Last Week of Half Day Camp

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Wednesday which means if I get through today the week is half over. I've got lots to do today and tomorrow. And, I've got a budget to watch. But, overall, I'm feeling good. I'm vaguely managing to stay on top of my to do list. I'm vaguely managing to stay on top of my budget. And, I'm vaguely making progress on the house.

It's not glamorous. But, for now, it's life as I know it.

P and I are going to pick up mail today. Then, she's going to a kid's indoor playground. She was willing to trade off lunch at her favorite restaurant for the playground so we'll be able to stay within budget. Then, we come home and pack dinner. We're off to the museum tonight.

What have I noticed from being on a budget for the past three weeks? Well, we eat out a lot less. I don't buy random things on-line. I spoil P less often with impulsive acts of whimsy. I'm more conscious about parking and buy the right amount. I buy less coffee and other drinks at Starbucks. And, I think that's about it. I'm sure there's other stuff. Mr. mouse packs lunch and hits the vending machine less often and spoils P less often with impulsive acts of whimsy.

Maybe the other thing is we defer purchases. We'll still buy things, but we space them out. I'm not sure how this saves money, but it does since the cash is deferred.

Oh, I just remembered. I fill up on gas less often. I find myself putting partial tanks in the car instead of full tanks. I can't wait until August when the budget resets for the new month. We're in a decent spot for the rest of July, but it'll be nice to have a fresh sheet.


Cheers!
mouse

Napping Kid, Working mouse

Dear Friends and Family,

P effectively slept the day away. And, I worked on the most frustrating project of all time.

I spent the day copying files over from our NAS to an external drive only to learn that our iMac doesn't recognize the drive. Sigh. Well, Mr. mouse is convinced that the only viable solution is an external hard drive formatted in Apple formatting attached to his drive. Yes, in 2014 we're taking a huge step backward to an external hard drive. Well, I'm convinced an external hard drive needs a back up external hard drive. Otherwise, if the drive fails, you lose everything. Then, the external drive needs a cloud back up.

So far, we copied everything we have from the NAS to an external hard drive. We planned on making some changes to the iPhoto library before uploading the external hard drive to the cloud since the NAS would have everything on it as a back up. But, now, since the Apple doesn't recognize the external hard drive we're on to Plan B.

Plan B has us backing up the external hard drive to the cloud without the changes. Then, we raid the NAS for parts, scavenging two drives from it. We put those drive in two enclosures we scavenge from the bed. We format the drives into Apple format and then copy the files from... wait, I'm not entirely sure where we copy the files from... the external drive? the cloud? hang on...

Then, we make changes to the files as needed. Then, we have to figure out the automation piece of it. Okay. I admit it. I'm lost again.

See? Frustrating as all get out. Well, I'll take more time to think it through while P is at camp.


Cheers!
mouse

07.21.14: Lake Swimming

Dear Friends and Family,

Saturday, we spent the day doing stuff with P. She had dance in the morning. Then, we ate lunch and headed out for passport applications. Then, we went to the mall to pick up swimsuits, but it looked like the tops didn't fit so we returned them. Afterwards, we went to the park and picked up acorns and played in the climbing structure and on the swings. P's gotten really good on the swings, which only serves as another reminder that I've got a big kid in the house. We came home to eat dinner because we're a little behind on our budget.

Sunday, we drove up to a friend's house for a birthday party on the lake. P spent the entire time in the water or on a float. I love spending time in the water, but by the time we were done, I felt a little water logged. It's been a long time since I spent a full day in deep fresh water. It might be high school. I can't recall. Anyway, she had a lot of fun and I had a lot of fun. And, she's forgiven me for letting her capsize at the end. She was on a float with a friend. I thought her friend's dad had them, he thought I had them, and just as we realized neither of us had them, they fell off their float. They both had on life vests so they were fine, but the shock of it all upset the two girls. Well, P's forgiven me.

Now, it's Monday. I've got one folder left to back up on to an external drive. Once that's done Mr. mouse can start modifying the external drive to meet his needs. And, once that's done, we can upload it into the cloud. I think. I'll have to give some more thought to the process later today.


Cheers!
mouse

New Approach Needed

Dear Friends and Family,

We decided that neither approach to uploading the files to the cloud were working. At 1GB a day, we're looking at a little over three years to finish our upload. Clearly, that can't be the right answer. So, today, we're going to try yet another approach. Mr. mouse is bringing home our external hard drive. We're going to back up the NAS to the hard drive and then we're going to try and mirror the drive. We'll see if that works. Fingers crossed.

I should also write about our play date in the park yesterday. It was so refreshing to see the parents. As much as I'm enjoying summer vacation with P, I think I'm a little starved for adult conversation. It's nice to spend time with other adults.

I spent a lot of time with one dad, talking about money and how to have that conversation with your kid. At first it felt weird talking to P about money. I didn't want her to think we're poor. Nor did I want her to think we're rich. But, most importantly, I didn't want her to think money is important. Money is important, but not as important as being kind or trying hard or having will power or a bunch of other things. Now, a couple of years into it, it doesn't feel weird. P understands that things cost money, that money isn't limitless, that money needs to be earned, and that tracking money and making decisions about money is a normal part of adult life.

I think that's the way it is with a lot of things. It's weird talking to your kid about it, at first. But, if you persist, then it becomes the new normal.


Cheers!
mouse

Lazy Summer Days

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, P and I went to the park for a play date with a friend P met at camp.

We had a picnic lunch in the shade surrounded by the smell of wonderful flowers. Then, we played in the park. Or rather P and her friend played while the friend's mom and I did our best to let the two of them play. I love playing with P. But, I also don't see the point of a play date if she's not playing with her friend.

I feel like she's growing up so quickly. Sometimes I miss being the center of her universe, but I guess it's just a normal part of growing up. Now, she's more interested in directing the play and less interested in my suggestions. I suppose I should take what I can get, since in a few years she may not even be interested in directing the play.

We've got another play date today. This one is with her school so P will be able to see her classmates from school. She hasn't seen some of them since summer vacation started so this will be good.

Tomorrow, we probably have one more play date before the weekend begins. One of P's classmates invited us over. And, P wants to go. So, we'll probably skip the free concert in the park and head to their house. It'll be fun, but by Saturday, I'll be play dated out and glad for a day alone.

The other thing on my plate? The cloud transfer. It's not going well at all. It needs to be done from my computer. And, it's got my computer bogged to a stand still. Sigh.


Cheers!
mouse

18.5GB and Counting

Dear Friends and Family,

To be honest, I have no idea what's really going on with the upload to the cloud since my computer isn't really responding to my requests anymore. But, since the paper is still "flying" across the screen, I can only assume it is doing something.

Today, I've got to go through P's art work from June. And, spend a little time on payroll from Mr. mouse's computer which promises to be the low point of my day since I'm just not good from his computer. Then, I'll spend a little time on the house. And, hopefully, a fun afternoon with P.


Cheers!
mouse

07.14.14: 5GB and Counting

Dear Friends and Family,

The weekend... The weekend... The weekend...

Oh! I remember! Saturday morning was a flurry of activity. We went to get our haircut. We went to dance class. We got the house cleaned. We wondered if the rain would ever stop.

Then, P did stuff with Mr. mouse while I napped. When I woke up, we attempted the passport, but the line was absolutely dysfunctional, so we left and went to the birthday party. P had bunches of fun dressed up as a princess. She got made up. She got sprinkled with fairy dust. She got her nails polished for the first time. She sang and danced to Frozen. Wow.

We met up with Uncle Joseph for dinner before heading home for the evening.

Sunday, we went to another birthday party. Then, we went to a baseball game. It could not have been a better game. The sun was shining. We had great seats in the shade. P ate her ice cream while we watched a relatively high scoring game. In the end, we didn't really care who won or lost, we were just happy to be in the sun enjoying a fine summer day.

And, now, it's Monday. And, I'm using Mr. mouse's computer because mine is slowly copying over file after arduous file from our NAS drive to our new cloud drive. At the rate we're going, it'll be 160 days from now when we're done. No way! Way.

When's the best time to plant a tree? 20 years ago. When's the next best time? Today.


Cheers!
mouse

#momoftheyear Goes to the Zoo

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, P and I went to the zoo. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, eating lunch together, seeing the bison, the African painted dogs, the giraffes, the rhinoceroses, the zebras, the polar bears, the gibbons and the gorillas. Oh my!

When we got home, P got to wear her Elsa dress and recital costume while we played school. She read me a book on how the heart works before we watched 30 minutes of Super Y so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

And, now, it's Friday. I've got $34 left for this week's budget. Then, next week we'll be playing catch up from this weekend. Hopefully we can catch a breather the following week.

Now, to talk about a sad moment this week. I missed P's first "ring dive" at swim class. It was a perfect moment. She was in a make-up class that was my side of the pool (her regular class is on the far side of the pool). She had her ring in hand. She tossed it. I had the video rolling. Then, they called the parents in for the last five minutes so that the parents are queued to take the kids when class ends. I was torn between going in and maybe missing it or maybe catching it without the glass between us and staying out and getting the video with the glass between us. I opted for the latter, but then all of the other parents went in and started walking between me and P. Then, I decided to try and go in because clearly it wasn't working from outside. And, by the time I got in, I missed it all. She was all smiles from the dive and the ribbon and I was happy for her but a little sad that in the flurry of parents moving around I didn't get to see the actual dive. #momoftheyear

Hopefully there'll be other opportunities to capture her ring dive.


Cheers!
mouse

Budget Awareness

Dear Friends and Family,

I learned something yesterday. Tracking spending does make a difference.

