02.14.11: Weekend at Home

Dear Friends and Family,

I got home Friday to a morose P. We dosed her with some ibuprofen and then held her hacking body until she cheered up enough to want to play. And, that was when I realized getting on the plane with her would be an incredibly selfish thing to do. So, we're here and it's Monday and I'm okay with life.

The house cleaners came on Saturday and did their magic. It warmed up enough for P and me to head out for breakfast and a walk. I ordered pancakes for P, but she wanted my ham which was fine by me. She ate a slice and a half of ham and three or four silver dollar pancakes.

We spent the weekend at home enjoying a couple of walks in the milder weather and letting P nap at home in her crib. She decided to let her vocabulary explode this weekend taking on words like computer and camera and a whole book of Korean exclamations. She's trying valiantly at two puzzles we got her that are tougher than the peg puzzles at school. And, she's exploring her expanded world since we've been leaving the gate to the living room open more often.

She loves watching us cook. She loves helping unload the dishwasher. And, she loves emptying the cabinet.

I guess, in the end, I'm glad we stayed home. Mr. mouse is still hacking away. P is doing much better than she would have been if we had taken her on a plane. And, I am okay with it all. I've rationalized that my grandfather and I were never very close. And, if having him see P was that much of a priority for me, I would have gone earlier. She's 21 months old so we've had plenty of opportunity. Therefore, jumping on a flight with a toddler, 92 diapers and 23 juice boxes of soy milk would have been a last ditch effort to get a box checked - technically checked, but not in a way that had meaning for any of the parties involved.

So, I'm here and I need to get ready so that I've got a couple of extra minutes to distribute P's Valentine's Day cards.


Cheers!
mouse

Torn

Dear Friends and Family,

My grandfather in Korea is ill. He is 101 years old. And, he is dying.

As Mr. mouse hacks up a lung, I am sitting in the "family room" debating whether or not we should make the trek out to see him. He is not no longer aware of his surroundings nor is he conscious of visitors.

If I'm doing this for P, I'm not sure it's worth it. To drag her on a plane for 20 hours to potentially spend 5 minutes with someone she doesn't know and will not remember seems like a questionable idea.

If I'm doing this for my parents, I'm not sure it's worth it. They have my aunt and uncle with them and have explicitly said it's not a good idea to come out.

If I'm doing this for Mr. mouse, I'm sure it's not worth it. He sounds miserable.

If I'm doing this for my grandfather, I'm not sure it's worth it. Frankly, in a matter of days he will most probably have passed away.

So, selfishly, it all comes down to me. If we go, I'm doing this for myself. I'm not sure what I'll decide, but it's nice to have boiled down the complexities into a single variable.


Cheers!
mouse

PMS

Dear Friends and Family,

Feeling tired and want to crawl into a hole for a week. Instead, headed on a trip that is sure to tire me out even more.

First, there's the packing. Then, there's the flying. And then, there's the guaranteed social drama. Then, there's the jet lag. Then, there's the flying. Then, there's tackling all of the work that will have built up. Then, there's the new job.

Excellent.

I think I need a vacation.


Cheers!
mouse

Home Alone

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse took one of his rare overnight business trips last night. And,

• I had a mega commute compounded by
• more snow,
• non-functioning rail lights,
• a crying, feverish toddler,
• and who knows what else was conspiring to keep me from home.

I gave P some Tylenol. She drank a bunch of water and milk. She looked at a class photo and named all of her friends, pointed out her teachers' glasses and declared herself a "big girl" when pointing to herself in the picture.

I put her to bed around 9. I took the time to finish unloading the car and clearing the kitchen island before calling Mr. mouse for the evening. P woke up right as I was calling Mr. mouse and needed hugs and cuddles and fell asleep curled in a ball on our bed. I carried her to her bed and made it through the night without further incident.

Time to go get ready for the day. Hopefully P's feeling better this morning.


Cheers!
mouse

02.07.11: Frazzled Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

Well. It wasn't that frazzled. We got a lot done. And, we played with P. The grand experiment of the moment is leaving one of the gates undone to give P access to more of the house. Of course, her first instinct is to explore since the living room was an area of limited availability.

P officially has three more teeth in, just barely, filling in the gaps between her front eight and her read four molars. The bottom left has yet to make an appearance.

Mr. mouse was sick with something awful coughing up some nasty sounding phlegm. Yuck.

And, I was mentally sorting through my old job and my new job and coming to terms with it all. And, beginning to put together the prep list for our quickie trip to the Pacific Rim to see the grandparents.

I spoke with my Mom on Sunday and sometimes I wonder if her English has gotten worse since she's retired - both literally and figuratively. I think the literal part is easy to understand since she probably spends 90% of her time speaking Korean. But, I think figuratively there's a change in mental models as well since she's with other Koreans all of the time she's become "more Korean." We spent a call lost in translation where my Mom kept saying don't try to schedule this = you don't know if you're going to see Grandpa for the last time or if you're going for the funeral. And, I get that. But, I still wanted to let her know when we plan on showing up and leaving, not because we expect her or my grandfather to work their schedule around ours, but just so that she knows when we'll be there. I'm still not sure she got it.

Well, P's up so time to get ready for work.


Cheers!
mouse

New Job

Dear Friends and Family,

Well. Let the stress begin.

New job. New boss. Sick grandparent.

Time to assess how it all goes.

I had a meeting with my VP who wants to grow my business sevenfold in the next two years and thought I would not be the right person to make that happen - which I 110% agree with. But, well, unless God is out pounding the pavement looking for work, I'm not sure they'll necessarily find someone to meet that goal.

Me? I could probably do double in two years. And, I'm humble enough to know that someone else may be able to do triple or maybe even quadruple. But, seven? No thanks. Let someone else try to climb Mount Everest with a Snickers bar and some comfortable sneakers.

So, it's on to a new job and a new boss. Hopefully I enjoy it enough to see it through to when P transitions to new school. But, if it's not, than I'm sure we'll figure it out.


Cheers!
mouse

"Vegan" "Pizza"

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, we went out for lunch and I had a pizza with clams, with a sprinkling of parmesan cheese and no mozzarella cheese, and I liked it. I can see liking it without the parmesan and with a bunch of vegetables instead of the clams.

Technically, not 100% vegan since I have no idea what the restaurant uses in their crust, but I didn't think it had egg or cheese. I suppose it could have butter. But, close enough for my purposes.

More food for thought.


Cheers!
mouse

Snowstorm of the Millenia

Dear Friends and Family,

Big storm headed our way, but, my mind is in a different place thinking about food.

I think my brain processes food by a combination of the food itself and the process of eating. There's the taste of spaghetti and the act of twirling noodles around a fork and eating spaghetti and both are gratifying and combined give me a certain level of joy.

That, I think, is the problem with people who try to change eating habits. I think I can become a pescatarian or vegetarian or a vegan or a flexitarian or anything if I find the right combination of foods to satisfy both the taste and the process.

Like, pasta. That's easy. Linguine noodles, crushed tomatoes, garlic, basil and some good olive oil with a side salad with some good balsamic and I'd say I have a satisfying vegan dinner on the table.

And, burgers. That's easy as well thanks to the nice people at Boca Burgers. I'm fine with garden burgers. I imagine I'd be fine with their vegan burgers. Add a bun, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, and a side of fries or chips and another satisfying vegan meal on the table.

And, Japanese. Not as easy. But, I think, a bowl of rice, a bowl of miso, some seaweed salad, and some vegetable tempura (sans egg) would be another satisfying meal.

And, Chinese. Let me think. Rice. Stir fried vegetables. Pan fried vegetable dumplings. Mapo tofu (sans pork and using vegetable stock). Done.

And, Middle Eastern. Hummus. Pita. Falafel. Baba Ganoush. Tabbouli. Easy.

So, I think it can be done. I think it's easier if you plan it out than if you go the other way with a blank slate. Once you have at least one go to meal in each cuisine type I think I'd feel satisfied. Then, I could always grow the portfolio at a steady pace.


Cheers!
mouse

01.31.11: Secret Travels

Dear Friends (and Family),

We snuck home to see friends without telling our family we were in town. Is that evil? We figured we only had a quick weekend and we had just seen them a month ago. And, it's just plain tiring traipsing around with P and getting her into and out of a number of routines. This way, we let her have her Saturday morning. We had a stretch of time Saturday afternoon with friends. We had dinner with one of my close friends. And, then, she had her Sunday morning with us.

And, we had a chance to catch up with friends and enjoy the day. P warmed up to the adults once she had a chance to sit and play. She's still not a fan of other kids. I suppose that comes later.

Sunday night, we had battle royal at the dinner table. P didn't want her rice and beans. She didn't want her cereal. She didn't want her yogurt. But, she got the words chicken and dip out amidst her whines, sobs and grunts. And, lo and behold, she ate a plate of chicken dipped in ketchup.


Cheers!
mouse

Weight Watchers

Dear Friends and Family,

Day 5 of my new Weight Watchers journey:

So continues my saga to return to my pre-pregnancy weight. P is going to be two this year, and I realize that at some point I need to do something about my weight or accept that this is my new state of being.

