 Weight Watchers points (roughly 100 calories), real food only. And, then only 0 point drinks from 4 to 6. Which means I've got a plan for the afternoon. It feels good to be "in control" again. Why let peanut m&ms and animal crackers run your life?

Twenty Four Hours of Food

midnight to 2AM
2AM to 4AM
4AM to 6AM
6AM to 8AM
8AM to 10AM
10AM to noon
noon to 2PM		water zone
2PM to 4PM		sensible snack (2 points, real food only)
4PM to 6PM		0 point beverages only
6PM to 8PM
8PM to 10PM
10PM to midnight

Three down, nine to go.


Cheers!
mouse

May Our Former Owners Rot in Heck

Dear Friends and Family,

Make that four nights now that P's been up - either past her bed time or getting up in the middle of the night.

And, make it something like two weeks of bad dreams about work and life.

And, I wake to the joy of water coming in. Guess the caulking (which seemed to have done the job) wasn't the fix.

May our former owners rot in heck - not hell, which seems a bit much, even for lying on your disclosure form. But, Dilbert's heck seems like it's fair game.


Cheers!
mouse

Busy Birthday

Dear Friends and Family,

We had an action packed day yesterday.

P woke up. We fed her. We took her one year photos. We had breakfast pancakes. P played with her toys. P napped. We fed her leftover bouillabaisse. We opened presents. P learned to climb the stairs. We took more photos. We sang happy birthday and weighed P. We did hand and foot prints to compare against the ones from the hospital. We had cake. We went to the supermarket to pick up treats for school (they need to be commercially prepared with ingredients listed). We went to a restaurant by the hospital where we got take out from last year for dinner. We ate. We went to the hospital (where we got in when someone exited) and took some memorial shots. P fell asleep. We wrote our next letters to each other.

Then, apparently, while I slept. Mr. mouse and P mastered the travel cup, ate prunes and apple sauce, played, and then took a bath. Huh.

Needless to say, it was an amazing day. I'm glad we got to take the day off and spend it with P. Back to work. And, time to start planning the birthday party for this weekend.


Cheers!
mouse

05.11.10: One Year Ago Today

Dear Friends and Family,

P is having round III of breakfast. She had milk. Then, she had pancakes with the option of bananas and fish. Now she's having jar food and apple sauce with Mr. mouse.

A year ago today we were in the hospital napping, writing and playing Scrabble. I had already gotten my epidural and they had broken my water. I was scared that something could go wrong and worried that I would miss my little P once she was born.

So many times during the first year felt so perfect I wished I could freeze time at that moment forever. But, then, the future moments were so perfect I realized if I could have frozen time I'd have never seen the future moments. So, now, I'm okay with time passing and perfect moments being replaced by perfect moments - like last night, when P was practicing standing and was all grins as we cheered her on.

And, mouse, what about me?

I made it to the one year mark for breastfeeding. I'll be done with the daytime pumping later this week. Then, I'll be done with the evening pumping sometimes in June and can sleep through the night.

I still have about 20 pounds to lose which I can now get started on.

I had a lovely dinner Saturday night and Sunday night and pancake brunch Sunday afternoon with Mr. mouse and P for a wonderful Mother's Day weekend. And, to cap it off, Mr. mouse had a couple come to give a quote on housecleaning services - his Mother's Day gift to me.

Work is good. I'm enjoying the opportunity to do the work I do with people I enjoy working with. And, they pay me to boot.

All in all, I'm thankful for all that's been given to me and realize how fortunate I've been in being able to enjoy the past year.


Cheers!
mouse


PS: still looking for the scrap of paper from our Florida weekend to recount the details of that trip and our detour in Texas.

Crouching P, Sleeping Baby

Dear Friends and Family,

Ah, the frenzy to capture the minutiae of the first year before P turns one...

The sleep routine:

We let P play downstairs until she turns clumsy on us, starts rubbing her eyes, or literally lies down on the rug to go to sleep. Then, I pick her up and give her four kisses and a big hug. I hand her over to Mr. mouse who takes her upstairs. He changes her diaper and changes her into her pajamas. He reads her a book and then gives P her pacifier. He lays her in bed and if it's cold out covers her with a blanket. We say good night. We leave the room - dimmer light on, door closed.