Yesterday, we spent a lot of money for a weekday. I took P out to lunch and we stopped for Dairy Queen for a little treat. We bought gas. We picked up dry cleaning. Our housekeeper came over for our weekly visit. Mr. mouse got a haircut. We paid the water bill.

Before we started tracking, I probably wouldn't have thought twice about it. But, since we're tracking, I know today has to be a lighter day. So, I'm taking P to the zoo. We're members so entry is free. I'll pack a picnic lunch. We'll pay for parking and the rest will be free. Mr. mouse has begun packing his lunch which helps as well because we need to save up for Saturday.

Saturday, we've got housecleaning, haircut and passport. And, Sunday, we have groceries and Target. So, we'll probably start next week in the hole, but that's okay, now that we're tracking, we can work to dig ourselves out of the hole. Before, we would have been oblivious and would have kept on spending.


Cheers!
mouse

Killing Dead Time

Dear Friends and Family,

I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but you can kill dead time. Sometimes, it's a matter of thinking of it a different way. For example, let's say I need to drop P off at school and pick P up at school every day. And, let's say I need to run to Target to pick up stuff. Common sense says I should either tack it onto drop-off or to pick-up. And, you'd be right, most of the time. How do you decide between tacking it onto drop-off or pick-up? That's where it depends upon a lot of things.

For example, it depends upon what else do you have going on in the day. If you something shortly after drop-off, going to Target might be just the thing to kill what would otherwise be dead time. But, if you have something mid-day, going to Target after drop-off could create dead time. It also depends upon how long you think Target will take. If you're not sure, and you try to do it right before pick-up, then you need to leave a buffer which inevitably leads to dead time. Another thing to consider is the location of Target to school and school to home and how predictable travel times are. The more predictable travel times are the less dead time you'll have.

So, for example, yesterday, I picked P up from school. We had four things we needed to get done - lunch, park, school video, swim class. We could have gone to the park for a picnic lunch like we did yesterday and checked two items off of our list. But, then, we'd be stuck with potential dead time since the drive to swim class is highly variable. And, where to squeeze the video in?

Instead, we came home for lunch and video. Then, we drove out to a park by P's swim class. The drive from there to swim is less variable since it's close to swim class. We got to the park when we got to the park. Then, we played until 35 minutes before swim. We drove to swim, parked, and changed. P had about 10 minutes before her class began, but that's way better than 10-25 minutes before class.

We killed dead time! And, the Target example? Nine times out of ten, you're better off going right after drop-off since then the variability of how long the trip will take doesn't matter. Try to have a flexible thing, like park before a timed task like swim or drop-off. That's how to kill dead time.


Cheers!
mouse

Lazy, Hazy Summer Days

Dear Friends and Family,

P and I went to the park yesterday for a picnic. Just the two of us because she wanted time alone. And, wouldn't you know it, some kid at the park became convinced he wanted to play with P. I wasn't sure how to manage it. On the one hand, I think it's important to be inclusive. But, on the other hand, this was a total stranger, not someone she had any ties to in any way, shape or form. I'm still not sure.

At some point, it got too hot to play, so we left the park and came home. We did a science experiment. We worked on our China book. We watched TV. Well, P watched TV, I napped through the show. We created a journal of our experiment. We played a game. We ate dinner. We waited for Mr. mouse to get home.

When Mr. mouse got home, we all went for P's eye exam. She's already a hair myopic in one eye with an astigmatism. I felt crushed. There was a piece of me that was secretly hoping she'd get my eyes, but it seems like she might have gotten Mr. mouse's eyes. Oh well, there's nothing to be done about it.

Today, I've got a phone call to the dentist and a couple of small errands for the day before I go to pick up P. I wonder what we'll do with this afternoon... It'll depend upon the weather, I guess.


Cheers!
mouse

07.07.14: Carnivaled Out

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Monday and everyone's a little groggy in the mouse pad.

We spent three days soaking in the sun and celebrating the Fourth of July with our friends. Friday, we went to a carnival with two of P's friends, their four respective parents and our friend Uncle Joseph. We rode rides until everyone was hungry. Then, we went to Panera for a late lunch followed by a stop for frozen yogurt. Afterwards, the caravan of four cars wound our way down the highway to festival number two for the day. Yes, we were attempting two festivals with three kids.

Normally, we wouldn't try this, but with weather constraints, this was the only way it was really going to work out. And, work out it did. We put the kids into wagons and strollers. We loaded up the lawn chairs and bug spray. We walked over to the festival with fingers crossed that the hot air balloons would launch. And, they did! Granted it was about a half dozen balloons, but still, they launched. We ate random food for dinner. The kids got their faces painted. We watched the balloon glow. And, then, we waited the long wait for the fireworks. The kids did well with the wait. After the fireworks, we loaded everything back up and walked back to the car. P was asleep before we reached the expressway.

Saturday, we went back to the carnival for more rides. P was exhausted by the time we were done. And, because we had the all-you-can-ride pass, we went back for another day of rides on Sunday. We are carnivaled out.

It goes without saying that it's nice to spend time with friends. P is also easier to entertain in a larger group. The wait for fireworks would have been INTERMINABLE without other kids. And, the next day, the two friends were asking after each other, so I'm hoping we can do more events in the future as a threesome. That would be a lot of fun.

Now, it's off to school. And, I am going to venture into the world of Fly Lady to see if that will help me get our house organized. We will see.

Oh, the other thing I started? A budget. Or, rather, a tracking of actual spending. We'll see if it helps. It can't hurt. So far, one week into July, we're slightly overspent. We've only got $15 for today. Mr. mouse will use $5 of that for his train rides, so that leaves $10 for the day. As long as we all eat in for all three meals, we'll be fine. And, that will leave us close to neutral for tomorrow. Yeah!


Cheers!
mouse

Week 1 of 4 with P

Dear Friends and Family,

We're into the heart of summer vacation, the four weeks P has half-day camp. And, I have been enjoying a mix of frenetic activity in the morning with kid time in the afternoon.

Monday, we started on a silhouette project that went awry in March. We also spent some time completing our Brazil mystery kit.

Tuesday, we went to the park for a picnic and play time. We finished the silhouette when we got home.

Wednesday, we went out to the suburbs for lunch, mail and a car wash. We played school when we got home and spent most of our time talking about the human body and how the lungs work.

Thursday, we made mummies and started on a game of Life. Mr. mouse came home early so P went for a bike ride.

It has been a lot of fun. But, I'll admit it, part of the reason it is fun is that I know I only have a four week window of this and I still have time to myself in the morning and most evenings. If this was my full-time job, I'd go crazy.

It might be time for a new Top 3.

I've actually managed to wrangle my to do list down to five items for next week:

• catch up on emails
• download photos from Lego event
• return books to P's friend
• schedule eyebrow appointment
• go through June art work

I don't think I've had a to do list that is this short in a LONG while. So, while it's not empty, I'll consider it at a happy spot.

Looking on my happiness map, I think I'll tackle only two.

Organizing House/Clean House: There are pockets of happiness. I'd like to extend that. My thing on this is that sometimes Mr. mouse helps. And, when he helps, he helps a lot. Sometimes I feel like I live with a Messie and could be featured on the next episode of Hoarders.

Time with Family: I'm doing this by default, since I have time with P for the next three weeks.


Cheers!
mouse

Motivated to Tackle the Basement

Dear Friends and Family,

I spent some time going through the basement yesterday. I'm not sure you can call it progress, but I guess it is. By definition, isn't anything progress, since sooner or later you would have had to do it anyway? It might not be efficient. It might not be a lot of progress, but by definition, isn't it progress? I hope it is.

I think most of the stuff that got water logged is now out of the basement. And, the area is drying up. We'll keep an eye on it for the week and see if any more water comes in this week when it rains.

I spent about an hour going through a bin of papers from our first house. I decided to keep about an inch of paper split, some from when we bought the place, some from work we did on the place, and some from when we sold the place. But, I did decide to recycle/shred about 6 inches of paper we don't need.

I think that's the key to making progress, moving things around. Honestly, it was tough to move things when the water came in. But, we didn't have a choice, we needed to clear the space to see what was going on. And, by moving it from its petrified pile, it became easier to tackle it and go through it and decide what to keep and what to toss. So, even if the immediate stuff is taken care of, I think I'll continue to work on the basement. Might as well keep momentum going.

It's got to be done sooner or later.


Cheers!
mouse

06.16.14: Water, Again

Dear Friends and Family,

The mouse pad has been one water intrusion nightmare after another. There's the deck door, the windows, the roof, the flashing, and now the basement. Saturday evening, Mr. mouse found water in the basement carpet so we spent all of yesterday going through the basement and throwing out things that got seeped in water.

To be honest, there's a piece of me that found it therapeutic. After all, it was much easier to convince Mr. mouse to let go of things that were water logged than it would have been if they were fine. There's still a ton of stuff to go through in the basement. I guess that'll be part of my week this week.

Saturday, we went to see a Lego convention. Then we went over to a friend's house for dinner. We sat in the park watching P run around and play frisbee with Mr. mouse. She had a big day, riding her bike, doing sheets, going to the convention, playing in the park. P slept well Saturday night.

Speaking of Saturday, when we went for the bike ride, there were spells when Mr. mouse let go of the balance bar and P was riding all by herself! Wow, our little girl is growing up so fast. On Sunday, she made a Lego fire truck and ambulance all by herself! Definitely growing up.