This week has been good. It's reminded me of some of the things I used to to while on Weight Watchers. There's no random nibbling from people's desks because I'm stressed. There's research before going out to eat to see what's good and good for you. There's thinking about portion control and portioning out your food vs. digging in and eating until you're "full." And, there's being hungry.

I'm not going to starve to death. In this land of plenty, I am, fortunately, not one of the food insecure. I have to be okay with hunger. It is a sign that I should eat. It is a point I can reach. One does not need to eat if one is not hungry.

We'll see how the weekend goes.


Cheers!
mouse

Toddler Time

Dear Friends and Family,

P has two more teeth coming in (the top two that go between her front four and her first molars) and she is chewing on everything - her shirt, her shoes, her toes, her arm - you name it, she will try chewing on it.

She's also turned all girly girl on me. She likes to open the drawer and take out the costume jewelry I left in the drawer, put it on, look in the mirror, then turn on the music and dance. It's awesome to watch.


Cheers!
mouse

Rides Home

Dear Friends and Family,

If I were to switch jobs and P were to switch schools, I would miss our morning and evening routine. I drop her off at school and I pick her up. I could still do those things. But, what I wouldn't have is the daily time in the car.

I turn on her light. I turn on the car. I take off her jacket. I buckle her into her seat. I put her snack by her right leg and her milk in left cup holder. I tuck her blanket around her. And, sometimes she gets one of her plush friends.

Then, we head home. And, now that she's talkative enough, we have fun with it. We sing songs that she requests (Old MacDonald, Wheels on the Bus, Bumblebee, Alphabet Song). We point to trucks and trains and sometimes airplanes. We recite the alphabet and alphabet animals. We count. We play peekaboo. We make sounds and the other person guesses what we're pretending to be.

It's a fun time that's just P and Mommy time. I'll miss that if I were to switch jobs. I don't like bad commutes, but sometimes our rides home feel more like road trips. And, I do like road trips.


Cheers!
mouse

Sliced Bread

Dear Friends and Family,

I just found money in a pocket and it made me happy.

Well, it wasn't real money, but it is better than real money.

I just found out Social Security has a cost of living adjustment. And, while I'm not banking on 100% pay out of benefits, I do have 50% loaded into my retirement plan. So, being able to add a cost of living adjustment just added money to my plan.


Cheers!
mouse

01.24.11: Another Year, Another Party

Dear Friends and Family,

This past weekend was our annual new year party. Despite missing some dear friends, falling asleep (and snoring) by the end of the party and getting sick the next morning, I have to say, I enjoyed it more than I thought possible.

Trixie brought mustache tattoos. I had a chance to hang out with friends and not spend the evening answering the door. P had a chance to meet several members of her fan base. And, of course, by the end of the evening, we had a pile of puppies on the couch.

Sunday, we ate brunch and then rested until football was on TV. We watched both games with friends, chips and pizza. P had a bath. I got some work done. We all turned in for the night.

And, today, I am strangely optimistic about the work week given the state of disrepair I left on Thursday. Perhaps the day off was what I needed. Or, my guess is, the time off with friends on Saturday and Sunday. Either way, feeling like I have a little more gas in the tank than I usually do.


Cheers!
mouse

Full Disclosure

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night, over dinner, I told Mr. mouse about the request at work that I move positions. Now, if I decide to leave, he won't be surprised.

It was nice sharing.


Cheers!
mouse

Full Circle

Dear Friends and Family,

For all it's crazy times and stress, I enjoy my job. I like my job. And, now, my management team is asking me to switch jobs. And, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I am on the cusp of seeing some pretty great things happen with my job. And, I am toying with seeing it through to completion and taking a new job elsewhere based upon the accomplishments of my current job.

I'll miss my job if I do. And, I'll need to find new daycare for P if I do.

The other option is to stay and take this new job that my management team is asking me to take and see where it leads. Frankly, I'm not jazzed about this new job. But, I get paid well for what I do and P loves her school.

I think I need a vacation to step away from all of this.


Cheers!
mouse

The Table Quest

Dear Friends and Family,

The long slough to clear the table continues. I just listed a phone we no longer use on eBay. We'll see if it sells.

And, the kitchen counter. Well, it's back to it's chaotic state. But, here's my discovery. If you tackle it quickly most of the stuff is easy to sort through. But, if you wait, then things tend to settle and take root and then it's mountains of time sorting through it.

So, I'll need to address it before this weekend comes. Then, I'll have two surfaces that are (mostly) clear. Yeah for mouse!


Cheers!
mouse

Rapidly Expanding Vocabulary

Dear Friends and Family,

I know P knows more words than she speaks. And, I know that at some point this balloons into language. And, I think we're seeing that happen.

Last night, she shared "Monkey" and "Woof", the names of two of her plush friends. And, there was "chicken" which was on her plate for dinner. And, "hello" and "bye" which she said on and off, but not purposefully like last night on the play phone.

And, there was the moment when I took a couple of mandarin oranges out of the refrigerator and she saw them and said "chte" (the best her can manage toward oranges) and wouldn't go back to eating, just saying "chte" and pointing to where I was attempting to hide them with little success.

And, there was the moment when she wanted beans with her rice and pointed to the fridge and said "beans, fridge".

Guess all of those neurons are beginning to connect. Oh, and more chompers coming in. She's got twelve (four top middle, four bottom middle, four molars), but she's chewing on stuff and if you ask her if her mouth itches, she says, "yes."


Cheers!
mouse

01.17.11: Weekend at Home

Dear Friends and Family,

I think we're at the point when water begins to going from heating up to rolling boil - a few bubbles here and there, but the bubbles are getting bigger and coming more frequently.

This time Mr. mouse and I got into a HUGE fight over a cell phone that neither of us want. He made some comment that it was worth keeping in case one of our phones break.

I think that's just a microcosm of our lives. He'll keep a million and one things just in case. And, it just becomes a mental and emotional drag on my existence leaving me feeling unempowered to do anything in the house. And, then the house festers. And, I fester.

Well, last night I decided to push the point. And, he threw the phone out the front door into the street. And, then we yelled and yelled and yelled. And, now, the phone is sitting in the garbage and I'm feeling mildly better for it being out of the house.

I still think this is about something more than the phone - just waiting for that ah-ha moment when it all becomes obvious.

What'd we do this weekend? Not much of anything. Saturday, P was a nightmare, probably because she was fighting a cold. Sunday, P was a delight, probably because she was feeling much better.

She's picking up words left and right. And, she's using them purposefully. Like, yesterday I offered her a cup of milk and she said no and then pointed and said fridge as in please put the milk in the fridge since I don't want it now and that's the correct place for it.


Cheers!
mouse

Thursday Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

Good morning. Hopefully you are asleep in bed like a sane human being.

I have been up since 1AM this morning working on stuff I've put off for too long.

Tomorrow, I have a day with no meetings on my calendar. I may decide to work from some place other than my desk at the office so I don't have to worry about interruptions.

Then, it will magically be the weekend.


Cheers!
mouse

Wednesday Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

My small accomplishment for the morning was moving the crayons and the ink pad to P's art supply drawer in our credenza opening up approximately six square inches of space on the table.

It's not a big accomplishment, but it's big psychologically because it means I've hit the bottom of the mountain of stuff on the table.

And, I'm realizing I need help.

I think my recent clutter binges at home (with the table and the kitchen counter) are really me lashing out against what's bothering me and trying to restore order to a life that seems to have devolved into chaos.

Work is stressful. Mr. mouse's mercurial work situation is stressful. Raising a toddler is stressful. Commuting is stressful. Commuting with a toddler is stressful. Contemplating a small business is stressful.

And, all of this stress is leading to bad eating which is leading the me feeling rotten which is, guess what, stressful.

I guess the question is how to reduce the stress. Perhaps, instead of physical clutter control, I need mental clutter control. There's just too much going on and it's stressing me out.

The question is, where do I even begin? How do I begin to chip away at the mountain and make enough progress to hit the bottom of the mountain of stuff on my mental plate?

I think if I had the answer to that question, I could mint money.


Cheers!
mouse

Tuesday Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday, and all three of us are up. P is lying on the floor with her blanket and looking at books. Scratch that, she's at the table vaunting her color knowledge along with the 130 words she's mastered.

She's begun recognizing some letters and some numbers and will recite either after you. She can get to five consistently on her own, then skips six and seven, jumping to eight, nine and ten.

And, now, we've got a full fledged tantrum going over the right to flash a flashlight in her eyes. Oh, the tears. Whoever said you don't mind your own child's cries was wrong. I can't say I'm a big fan of P's crying or whining. It still grates on my sensibilities.

Ah. Peace.

I've been working on another de-cluttering project. We have a table in our living room. My preference would be to get rid of the table all together. It's a horizontal surface begging to be filled. If you give Mr. mouse a horizontal surface, he will fill it, much to my chagrin.

Well, this table was piled at least a foot high with stuff. And, now, there's still a couple of piles of stuff to work through, but it's gotten to the point where it's a single layer of stuff. Each item removed, at this point, makes a noticeable improvement to clutter control progress.