Before we go to bed, we check in on her. Inevitably, she's moved to a new position on the mattress and she's crouched on her belly, elbows, arms, knees, legs all tucked in under her, butt in the air.

We watch her for a few minutes before leaving the door open and going to bed ourselves.


Cheers!
mouse

Notes on P

Dear Friends and Family,

P and I have the funniest routine each afternoon when I pick her up at school.

She sees me. She crawls to me with the biggest smile on her face. She climbs up and give me a huge hug. She climbs into my lap. She picks up my badge. She looks at the picture and says meh. Then, she looks at me and looks back at the picture. When she's done checking my id, she gives me a giant hug.

That is the best motivation to get work done and get over to see my P.


Cheers!
mouse

Milestones

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, I finally caught P standing on "film." And, for giggles, she decided to climb into her drawer at school when we were packing her bag. And, to top it off, to scale the bouncy chair that had been sitting neglected in her room.

And, on the other extreme, this morning, I got my first email ever from my Dad. He made a card for P for her birthday. So cute.


Cheers!
mouse

05.03.10: And Then We Played Some More

Dear Friends and Family,

In a twisted sort of way, with hindsight being 20/20 and since it seems like P's fine now, I'm glad we got to spend the extra time with P last weekend. With Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and part of Wednesday + Saturday and Sunday of this past weekend together, it's been almost a full week together, or at least it feels that way - time with our baby before she transitions to being a toddler.

And, during that time, we got to see lots of firsts, which I WILL document between now and her birthday - some big ones and some small ones. I'm glad we got to spend the time together and enjoy the bliss that has been our days for the past year before making the jump into year two. If you know me, you know I get sentimental around life stage changes.

This weekend?

Saturday, we slept in, we played, we cleaned up a little bit, we went for a walk to order P's birthday cake, play in the park, buy bread, and pick up lunch, and then we played some more.

Sunday, we slept in, we took photos, we played, I called my sister, we cleaned up a bit, we ordered cupcakes for P's birthday party, we went for a walk to eat brunch, and then we played some more.

And, that was it. After a flurry of travel (all of April if you think about it), we had a quiet weekend at home to kick off the month long celebration of P (almost all of May if you think about it).

And, my big goal this week is to stick to my commitment: noon to 2PM, water only.


Cheers!
mouse

Thinking about Wellness

Dear Friends and Family,

Time to be a little selfish and begin thinking about me again.

I promised myself that I'd give myself until P turned one before tackling losing the baby weight. Why? Well, because I found that milk supply dropped when I was losing weight. Now that she's drinking water as well as milk and there's enough in the freezer to last until P turns one, I've got a lot more flexibility and I'm beginning to think about how to tackle losing the baby weight.

I can do a lackadaisical approach, cross my fingers, and hope. I can jump back on the Weight Watchers bandwagon. Or, I can do something in between. I think I'll start with the in between and go back to Weight Watchers if I'm not seeing the results.

Here's what I'm thinking... I think I'm going to break the day into two hour chunks and work my way back into weight loss. That way I'm making small changes throughout the day vs. tackling it all at once which I don't think I have the mental bandwidth to do right now.

Twenty Four Hours of Food

midnight to 2AM
2AM to 4AM
4AM to 6AM
6AM to 8AM
8AM to 10AM
10AM to noon
noon to 2PM
2PM to 4PM
4PM to 6PM
6PM to 8PM
8PM to 10PM
10PM to midnight

There. That doesn't seem so crazy. And, I think I know which time bucket I'm going to tackle first. noon to 2PM. That's when I eat random candy in the office, especially from the candy dish by the new moms' rooms. noon to 2PM is a good option for a water zone where I've got my water bottle to slake my thirst and the knowledge that I've just eaten to manage my hunger.

Twenty Four Hours of Food

midnight to 2AM
2AM to 4AM
4AM to 6AM
6AM to 8AM
8AM to 10AM
10AM to noon
noon to 2PM		water zone
2PM to 4PM
4PM to 6PM
6PM to 8PM
8PM to 10PM
10PM to midnight

One down, eleven to go.


Cheers!
mouse

Back to Our Routine

Dear Friends and Family,

P got the all clear yesterday to return to school today. I'm not sure anyone knows what caused Monday's hiccup so I'm not sure anyone knows if it'll happen again and what we should do if it does. I guess you have to get used to not knowing everything you might want to know.

