03.16.15: Too Much to Celebrate

Dear Friends and Family,

With Maple Syrup festivals and Pi Day and St. Patrick's Day and the spring weather, it almost seemed like celebration overload for the weekend.

Saturday, we went out to the suburbs to learn about maple syrup. We got to see sap coming out of a tree. We got to taste the sap. We tried tapping a tree. We saw the syrup being boiled down. We saw how pioneers lived. We saw how Native Americans lived. We ate pancakes and maple syrup.

We came home and napped to prepare for the evening.

Saturday evening, we went over to a friend's house to celebrate Pi Day. As always, we had so much fun at their house. it was 11 o'clock when I realized we should probably get P into bed. We got home a little after midnight and went to bed close to one.

Sunday morning came quickly. P and I had a brunch party at American Girl. P loved it, but was good about leaving her borrowed doll, Claire Crouk, at the door when she left.

We came home and napped again to prepare for the afternoon.

Sunday afternoon, we went to a robotics birthday party. It was a great chance to catch up with the parents and to watch the kids make robots. There was a point in the party when the gym was open and twenty kids were playing with their robots on the gym floor. Some were chasing them. So had them corralled with friends using their legs as gates. Some were stooped over them adjusting them. It was pure magic.

And, now, it's Monday. Perhaps we'll celebrate St. Patrick's Day tomorrow. Or, perhaps we'll let to the Irish soda bread we bought be the extent of our celebrations.


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse Lake House Thoughts - Entryway

Dear Friends and Family,

I know I'm about 20 years late to the party, but in looking for inspiration for our front entryway, I found myself on a feng shui website. And, I was surprised (or not surprised) to learn that we're not far from where we need to be.

If I had the time and the inclination, I would:

1. paint the entry way a more neutral color, something closer to taupe because I'm not a big fan of the clay orange the former owners used.
2. replace the coat hooks with a simpler wood set of coat hooks. I liked the ones we have now when we put them up, but now I feel like they'd be better used in P's room to hang her stuff.
3. lower the print we have on the wall. It's really too high up on the wall.
4. add a focal point to anchor the table. It used to be bubbles because P likes to blow bubbles on the front steps, but I feel like I'd like something more decorative. If I were to go with the feng shui recommendations, it'd be something plantlike, but not necessarily alive - something with some green.
5. replace the table with something a hair narrower so it sat fully behind the door instead of protruding an inch or so into the entryway.
6. replace the front door with something a little nicer than the generic metal door that the builder put in. I'd love something that looked like wood.

There's my list.


Cheers!
mouse

Program Management Time

Dear Friends and Family,

It's mid-March and I have been working on and off on my work website since the beginning of the year. If I'm going to be honest with myself, days can go by where I don't make much progress. This wouldn't happen at work. But, at home, when there's a lot of distractions, it does happen.

And, to the degree that I'm partially retired, I'm okay with letting life get in the way. I like our home beginning organized. I like not feeling like I'm treading water with absolute chaos just around the corner. I like looking at a to do list that is under control. I like having time for walks now that the days are nice.

But, at the same time, the program manager in me feels like I need to better scope out the website. I think I'll put together a plan for April 15th to go live come hell or high water, or frankly both. Then, I can continue to modify it and work on it and improve it. But, I'll be live. That'll be my plan for today. I'll put together a plan for the next four weeks to get from here to there. I am confident I can do it.

I can do anything I set my heart and mind to. It's usually a matter of setting my heart and mind to it.


Cheers!
mouse

Bonus Deployment

Dear Friends and Family,

Last Friday, Mr. mouse got his bonus. And, after some back and forth we agreed how we would deploy it. 56% of it went into our savings account towards our retirement. Normally, we try to put 90% of it towards retirement savings. But, we wanted to pay off a loan we had made to ourselves from our short term savings account, so we used 34% of it to effectively pay ourselves off. And, that left 10% of it for a vacation. That was our reward to ourselves for the months in 2014 when we were living on a super tight budget. So, I guess, in a way, we did save 90% of it, just in two separate accounts.