1. cup of pens and pencils
2. box of gift cards
3. post it notes
4. crayons
5. flash cards that I want to throw away
6. old phones and cameras for P
7. one pile of papers that still need to be worked through
8. a pile of coloring books and stickers for P
9. photos to be scanned
10. a computer mouse
11. a noise maker
12. 6 baseball caps
13. 3 sandwich bags with stuff from P
14. some hair ties
15. luggage tags
16. pins

And, I'm sure I forgot some stuff. But, yes, after all the hard work, that's what's still left on the table. I'll spare you the gory details of what's no longer on the table.

My thought is, if I can somehow keep the table clear long enough, Mr. mouse will either start helping to keep it clear or, maybe, agree to take the table out of our room.

De-cluttering feels like a constant battle of wills. You win some battles and then you turn around and realize the enemy is back. It's a constant game of whack a mole.


Cheers!
mouse

01.10.11: Back to Work

Dear Friends and Family,

It was a weekend of work intruding on life and I feel like part of it is because there's a lot of work going on, but part of it is because one of my colleagues is not the best decision maker.

I need to find better work-like balance.

On a positive note, the kitchen is still livable. And, I made good progress on a random table of clutter we have in the living room. I was inspired by an article I read. The person in the article went too far. But, I figured I wasn't going far enough.

Still, I got to spend some good time with P. She's got issues we need to work through - she doesn't like sharing, she doesn't like new environments, she doesn't like to be crowded and she doesn't like cats. She's getting only child syndrome.

But, she's adding new words everyday including her own name. And, yesterday, she put two words together to form a phrase. Mr. mouse said he was going upstairs to change so the two of them could go out for bagels. And, while he was upstairs, P went to the bin of clean laundry and pulled out a pair of Mr. mouse's jeans and said Daddy bahjee (her way of saying pants). Wow.

She's begun lining her toys up in a row, feeding her animals, and putting together puzzles. And, she's still walking around on tip toes. It's a fun age.


Cheers!
mouse

Friday

Dear Friends and Family,

It appears I may have made it through the week in one piece.

Sometime this week I made the conscious decision to try and live more in the present, to stop hypothesizing about all of the possible future conversations and outcomes that could happen, to stop replaying all of the past conversations and outcomes that did happen, and to instead focus on the here and now.

Traffic cooperating has only helped.

So, it's Friday and I have one more day to make it through to get to the weekend. I'm cautiously optimistic.


Cheers!
mouse

Stressed

Dear Friends and Family,

Stressed about today. Lots of meetings I'm not quite prepared for. Lots of meetings that overlap. Lots of emails that'll pile up while I'm in my meeting. Lots of work that still needs to get done.

Feeling overwhelmed. I need a break.


Cheers!
mouse

Kitchen Counter Wars

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm stressed about work so I will focus this morning instead on what is within my control, most of the time.

Last we checked in, I was working on the kitchen counter vowing to win a long waged war against the stuff on the counter. We had a couple of days over the holidays where it got ugly. But, fortunately, it's mostly back to normal.

But, back to work. It's stressful. I enjoy some days of it, but other days I am plain beat. I keep thinking there will be a chance to decompress and get back to normal. But, after each project launches I am off and running against the next project.

But, to be fair, I'm not sure how much of this is work and how much of this is P. I took my current position shortly after I returned from maternity leave. And, life is more stressful. There's the commute. There's the lack of free time. There's the commitment to being good parents. There's the change in every routine that made up our lives.

Well, either way, work kept me up part of last night so today I am tired. And, since the past two days have been hell on wheels, I am dreading today.

At least I don't have any "tough" meetings on deck for today.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Perhaps I need to switch pictures back to frazzled mouse.

Directed Play

Dear Friends and Family,

P's been up to a lot over the winter holidays. Christmas day she decided she knew all of the basic colors and white and would share that knowledge with the rest of us - patiently helping her color challenged parents every time we asked her, "what color is (fill in the blank)?" And, around New Year's Eve she picked up counting to five, although that's not as consistent yet.

More interestingly, our toddler has become the prototypical only child letting us know exactly how she wants to play with us. You sit here, you do this, you hold this this way, etc. It's cute, but not something I want to foster in the long run.

And, in a show of children defeating toys, she's figured out all of the blocks will fit through the square hole of the shape sorter. And her favorite toy of the holiday season? The bottles and cans in our pantry.

The transition back to school was tiring. P came home last night and whined her way through the evening. By 8:00 she wanted to go upstairs and by 8:30 she was fast asleep. Hopefully she's feeling more rested today.


Cheers!
mouse

01.03.11: Monday Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

I unplugged for a week and so far I think the pain associated with it will be worth the gain in having time off. Famous last words.

When you last saw me, I had 12 tasks separating me from the holidays. My colleague and I plowed through them. And, were moderately successful in getting through them until a last minute glitch came up in the eleventh hour. We cobbled together a something or other and called it a day. I had a handful of tasks remaining.

Then, while at Mr. mouse's folks' place, I plowed through a bunch of emails and felt like I was really rocking and rolling.

Then, we went to my parents' place for a couple of days. Nothing like spending time with the parents to totally throw me off kilter. Truth be told, it wasn't their fault this time. They do require 110% of your time and attention and energy when you're with them, but I can't fault them on this one.

They want to share P, to let others see her and spend time with her. Well, P has her limits. She's shy and takes time to warm up to people and three new adults is already pushing the limit much less four or five or six new adults. Add to that an eating schedule that's off kilter which then results in a sleeping schedule that's off kilter and I'm not really relaxing and catching up, I'm in full time woman-on-toddler recovery mode.

Add to the already tiring set of events another uncontrollable - the weather. We got snowed in and needed to make alternate plans to come home. So, instead of an empty flight Tuesday morning, we're on the train to nowhere Monday night and Mr. mouse is making lemonade from lemons and we're spending Tuesday on an impromptu sightseeing trip. And, we make it home in time to go to sleep Tuesday evening - feeling like we need recovery time, not like we can hit the ground running on Wednesday.

Which is where the week went. We spent time with P and getting the house put back together and decompressing on Wednesday. And, then it hardly felt worth it to plug in for a day on Thursday. And, before you knew it it was Friday. And, then Saturday. And, then Sunday.

Which is how I find myself Monday morning dreading going back to work. The same handful of tasks remain only now I don't have a week of leisure to work on them. Emails have re-taken over my inbox. And, the cobbled patch is definitely a finger in a dam that I'm afraid to remove.

But, dedicated readers, of which there are few, fear not, I will take a moment to reflect and to try and grow as a person.

Mr. mouse and I had a huge row on New Year's Eve. He gets absorbed in technology. I get absorbed in technology. It's not uncommon for us to spend the evening "together" with both of us tied to our respective screens. It's also not uncommon for us, in our enormously complex world, for one of us to crash while the other works or randomly surfs or tries to get tasks done around the house.

Tuesday night, it was all about trying to get P back into a routine. Wednesday night, Mr. mouse decided he needed to run errands. Thursday night, I don't recall what happened but it was more of the above. But, that brings us New Year's Eve and the last minute charitable donations. I'm done and I want to spend some quality time with Mr. mouse to ring in the new year and he's dithering on that last $25 donation reading the current housing regulations of his dorm and other inanities. And, I blow a gasket and he blows a gasket and kaboom. Huge row.

Which brings me to my goal for the year - to become less absorbed with technology. I'll still spend some time in the morning reflecting, but I'm going to try and make evenings and weekends screen free time.


Cheers!
mouse

12 Tasks of Christmas

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, it's time for the usual frenzy before everyone takes off next week.

My colleague and I have 12 tasks we need to get through today to get to the holidays. If you assume 6 work hours (fingers crossed) and 50% efficiency and 2 people, that's 30 minutes a task... Game on!

Then, I get to come home and enjoy an evening with P.

We'll read and play and open presents and run around and maybe even dance a little. She may want to walk around holding a purse saying bye before doing a lap around the kitchen island. She may want me to lie on the couch and surprise her as she comes around the corner. She may want to go upstairs and listen to the messages on the answering machine. Or, she may want to sit and read Gingerbread Baby all night long. We'll see. They all sound fabulous to me.

I'm motivated to get in and get through my 12 tasks. The sooner I start, the sooner I finish.


Cheers!
mouse

End of Year Rant

Dear Friends and Family,

This might sound weird, but, honestly, it doesn't feel like December, at all, much less December 22nd with Christmas three days away and the end of the year a little more than a week away.

It feels like late October or so. How can it be December 22nd? And, more importantly, why am I not in a Christmas frame of mind?

I'm not stressed about the holidays. All of our shopping is done and we stayed well within our budget. We've attended a couple of parties. I'm taking a couple of days off from work.

Weird. I don't even have a name for this.


Cheers!
mouse

12.21.10: Getting Ready

Dear Friends and Family,

Woke up yesterday and knew right away something was wrong. A look at the clock led to a quick diagnosis of the problem - I had overslept almost two hours.

The weekend? What'd we do? Well, I guess that's why I blog, because I have no ability to recall where time went otherwise.