Now, it's Monday. And, it's my last "long" day for four weeks. Next week, P and I have off. And, the following week she starts a new camp that only runs half days. While my productivity will plummet, I'm looking forward to it. It's my time with P. It'll be great.


Cheers!
mouse

06.13.14: OMG, Has It Really Been Over a Week?

Dear Friends and Family,

No wonder I've been feeling disjointed and in a funk, it's been over a week since I posted.

Now, part of that time was traveling. We left Wednesday afternoon for a hopscotch trip that included reunion and the auto race. Both were fun and both reminded me that the here and now of the physical is so unimportant when compared to the joy of spending time with people you care about.

I promptly came home and did some major decluttering. But, still, the house is a mess. That's the other thing that's been in a funk, my sleep and my habit strategy. Instead of doing what I do best, I've been doing what's easy namely wandering around aimlessly while I stared at the clock ticking by.

So, I'm taking today to reclaim my life. I finished invoicing and expense reports and taxes this morning. And, now, I'm tackling my apparently long forgotten blog. I caught up on Facebook. And, I'm taking care of my nails next.

No more funk. No more disjointed mouse. I'm looking forward to the day.


Cheers!
mouse

Fun, Sunny Days with P

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, we had a fabulous day.

We ate breakfast, brushed P's teeth, and made a list for the day. Then, we killed four birds with one stone. I printed out sheets from a website I found that helps kids learn cursive. Yes, P wants to learn cursive. P used those sheets to write her thank you notes. And, I fixed one of P's bracelets while she did that. So, we did our sheets, wrote our cards, tried out cursive and fixed a bracelet all at once. Score!

Then, we played Catan Junior. And, we got ready for lunch. We went out for lunch. We picked up mail. We got gas. We got stuck in traffic. That was the low light of our day. We decided to go straight to the park instead of coming home. And, it was sunny, but shaded. There was a breeze. We had the park to ourselves. It was perfect. We played for about 45 minutes before we headed over to swim classes. P wanted to go in the toddler swing so we went in the toddler swing for old times sake. We had so much fun. It was a perfect antidote to the traffic.

We went to swim. And, P decided to nap on the way home. So, I carried her upstairs to her room when we got home. I went through mail while P slept. When P woke up, we did a science experiment and ate dinner. She did one more thank you card before breaking open her chess set with Mr. mouse. Then, I fell asleep while she did bath with Mr. mouse.

We got everything on our list from the morning done! Hooray Team mouse and P!


Cheers!
mouse

06.03.14: Summer Vacation, week 1

Dear Friends and Family,

I'll be honest, the weekend was a blur of little kid faces as I dedicated most of my time to finishing out P's photo book for school. I sent out my big deliverable at 3 AM on Sunday morning and crashed in P's bed.

But, there are a couple of things I remember from the weekend. P had her first dance recital and she did fantastic in it. I'm not sure I would have been able to carry that off. In fact, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to carry that off - dancing on a stage in front of all of those people. I'm glad we're raising P different from how we were raised, in that regard.

Sunday, we went to the park to take spring photos. P wore a white dress my mom bought her for Easter last year. She kinda fits it now, but it's still loose on her.

And, Monday, P and I had a great day at home. We:

1. ate breakfast
2. brushed teeth
3. finished painting Starry Night
4. changed P into her Elsa dress
5. P did two sheets while I showered
6. ate lunch
7. changed a lightbulb
8. played
9. taught P Catan Junior
10. made two cards for our friends
11. took photos in a pretend photo booth
12. ate dinner

I'm not sure we'll be that productive today. In fact, I'm pretty sure we won't be. We have swim class at four and we need to get mail and (maybe) shoes.

Still, I really enjoyed the day with P. I'm glad I didn't have old work to contend with.


Cheers!
mouse

Summer Vacation, Starting Off on the Off Foot

Dear Friends and Family,

I feel like I need to take a moment and re-group. My emails have piled up. I'm forgetting things. I'm losing things. This isn't good. And, I think I know why I'm a hot mess.

Well, it's two things. I need to finish off a photo book for school that is due in two weeks and I'm going to effectively lose next week because P doesn't start camp until the following week. So, I've been using my mornings and days to work on the book instead of keeping up with my life.

And, the second is a little more subtle. Due to poor scheduling, we haven't had house cleaning in close to a month and the house is a mess. I think it plays with the mind when the bathroom is not as clean as it usually is, when the floor is not as clean as it usually is, when the house isn't dirty, but it is not as clean as it usually is. I think my mind starts to degrade.

Anyway, I'm going to present P with a list for today of five things I want to do. I'll let her add five things she wants to do and we'll go from there and hopefully enjoy our day in spite of my feelings of being off. And, tomorrow, I'll try and finish the photo book and find the things I've lost and catch up in general.


Cheers!
mouse

Last Day of School

Dear P,

It's your last day of junior kindergarten today. If you make it through the day, you will have gone to school every day that school was open this past year. They used to give out perfect attendance awards when I was a kid, but I don't think they do that anymore.

P, I am so proud of you! You're a big kid now who does big kid things. You text Daddy on the phone. You try to clean up your own spills. You notice things and quickly extrapolate and interpolate other things that should fit the pattern of the world you see.

And, while I'm not sure if you've learned a lot in the traditional sense, I think you have learned a ton in school this past year and I'm so impressed. You're less shy. You're more independent in your play. You're better at solving problems and taking turns. And, you're better at controlling your emotions and letting us know when you're upset.

To be honest, in a way, I think that's more important than if you learned your letters (which you already know) or learned your numbers (which you already know) or learned how to use scissors (which you already know). Those are all important skills, but they're more discrete, they can be taught anytime.

Learning life's lessons, that seems like it should be on the critical path.

I'm looking forward to summer vacation with you. You've never had summer vacation. And, it'll be your longest break ever. We'll have lots of fun doing things only we can do together. I'm glad I switched my work to have this time with you. Hopefully you agree.

Well, I need to get ready now since we're headed to school together for one last drop off.


Love,
your Mommy

05.27.14: 39 Thank You Cards Later...

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday, and P is back in school for three more days. Where did the year go?

Saturday, P and I got haircuts. Then, we headed over to a friend's house for a play date. Fortunately, the weather was nice and we spent a couple of hours in the park. Then, we went back to their house for time on the deck. Our friend has a gorgeous place, and I was a little intimidated the first time I went over. But, as I've gotten to know her better, I realize she has the kindest of hearts, and I love her for it. The play date extended into dinner and by the time we got home it was time for bed.

Sunday, we went to a baseball game. It was blistering hot out and P spent most of her time away from the seats. She got her face painted. She got a balloon animal. She ate ice cream. She ran the bases. She was entertained. And, I got to watch the game.

Monday, we tackled the rest of the thank you cards. P's gotten a nasty habit of procrastinating. She'll put up a fight before we get down to the business of doing work. It's a royal pain in the neck, dealing with it. This time it was close to two hours for two cards.

Mr. mouse and I didn't want to deal with any more procrastination so we plowed through all 14 cards for P's teachers. Add in the 25 cards P did for her birthday, and we've painfully worked our way through 39 cards in a little over two weeks.

The next time we get this procrastination thing going, it's not going to be pretty. I've lost all patience for it and so has Mr. mouse. There's not enough hours in the day as it is. We don't need to be blowing up free time we have watching P roll on the floor doing anything but what we ask of her. It's not going to be pretty, but the alternative is even less attractive.

Well, it's Tuesday and I've got a meeting at 10:30 so I need to get started on the day.


Cheers!
mouse

One Week of School

Dear Friends and Family,

We have one week of school left before summer vacation. It will be P's longest vacation ever. She has a little over thirteen weeks off during the summer which is more than she's ever had in her entire life. Yep, she started at her first school when she was twelve weeks old, so she's never has a stretch of thirteen weeks off.

I'm excited. I hope she's excited.

That means, until she starts camp in June, yesterday was my last "normal" day at home. Today, I have someone coming over to help me get my house in order. Monday is Memorial Day. Tuesday, my organizer is coming again. Wednesday, I'm at school for lunch. And, Thursday, I'm at school for a field trip. Friday, P and I have a quiet day planned to kick off summer vacation.

Perhaps we'll ride her bike. Or, we'll do a science experiment. Or, we'll work on her Brazil kit mystery. It'll be so much fun. I'm excited!


Cheers!
mouse

Big Nows

Dear Friends and Family,

I've been tackling some "big nows" from the to do lists. "Big nows" are different from most nows in that they take an inordinate amount of time. So, purchasing teacher presents might be an errand I can squeeze into some part of my day, but going for the 40,000 mile check up on the car takes a full day. It feels good to get some of the "big nows" off of the list. I must be making progress.

Today, I've got a lot to do because yesterday I spent the whole day at the dentist getting a filling redone. I'm a little annoyed because if it had been done correctly last February I wouldn't have lost a day to getting it redone. It might be time to find a local dentist. Either way, I need to have an action packed morning to get this week back on trajectory.


Cheers!
mouse

05.19.14: Big Kid Bike

Dear Friends and Family,

Saturday, outside of a quick eyebrow appointment and interminable thank you cards, we had the day free and to ourselves. It was wonderful. I think I'm going to make a quick rule of thumb. I am no longer going to schedule both days of a weekend, if I can help it. That means if we have something going on on Saturday, then I'm going to try and block out Sunday. And, vice versa, if we have something going on on Sunday, then I'm going to try and block out Saturday. It's ambitious, but I'm going to try anyway.