And, that, feels so good. I feel like, as long as we continue to live within our means, we won't find ourselves in the dire straights we found ourselves in last summer. And, truth be told, they were dire only because I wanted to dig myself out quickly. There wasn't ever any real danger of expenses not being met. It was more of the little conveniences that go away when each dollar counts. For example, parking was a huge deal - $8 here, $12 there, and before you knew it you could spend $100 on parking, in a month, easily.

In a way, living on super tight budget is easy. There's less to think about, less to worry about. Some decisions get made for you. What's for dinner tonight? Easy. We're eating whatever's in the fridge because we're not going shopping tonight and there's no money to go out. What's the plan for the weekend? Easy. We're playing with the toys we have because we're not buying new ones and there's no money to go out. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Now, for some people, it may sound like tragedy to live in a world of no. But, I'll tell you, I enjoyed it once I got used to it. By not going out, we had some of the best weekends with P. We built crazy concoctions out of Lego. We went exploring in her rocket ship to far worlds like Mars and Trophy Planet. We learned about science through cooking. P learned how to help with folding laundry.

So, now, even if we could go off of our budget, I've decided to keep us on a budget. It won't be as restrictive as the one we were on. But, we'll still have plenty of opportunity to make our own fun.


Cheers!
mouse

03.09.15: Fresh Off the Boat: 1995 or 2015?

Dear Friends and Family,

Our weekend was fun. We had a play date on Saturday at our friends house. Then, Sunday, P went to see a play with Mr. mouse and I got a chance to do some paper organization.

But, that's not what I want to write about. Living in a major metropolitan area in 2015, I thought we had moved beyond blatant racism to the more insidious racism that is so much harder to prove like white privilege. But, I've come to realize we haven't moved completely into a brave new world which makes me realize if it's like this for me, it's gotta be a whole lot worse for other minorities.

So, what happened? A couple of weeks ago some crazy jumped out of her car and threatened Mr. mouse with her snow scraper and called him a Chink because he got mad at her for driving into a crosswalk full of pedestrians. She also threatened him with the cops, apparently her dad and her brother are part of Chicago's finest. If she was 1,000 years old, it'd be one thing. But, the fact that she was in her mid-twenties adds an entirely different context to the whole incident.

Then, last week, I was at an airport, in Seattle. And, going through security, the TSA agent decided it was necessary to speak to me in very simplified English, slowly and loudly, in a very derogatory tone. I remember this happening in 1995 on flights when people assumed I was a tourist from Asia. But, come on. It's 2015. I've been speaking English for 40+ years. I dress like a sloppy American, not like an Asian tourist. There's no need to presume I can't speak English. It's insulting.

Then, last night, we went out for dinner. We had reservations. There were tons of open tables at 6 o'clock. They walked us past the main dining room to the very last table right by the doorway to the kitchen. Not knowing better, P climbed in and Mr. mouse was ready to climb in. And, I said, no. I didn't want the worst table on the floor when there were clearly better tables free. Mr. mouse asked me if I was willing to wait. I was. Frankly, I would have walked at that point, but I didn't want to make a scene. Not surprisingly, they were able to find us a perfectly acceptable table because when they pulled their collective head out of the fog they realized they had walked past a dozen tables before getting to the table by the service door. I wasn't sure if this whole situation happened because we had a small child with us or because we are Asian. Well, half way through dinner, they sat several families with children throughout the restaurant. I felt that answered my question - wouldn't want those fresh off the boat people where anyone can see them, would we?

And, now, I'm just disappointed in people. In 2015, we still haven't figured this out. And, like I said, if it's like this for me, what must it be like for others? I feel like we've come so far, but there is so much more road that needs to be traveled before we reach a point where race truly doesn't matter. I will have to figure out how to help P navigate a world that still sees black and white.