Saturday, I worked on a photo book of P's first year, we went out for dinner, or was that Sunday? Mr. mouse went out for our Christmas ornament one night. We went toy shopping one afternoon. I worked Sunday night. I'm drawing a blank on the rest of the weekend.

Happily, today is Tuesday and tomorrow is Wednesday and I am hopefully off on Thursday.

Seriously, how can I not remember two days ago?


Cheers!
mouse

Planning

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse is beginning to research real estate properties which must mean he's beginning to feel better about work. I think he's leaning towards taking a position at work, even if it's a demotion, and slogging it out until either A. the economy improves or B. we save enough for retirement.

The current calendar has us working until somewhere around the end of 2017 which seems like a long time away from now, but if you think about how quickly this past year went, it's not all that far into the future.

I think he thought the date was much further out than that. But, with seven years separating him from spending his days with P, I think he's willing to try to make that date stick. We'll see how the numbers play out between now and then. Another 2008 could hit us and then it'd be back to the drawing board again.

Well, we'll see how this month ends and 2011 begins.


Cheers!
mouse

Back to Work

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, it wasn't quite as relaxing as I thought it could be. But, it was good to have a day off.

We got off of our morning routine which meant drop off didn't go as smoothly as it normally does. So, instead of embarking on my vacation adventure at 8, I was headed out the daycare door at 10:30. And, instead of picking up one present for my brother and being done with the shopping, I ended up on a non-stop glazed-eye tour of the area picking up Mr. mouse's dad's gift, and something for Mr. mouse and, to be honest, a bunch of random stuff for P. And, instead of a relaxing lunch reading a book, I ended up with a hurried lunch reading my blackberry. And, instead of catching a movie, I plodded back and forth through the mall. And, instead of beating the traffic home, I ended up getting stuck at P's holiday party and coming home at the usual hour.

But, all that being said, I guess it does feel good to have P's gifts purchased and to be down to two purchases left for this weekend - our annual tree ornament and Mr. mouse's step-mom's present. And, I guess I can try for an afternoon off next week, to watch HP7A.

In any case, it's back to work today. Hopefully, not too much craziness ensued while I was out. Okay. Who am I kidding? The piper must be paid. Sigh. Next time, I'll take a day off without any plans. We'll see how that goes.


Cheers!
mouse

Vacation Day!

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm taking a vacation day and am very excited about it.

I slept in, a little, this morning.

Here's the plan.

I'll drop P off at school. Then, I'll head out - maybe for a cup of coffee, maybe to the mall to get some Christmas shopping done. Then, lunch. Then, either more wandering or a movie.

I'll pick P up a little early to enjoy the afternoon together.

And, then, I'll feel mega-refreshed for the day tomorrow. At least, that's the plan.


Cheers!
mouse

Quiet Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, I went to work yesterday, and I came home from work yesterday, and in between were a bunch of meetings and a bunch of people stopping by my desk and a blessedly simple drop-off and a commute from someone who knew I didn't have it in me to do something more than blissfully short.

P's bottom right molar finally erupted. She's been walking on her tippy toes. And, she got into a Battle Royale with Mr. mouse because she didn't want any dinner last night.

And, today, I'm in a marginally better frame of mind.

The island is still under control although it's beginning to pile up with gifts we need to get out to gift recipients. And, left-of-sink area is still looking good. The elbow is a work in progress, but it's looking close enough for a final sweep this weekend which would leave the impossible right-of-stove for the next tackle point.

I just need to remind myself, it didn't become a disaster zone in a day. It won't become an organized spot in a day. Progress is what I should be measuring. Sooner or later the house will not look like a hurricane hit it.


Cheers!
mouse

12.13.10: Inevitable March to Year End

Dear Friends and Family,

It's December 13th and the steady march to year end continues.

I'm annoyed.

I need a vacation.

Work has been a constant non-stop barrage since... well, since forever, it seems. My potential vacation at the end of the week? Unlikely to happen since, well, work is too hectic. Instead of time off, I spent a good piece of yesterday working. Yes, that's a step in the right direction. NOT!

And, I think I may be working the week between Christmas and New Year's.

If you can't tell, I'm beginning to resent the toll work has taken on my personal life.

But, I want to give Mr. mouse the flexibility to make some decisions with regards to his work. So, I will continue to soldier on and try not to resent work too much.

What'd we do this weekend?

Saturday morning we took P in for a haircut and let her cry it out before the salon opened. Then, P and I went for breakfast with Auntie Janet while Mr. mouse came home to let the house cleaners in.

I can't think if we did anything after the house cleaners finished up. Nope. I remember now. P fell asleep on Mr. mouse's lap. We carried her to her crib and then went to our room for a monster four hour nap.

The afternoon was a chance to play. And, as if on queue, at 8, P asked to go out. So, we bundled her up and went out for a slice of pizza. She likes her Saturday evening jaunts.

Sunday, we woke up early because we all napped. Then, we went out for brunch. P napped. Mr. mouse got a tree. I worked. P played. I worked. We ate dinner. I worked. Mr. mouse did the lights. I worked. P went to sleep. I worked. Mr. mouse surfed. I worked. We all went to sleep.

See, that's how you want to spend one of the last weekends of the year. Working. Right.

Back to tree. P hates the tree. Or, rather, she is terrified of the tree. One look and she was crawling up my front trying to get away. I left her to help Mr. mouse bring it into the house and she stood there crying. I was holding her when Mr. mouse was leveling it and she turned and saw it gave a violent turn away and shuddered and cried and tried to get away.

We'll have to see if the lights and time get her more enthused. Or, if the tree thing will be a bust.

And, now, on the docket, gifts and cards. It would have been nice to get both done, but, I was too busy working this weekend. What kills me is that both require transit time and next weekend doesn't give me enough time for that so I'll need to tackle it one night this week.

Excellent.

I'm not even going to try and find a silver lining to any of this.


Cheers...
mouse

Tax Mystery

Dear Friends and Family,

I know it's more complicated than this. I'm not going to pretend it's not. But, I'm always been a big fan of a flat tax. Not a flat tax rate. A flat tax.

A flat tax?

Yes. A flat tax.

One where you take the budget (e.g. $3.8 trillion dollars for 2011) and the population (300 million for the US) - divide one by the other and voila, your tax bill.

You'd get rid of tax rates, exemptions, forms, credits, and all the other stuff. If we know our bill at the beginning of the year, we could all start saving for it and plan accordingly.

Our bill as a family of three would be $38,400 which is a fraction of what we pay. Not that I mind the taxes that I pay. I just mind all of the greed that is evident in all of the talks. And, I know that people making more than me (a lot more than me) are paying less than me (a lot less than me) in taxes.

Oh, and like United Way contributions, I'd like to spell out how I want my taxes to be spent (i.e. which department or initiative gets my money). If you leave it blank the government can allocate it. Think about how much smarter we'd all be about where our money goes.

Anyway, that's my source of inspiration for the day - simplification and ownership.


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse and the Kitchen Counter

Dear Friends and Family,

Another day, another victory on the kitchen counter war front.

The island is still clear. I think Mr. mouse realizes it's giving me a measure of sanity and is helping to keep it clear.

I've mentally broken the kitchen counter up into four sections. There's the "area toe the left of the sink", the "elbow", the stove, and the "area to the right of the stove."

I've been concentrating on the area to the left of the sink. This morning, I did a little more incremental shuffling. Still left to resolve are two items - a candle I need to either use or store or toss and an empty ketchup bottle that Mr. mouse may have some emotional attachment to. That last statement is not as weird as it sounds. He had it made with a personalized label. Perhaps I need to look at removing the label like you would with a wine bottle. That's an idea.

Then, I can tackle the elbow, the next vast expanse of Hoarder's Delight that is our kitchen.


Cheers!
mouse

Taming Monsters

Dear Friends and Family,

There are two wars waged last night. Two monsters. Two different approaches. Two different strategies.

The Toddler Terror

P was in a monster of a mood last night. She was tired from being up since 3:30. She was cranky from teeth coming in. She was unhappy with the fact that I had to send off two not-so-quick emails when I got home.

We were tired from being up since 3:30. I was cranky from a long drive home with a whiny baby in the car. I was unhappy that I had to bring work home. Mr.mouse was unhappy that P was whining at home.

This is a quick military exercise in survival. Let's get everyone decently calm, decently fed, decently clean, and into bed. NOW.

The Kitchen Monster

Our house is a constant battle against clutter. I detest clutter. I have been fighting it my entire life. It's a battle I lost at home growing up. One lone person cannot win against a family of hoarders. It's a battle I won when living alone. That's a gimme. It's a battle I have been waging since living with Mr. mouse - one where I win some and I lose some.

I have proudly been able to maintain my foothold on the most savage of beachheads - the kitchen island. Three days, now, I have been able to keep it cleared and organized. I think I need to use this moment to expand my small victory and start contemplating the kitchen counters. Same strategy as with the island - tiny changes to sneak in without Mr. mouse noticing. And, then, once I gain enough momentum, a massive attack on the remaining space.

The things that are my life. Sad, but so true.