What did we do with our free day? We went bike shopping and P got her big kid bike with pedals. She's outgrown her balance bike so we may be taking it down to her nephew on our next trip down there. P's been busy getting her bike ready for a bike parade that she read about in Highlights magazine. We got a bell. Mr. mouse has been looking at streamers. She's been building a basket from a shoe box. And, there's more. I need to look at the article to understand.

Sunday, we had church followed by a lightening quick lunch. Then, P had back to back birthday parties that ended in her bawling in the street and having an accident when the pinata freaked her out, again. She passed out on the way home and slept until 8:30. I hope she's finally getting over her cold. We're trying to narrow down the reasons she's been impossible lately. It may be being sick. It may be allergies. It may be getting bored. It may be anticipating the changes that come with summer vacation. It may be being five.

Welcome to parenting.


Cheers!
mouse

Mom of the Year

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm ashamed to admit it, but last night I lost it and yelled at P. She was tired and fidgeting and dwaddling and bossy, but I should have been a bigger person. I was anxious to get her asleep so that she would be less tired, fidgety, dwaddly today. And, I was anxious because my new work has been trying. And, as a result, I lost it.

We were in the bathroom, and P was doing her usual thing wasting time, and I started jumping up and down and yelling at the top of my lungs. It wasn't my finest moment.

I apologized. I held her. I told her stories. She was asleep in less than 15 minutes.

I still feel bad. But, I've promised myself I will have better control going forward.


Cheers!
mouse

40k Mileage Work

Dear Friends and Family,

I've got to go in five minutes to get ready for the day. I've got a 7 am appointment at the auto dealer to get the car looked at. I'm bringing my laptop, but I'm not optimistic I'll be able to get online while I'm there. Hopefully I can get online and be productive. If not, I'll be stuck between watching bad TV or heading out in forty degree rain to run errands by mass transportation. Wow, do those two options sound not appealing.

Welcome to my new world.


Cheers!
mouse

Wednesday is Still Hump Day

Dear Friends and Family,

You'd think now that I'm working from home the days might be different. But, they're not. Wednesday is still the middle of the week. Sunday, I organize my week and set expectations. Monday, I try and get as much done as humanly possible to set myself up for the week. Tuesday, I sometimes go easy on myself after a busy Monday. Wednesday, I try to get more progress. Wednesday seems to be the day that defines how much progress I make in a week. Thursday, I finish off things I started earlier in the week. Friday, I intentionally leave blank.

This week, I wanted to do two things:

1. recover from the party: I felt like it's been two months of "one thing after another" and I wanted to use this week to get the house back in order. There's things that need to be put back. There's things that need to be returned. There's things everywhere.
2. get contol of the nows: In addition to the house being a disaster, my to do list became a disaster. So, I wanted to use this week to get that under control as well.

Let's see what I can accomplish today since Wednesday is hump day after all.


Cheers!
mouse

Transitioning to Normal

Dear Friends and Family,

There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Today, my mom heads home. We have swim class. We have P's five year old appointment. P has a cold she's working her way through. One of her friends is coming over because her babysitter is unavailable and her parents are traveling. Doesn't sound normal at all, does it?

But, it's a start. And, most importantly, between now and two o'clock (when I leave for pick-up) I can begin to transition back to normal daytime activities. It's a start.


Cheers!
mouse

05.12.14: Birthday Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

We woke Saturday morning to a birthday double header. P's friend's party was in the morning and P's party was in the afternoon. All the parents dutifully got their kids ready for back to back birthday parties and the parents and kids were troopers in getting through the day. Fortunately, the weather was great, so we had a little after-party in the park and an even longer after-party on our deck.

I enjoyed P's party thoroughly. The only tough part was trying to find time to spend with all of the disparate groups of people. There's P's school friends, her old school friends, one friend whose parents work with Mr. mouse, one friend whose parents I used to work with, one friend whose parents I used to work with but not at the same time as the other friend I used to work with, and the list goes on. If they all knew each other then they can all talk together. But, since they don't, I felt a little like a person at a wedding trying to get a few words in with each group. Still, I enjoyed it and I'm hoping the kids and the parents did as well.

Sunday was a quieter day. We went to church and the park. We opened presents and let P play with her crutches. We went out for dinner. We forgot to do her hand prints, foot prints, and height chart. I guess we'll have to do those this week.

And, now, we have a five-year-old in the house. She's a big kid now. And, I've got a semi-normal week ahead of me. Actually, it's not really a semi-normal week. It's actually quite packed. But, it's more normal than any week has been since mid-March so I'll take it. Time to try and catch up from the mountain of stuff I've been putting off.


Cheers!
mouse

Five Years Old Today

Dear P,

P, you're turning five today. In five years you'll be turning ten. Then, in ten years you'll be twenty. I know that seems like forever away when you're five, but from my end it looks like it could happen in the blink of an eye.

I still remember falling in love with you that night holding you in the hospital. I remember how small you were and how trusting you were and how much help you needed. And, while you're so much bigger now, you're still so trusting and you still need help, although it's a different kind of help now.

I can't help feeling like we're closing the chapter on "little kid" and opening a new chapter on "big kid." The next five years will hold lots of fun, but I can't imagine how they could possible compare to the first five. Actually, you know I say that, but in reality, each time I thought that, I've been wrong. Each time, it does compare, in a different way, and in hindsight I wouldn't change it for the world. But, at the cusp, I always wonder how it could possibly compare.

I'm looking forward to the summer together. I'm looking forward to time spent on the beach building sand castles. I'm looking forward to hearing about camp. I'm looking forward to having time together to work on academics. I'm looking forward to play dates. I'm looking forward to dinner together on the roof. I'm looking forward to cuddling together with you on Friday nights. There's so much we can do together. And, then, before you know it, it'll be September and you'll be off to kindergarten.

I hope you like kindergarten as much as you've liked junior kindergarten. Unlike a lot of moms from your old school, I'm not as scared. We went through the big transition last year together - new school, new teachers, new schedule, and most importantly, new friends. And, fortunately for us, we had a great year.

P, I feel like I need to take a moment to tell you how proud I am of you. You're gentle and trusting. You're generous and kind. You're open and honest. You listen. You learn. You're adventurous. You're happy. You're smart. You're fast. You're strong. You're everything I could have ever asked for in a kid. And, I am honored to be your mom.


Love,
your mom

PS: If I seem a little sad today, it's only because I sometimes wish we could slow down time and enjoy each moment for just a little longer.

Understanding Inefficiencies

Dear Friends and Family,

I never understood how productive an office environment is compared to a non-office environment until now. In my former life, I could have 8 one hour meetings, 4 thirty minute meetings, 4 hallway conversations, and maybe a few good email threads worked into the mix. That means, in any given day, I got about 20 things done. Now, on a good day, I get three to five things ticked off my list.

What happened? Well, a lot of things happened. First, my day shrunk. My effective day starts at 9 am and ends at 2 pm because outside of that I am spending time with P. While I like spending time with P, it's not realistic to think I will be productive in working through other tasks when I'm with her. Otherwise, I'm not really spending time with her. I'd be doing my thing and she'd be watching me do my thing.

So, five hours instead of ten. That alone will take twenty items down to ten.

On top of that, there's the travel element. I know it takes two minutes to walk to a particular conference room. I don't leave until two minutes before the meeting, I walk, I show up right on time, zero wasted time. Now, I might be headed to a place 20-30 minutes from where I am. Since I'm not sure of the time, a 30 minute trip can take mean leaving 35-40 minutes before hand. Add one or two travel times into the mix and my effective day goes from five hours down to four hours, or eight tasks.

Then, add in dead time because I'm no longer sure of how long each task will take. An oil change can take 30 minutes or it can take an hour like it did last time. A doctor's appointment can take 30 minutes or it can take two hours like it did last time. Dead time is a productive black hole. Add in 30 minutes of dead time per trip and four hours is down to 2.5 hours easy. Now, it's easy to see how I get three to five things done a day instead of 20. Welcome to my new level of productivity.

My three tasks for today? Get mail. Pick up party supplies. Wrap presents. I had to wait until now, 10:30, to get mail, to avoid traffic. I'll get the mail by 11:30, party supplies by 12. I'll be home by 1, wrap presents by 1:30, and then I'm off get P by 2. See, three tasks. I'll squeeze in gas to get it up to 4.


Cheers!
mouse

Gearing Up for the Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Thursday. P's party is on Saturday. And, we've still got a ton left to do which is not typical of us. Normally, we have this stuff buttoned away weeks in advance. But, this year, somehow April slipped away from us and we're now in scramble mode.

Wait. I know what happened to us. P had spring break. I lost my job. I quit my job. I spent a week catching up from two weeks of break and two weeks of drama. My parents came over. And, now it's two days before the party.

I also know what else happened. Mr. mouse and I do not do well in planning events together. We get mired in administrivia like what exactly goes in the favor bags. Will it be m&m's or dark chocolate m&m's? Really. Brown chocolate frosting or black butter cream frosting took WAY longer than I thought it should since P made clear she wanted a chocolate cake. How did black butter cream even make it onto the ballot? It must be because it looks better with the design P wants. Still. She wants a chocolate cake so anything that is not chocolate shouldn't even be part of the discussion. Now, if we had a choice of black chocolate or brown chocolate, I'd choose black chocolate. But, I digress.

We're two days away which means we need to start getting to done on some of this stuff. All I know is that between now and Saturday it will all get done and we will be able to enjoy the party.


Cheers!
mouse

Little Fish, Hopefully

Dear Friends and Family,

P had her first swim class yesterday. And, it went swimmingly.

She went in the pool. She did all the things the teacher asked of her. She enjoyed it. I have to say, it makes me a little giddy. I grew up loving the water and to see P in the water... well, I couldn't be happier.