Cheers!
mouse

Friday Full of Tasks

Dear Friends and Family,

I didn't get as much done on Thursday as I thought I would, partly because I wasn't as efficient as I could have been. But, it does mean that the overflow as piled up on to a busier than expected Friday.

Then, I had a bad dream. And, Mr. mouse didn't wake me when the alarm clock rang because he thought I was awake. And, that only makes the day more hectic.

Well, nothing I can do at this point besides move on. Guess I go wake P now.


Cheers!
mouse

Home Again

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm home again. My flight out to the Emerald City was delayed enough to make my connection an adventure. But, I made it and I felt like a kid on holiday when I walked out of the airport. It was my first trip away from Mr. mouse and P since a business trip I took when P was a little over a year old. Yes, it had been that long.

We went for coffee and then for pizza and then for a long walk. Just walking in the sun watching the glimmers on the water was enough to make me feel like a new person. There's something about seeing water. It's soothes my soul.

We went for ice cream and then went home to see the kids. We made ribs for dinner. On a whim we made peach cobbler for dessert. While dinner was cooking, we took the kids to swim class. Then, before we knew it, it was time for bed.

Since I got up at 2 in the morning and it was close to midnight my time, I slept like a rock. Well, I did, but I didn't because I knew I had an early morning flight to catch and I didn't want to oversleep.

Wednesday morning, the alarm rang at 3:50 and I got ready in time to go the airport for a 6 AM flight home. But, the flight was full and instead I found myself with a bonus day with my friends. We bought bagels. We walked the kids to school. We explored the University campus to see what kids nowadays are doing in school. My flight got delayed. We went out for noodles and then I went to see my friend's office which has a great view of downtown. We went to the airport and found a spot at the club to sit and talk.

And, before I knew it, it was flight time. My friend got home before the traffic got horrendous and I lucked out and got a window seat with an empty middle seat. I watched some TV and ate a snack on the way home. Mr. mouse picked me up and P was asleep in the back with her furry crocs on her feet and socks on her hands.

When I saw her I realized I was home again and my trip was over. While it was therapeutic to spend the time away from home it was also nice to be home again.


Cheers!
mouse

03.03.15: Brains. Brains for Breakfast.

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday morning or rather it's really Monday night even with my generous definition of morning that starts at 4 AM.

Our weekend was fun. Saturday, we went to see a play and then had friends over. Sunday, we went to mass and then dim sum and then P played the afternoon with our friend visiting to see the opera. Monday, I caught up on to dos and finished off season five of Downton Abbey. And, now, I'm packed and off to a quick trip to see Mr. mouse's best friend. I'll be back on Wednesday if everything goes to plan.

Until then, P will be partying with Mr. mouse.


Cheers!
mouse

Friday!

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday and I'm feeling good, not great, but good. What would make me feel great? That's a good question.

If I spent 15 minutes getting the house in order. I went to sleep last night without doing that.

If I spent 10 minutes and clipped my nails. They're a hot mess. I wish I had the time to go for a manicure, but realistically I don't.

If I got a couple of things knocked off of the to do list so that I'm set up for success next week.

If I ate better yesterday. I ate too much salt yesterday. And, I ate too much overall. I need to put together an eating plan. If I spent 30 minutes really thinking about an eating plan.

That's a couple of hours work. I guess I could try to get there from here.


Cheers!
mouse

Retirement Reviews

Dear Friends and Family,

I must be the only person in all of America who looks forward to reviewing my retirement accounts. On the last trading day of every month I update a file I have been maintaining since January of 2010 with all of the information on how our retirement accounts are performing. And then the file spits out how much money we would have per month for retirement if we retired right now.

Before I had this file we would meet quarterly with our investment adviser and we would look at our portfolio together. Once a year we'd get an update on our overall retirement plan scenarios. It was useful, but I never really understood the math in the different scenarios. I wanted different assumptions and the cookie cutter plans couldn't really accommodate my wants so my adviser would jury rig it to make it work, but it never felt right.