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse Family Up

Dear Friends and Family,

3:30, P decided to get up and woke up both Mr. mouse and me.

I think it's a combination of molars and hunger that woke her. And, now she's being a whiny toddler while Mr. mouse gets her food ready. Sometimes she's so smart it's tough to remember that she's only a year and a half old.

Someone just asked to open the cabinet. I take complete blame for this because she saw me looking down there last night. Phew. Cabinet door closing. Disaster averted.

Well, Mr. mouse got more chores done yesterday. Router magically fixed. Closet rod re-installed. Which leaves P's haircut and a whole bunch of holiday stuff to do this weekend. Feels like it'll be fun and feels like it'll be relaxing. Just in time to still order gifts online. Just in time to enjoy my favorite time of the year.

I forgot to mention another developmental milestone. P started play acting with food, pretending to eat the popcorn from the catalog page and pretending to eat the sandwich from her book and pretending to eat the lemon from the kitchen island. Perhaps we need to feed her more. For now, I'm assuming this is play and not a sign of hunger so please don't call social services on us.

We weigh her weekly and feed her four to five times a day. I swear.

Time to go measure milk. Happy Tuesday.


Cheers!
mouse

12.06.10: Honeydew List Progress

Dear Friends and Family,

After a long weekend of diligently working through our to do list and keeping an increasingly independent toddler amused, I'm almost looking forward to work.

But, that being said, it does feel good to have most of the non-holiday to dos done. My hair is cut. My brows are trimmed. My nails are polished. The kitchen island was clear. The snow tires are on. Extra clothes are returned. Pantry and refrigerator are stocked.

What's left? Fixing a closet rod that broke Sunday afternoon and figuring out why our wireless has decided to go on early holiday. (For now we're using Mr. mouse's phone as a hot spot, not sure how long term sustainable that is.) And, P's haircut.

We had lots of fun with P over the weekend. She finally learned how to say Mommy on Sunday after meh which she started months ago and me-me which was both Mommy and Amy, her teacher at school. She learned how to step on a big girl scale, but only with me standing next to her on my scale. And, she's become absolutely enamored with an old answering machine we have plugged in.

P's molars are coming in and it looks so painful. Her gums are swollen with these huge white lumps just under the surface. And, when we offered her ice cream on Saturday night, the spoon came out with a streak of fresh blood. We caught her chewing on her swim shoes which have a bunch of rubber nubbins on the bottom. It must have felt good, but we had to ask her to stop.

She'll say no thank you if she wants you to stop or if she doesn't want something. She'll say please if she wants something, although its usage is more like now than please. And, she'll say hi if she wants your attention.

She pointed to a pomegranate and said apple. She pointed to an egg and said egg. And, she pointed to a beetle and said bug. She'll make animal sounds and ask you to guess the animal. She'll point to animals and make animal sounds. She'll put in song requests for songs she wants (e.g. Bumblebee, Monkeys, If You're Happy and You Know it, Row, Row, Row Your Boat are on her heavy rotation list).

Time to go clean up the island and sort through some pictures. Happy Monday!


Cheers!
mouse

Progress, One Nibble at a Time

Dear Friends and Family,

We have a basket on our kitchen island. It's full of junk. Literally. Chicken flavored lollipops, four year old chocolate, buttons to clothes we no longer own, you name it, it can be found in the basket.

And, it was overflowing. And, I couldn't see a way out of it with a pack rat husband. So, I took it one step at a time and started throwing away one thing in it at a time. And, the bottom is now visible and I think I can empty it before the year is out.

And, then I can replace it with the bamboo we have growing by the kitchen sink. It's not something I love, but it is a piece of greenery that could serve as a focal point on the island. In any case, I bought the container it's growing in and I like it more than I like an overflowing basket of junk.


Cheers!
mouse

Planning and Working

Dear Friends and Family,

Another month, another chance to revisit our retirement savings. And, since it's the end of the year another chance to revisit savings targets for next year and another chance to revisit our investment portfolio for this year.

I'm happy with the progress we made this year. I think I'll up our savings next year by $200 a month. I've determined that Mr. mouse's severance will cover next year's savings if we need it to.

And, I think we're going to to a blanket sell off of any stocks we have that are still capital losses to offset our income this year to minimize our tax bill come April.

And, last, but not least, I continue to be grateful that we have been as fortunate as we have been. We're not wealthy, but we're more fortunate than most. And, for that, I am thankful.


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse and the Tofu Factory

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night started off normal enough. Mr. mouse had dinner with a work colleague. I had the evening shift with P.

The drive home was uneventful given the light rain. P had her milk in her sippy cup (day two of no bottle) and we stopped for gas and french fries on the way home. We sang, we talked, we enjoyed the drive.

P asked for Mr. mouse when we pulled into the garage, but was okay with reading with me. We ate a light dinner, spent some time snuggling and playing in bed, and then went to her room for bedtime.

We read and when she was tired, she pointed to the crib and I put her down. She curled up and was TWO seconds away from sleep when... (queue up the dramatic music) I put her blanket on her.

Twenty minutes of crying later, I picked her up out of her crib and tried to console her. No luck. In sheer desperation I asked her a series of do you want questions. She lands on car. Yes, she wants car. So, I carried her downstairs (she was giggling and kicking the whole way) and put her down in her car seat. Buckled the top buckle. And, then, P opened her mouth and out came a steady stream of white gunk. It looked like she was an extrusion machine at a tofu factory. Fantastic.

Took her out. Brought her upstairs. Gave her a bath. And, brought her back to her high chair to monitor and relax. She was coloring when Mr. mouse got home just before ten. He brought her upstairs and with much coaxing got her to go to sleep.

Now, the car seat is clean. And, since it seemed like a convenient juncture, we turned it around before re-installing it. Technically she's not yet 22 pounds, but we're turning it around anyway.

We'll see how today goes.


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse and the Monday Morning Surprise

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, our CEO came to our Monday morning meeting and announced that our department's boss was leaving the company. He also announced the new lead.

I don't think much will change for most people. But, I later learned that several of the younger people on the team were pretty stunned. I guess that's when I realized I'd been around the block more than once.

Will keep you posted.


Cheers!
mouse

11.29.10: Winding Down 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

Despite having to work a little, I had a glorious weekend.

I took Wednesday off and spent the morning at home playing with P. We headed out to Mr. mouse's office to meet him for lunch and to give P a chance to spend some time in Mr. mouse's office one more time to give Mr. mouse a sense of closure.

We walked out for lunch in the middle of a storm and found a calm oasis of Middle Eastern yumminess before heading back to the office. P slept in my arms for the afternoon which is always a good thing.

And, we headed home after rehanging the white board, gathering the walking sushi pieces and packing the coloring book and Mr. Potato Head with some potentially good news, but not anything we're banking on quite yet.

Thursday was the usually hectic but always eminently satisfying Thanksgiving meal. P had no interest in any of it outside of the roast turkey. She's a brave kid, but isn't crazy about having new experiences thrown at her. She likes to take her time.

Friday morning was Black Friday and I ended up buying a bunch of digital photo frames for P's teachers at school.

We spent the afternoon napping and hanging out with girlfriend at home. Well, Friday evening she wants out of the gate and goes downstairs and grabs her shoes and asks for her coat. She wants to go out after hanging out inside the house for two straight days. Since it was way too cold for a walk we loaded her into the car and headed out to pick up random stuff at Target. She had fun. We got errands done. Not bad for a Friday night.

Saturday morning we got the house cleaned. Yes! And, then, P napped for a couple of hours before we woke her and loaded her into the car and headed out for a toddler birthday party at Pump It Up. Well, P was not a big fan. And, after putting up with it for about 40 minutes, she walked over to the shoe rack and grabbed her shoes and tried to put them on. We had such a tough time keeping a straight face, she was so cute. She said bye and gave hugs and was giddy when we put on her shoes. She went and grabbed ours for us as well. And, we drove home to meet up with some friends for some pizza and some beer.

Sunday. Day five off in a row. Blissful long weekend. Breakfast at home and then 18 month doctor's visit. P was fine with answering the doctor's questions. She was proud of her 56 words. She wanted nothing to do with the physical exam. Well, it was short and sweet and she remains a steady 50th percentile noggin, 25th percentile height and 5th percentile weight.

P and I napped once we got home. We went for a quick walk in the afternoon to take pictures of her in her new boots. And, we spent the rest of the evening enjoying the antics of our toddler. We read. We played zoo. We folded towels. We spun in circles. We had bath. And, then we put her to sleep for the night.

I needed the time off so badly. I feel like I'm in a much better spot. Today, we try P on a sippy cup for the ride home. Our 18 month old may have seen her last bottle this Thanksgiving. At home and at school she has a regular cup, but for the ride home she needs something with a safety net. We'll see how it goes today.


Cheers!
mouse

Thanksgiving List 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

We all slept in yesterday so I didn't have time to blog before hitting the flurry of food preparation. And, I only have a couple of moments now so let's get down to business.