Cheers!
mouse

Day Full of Opportunity

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday. It's sunny out. P is on her way to school with Mr. mouse. And, I've got the day to myself. It feels like a day full of opportunity.

No time like the present to dive into the day.


Cheers!
mouse

05.05.14: Reunion Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

Because there's not enough going on in my life, I had reunion this past weekend.

Friday morning I had breakfast with a friend. Then, I had lunch with a friend. Then, I was ready to skip the evening events. But, my friend from lunch convinced me to go. And, I'm so glad I did. A lot of my friends from school were out for dinner and at a bar afterwards. It was SO good to catch up with them.

Saturday, I went to a couple of classes, heard the dean's update, took the class picture, and went to the reunion picnic. P came out for the picnic and got the fanciest face painting possible. We actually let her sleep in it for one night, but it had to come off for school today. I skipped the dinner on Saturday night and spent the time with P and Mr. mouse. I think I was reunioned out after Saturday.

Sunday, I went to church. Then, we went to the museum for the day. P ran into a school friend at the museum. We spent the evening watching ants eat ant bait. It was fascinating in a gross kind of way.

And, now, we're in for the big push. This weekend is P's birthday. This means we have to finish preparing everything and order the rest of P's presents. I wish we were a little more organized. I blame old work and grandpals day and reunion and over-scheduling. I'm still glad we went to reunion.


Cheers!
mouse

Overscheduled

Dear Friends and Family,

I just need to get through today and some sanity will return to my life.

Yesterday, I dashed out the door with P and Mr. mouse. We went on our field trip which was awesome. I stayed for lunch duty. I dashed back for lunch with a friend. I dashed back for pick up. We had dance.

Today, I have breakfast with another friend. Then, I need to dash to pick up mail. Then, I need to dash to lunch with a third friend. Then, I need to dash to school for a sing along special in the classroom. Then, I can relax for the afternoon. Except, I need to figure out when to order P's birthday present. Then, I can relax for the afternoon.

Next week and the week after will be hectic with P's birthday and my mom visiting. Then, then, I think I can get a break. Then, I can really relax.

I need to learn to not over schedule. Then, I can really relax. Except I like to see my friends and they seem to come in waves.


Cheers!
mouse

Field Trip!

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm going on a field trip! I'm going on a field trip! I'm going on a field trip!

Can you tell I'm excited? It's the main thing I was upset about with leaving old work. I thought I had missed all of the field trips. But, fortunately for me, there's two more and I'm going on one today.

Sometimes, you need to focus on the positives like today's field trip and not on the negatives like the missed field trips.

I'm going on a field trip! I'm going on a field trip! I'm going on a field trip!


Cheers!
mouse

Clutter Diet, Mouse-Sized Bites

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Wednesday and I'm feeling good.

I've been working on a project, outside of my blog, to work on the clutter in the house. Whenever I get the urge, but at least once a week, I pick five items to evict from our house. Five isn't intimidating. Five isn't too much of a commitment. Five doesn't feel like I'm parting with anything too dear. And, five is easy to count once the photos start adding up.

I've compiled 22 pictures so far which means 110 items have made their way out of our house. You know the funny thing? I don't miss any of it. You know the sad thing? I don't see much of a difference in the house yet. I'll continue since it certainly can't be hurting and for now it's amusing.

I wonder what the final tally would be. I wouldn't be surprised if it's in the thousands. Yes, I wouldn't be surprised if it's in the thousands. I'm hoping by then I'll see more of a difference in the house.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 15: Pulse Check

Dear Friends and Family,

Fifteen days - that's roughly three weeks. How am I doing? Surprisingly, I think I'm doing okay.

I don't have much emotion either positive or negative towards old work. I feel like I still have my friends through Facebook. I don't know a lot about what has happened to my old role or the actual work I was working on. But, perhaps that's what it feels like to walk away from your last full-time job under complicated circumstances. Perhaps it'll take awhile for me to process all of it and definitively feel one way or another about it. For now, I don't feel anything.

How do I feel about my days? Well, I'm wrapped up in preparing for P's birthday party. I have a new habit strategy that I'm still trying out. I'm ecstatic that I get to go on a field trip with P this Thursday. And, while I don't feel delight with my new routine, I do appreciate trying to build one.

So, overall, I'd say I don't feel any big emotion. I think I'll turn the page and close out this transition. Life in general, ready or not, here I come.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 14 and the Weekend: Fortunately I Didn't Deck my Dad

Dear Friends and Family,

Friday wasn't the best start to the weekend. We had a peaceful morning. My parents left to visit P's school. I had some time to myself. Where it hit a speed bump was when I went to pick up P after school. Out of nowhere my Dad is full of parenting advice. I'm sorry, getting parenting advice from my Dad is like getting anger management advice from a psychopath.

Well. I almost decked him. He just couldn't shut his pie hole. Really.

We made it through the evening in one piece. And, I dropped them off at the airport on Saturday morning. And, the trip goes down in history as a great trip, one everyone enjoyed, a thorough success - because that's how we roll. P loved it and my parents loved it. And, that's all that matters since they visited to see her and see her school.

Saturday. We went to see School House Rock, just the three of us. We really enjoyed it. Then, P had a play date with two friends and I had time with the two moms. The moms had a great time. P had some rough spots with one friend. I hate to say it, but I don't think she likes her friend as much as I like her friend's mom. We may need to figure out how to navigate that one.

Sunday. We went to church. We went to a baseball game. We went to a birthday party. I had fun. P had fun. Mr. mouse had fun. P got her face painted. I got my face painted. She got two balloon friends - one alien named Ali and one Princess Sofia. She was ready to pop Ali when she got home because Sofia was done with Ali. I'm glad she's not attached to her balloon friends, but we saved Ali from the scissors for one more day.

And, now, it's Monday and I've got the day to myself. Unfortunately, it's raining all week which is a bummer. But, that's okay.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 13: Not Bad

Dear Friends and Family,

We made it through the day yesterday. Or, rather, I made it through the day yesterday. Breakfast was a tedious affair where my dad could not resist talking ad nauseum about whatever was on his mind. I think somewhere in there I agreed to become an accountant. I'm not sure.

But, after that, he read and my day improved markedly. I think I love my dad. It's just that we're nothing alike so it's an abstract love. I hope P's feelings for me are different from my feelings for my dad. Is that unfair? To hope that you kid loves you differently than you love your parents?

My mom got to watch P's dance class. She got to play with P all afternoon. She read to P before P fell asleep. She had a fabulous day.

I got somewhat caught up on my personal emails. It was a good day.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 12: How We Roll

Dear Friends and Family,

I'll be the first to admit it, my family brings out the worst in me.

Yesterday, my mom went on a church thing. Church is her number one priority. I get it. P and her cousin are somewhere in the top 5. My sister and I know we're somewhere on the list after our kids before chopped liver. Where on the list is always open to interpretation.

Back to yesterday. The weather for Thursday was looking questionable and flights were looking more questionable. And, I knew P would be crushed if her grandparents didn't make it out for school on Friday. So, I became antsy about my parents coming out. And, my mom is on a church thing and, of course, the cell phone reception is atrocious. So, I'm Little Miss Anxious all day about getting them out here. They're Mr. and Little Miss Scramble to make a flight last night, and, of course, a runway is closed and the flight was delayed until 10:30. And, my dad decides it's too late for dinner so he skips dinner which means he'll be a trial and a quarter this morning.

On top of all of this, my dad sprained his leg over the weekend so he can't really walk. Of course. Which means I'll be driving them to school and back on Friday. And, I'll be driving to the airport on Saturday morning. Of course.

And, if that wasn't enough, my dad needs special medicine that needs to be boiled in a non-metal container which they did not bring. Of course. I'm not sure if they forgot or if they assumed we had one. So, today, we're going on a scavenger hunt for such said vessel. Whoopee.

Like I said, my family brings out the worst in me. Wish me luck today.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 11: Time for a New Budget

Dear Friends and Family,

Another month, another credit card bill that blows my mind. We need a better system so I think for a month I may put us on a budget. That's usually enough to help us reset our spending habits. I may. I still need to think about it.

Yesterday, we had our year end conference with P's teacher. She's doing great academically. We'll continue to work on confidence and speaking out loud and flexibility. All in all, I'm happy so far with the choice we made for her school. She hasn't learned a lot new but that's typical of her trend. She has matured a ton emotionally and socially. I'm not sure if that's because she's almost five or it's because of school or some combination. Since we can't press the rewind button and repeat the year under a different set of circumstances, we'll have to assume it is some combination of the two and that school did play a role in it.

Yesterday, I also heard that the person who most probably picked my job for elimination is leaving old work. That would rankle me except in the same text message I also heard that a former colleague got promoted which only reinforces that it was time to be done with old work and move on to new work. I need to continue to put it all behind me.

Today, I've got time set aside to work on marketing which will be good. I've stayed on top of my lists so far. We'll see if I can continue to do that with my parents in town tomorrow.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 10: First Day Off and a New Top Three

Dear Friends and Family,

It didn't feel real. But, yesterday was my first day off.

I got through a lot of things that had piled up over the two week drama of leaving work. I paid my insurance bill. I took care of some licensing paperwork. I did an hour of billable work. I did payroll. It felt good.

I ate breakfast and lunch at home. I ate breakfast on the roof deck. I ate lunch in front of the TV. It felt good.

I made some progress on keeping the house in one piece. I worked on the photo album from spring break. It felt good.