With my own sheet, I can type in whatever assumptions I want about social security, college, lifespan, cost of living adjustments, etc. to get to an outcome I feel comfortable with. It might mean we're saving more than we need to, but I'd rather have money left over than be short because expenses went up faster than people thought they would.

Well, tomorrow is our retirement review. So, I've got my fingers crossed that nothing bounces the market around too much between now and tomorrow afternoon. I know it's only a snapshot in time, but it's still nice to record a happy snapshot.


Cheers!
mouse

Catch Up Day

Dear Friends and Family,

P, the kid who almost never gets sick, got sick yesterday. Actually, she got sick Monday night and was sick yesterday. She's still out of sorts today, but she wants to go to school so we're letting her make the call on it. Hopefully she makes it through the day in one piece.

For me, it's a catch up day. My mom left yesterday afternoon. And, I've got a couple of things I'd like to get crossed off of my list. Time to get started on the day.


Cheers!
mouse

02.23.15: End of February

Dear Friends and Family,

I won't focus on Saturday night because Saturday night did not go well. Instead, I'll focus on Sunday because Sunday was a lot of fun. We went to church on Sunday morning and heard an inspirational talk about life in general. In essence, the speaker told us that life will be full of challenges and that we need to be brave enough to face those challenges. After Saturday, I certainly did feel like life was full of challenges and I didn't even know where to begin.

But, in a zen moment, I decided to empty my mind and see if I could be more mindful. And, that's when I realized that I need to be strong. I need to be honest about who I am and stand up for what I believe in. And, that made me feel better.

We went to lunch after church and P had an abysmal lunch. She's had a terrible run with eating lately - easily distracted, picky about her food, annoyed with noise, you name it, she's used it as an excuse. So, meal times have been torture for us. And, instead of fighting it anymore, we decided to take away dress up day until the situation improves. This morning, we put together a chart and she needs to earn 10 stickers in the next 13 meals to earn dress up day back. So far she's earned one sticker. Hooray!

After our abysmal lunch and after lunch meltdown we went to a friend's birthday party. It was P's first time ice skating and we were ready for a meltdown, but she did surprisingly well and enjoyed herself. I guess we'll have to go again some time.

I napped the rest of the day, but P played with my mom and enjoyed the afternoon. And now it's Monday. Time to get some work done.


Cheers!
mouse

Nice Dream

Dear Friends and Family,

Wednesday night I had a nice dream. I had a dream about an ex-boyfriend - the one I was dating when I met Mr. mouse. I always felt a little bad that things did not work out between the two of us. Or rather, I don't feel badly that things didn't work out between the two of us, but I do feel badly about how it ended.

In my dream, I ran into him and he was working in scientific research and had just announced a major breakthrough in the field he was studying. He was married with children. He was doing well. He was happy. We had a nice conversation. And, he forgave me for the mess I made of our lives 20 years ago.

I woke up feeling warm and happy. It was a nice dream.


Cheers!
mouse

Grandma's Here! Grandma's Here! Grandma's Here!

Dear Friends and Family,

There's nothing like having Grandma visit. For P, it's a new playmate - someone who lets her direct the play and is willing to explore P's favorite topics with her. Yesterday, P and my mom played fashion show. P put on dress up outfit after dress up outfit and giggled with my mom. They stayed up in P's room and chatted about the things little girls need to tell their grandma.

Then, we had dinner and dessert and P went to bed. It's freezing cold today. And we have swim this afternoon. Wish us luck.


Cheers!
mouse

Grandma's Coming! Grandma's Coming! Grandma's Coming!

Dear Friends and Family,

If you visited inside P's head today, that's what you would hear. She had close to twelve hours of sleep last night. And, she's eating dinner for breakfast this morning. And, she's counting down the hours until my mom arrives later today.