The Mouse 2010 Thankful List (in no particular order):

Mr. mouse, P, the continued health of our family, our friends, the roof over our head - it may leak at times but it's ours nonetheless, the food on the table - may it nourish us, our faith - may it sustain us, the wonderful memories each day brings, the new things P learns and teaches us, the adventures of trying to raise a toddler right, saving for retirement, work that I enjoy, and some level of wellness - even if I am not where I want to be, I am better off than I could be.


Cheers!
mouse

Faith

Dear Friends and Family,

Sometimes you have to have faith - faith that things happen for a reason, faith that things will work out, faith that the future will be a better place than the present. And, for some reason, despite all life has thrown at me, I still have faith.

Yesterday, Mr. mouse got some pretty bad news on the job front. The position he had been hoping for got filled and it wasn't with his name. I think he'll continue looking both internally and externally as he weighs his options. I think I'll continue plugging away at work as all of this plays out.

You can't predict the future.

I remember there was a job I hated. Hated as in could not bear it hated. And, I was ready to quit. And, my friend convinced me to wait one more day, just one day he said. And, I did. And, the next day was Tuesday and I had a dentist appointment and I was headed into work late and heard on the radio that a plane hit the World Trade Center. I assumed it was a private plane that clipped the antenna. Well, I quickly learned otherwise. And, the world hasn't been the same since.

Needless to say, I didn't give my resignation that day. And, I learned it's not over until it's over. And, when it's over, it might be completely different from what you thought it was going to be.

I have faith that this will be less dramatic but equally fine.


Cheers!
mouse

Resilient Mouse

Dear Friends and Family,

Today. If I make it through today I have a day off with P.

Mr. mouse heard more news on the job front. Still waiting to hear back from one more group, but so far, it looks like he'll be Mr. mom for a couple of months if things continue along the current trend.

Things could be worse.


Cheers!
mouse

11.22.10: Bi-Annual Dentist Visit

Dear Friends and Family,

We drove over Friday night while P was sleeping. And, we drove back Sunday during nap time. And, in between we spent time running around outside enjoying the fall weather and letting friends play with P.

I am happy to report that the beating my gums took during the pregnancy and breastfeeding stages seems to be behind us.

Okay. P wants computer.


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse Waits

Dear Friends and Family,

Well. If your only option is waiting. Then, guess what, you wait.

And, if nothing you can do will change the outcome or how long you wait, then, you wait patiently.

And, that, my friends, is what I have been doing the past three months.

While work rages around me and life's ups and downs lift me up and drag me down, I have been waiting to learn what Mr. mouse's work situation will be in 2011.

I can't say I'm a big fan of not knowing. I can't say I'm a big fan of waiting. I find comfort in knowing, in stability, in routine. And, it's tough waiting for all of the pieces to fall into place.

Sushi come when sushi ready.


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse and November Frenzy

Dear Friends and Family,

November is always a frenzied month. And, this November is no different.

If I can get through the next week, I'll have a couple of days to relax and eat and play and enjoy the launch of the holiday frenzy.

Then, the madness of snow tires, holiday shopping, cards, tree, and everything else can hit with a vengeance.

Um, would it be wrong to wish it was December 31st? There's a perspective and peace that comes with having all of the craziness behind us and looking into a new year.

Five more work days. I can do this.


Cheers!
mouse

Toddler Conversations

Dear Friends and Family,

Sometimes it's tough to remember that P is only 18 months old. After all, she's communicating so much and understands so much.

When I asked if she wanted her coat off for the car ride home, she said yes. Then, she knew to wait while I buckled her into her safety seat. Then, I asked if she wanted her shoes off, and she said yes. Then, I pulled her socks partially off so she can pull at them on the ride home. Then, she knew to wait while I got her bottle out. She said please. And, we were on our way. She signaled for diaper. And, she asked for milk when she was done and got annoyed when I said no more.

We went to pick up Mr. mouse and she said Daddy when she saw him in the mirror. And, then started to whine until I asked if she wanted potato at which point she gave the snack signal. We stopped by the golden arches and continued on the way home. She signaled done with the potatoes and asked for a drink. And, she signaled diaper again, probably wondering why we weren't changing her.

And, when we got home she signaled a third time, and lo and behold, she was right. Diaper.

Granted this is not philosophical musings, but it's tough to remember that P is only 18 months old when she's so good at telling us what's on her mind. When she melts down, I'm like stop crying and just tell us what you want. Then, I remember she's only 18 months old and toddlers don't have all the words to tell us what they want.


Cheers!
mouse

11.15.10: Partially Re-Centered

Dear Friends and Family,

We flew out Friday to attend a service in memory of our dear friend, G's husband. It was beautiful - hearing all of the stories. It was heartbreaking - hearing all of the friends and family members. It was heartening - to see all of the support. It was all the things that we humans need when dealing with an unexplained, unexpected loss.

Then, instead of staying for a night of partying and celebrating life, we headed home. And, Mr. mouse and I got part of the fridge cleaned out and part of the mail sorted through and some of the kitchen island cleared and some of the laundry done and other odds and ends to make us feel a little more human.

We took 18 month pictures and did 18 month prints. We let P run around the house and play and read and do the things 18 months old will do. She colored and drew circles. She went down the stairs with some adult supervision. She evicted bunny from her crib. And, she played with her shoes - her Auntie Janet would be proud.

And, now, it's Monday. Eight more work days until Thanksgiving.


Cheers!
mouse

Healthier Thanksgiving 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and that means it's time to contemplate the annual mouse Thanksgiving menu.

I made a promise last year to try to make Thanksgiving healthier, one dish at a time. So, last year, instead of my yearly indulgence in Pillsbury crescent rolls, I baked bread for Thanksgiving.

This year, I crossed the blueberry pie and the pumpkin pie off the list. We never make the blueberry pie. And, we never finish the pies we make. This change increases the chances the pie gets finished and ultimately reduces the number of calories we're consuming since we're eating one pie and not three - which must be healthier.

Why did I keep apple pie and not pumpkin pie? Well, for one, we both like apple pie more. And, we can make it with real ingredients vs. pumpkin pie, for us, comes out of two cans - one of pumpkin and one of evaporated milk. And, last but not least, it's prettier. Nothing like a giant pie at the Thanksgiving table.


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse and More Ballast

Dear Friends and Family,

The tank is running close to empty and I'm thinking about ways to economize.

If it was my car's gas tank, this would be a simple answer of getting more gas. But, it's not. It's my personal gas tank. I'm getting tired.

Work has been crazy. Commuting has been a drag. The house is a disaster. Mr. mouse has been interviewing. The weekends have been packed. Oh, and I found out I lost a close friend before his time.

And, hence, my quandary.

I'm taking Friday off for the funeral. Originally, I had a birthday party for Saturday for a girlfriend who's been through a ton recently. But, now, I'm beginning to realize, I need to come home for the weekend. I need to recharge and that'll be best accomplished here at the mouse pad with P and some serious cleaning and serious rest instead of partying with the girlfriends Saturday night.

I'm going to spend some time, myself, to feel human again - get my brows and nails in order, get my house in order, and hopefully get enough gas in the tank to last me until vacation.


Cheers!
mouse

P and Four Magic Words

Dear Friends and Family,

Sometimes your child does something that just melts your heart and makes you think now is the best moment ever. Never mind that you've had that thought for the past eighteen months. This time, you're sure you're right.

P is growing by leaps and bounds. She longer and leaner and more solid. But, more importantly, she's putting so many pieces together.

She says yum when she sees food or pictures of food. She says yeah when Mr. mouse carries her down the stairs. She says whee when she see a picture of a slide (never mind that it was a picture of the emergency slide on the safety information card on the plane). She says more bottle, milk please and looks at you to see if she got it right.

She's begun dancing. She tries to reattach a broken crayon. She wipes her hands, her nose, the table and her parents if asked to clean up. She covers her mouth when she coughs after watching me do the same for the past month.

She says please and thank you.

Oh, the four magic words? more bottle, milk please (Sunday night, on the way home from the airport). It's like when she said more for the first time, seeing if she got it right. She's said two words strung together, like more book or thank you, but she thinks of those as one notion. This time, she strung words and phrases together to get to a sentence.

It's a wonderful time.


Cheers!
mouse

11.08.10: Mouse Expands Her Horizons

Dear Friends and Family,

We took P further than we've ever taken her before - for a quick weekend trip to the Emerald City of Seattle. We always try to get together with Mr. mouse's BFF and family to celebrate the November birthdays.

P did well on the flight out and we made it back in one piece on the flight back. In between was a chance for all of us to watch the girls attempt to play together. P isn't of an age yet when she's really playing with others much less playing nicely with others. There was a lot of no, mine and pushing. I can't say she did us proud this weekend. Still, it was a chance for the adults to catch up and for the kids to eat ice cream and cake.

Friday, we went out for conveyor belt sushi. Saturday, we had a big brunch date and then we played at home and after the ladies of the house fell asleep, the dads went out for late night coffee. Sunday, we went for Taiwanese and then headed to the airport.

On the flight out, P was looking at the safety information card. And, she saw the picture of the plane with the emergency slide deployed. And, she pointed and said, "whee!" Okay, how can you stay mad at someone that cute for long?