Everything felt good. But, in the long run, I think I will need more than this to feel fulfilled. Tomorrow, I'm going to tackle marketing material. That'll feel good.

Perhaps what I need is a top three. Seems appropriate.

I've been working under the premise that getting all of my to dos done and the house in order will make me happy. Now, I'm wondering if that's enough. Or, if I need more than that. I think I need more than that.

So, let's assume that a house that is in order will make me happy because I know that a house that's not in order does make me unhappy. Perhaps I start from there. I know that once it's in order it's usually not difficult to maintain. So, maybe for now, I'll continue to work against getting the house in order.

The to do list. I guess I do get a sense of peace from having a completed to do list. Maybe I'll give this another week.

Which brings us to number three on the list. I guess this has to be new work. I need to focus on it even if it's hard and even if I'm a little scared. I know that this will make me feel fulfilled.

My list:

1. new work
2. the mouse pad
3. the to do list

Okay. That feels good.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 9 and the Weekend: Day with P and a Last Email Check

Dear Friends and Family,

I hardly remember Friday. I woke up and checked email one last time. Well, I checked two last times or it might have been three. Mostly, I was compulsively checking to see if anyone else had written a personal note. But, I didn't see any. So, I stopped checking and reminded myself that I need to be done.

P slept in until close to 10 AM. Then, we met up with one of her friends and went out for a play date. P was so excited about her new car seat. Her friend's mom and I are close friends so we spent the time chatting while the girls were playing. And, the play date turned into dinner. And, dinner turned into an evening play date where the four of us (the dads joined us) were able to chat while the girls were playing. It was good to be able to focus on stuff outside of my last day at work.

Saturday, we met up with friends for brunch. Then, we headed to the museum for another play date. The kids enjoyed the dinosaurs while the adults wondered what the museum would be like if it were run by Disney. After all, most people don't really get a lot out of seeing a fossilized leaf while a lot of people did get a lot of seeing an underwater simulation of life on Earth 4 billion years ago.

Sunday, we went to church. I got one of the last seats in the main mass. I ended up sitting next to a very charming man who knew a ton about the church and had a great singing voice. I do feel blessed that I found the church I found during our search for a school for P.

While I was at church, Mr. mouse was busy setting up the Easter egg hunt. This year, we opted to do an indoor hunt. Mr. mouse put out P's Easter basket. Then, he hid 23 eggs throughout the house. He brought one egg with a bucket, a poem filled with clues, and a set of bunny ears to the car. P was so excited on the way home after reading her poem. And, she shrieked as she ran through the house finding her eggs. It was worth the logistics of setting up a hunt. Perhaps we'll let the leprechauns visit our house next year.

And, now it's Monday. I can't say I feel a lot of emotion about leaving old work. It is what it is. I'm not upset. I'm not particularly happy. I'm not relieved. I'm not sure what I am. Perhaps I'll just need to let it sink in a little more.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 8: Walking Out

Dear Friends and Family,

It's truly over.

I turned in all my gear. I had all of my meetings. I had a going away lunch with my department. I spent extra time with my team in the afternoon. I walked through the halls and said bye to the people I saw. I walked out the parking garage. I left.

It's truly over unless something comes out of left field that I'm not expecting.

I think I know where the anxiety stems from now. When I left old old work I got walked. I expected to get walked on Monday and I was braced for it, but then they asked me to work my two weeks so after some cognitive dissonance I figured I was there for two more weeks. Then, Tuesday, I expected to be working, and HR changed their mind, and I got walked - and I wasn't emotionally braced for it.

So, I think, subconsciously, I was braced for anything for the time I had left at old work. I wasn't sure what could come out of nowhere to upset whatever expectations I had. But, in the end, nothing came out of nowhere. I left yesterday with no incidents.

The drive home was longer than I've had recently since I left closer to normal rush hour time. I met Mr. mouse and P for dinner. We came home. I read a book to P. I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up and went to bed. And, I woke up this morning feeling better.

A lot of it still doesn't feel real. And, I'm not quite ready to jump into things. But, I'm feeling less anxious than yesterday. Today, I've got time with P and her friend and her friend's mom who is a friend of mine. Tomorrow, I've got time with P and another friend and his mom who is also a friend of mine. Sunday, I have brunch with a close friend. I think all of that will help me feel more real. And, then, next week is next week and it will be better than this week.

I guess it's true. Time does heal all wounds even the ones that feel like they've already scabbed over and are beginning to itch.


Cheers!
mouse

Days 6 and 7: On Cruise Control

Dear Friends and Family,

It's come down to today.

I've got my corporate credit card and discount card in an envelope. I have a blackberry and a laptop that I turned off yesterday evening for the very last time. I have a piece of paper with my schedule on it for today. I have lunch at 12:30 and I'm free to leave anytime after that.

I'll pick up mail and get gas. I have tomorrow off with P.

I'm okay because I don't have an option to not be okay. I know inside there's some fairly high level of anxiety associated with this. I don't know why, but since I don't know what to do about it, I'm just going with it. I'm assuming tonight it'll all be behind me. Fingers crossed.

I have tomorrow off with P.

Next week starts a whole new adventure. As always there'll be no such thing as a routine that first week. My parents are coming in on Wednesday night and staying through Saturday morning, I think. So, I'll need to work around their schedule. I think the following week will be a routine week. I think. I hope.

Then, we'll go from there.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 5: Coffee with a Friend

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night, I went out for coffee with a friend. She also works at old work. And, after talking with her, it confirmed my realization I will not miss old work.

The only thing I regret in this whole thing is not quitting earlier. I wish I had just walked out the door in August. I shouldn't have stayed.

Mr. mouse told me that I had doubts last August, but I looked at my entries from August. I don't see doubt.

I shouldn't have stayed. In hindsight, I should have just left in August.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 4 and the Weekend: Day with P and a Small Lightbulb

Dear Friends and Family,

Friday, P had the day off from school.

We had a free pass to a museum and decided to invite P's close friend and her mom to join us at the museum. Since it cost us $0.00 to go to the museum, the pressure wasn't on for the kids to get anything out of it. They walked through one exhibit, ate lunch, watched the fish, walked through a Calder exhibit, read a book, and then left. And, that was fine with the other mom and me.

We bought souvenirs in the gift shop and went to the park across the street for some monkeying around. P and I took the bus home afterwards, stopping at our favorite ice cream shop to enjoy a little treat.

We spent the afternoon at home making necklaces and playing fairy. I have to say, I enjoyed the day. Minus a sleepy moment mid-afternoon, it was a relaxing time with P. I'll miss these moments when she's older. I'm glad I get to enjoy them now.

Saturday, we had a haircut which both P and I desperately needed. You can see her eyes now.

And, Sunday, I had the most interesting thought while at church. Several years ago, an analyst on my team had a dream. She dreamt I was Jesus Christ. And, yesterday, in church, I realized that was true. We all have a little Jesus in us. And, we all face situations we'd rather not face and deal with things we'd rather not deal with and some of it seems so senseless. But, in the end, we have to have faith that it'll will all make sense in the future and that the momentary pain is worth it.

Granted, Jesus was crucified and resurrected. And, this Friday is merely my last day at old work and this weekend is my chance to start a new chapter in new work. But, remember, I've only got a little Jesus in me. So, my life won't be as dramatic.

Still, I've got faith that come next week, the craziness of the past week and this week will all be behind me and it will have all been worth it.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 3: Taking Control

Dear Friends and Family,

I feel a lot better now. Yay!

I think what pissed me off the most about the whole thing was that I had bent over backwards to make things work for old work, missing school field trips with P, and to thank me for it they eliminated my job. I felt like my eyes had been opened, and I regretted my decision to stay in August, but it didn't matter, I couldn't change the past and the future had been set for me.

But, then, I asked a question that is indicative of me, I asked if I could still resign. Was it too late for me to voluntarily resign, on my own terms? And, my boss and human resources, both stumped, told me I could.

So, at least, for me, it's a voluntary resignation. After I realized I was mentally done, I got to resign. The fact that it took my job getting eliminated for me to realize how done I was is a sad piece of collateral damage.

I'm still waiting for all of it to become final. But, I feel like I'm in a better place than I was yesterday.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 2: Time to Start Telling Everyone

Dear Friends and Family,

Today, I head into the office. My computer is organized with just my work files on it. Turns out I had a couple of emails from Mr. mouse and my sheet that I was using to track my hours on it. Still, it feels better knowing I had a chance to check.

And, today, I start telling people starting with my immediate team and then my extended team and then my business partners and then my department.

I'm not sure, emotionally, where I'm at. I haven't felt any real depth of emotion about this since the initial panic followed by relief that I wasn't being walked from the building. I've felt a little numb. Perhaps this is normal. Time will tell.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 1: Processing

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, I went to see my boss for my regularly scheduled 1:1 and was told that my position had been eliminated. I'll be honest, I was panicked, not because my job had been eliminated, but because I had put off backing up my work computer. It was on my to do list for this week, to transfer anything personal off of it. I do it once a month. It's not a lot of stuff. Some months it's nothing. But, I was mentally kicking myself for not doing it on Monday and losing that. Yes, that's what I was worried about.

But, my boss told me that they were giving me two weeks. I'd have the time for an orderly transition. They weren't going to escort me out of the door that moment. Well, that gave me a giant measure of calm. I'm still going to back up my work computer between now and Thursday in case they change their mind.

Then, my boss told me I could manage my message. I'm inclined to tell everyone that after taking vacation I realized I was done with this work and needed more time to focus on my new work. I'm not ashamed of getting let go. It's not ideal, but it's not something I'm embarrassed about. I just can't stand the thought of people looking at me with pity. I can't stand pity.