So, today, we're all back to our routine. P at school. Mr. mouse and me at work.


Cheers!
mouse

04.28.10: Details to Come

Dear Friends and Family,

Weekend write up and P write up all to come.

Here's the cliff notes version:

1. family flies to Naples, Florida for wedding
2. family drives to Miami to see friends
3. family gets on flight to return home
4. baby gets sick during layover in Houston
5. family drives to hospital
6. baby gets well enough to be discharged
7. family drives to airport
8. family gets on flight to return home
9. parents in wait and watch mode

Happy Wednesday!


Cheers!
mouse

Leaps and Bounds

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night, P made a bunch of mental connections. She saw me drop her yellow ball into her red cup and she crawled over for a look. She peered into the cup and smiled when she saw the ball. She picked up the cup to shake the ball around. She went after the ball when it rolled or jumped out of the cup and put it back in. AND, when she wanted the ball, she stuck her hand into the cup and grabbed it vs. tipping it out of the cup the way she had been doing.

I feel like she made the transition from baby to toddler last night even if we officially have a few more weeks to go.


Cheers!
mouse

Earth Day 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

Earth Day 2010 - what are you doing to make a difference?

Well, um, over the past year, I haven't been the model green citizen with driving P to school, using disposable diapers, turning on the AC and the heat for P, and becoming lazy about thinking of new ways to be green.

Hmmm... And, I'm off for an early start today at the office. I'll have to think on this one.


Cheers!
mouse

Peek a Boo

Dear Friends and Family,

P woke up on the right home last night. And, I decided to pull over and feed her and have Mr. mouse meet us for dinner.

We went out for Peruvian. And, surprise, surprise, P is a fan of the beef stew. After eating, she was sitting on Mr. mouse's lap while Mr. mouse and I finished our dinners.

She was playing with Mr. mouse's napkin when Mr. mouse realized she was playing peek a boo with us. At which point, dinner was effectively over because I couldn't resist playing peek a boo back, laughing at her and hiding behind my napkin. She was so happy, it made all of our evenings.

I'm glad P is generally a happy baby.


Cheers!
mouse

Short Week

Dear Friends and Family,

Monday down. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday to go.

Then, I have Friday off to spend with P. One down, three to go.

Been waiting for inspiration and now it's time to get ready for work.


Cheers!
mouse

04.19.10: Stranger Anxiety

Dear Friends and Family,

Our almost one year old.

Saturday, during bath time, we noticed that P has a new mole, on her upper thigh/lower butt. At first, we thought it was just dirty, but after scrubbing, we realized it was a new mole. Huh. Not even twelve months old and she has two moles already.

The other thing we noticed was that she's yellowing. When P was exclusively breastfed she had a pale beauty to her complexion. Now that she's eating a variety of foods and getting some sun in the car on the commute, she's gotten a sun kissed glow about her.

And, last but not least, when she was done with bath, she was playing by the edge of the tub with my shampoo bottles. I know, this is wrong on so many fronts. But, we were both watching her super closely. Well, the bottles fell into the tub and out of her reach and either frightened her or upset her. Either way, before we knew it. P peed. And, we both laughed so hard we almost cried.

Other developmental milestones.

Our friend gave us an activity table. P loves standing at it and pushing it around the kitchen like a walker. When she gets tired or bored, she stands at it and plays. Then, when she's ready to go again, she starts pushing again.

Stacking. Mr. mouse was concerned that P wasn't stacking or putting objects into other objects. Well, she finally decided to try it. And, one night, I think it was Tuesday, but I'm not sure, she consistently picked up a lego piece and put it in her activity table and she consistently picked up a yellow ball and put it in her red bowl. Now, she'll crawl after the yellow ball if it rolls away and put it in her red bowl or red cup.

Eating. She's pretty focused. First side. Roll. Second side. Stretch. She gets an annoyed face if she feels like we made her wait too long, a sleepy face if she is tired, and a happy face when she's done.

Sunday, we took a lightening quick trip to the Twin Cities and got to see some of our friends. P was not so good with the quick transition. She was fine with the travel. But, she's gotten shy and it was a lot of people coming and going for her taste. She wanted nothing to do with seeing everyone and wanted to be held by Mr. mouse and/or me the whole time.