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse and Teaching Moments

Dear Friends and Family,

Today is a coaching moment for someone who works for me. He's been procrastinating on the 2011 plan and it's due today. Time to have a discussion on priorities.


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse Seeks Closure

Dear Friends and Family,

Sometimes you just need to listen to your body.

And, my body has been telling me, "sleep!" I've been exhausted to the point where it's bad. And, when I sleep, my dreams have been racked with miscellaneous stuff as my brain tries to sort through all of stuff it's been trying to sort through.

And, that, tells me it's time to prioritize and shed some ballast. Time to regroup and recenter and reset and retrench and start again. And, now, reality sets in.

This weekend we've got plans with Mr. mouse's best friend - to celebrate their joint birthdays. Next weekend we're going to see G. The two weeks after that are crazy times at work. And, that brings me to December. I'm more and more liking the idea of a five day vacation in December, before the craziness of the holidays kicks in.

If I look at my top three, this makes sense. We should have more information on Mr. mouse's work by then. The elections are clearly over. And, my work is a longer term thing that will quickly bleed into 2011.

And, this gives me something to look forward to. A light at the end of the tunnel. Let's just hope it's not a train.


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse and the Phone Call

Dear Friends and Family,

When the cell phone rings at 8:03 AM at work and a friend who never calls your cell phone at 8:03 AM calls, you know it's not good news. Somehow you hope it is, but you know it isn't. And, then, the shock and numbness seep over you like a dense, cold fog. And, you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

I believe in reincarnation. How do I reconcile that with a general belief in God? Well, here's my twisted way of making it all work. I believe an infinitely graceful God would not set up a game that we mere mortals could not win. I believe he gives us as many quarters as we need to figure this game out. And, when we reach the end we find heaven or nirvana. So, it's just a matter of getting through and solving the puzzles in all of the levels. And, that helps me maintain my sanity when life ceases to make sense.

I wonder what lesson God wants G to learn in this life in her journey. And what lesson G wanted G's husband to learn in this life in his journey. And, selfishly, I wonder what lesson God wants me to learn in this life in my journey. I guess I don't know. Perhaps, one day I will.

Until then, I guess I need to trust. And, there's comfort in knowing that we can't lose. If I die before I figure out my life lesson, there's a stack of quarters waiting so that I can try again.


Cheers!
mouse

11.02.10: Back Again

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, if I were going to make lemonade out of lemons, I'd say it was good to see so many of my friends this past weekend.

We flew out to see G and to offer what support we could as we all wait for more news. She's amazing. I wish I could be that strong.

I wasn't sure what I'd find when we went out.

I found a house full of food and love and people with hugs at the ready, a steady stream of conversation to distract you, a focus on facts and details, and a concerted effort organizing and mobilizing and harnessing the good will of thousands of people out there wanting to help.

We're all hoping and praying for good news.


Cheers!
mouse

Nothing ][

Dear Friends and Family,

Sometimes Martin Gore in his twisted world seems to know me better than anyone.

Sitting target
Sitting waiting
Anticipating
Nothing
Nothing

Life
Is full of surprises
It advertises
Nothing
Nothing

What am I trying to do
What am I trying to say
I'm not trying to tell you anything
You didn't know
When you woke up today

Sitting target
Sitting praying
God is saying
Nothing
Nothing

Always
Knows the prospects
Learn to expect
Nothing
Nothing

As we continue to wait for news, sometimes I'm full of hope and sometimes I'm filled with fear and sometimes I'm drained and just waiting and that's when I sink into Martin's world.

Let's hope the weekend brings good news.


Cheers!
mouse

Girlfriends

Dear Friends and Family,

I had a job once for a very short period of time - six months. A former manager called me to say he had a fabulous opportunity that was perfect for me. I decided to take him up on the offer.

I found a three ring circus with a mad scientist as the ringleader. After six months of living in a Dalian Alice in Wonderland, I decided to find new work. But, in those six months I found several friends for life. There's Trixie and G and Frenchie and Ms. Jordan and so many others.

And, that's why I believe that things happen for a reason and even in your darkest moments your friends can keep you sane and make you laugh. And, I am grateful for the friends that I have.


Cheers!
mouse

Waiting and Hoping

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday morning, on my way into work, I was reading through my emails and came to a text message from one of my close friends to tell me that... well, I won't go into the details of it here, but suffice it to say, I wanted to drop everything, get on a plane and go hug my friend, G. Since then I've been glued to Facebook and to G's blog and to G's twitter feed and to any place on line where I'm likely to come across more information.

I keep hoping for good news. I keep praying for good news. I want it to be good news so badly because I can't imagine life otherwise.

It's weird. Life yesterday morning was about getting to work, working on our 2011 plans, beating traffic, getting P to school, and all of the daily trivial details that make up our lives. Today, it all feels different. It all feels a little less important. Today, I want to take P with me to go see G and see if there's anything I can do to help. Anything, because anything feels better than waiting and hoping and praying.

Please keep my friend, G, in your thoughts and prayers.


Cheers!
mouse

The Look of Winter

Dear Friends and Family,

Biggest storm of the past 70 years headed our way. And, that means it'll look a lot more like winter tomorrow than it did yesterday because all the leaves will have fallen off of the trees. And, with October coming to a close, I've begun to think about what lies ahead for me.

Perhaps it's time for a Top Three?

There's Klein. I'd like to take a week off and spend time with her away from work and, if possible, away from home. I'd like to play with her on the beach, in the sand. Yes, I think I need a vacation.

There's work - both mine and Mr. mouse's. I'd like to know what happens to Mr. mouse in the whole reshuffling his work is going through. And, I've begun to think about me. I had a good talk with my former manager yesterday and he gave me some very good advice about how to think about my own position.

And, there's Election Day. We already voted so there's nothing actionable on this one. But, I'm watching the media to see how this election cycle turns out. There's so much hate and vitriol and misinformation out there. My prediction? I think we're headed back to the future to an era of robber barons. I think at some point the masses will revolt and the age of the union will return.

So, where does that leave me? Well, I think I should hang tight for the next couple of weeks until we launch a big initiative at work and Mr. mouse gets a feel for what work will look like (or not look like) for him in 2011. Then, I think we should plan a vacation - a five day trip if we can't get the whole week off, and enjoy ourselves. The elections will have come and gone by then. And, whatever the outcome, life will go on.

And my work? I've got two to dos from my meeting yesterday - time with my manager to see where I stand and an updated resume for my old manager.


Cheers!
mouse

10.25.10: Toddler Times

Dear Friends and Family,

P makes weekends fun.

Saturday, we slept in then ate breakfast. We went out for a haircut, which for the second time in a row, P did not like. We drove out to check out a warehouse sale. P napped. We went shoe shopping for P. We went clothes shopping for P. We went grocery shopping for all of us. P was a darling - eating strawberries and crackers, drinking her water, and captivating us with her giant eyes. We got home and P was in bed by 10:30. Ouch.

Sunday, P woke up at 8:30. Wow! We hustled to meet some friends at the zoo. P sat in the stroller and watched the people and animals go by. Not sure she made the connection to the animals. I think she "got it" at the end with the giraffes and the camels. Not sure.

Then, we let her play out the afternoon sans nap. She slept from 6:15 to 8:30 and then played for an hour before falling asleep at her usual bedtime of 9:30.

The highlight of our weekend? On Saturday, when P signaled diaper before pooping instead of after. We let her sit on top of the potty with the lid down before taking her down to change her. Sunday, she cried when she pooped. Go figure.


Cheers!
mouse

Gratitude

Dear Friends and Family,

The other night, P and I were playing on the bed. She was laughing. I was laughing. Mr. mouse came home and walked into the room and he started laughing. And, I realized how fortunate we are, and more specifically, how fortunate I am.

I was thinking about what it must have been like for my Mom when I was P's age. She was a lot less stable, financially. The mean streets of the inner City in the 70s were a lot tougher than the streets of the new millennia. My Dad had issues when I was growing up and wasn't nearly as involved or supportive a parent as Mr. mouse is. My parents fought often and my Dad threatened deportation. My parents fought often and sometimes it got physical. My parents fought often and the emotional damage was both broad and deep.

And, here we blissfully go to work and come home and laugh and play and read and enjoy our lives. And, sometimes I feel a little guilty. Why do I deserve this much happiness? And, sometimes I get a little angry. Why didn't my mom get to enjoy this much happiness? And, I realize there are no good answers.

Then, I am grateful. I am grateful to have escaped the trap of statistics that say people have a probability of perpetuating cycles they are born into. And, I am grateful for Mr. mouse for being such a supportive spouse. And, I am grateful I get to share the joy with P and start her off on her journey with a different set of statistics. And, ironically enough, I hope she doesn't escape the probability of her statistics. I hope she does perpetuate the cycle she is born into and enjoys even more abundance and happiness in her adult life.


Cheers!
mouse

Hungry Mouse

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday afternoon I was tired and frazzled and emotionally wiped and fighting the distracted eating monster. And, I didn't snack. And, the sky didn't fall.

I was hungry on the ride home, but, again, the sky didn't fall. I was tempted to snack when I got home, and I didn't, and, again, the sky didn't fall. I wasn't gut busting full when I went to sleep, and, last I checked, the sky didn't fall.