I hope in a couple of years I can look back on this differently. In the end, I'm fine with the result. The way we got to the result is not ideal. In a perfect world, I would have been able to pick my own end date, of early July. I would have hired and trained my backfill. But, in this imperfect world, my end date is mid-April and there is no backfill. It'll probably bug me for a bit. Hopefully, after some time passes, it'll stop bothering me.

For now, I truly am excited to have time back during the week to do other things that make me happy. I can spend more time on new work, I can spend more time on the house, I can spend more time on my to list, and I can spend more time on my health. All good things. I should feel blessed. I will feel blessed.

I just need a little time to process it all.


Cheers!
mouse

Nightmares

Dear Friends and Family,

I rarely have dreams and when I do they're never good dreams. Usually, they're recurring nightmares so I know how to cope with them. They sometimes repeat verbatim. They sometimes follow certain themes.

Last night, I added a new dream to nightmare portfolio. I was at a train station with P. We had a lot of bags. It was crowded. P found the right train. I couldn't reach her. I told her to get on the train without me and that I'd catch up with her afterwards. I went downstairs to wait for the next train.

Then, I realized that P doesn't know which stop to get off at and that she couldn't manage the bags and that she's four years old and really shouldn't be traveling alone on the train. Then, in panic, I missed the next train. Then, it was mass chaos and I was convinced I had lost her forever.

Then, fortunately for everyone involved, I woke up.

The first thing I did was go to P's room and hold her. I comforted myself with the knowledge that it was only a dream. She wasn't lost. She was in her room, asleep, warm and cuddly with a steady, comforting heartbeat signalling that nothing was amiss in her world. It was just my imagination.

Fortunately, I usually find a way to work my way out of a dream once I recognize it. This one took me by surprise because it was new.


Cheers!
mouse

04.07.14: Recharged

Dear Friends and Family,

In case you didn't notice, I've been MIA for the past two weeks.

And, for good reason... P had off the last two weeks from school and I decided to switch up my routine while she was off. It was refreshing. And, now I'm back and a little more recharged and a little less tired.

We went on vacation for part of spring break and I want to share something that's always true when I am on vacation. I love being on vacation. Never once, while on vacation, do I think, wow, this is awesome, but it'd be more awesome if I had (insert random item in house) here with me. Like, when we went to Egypt or Petra, I never thought, wow, this is awesome, but it'd be more awesome if my ironing board was here with me. See how ridiculous that sounds?

Well, the same was true on this vacation. We went to the Virgin Islands, and it was awesome, but would it have been even more awesome if we had packed our never-used tapas pans with us? I think not.

It made me aware that my life is so much more than the things in my house. I've been fighting clutter for so long, but it made me realize how low I had set the bar. Clutter is more than the piles littered all of the house of stuff with no home. Clutter is also the stuff in your house with a home that doesn't deserve a home in your house.

For example, hiding in plain sight is a green vase in my kitchen. It has a home on the top of my kitchen cabinets. It's been there for the past eight years untouched. Does it really deserve a home in our house? Or the cookie jar Mr. mouse has that's stored in our kitchen? Does it really deserve a home in our house?

I need to travel more, simply to remind me that I can be perfectly happy without 90% of the stuff that I own.


Cheers!
mouse

Monday

Dear Friends and Family,

Monday.

There's one thing more Mr. mouse is working on. He told me he'd be done by Monday. There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm not sure where this leaves us. I don't think it's as easy as turning on a light switch. But, I'm trying to be optimistic. It leaves us in a place where we can begin again.

It's not the best place to be, but it's not the worst place to be either. It's neutral ground. It's square one.

Well, I'd better go see why P is crying.


Cheers!
mouse

Wacky Wednesday

Dear Friends and Family,

My schedule is a little different this week because I'm taking Friday morning off to see Divergent. Yes, I've moved my schedule around so I can watch a movie at 10am while P is at school.

So, today, I've got a hot date with the three hole punch, organizing P's art work.

And, it's Thursday, so I can give an update on the art work. It's partly completed. Here's the overall art work strategy:

1. pile #1, it's not art pile: I have a binder for P's educational work. This includes sheets she does at home and at school. It's a 8.5" x 11" binder. I arrange the sheets chronologically. This binder is up to date.
2. pile #2, the really good stuff pile: I want to make an album with the really good stuff. As I go through each month's worth of artwork, I'm isolating ~4 pieces per month of stuff I really like. I'll buy an album with acid-free pages to save these pieces of art.
3. pile #3, most of the stuff pile: After I filter out the really good stuff, I go through my next filter. About 20 pieces make it through this filter. These pieces go in an 11" x 17" binder I bought. They get three hole punched. They get stapled to sheets if they are not the right form factor to three hole punch. It's not perfect preservation, but it's better than having it lie in piles around the house.
4. pile #4, the rest of the stuff: This pile ends up being the odds and ends that didn't make the cut. And, when I look at all of the pieces I've saved, I don't feel bad about this pile. Mr. mouse will take pictures of it before we throw it away so we'll still have a digital memory of it. We just won't keep the paper copy.

And, that my friends is how we're trying to restore sanity into this house. We'll have artwork, just not lying in piles all around the house.

Off to a more routine Thursday.


Cheers!
mouse

Chipping Away at the Hard Stuff

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, I took care of something that had been sitting on the back burner for a very long time. I fixed the dates on 160 photos from school ranging from 2011 through 2013. I know that sounds like a crazy thing to be proud of. But, it's something that's been sitting on my "laters" list forever.

I knew no one would die if I didn't get to it. But, I knew I would have a tough time incorporating the photos into P's books if they weren't dated correctly. Solution? Delay making P's books until the photos are dated correctly. Voila, three more things on the back burner. Problem solved.

Now that I have those photos dated correctly, I have some motivation to begin work on the books. It's funny how these things build in our minds. Task A needs to be completed before I can begin task B, but task C needs to be completed before I can begin task A, and so on and so forth. It's almost easier to ignore the whole chain of tasks.

But, I have to say, it feels good to make progress against it.


Cheers!
mouse

03.17.14: Worry Free Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a lot of mouse family drama this weekend. But, I was still able to describe the weekend as worry-free. Yes, my dad called and my mom called and I called my sister and she called my mother and my brother and the permutations could go on forever, but, still, I'd categorize the weekend as worry-free.

We have less of a scramble getting the house ready for housecleaning. We were able to spend Saturday playing with friends, eating a leisurely lunch, and picking up a package Mr. mouse needed. We were able to spend Sunday at church, and then at lunch, and then split with me at a meeting with friends and Mr. mouse at a museum with P. We were able to spend the evening doing random things we wanted to do - Mr. mouse getting ready for a school presentation and me watching an auto race.

No, our weekend wasn't empty, but there wasn't a list of stuff hanging over our heads. We enjoyed it and it felt worry-free. It didn't have that feeling weekends used to have, oh, you might enjoy yourself now, but there's a piper waiting to be paid on Monday if you don't get some bare minimum of stuff done this weekend feeling.

I have to say, it felt good.


Cheers!
mouse

Friday, I Love You

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday. I love Friday for a lot of different reasons. It's the end of the week, and after many years of a weekday/weekend schedule, Friday still feels like the end of a week with a weekend of fun ahead. It's the day my helper comes over and helps me get stuff done in the house. It's my special treat. It's the day P and I cook dinner together. It's the day I have a slumber party with P.

See? It's just a lot of little things to make the day extra special.

Well, I'm off to enjoy my Friday.


Cheers!
mouse

Progress on the List

Dear Friends and Family,

Time to revisit my list from two weeks ago.

Happy

• a neat kitchen
• a neat bathroom
• a new book I am reading
• staying on top of my to do list
• spending time with P
• a functioning thyroid

This list is still good.

Not Happy, Not Under My Control

• the relationship with Mr. mouse: we made progress yesterday, hopefully we make more this weekend

This list has definitely gotten shorter. I've figured out I hate situations where I am unhappy and can't do anything about it. I need to learn to deal with this better, in general.

Not Happy, Under My Control

• not having time to work on start up: I need to quit old work for good if I want this to happen
• working for old work: I need to quit old work for good if I want this to happen
• not being in a real relationship: this is my choice, I am choosing to wait and see what happens with Mr. mouse

This list has also gotten shorter.

No Longer Unhappy About

• the cold: we've had some breaks in the weather, that's all I really need, a couple of days to recharge from winter
• taxes: Mr. mouse finished them, we got a small refund
• slow start up: we signed up a third client, it's temporary, but it's a morale boost nonetheless
• when I lose it with P: I have not done this since I had a talk with P

Okay. I guess I continue to plug away at new work. And, I continue to figure out where my relationship with Mr. mouse is. Hopefully, we can put this all behind us at some point because February was a really low point in my life.


Cheers!
mouse

Time to be More Choosy

Dear Friends and Family,

I rearranged my one page life into a new format. And, in doing so my space for tasks got smaller. So, for now, everything is scrunched into a smaller space and I'm okay with that for two reasons.

First, I'm motivated to get through what's on it to make space. Second, more importantly, I'm motivated to be more choosy about what makes it onto the list. There's 25 tasks on the list. That may seem like a lot, but in reality, it's not that bad all things considering. It's everything, including reschedule haircut, buy birthday present for a party in two weeks, get car emissions testing done, everything. It's all encompassing. But, in an ideal world, I'd like that all encompassing list to be 7-10 tasks long. Now, I'm motivated because when the list is as long as it is, there's no space to add new things. Nice.