I wonder how we'll manage this weekend when we were planning on leaving her with a sitter while we attend a wedding.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Closed out the weekend with a lovely dinner. P is a big fan of pork cheeks. Why am I not surprised?

Super Early Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

It's 3:30 in the morning and I need to go get ready. Super early meeting at work. 5AM. It's a sane our somewhere and I need to be there for a conference call. Happy Friday.


Cheers!
mouse

Two Out of Three

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, P needed her binky to fall asleep last night, but the prior two nights she made it without. Yeah for P!

We're slowly trying to wean her off of her binky by being slower to offer it to her and only using it when she really needs it vs. just offering it whenever she's in the car or the crib.

Tuesday night, P had a cute moment. She had been hysterical most of the way home and I was pretty drained by the time we got home. I went upstairs to change while Mr. mouse comforted her. Soon, I heard him changing her and it was obviously a massive diaper. I came down to see the scene and she was buck naked draped across his leg whimpering while he was wiping down her butt. I don't know why I fell in love with the tableau. Perhaps it's the allure of a naked baby. Perhaps it's because she looked so small and I forget how young she still is. Either way, I laughed. And, the image still makes me smile.


Cheers!
mouse

Counting Down to Catching Up

Dear Friends and Family,

Uncle. Okay. You, whoever you are, you win.

After months of breezily, blissfully enjoying P's first year, the rate of cumulative sleep deprivation has increased while the rate of change of babyhood has slowed and I have passed an inflection point where I'm looking forward to a future where I get more sleep vs. holding onto a present where I feel like a walking zombie.

June 20th. By my current count, June 20th is when I'll be done with my evening pumping sessions which sounds like heaven because here is my "current" typical day.

typical mouse weekday:

• sleep: 4 hours
• coffee, blog, morning time: 0.5 hour (down from 1)
• feed P: 20 minutes (down from 30)
• shower, personal prep time: 0.5 hours
• morning bag shuffle: 20 minutes (up from 15 minutes)
• commute: 1 hour 15 minutes (up from an hour)
• daycare drop off: 5 minutes (down from 15 minutes)
• work: 9.75 hours (down from 10)
• day care pick up: 15 minutes (down from 30)
• commute: 1.5 hours
• feed P: 1 hour (up from 30 minutes)
• down time, play time, dinner, Mr. mouse time: 0.5 hours (down from 1)
• nap: 3 hours (up from 1.5 hours)
• pump and miscellaneous house errands: 1 hour (up from 30 minutes)

I'm tired just writing about it. To think, there is a future where 7 hours of sleep beckons. Sheer bliss.

The commute's been killer the past week - a combination of getting a later start and summer construction and P not sleeping through the afternoon commute. June 20th. I can make it. After all what are my other options?


Cheers!
mouse

04.12.10: Motor City and Back

Dear Friends and Family,

Another weekend, another quick trip. This time, we went to MI to see old friends and to get our teeth cleaned. Poor P spent a lot of time being corralled into baby safe spaces and in her car sear. She was SO happy to be free to roam when she got home. You could see it in her eyes. You could hear it in her laugh.

Still, it was good to see friends. We spent Friday night in a hotel. Then, after the dentist appointment and a trip to the supermarket to pick up dinner goods, we headed over to one of Mr. mouse's old friend's house. His wife and two kids were out of town so he was bachelor for the weekend. As usual, dinner was a group affair. Our friends D squared and their two kids joined us for some Korean barbecue. Then, we put P down for the night and watched a movie - Brothers. I have to say, I enjoyed it.

Sunday, we met up with another set of friends for dim sum. This is why we still go back for dentist appointments. The real reason is to see friends. The dentist just ensures we go twice a year.

Drove home. Unpacked. Let P roam. Then, we all crashed for the night.


Cheers!
mouse

Those Days

Dear Friends and Family,

I ran into an old friend and colleague yesterday. We started talking. And, we realized we needed to get together for coffee.

You know when you have one of those days? Those days where you're tired, you're hungry, your boss is being a dork, you know you've been working too many hours and there's no end in sight, you had a bad commute in and you're looking forward to a bad commute home because construction season just started, and you just want to throw in the towel?

I know. Everyone has those days. Every job comes with those days. But, when you have a couple serial those days, it makes you stop and think and wonder. And, that was my friend and me yesterday.