It's so endearing watching our five year old. She's sharp as a tack and you can see her logic coming through. She's independent enough to open and close her own car door. Yet, things are still new and fascinating for her. Like when we fold laundry, she loves sorting the clothes and folding the napkins. Or when the soap dispenser stops working, she loves working through testing process with Mr. mouse or me. Or when she's counting down the hours until grandma is coming and she smiles every time she realizes it's today.

Our little P.


Cheers!
mouse

02.16.15: P and the Pool

Dear Friends and Family,

If P could, she would move into a Sheraton hotel and spend her days swimming until bed time. We were traveling this weekend and that is effectively what she did. I split my time between the hot tub and the pool, but P spent her time in the pool swimming, racing, and trying to reach the bottom. Her lips get thin and blue, her eyes get ringed with goggle lines and her fingers prune up like raisins, but I've rarely seen her happier.

And, now, it's back to another week. My mom is coming later this week. P is super excited.


Cheers!
mouse

Scurrying

Dear Friends and Family,

Good morning. I've got a meeting this morning with my accountant. So, I need to go shower. Sorry. Have a good day.


Cheers!
mouse

Meeting with My Accountant Tomorrow

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm meeting with my accountant tomorrow. So, I need to prepare this morning. Have a great Wednesday!


Cheers!
mouse

Sunny Tuesday

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday. It's sunny. I immediately feel just a little bit better with the sun shining.

Last night, I got to vent to a girlfriend and I feel better for it. Today, I need to get through my task list. Then, I will be in a better place.

Time to go tackle emails.


Cheers!
mouse

02.09.15: Weekend Highlights

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Monday. The start of another week. It's a short week because P doesn't have school on Friday. And, it's an even shorter week because I have a school meeting on Wednesday and a meeting with my accountant on Thursday. So, I need to make the most of the day today and tomorrow.

We had a fun weekend. Friday, we went out to dinner with friends. Then, Saturday, we went to see our old school friends and catch up over sledding and pizza and movies. Sunday, we played Lego with P all day. It seemed like the most perfect weekend.

Then, it all fell apart Sunday night. We were folding laundry and talking. And, Mr. mouse voiced that he was unhappy. I asked him what would make him happier. And, he wouldn't talk. I sat there waiting for him and he went off to do email. Classic Mr. mouse. Right there. Total avoidance. Let's not talk about it and somehow it'll magically go away. Perhaps I'm insane... After all, to quote Einstein, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I always try to open a line of conversation somehow expecting he'll take me up on it. But, it's because otherwise we'll continue to do the same thing and get the same results which will continue to make Mr. mouse unhappy. See? We're a house of crazies. The lunatics have taken over the asylum.

Well, I sat there waiting. And, then I got irritated at being ignored. That's just plain rude. So, I got mad and went to bed. I think I know why Mr. mouse is mad. I think it has to do with the budget. Well, I'm sorry. We're on a budget. I don't know what to say about it. I've given him options on how to save money so we have more money to spend in areas we care about, but classic Mr. mouse. He hates making decisions so those stay in limbo and the budget doesn't change. I don't know what to tell him. The other thing that irritates me is that we've gotten through seven months of this. Sometime this spring this should all resolve itself. It's just around the corner so someone's going to have to man up and suck it up for a couple of more months. We're all grown ups here.

Me? Why am I so upset? Well, there's the reminder that we are not good at working out our problems. There's Mr. mouse's inability to let go and throw anything away. And, there's the fact that I have no good idea how to repair our friendship. It's just a big old cluster and my mom is coming in a week and I just feel sorry for all of us. We all just want to be happy but we can't seem to find a way to get there from here.

Well, I can't mope. I need to get a ton done today. It's a short week after all.


Cheers!
mouse

Blogger before Facebook

Dear Friends and Family,

It's not a matter of priorities. It's more a practical matter. Once I've scrolled through my Facebook feed, my mind feels numb. Hmm. Perhaps that should be a sign that I shouldn't be ignoring.