Well, on that note, Happy Tuesday.


Cheers!
mouse

03.10.14: Obsessions

Dear Friends and Family,

It was a good weekend.

Saturday, we took P to the museum with her friend. Then, we went for Vietnamese food for lunch. I don't remember what we did when we came home. I think I napped while P spent time with Mr. mouse. Yes, I think that's what happened.

Sunday, we went to church and then to a birthday party. P fell asleep on the way home. I napped with P while Mr. mouse ran errands.

What really made the weekend for me was the homily at church. The priest spoke about temptations, but he took the discussion down an unexpected path to addictions and how even health addictions aren't healthy in the long run. And, I realized I've got a couple of unhealthy addictions, obsessions, compulsions right now.

There's the thing with getting the house under control. I realize this isn't the healthiest behavior. But, for now, I think I will try to keep this one going. There's a certain measure of calm I get from a clean house. Perhaps once I get the whole house under control I can loosen vigilance. But, at least I recognize this as unhealthy behavior.

There's the thing with dinner. Last week, with P dropping her nap, we had a couple of nights of repeatedly calling Mr. mouse's office to make plans for the evening. I've decided to drop this one altogether. Going forward, I don't care what time Mr. mouse comes home. P and I will begin dinner at six o'clock. If Mr. mouse is home to join us, great, if not, oh well. I am dropping the crazy calling every night to coordinate routine. It's just not worth it.

There's the thing with Mr. mouse. He's taking time tomorrow to deal with his baggage. We'll see where this leaves us. I need to recognize I don't control him or his thoughts or his actions. I only control me and my thoughts and my actions. So, if I'm unhappy, I can make changes in what I think and do. Obsessively waiting on him, hoping for change, watching for change is just more craziness. I'm done with this one too. It's just not worth it.

So, it was a very good weekend. I feel like I'm in a better place today.


Cheers!
mouse

What To Do with My Friday

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday. I'm up inordinately early. I fell asleep at 7:30 last night. I got up a little after 2:00 this morning. This should make for an interesting Friday.

Mr. mouse was busy last night. There's one load of laundry left. The dishwasher was running when I woke up.

It's tough to process information when it's four in the morning and you've already been up for two hours.

I think I'll... I'm not even sure where to get started. I think I'll have tea and think through my day.

Remind me, the next time I'm debating going to sleep early. Falling asleep at 7:30 could be great, but it could have unintended consequences.


Cheers!
mouse

Adjusting

Dear Friends and Family,

It'll come as no surprise to you that I'm not the happiest person right now.

In the midst all of this, we're also adjusting to P dropping her nap. We can still get her to nap, but we decided it was a sub-optimal nap. It took her awhile to fall asleep and then we'd be fighting bedtime in the evening. So, for the past two days we've been skipping nap.

Odd as it may sound, it changes everything.

We now have a solid two hours to play together in the afternoon. We have time for lessons. We have time for story dictation. We have time for science experiments. We have time for all sorts of things. Then, dinner comes a lot earlier - as in 6:00 early. Dinner used to be an 8 o'clock event.

The big change comes after P goes to sleep. She's in bed by 7:30, not 10:00. So, I have the evening free. The last two nights I used it to do housework. And, while it's gratifying to have a clean house, I feel short changed. Instead of spending time with P, I'm spending my evening doing housework while Mr. mouse is passed out either in P's room or in our room.

How did this all of a sudden become my sole responsibility?

There's a piece of me that feels like Mr. mouse's life got a lot easier when I left work. My life? I'm not too sure.

I think, another option, at least for the moment, is to spend a quick half hour doing housework, from 7:30-8:00, say, and then to go out. Perhaps I'll go to a coffee house, or a bar, or a bookstore, or somewhere. But, I feel like I'm boxed in and there's a piece of me that wants to be free.

Well, we'll see where this heads.

The other part I'm not sure how to deal with is P's perception of time with me vs. Mr. mouse. Since she spends a lot of time with me in the afternoon, she wants to spend a lot of time with Mr. mouse when he gets home. Still, it feels like she spends time with me because she has to, and then when she has a choice, she prefers to spend it with Mr. mouse. I'm not sure I want to instill that mental model. And, I'm not sure how I feel with that perception.

Sigh.


Cheers!
mouse

Date for a Date

Dear Friends and Family,

Do you know how you can recognize a program manager? Here's an excellent example.

There are two tasks left on Mr. mouse's to do list before we can begin thinking about where this relationship is headed.

I asked Mr. mouse last night if he had a date for when he wanted to target completion of the first task. He said no. Then, I pressed him and asked him if he had a date for when he'd have the target completion date. A date for a date. That's program management, folks.

And, he said, yes. He has a date for the date. This Friday. Well, I suppose I'll bin that in the progress column.


Cheers!
mouse

Uninspired

Dear Friends and Family,

There are times where even I can look at a to do list and not be motivated. Today is one of those days. Nothing on it is very appealing.

1. spring shoes for P: It's 12° out. It just doesn't seem right to be shopping for spring shoes when it's 12° out.
2. schedule P's party: I need to research places to hold her birthday party. This is always a tough task.
3. emissions testing: Perhaps I'll do this this weekend.
4. washer fluid: who can get excited about washer fluid? I'll check to see if we have any in the 12° garage.
5. Chicago Parent: I need to find a recent copy and go through it. They always have good tips on stuff to do.
6. artwork screen: Now that February is done, I can begin going through P's artwork to pick what gets saved in the book, what gets saved in the binder and gets tossed.
7. taxes: I'm going to let Mr. mouse finish this one. I'm afraid of looking at it funny and going from refund to payment.
8. spring clothes for P: It's 12° out.
9. photo book: We have a $20 credit on Shutterfly. I think that equates to a free photo book.
10. school year book, page 15: This just needs to get done.
11. car seat: now that P is officially big enough for a new car seat, we need to research and buy one.
12. dinner with friends: I need to schedule dinner with two friends. I think I'm waiting on emails from them.
13. school year book email: I need to see if there's anything I need help on... like page 15... hmm...
14. thank you card: for the hosts from the event we went to Saturday night.
15. withholding amount: I think we need to change this so we aren't cutting it as close next year.

Well, that's the uninspired list.

I think I'll tackle thank you card. Those are always best when they are immediate. Yes. That's what I'll try and get done today.


Cheers!
mouse

03.03.14: Busy Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Monday and I'm in a better spot than last Monday.

P had a math fair on Saturday. And, Mr. mouse and I did not do well with the fair. First, he accused me of doing the project for P. Then, I accused him of the same. We are just not in a good spot.

We spent Saturday afternoon running errands. We returned a dress I didn't need. We dropped off a watch to have the battery replaced. We dropped off rings and key chains to be polished. P and I napped while Mr. mouse went in to the stores.

Saturday night, Mr. mouse and I had an event to attend. We dropped P off with friends who had hired a baby sitter and the four of us headed out for the evening. We rarely go out without P. And, when we do it's almost always for events since we are fine bringing her with us to places where it's just the three of us.

I had a lot of fun just talking with the other adults. It was nice to be out and have the time to be with adults. I have snippets of conversation here and there at drop-off and pick-up and at work, but to have a couple of hours was nice.

Sunday, I met with a close friend who agreed to help me with my marketing plan. We now have a mostly complete Facebook page. Hopefully in a couple of weeks we'll have enough content to be able to share it with our network to grow our client base.

The kitchen is still mostly under control. The bathroom is still neat. I finished the book I was reading. I'm looking forward to reading it again. Yes, I do crazy things like read books multiple times. No, I don't consider that a waste of my time. My to do list is still under control. And, I've been enjoying life with P, as always. And, she seems to be in a happier spot now than she was a week ago.

The cold. Well, it's still cold. And, it's still snowing a lot. And, it's March. The only ray of hope is Friday. It's supposed to be above freezing without snow on Friday. Friday is only five days from today.

Taxes. Mr. mouse was working on our taxes when I woke up. We still need to double check them, but it looks like we may get a small refund. It's a smaller refund than I would like, but I'm not going to quibble. It's much better than owing money. And, if we're getting a refund, I'm okay with a spring break trip. I didn't want to go if we had a large tax bill hanging over our heads, but with a refund, I'm game.

The relationship with Mr. mouse. Well, I'm not sure if we've made a lot of progress on this front. He knows what he has to do. He knows I'm getting impatient. We'll see if we make any progress on this front. If not, I know where this is headed and I think I am okay with that. I'm not happy with it, but I've come to terms with it.

Work. The convoluted thing that is work is still convoluted. I'm glad I made progress on my business this weekend. I'm optimistic that it will lead to good things. At least I now have things to do, and there's nothing like a to do list to keep me happy. Old work is still a disaster. But, I've also resigned myself to continuing to plug away at it while Mr. mouse and I sort through our lives and I work on growing my new business.

P. I'm proud to say I had a conversation with P about my fears and we've worked through them together. She's so precious, I'm afraid of all the people out in the world with less than good intentions. When she wanders or makes a run for it, I panic. She's been better about staying close since we spoke. It's hard being a parent. It's even harder when the world seems to salivate when they see your kid. I'm not sure a lot of parents can relate. I think they think I'm overreacting. I'm not. Really. I'm not.

Well, so, overall, I'm in a better place. I'll continue to work on the house. I'll continue to work on my to do list. I'll keep my fingers crossed on the weather and on spring break. I'll plug away at both of my work obligations. And, I'll hope Mr. mouse recognizes the urgency of getting our relationship back on track.


Cheers!
mouse