Would I be happier doing something different? I don't work for the money. So, what is my motivation? Perhaps I need to step back and revisit all of this.


Cheers!
mouse

On Location

Dear Friends and Family,

We earned $400 yesterday for allowing a TV crew to set up some lights on our roof. Not only that, but we had security detail outside of our house since their equipment was in our front yard.

How cool is that? Much cooler than working until midnight, I'd say.


Cheers!
mouse

Crunch Time

Dear Friends and Family,

It's crunch time today. We've got a war room. We've got the right people. Let's hope we can get to the right answer.


Cheers!
mouse

$330 Well Spent, I Hope

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse had a handy person come over yesterday and do a bunch of little things that needed to done on the mouse pad.

He caulked the bay window and deck door, reattached some deck siding, and refastened some nails that had come loose. Last night it rained, briefly, and none of it came in.

I guess we'll see if it holds as the more extensive spring rains come in.


Cheers!
mouse

04.05.10: Bienvenue à Canada

Dear Friends and Family,

On a whim, we decided to follow the good weather, to get P a passport stamp, and to get away from the daily drudgery of a routine. We ended up in Quebec for the weekend enjoying the sights, sounds and tastes of Canada. First passport stamp: check.

After some starts and stops Saturday morning involving several phone calls to the bank, we took the ferry across the river. It's an excellent opportunity to take lots of pictures of Quebec and we weren't the only shutterbugs on the trip. First boat ride: check.

We spent the rest of the morning walking through Lower Town and Upper Town - people watching, shopping, and taking more pictures. Then, we stopped off at the hotel to feed P and drop off some gear before taking the car out to a crêperie Mr. mouse read about online. Mr. mouse ordered the cassoulet and P ate most of the duck confit that came with the dish. She could not get at it fast enough. I almost fell out of my seat laughing. Discovery that your child is a gourmet: check.

Next stop: a re-gentrified neighborhood and a loop through a toy store. We picked up a Pat the Bunny for P for Easter and a book with French words. Back in Old Quebec, we walked to the Parliament and then through the streets to the wall, where the locals hang out. I fed P in the car while Mr. mouse went looking for a t-shirt for P. Dropped off the car and the gear and headed out for some more walking and pictures. The Hotel Fountenac dominates Quebec's skyline and we got there at that magical moment when it's dusk and everything looks that much better for the lighting. Took lots of pictures along the boardwalk and introduced P to maple sugar candy - I'd like to recreate it at home this winter once we get snow. It was so good. First indulgent sugar treat: check.

Last, but not least: dinner. We decided to stay close to the hotel since we had an early morning on Sunday and I didn't want P to get cold if the weather turned. On a lark, we stopped by a restaurant that a friend recommended and they had a table available. After considering the four course dinner, we landed on a la carte entrees - the chicken in a flaky pastry and a dish of game meats. Would you believe P was a big fan of the bison/pheasant casserole? Confirmation your child is a gourmet: check.

Sunday morning, we left bright and early. We got home, gassed the car, showered, ate, and headed out for some family pictures and a quick trip to the aquarium. It was pretty windy, but, hey, at least we can say we tried.

And, now, it's Monday and I'm hoping the week isn't a killer week.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Walking the streets of Quebec confirmed we could still be unicorns.

Bitten

Dear Friends and Family,

No, not the clothes line by Sarah Jessica Parker. No, not some vampire thing. Plain and simple, P was bitten at school yesterday. Some kid got excited and, you know, when kids get excited, they bite.

Wait. Stop. No, I don't know. When P gets excited she laughs. She shakes like a bowl full of jelly. She falls. She does not bite.

Okay. I'll admit back in November when her first two teeth came in, she bit me a couple of times while eating - a couple of times when she was overeager to start and a couple of times when she thought that was an acceptable way to signal that she was done with that side. And, she learned quickly that biting was not acceptable. And, she hasn't bitten anyone since.

Well. I suppose she'll go through more adventures as she progresses through school - biting, hair pulling, you name it, kids do it. Excellent.

I was going to write yesterday morning about her self soothing skills (she got it together on the car ride home and in her crib yesterday morning), but I ran out of time in the morning and then she was a basket case on the way home yesterday. Guess there's a learning curve before she's consistent. Our little P.


Cheers!
mouse