Well, I'll put that in the success column and see what today brings.


Cheers!
mouse

Day Two and Alive

Dear Friends and Family,

Ready for the shocker? I entered in all of my food yesterday and the world did not end. It was surprisingly easy to get back on the bandwagon, at least for a day. We'll see how today goes.

P went to sleep at 7:45 last night, close to two hours earlier than she typically does. She fell asleep shortly after we got home and didn't stir when I put her down in her crib. And, surprisingly enough, she slept through the entire night, sans dinner. She's going to be ravenous when she wakes. Speaking of which, I should go wake her soon so she'll be ready to go when I am.


Cheers!
mouse

Committed

Dear Friends and Family,

P's almost 18 months and I'm still carrying around her first house.

Roger, one of my friends at work, stopped by yesterday to tell me he had just signed up for Weight Watchers. I told him I'd start tracking as well.

I entered in my breakfast, lunch and snacks for today. And, I have three points left for dinner. This, my friends, is why I haven't lost my pregnancy weight. I'll clearly use some flex to get through the day. But, now, I know, I don't have any wiggle room for animal crackers or other randomness throughout the day.

Here's to getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight.


Cheers!
mouse

10.18.10: Data Dump

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, I just got a LOT of time back. I'm not sure who I'm more peeved with - my quarterback for having an atrocious game, my kicker for missing three (yes, count 'em, three) field goal attempts, or myself for not taking a trade that would have gotten me through this week. Well, any which way you slice it, I'm going to be eliminated this week and that means I get time back. Somehow, it doesn't feel as good it should given I love getting time back.

And, because life wouldn't be fun without some excitement. Mr. mouse's company has been reorganizing and rightsizing. And, at some point we will find out if he has a job in the new organization or if we will become a single income household. I think he finds out in the next month or so. I think I'm more anxious than he is, not because I'm worried about the money, but because I know how much he loves his job. He's been at it for so long it's tough for me to imagine him doing something different.

But, to end on a high note, we had a fabulous weekend at home with P. The weather was beautiful. We went to the park both days to take pictures. And, we let P play in the playground - she's still not a big fan of swings or slides, but she liked the climber and liked jumping down with some parental assist. We also go to see some serious toddler dancing - there's nothing funnier. And, because she's a darling, we got to see some toddler logic - she bumped her head, and wanted to be soothed, and because her teether is soothing, she held it up to her head to see if it would make her head feel better as well.


Cheers!
mouse

Social Media Overload

Dear Friends and Family,

Uncle.

There's just too much "stuff" to consume. And, not enough time to consume it. There's facebook. There's foursquare. There's flickr. There's email. There's blogs. There's fantasy football. There's the news. And, my daily sudoku puzzle to keep the noggin sharp.

I can't keep up. Something's gotta go. What happens if I disengage from a social media platform? Does the world come to a screeching halt? No. Okay, phew, wouldn't want that to happen. Does my life come to a screeching halt? No. Okay, phew, that's a good thing.

So, seems like a low risk way to get back some time.

Foursquare. That can go. Easy. Done.

News. Sad, but true. I'm willing to sacrifice that to the time gods.

Facebook. Limited to Top News vs. Most Recent.

Which leaves a manageable amount of stuff to consume. I think. Well, let's try it for awhile and see if my mornings seem less scattered. Perhaps I should take a week off from all of it and just do some weights in the morning or get on the exercise bike. Now that's a thought.


Cheers!
mouse

Still Alive

Dear Friends and Family,

I made it another week in my fantasy football league.

I have yet to watch a full game. I still need to think for a couple of moments to figure out the difference between an RB and a WR. But, despite all that, thanks to some immense luck, I have eluded elimination. My day will come.

Remember my league? The one with the goofy rules? Each week we eliminate the team that scored the lowest points that week. Then, their players become free agents and we "redraft" them in reverse order of that week's scores.

Last week, since I was second from the bottom, I had first pick of the eliminated team. While it's fun to have first pick, it's not good to be the second lowest scoring team. We'll see how this all plays out. Sooner or later (more probably sooner rather than later), my day will come.

I'm just glad to have made it this far.


Cheers!
mouse

P Catches the Flu

Dear Friends and Family,

Yes. What's old is new again.

After hacking for the past two weeks, I've finally convinced the rest of the family to join in the fun and games. They called from school yesterday to say that P had a temperature of 101 and needed to go home.

We made it home in one piece thanks to some light traffic. And, since I've got phone calls all day, ironically enough, Mr. mouse is going to somehow manage with her. I wish I could stay home with her. But, I missed two days last week to being sick and one afternoon to a doctor's appointment and I've got another one this week and it just seems like there's too much going on to miss yet another day.

I really to wish I could stay home with her. My little P. There's nothing like holding her when she wants to be held.


Cheers!
mouse

10.11.10: Reunion Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

We went home this weekend for reunion. And, it was a success of somewhat limited scope.

P was okay on the plane. We had fun walking outside on Saturday. My mom got to play with P. I got to see a bunch of old friends at reunion. And, we saw Mr. mouse's folks on Sunday.

So? Well, P had a rough night on Saturday so Mr. mouse had to leave reunion early to do disaster recovery. And, I got to see a bunch of friends from freshman and sophomore year, but the junior and senior year friends remain MIA through two reunions now. And, last but not least, because we had an early afternoon flight, we had only the briefest of visits with Mr. mouse's folks.

Still, all in all, it was a good weekend. Time traveling with P is always good.

One thing that's interesting is watching my mom and Mr. mouse's step-mom with P. I think my mom scares P right off the bat. She comes in the room a rush of energy and noise and P just stares at the hyper-kinetic whirlwind and runs for our laps. Mr. mouse's step-mom, on the other hand, approaches slowly and let's P get used to her before playing quietly with her. I think P does better with the latter, but I don't know how to tell my mom that without hurting her feelings.

And, last but not least, P learned to take her shirt off by herself yesterday. Excellent.


Cheers!
mouse

Deb Gibson Strikes Again?

Dear Friends and Family,

Ever since I found an impossible restaurant reservation, Mr. mouse and I have jokingly referred to my luck as an alter ego - Deb Gibson for her song "Only in My Dreams."

Deb Gibson has found a couple of scores. And, this morning looking for hotel rooms for a trip we're contemplating committing to, I think she may have scored again.

We'll see. It may be a dive. It may not be available. There may be hidden charges. Anything can happen.

But, I'm hopeful that it all works out.


Cheers!
mouse

10.06.10: Mouse Catches the Flu

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm not dead although there were times this past weekend I wasn't so sure.

Yes. I, who so prides herself in never getting sick, got sick. Fever, chills, aches, cough, hacking cough, headache, crusty eyes sick. It was beautiful. Really. So, I'm not sure I have much recollection of the weekend beside sitting in bed, lying in bed, lying on the couch and lying on the floor resting in whatever comfortable position I could find.

I worked from home Monday and Tuesday which entailed driving P out to school and then parking the car at the train station so that Mr. mouse could pick her up in the evening.

I think I was able to stay on top of my work, and get some rest. But, today, I'm going to attempt the office. My poor colleagues. They're going to have to listen to me hack my brains out.

Grossed out yet? Because I am.

On to more fun topics. P's ever growing vocabulary. She's begun saying yes (yeah) and her no is a verbal no now instead of just a shake of the head. She's definitely picked up mine (mine) and milk (milk, drawn out with the middle going down and the end of the word going up). She's got book and bottle down and says more book and more bottle. She's said hi and bye on occasion, but not consistently. My current focus has been teaching her the word please. More book please.

She's figured out where the animals are in her lift a flap book. And, her current interest is in finding Emily Elizabeth on every page of her Clifford book. She likes to make fish sounds in her Good Night book. And, she loves stacking people in her bus to wheel around the rug. She's got body parts down in time for her 18 month check up. And, she's figuring out colors more consistently now. She'll point to Mr. mouse or me if we ask where's mommy or where's daddy. She'll point to herself if we ask where's P. And, she'll point to her classmates if we ask where's so and so.

And, that, is life with P.

The funny thing was we got selected for the follow-up census questionnaire. And, in it you have to provide more detailed information about each member of your household, including P. One of the questions was speaks English, well, okay, not well, not at all. And, I wanted to put, come on, she's not even two years old yet, but that wasn't an option. So, I picked not well which was the closest fit. Perhaps they'll assume she speaks another language better, but, well, that wouldn't be true either.


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse Catches Up

Dear Friends and Family,

Not surprisingly, I overslept yesterday morning - somehow convincing myself that it was Saturday when the alarm clock rang.

And, today is Friday, and I've got to catch up on emails and stuff before I can settle into the weekend. Every week it seems like the next week will be less hectic than the last. But, every week something new pops up that keeps the craziness constant.

Perhaps I need a vacation - some days off with nothing to do. I'll have to ask Mr. mouse about that... I'm feeling like I'm burning out or at least I'm burning more than I'm taking in and that will eventually lead to burn out.

Time to recharge.


Cheers!
mouse