Anyway. We had family night last night. We all piled into P's bed to sleep to celebrate the ribbon she got at swim last week. Well, Mr. mouse and I climbed into P's bed. P slept in her cozy corner. I guess when you're an only child without cousins you need to work with what you've got. I still remember all the sleepovers I had with my cousins. I guess P will grow up without that. Families are so small now and so separated. But, it's not like she knows any different.

On deck for today? I'm working on my website. Hooray! And, we've got dinner tonight with friends. And, since it's Friday, I'm sleeping with P tonight. Seriously. I feel like I've moved into her room with the amount of traveling Mr. mouse has done recently. Golly. I wish I knew if there are any more trips planned. Oops. That would require some amount of communication and coordination which we've apparently decided to forego. Why be practical? It's so much more fun to live life blindfolded. Keeps you on your toes.

On a more happy note, I sent P with Mr. mouse to his haircut last night and used that time to catch up on emails and a monthly tax form that's due in a week. That felt good. And working on my website today will feel good as well.


Cheers!
mouse

New Day Same Spot

Dear Friends and Family,

I'll admit it. I'm not in a good spot.

Last night, P texted Mr. mouse to say good night and we received no text back. This morning, I checked the phone, and still no text back. Combined with his travel right near the holidays and a large cash withdrawal on that trip and our disagreement over this week's travel and his focus on the grapes, I'm almost inclined to believe he's having an affair.

Do I really believe he's having an affair? No, not really.

But, I do know something. I always thought of Mr. mouse as my best friend. But, I think somehow in the chaos that is our lives, sometimes I feel like that's no longer true. I think that's why it's sometimes hard to find a happy spot. I have lots of friends. But, I don't have my best friend.

How to fix the situation? I honestly don't know where to begin. We have time alone together now since P goes to bed early. But, sometimes Mr. mouse falls asleep with P and sometimes we have errands and chores and sometimes we just do our own thing and sometimes I turn in early.

I don't know how to fix the situation. And, that means I'll probably be in the same spot tomorrow that I'm in today. Time to put on a brave face and whistle a happy tune.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: I know why Mr. mouse didn't text last night. It's because we wrote to say we were going to sleep and he didn't want to risk waking us. We had that debacle on a prior trip. At least that's what I think it is. Caffeine = good.

02.04.15: Wednesday

Dear Friends and Family,

Clearly I need a new social media routine. I haven't been writing and I haven't been reading and I haven't been on Facebook. While all of this saves me time it also makes me feel a little odd like I'm in a vacuum occupied only by my thoughts and my small interactions with the world around me. It makes me feel solitary.

I think I'm still struggling with the transition I've made. And, I think I'm still struggling with winter blues.

Mr. mouse and I got into a something-or-other last night. It wasn't big enough to call a fight, but it wasn't small enough to brush off. Since I left old work, Mr. mouse has been traveling for work. Somehow he rarely traveled for work before, but now he travels regularly. I'm not sure I understand the dynamic behind it. I'm not sure if it's a hump of backlogged travel that he needs to get through or if this is the new reality. I'm not sure I understand. In fact, I'm quite sure I don't understand.

I do know how it makes me feel. It makes me feel like he's assuming I've got the flexibility to move whatever needs to be moved to manage my own calendar, P's calendar and whatever else that needs to get done. He doesn't check before he books his work travel, he doesn't let me know much in advance that he's going, and somehow he assumes it will all work out. And, in general, it does. Except, like in the Dr. Seuss books, sometimes it doesn't. And, that's where it makes me feel like he's assuming I will make everything move to work around his world.

I know he feels he makes trades offs without even letting me know about them. These sacrifices that I am oblivious to should make me feel grateful. Except, they don't. I'm unaware of them. How can I feel grateful? Instead I feel resentful and like a second class citizen.

Last month, one night, I was cleaning the family room floor because it really did need a good scrubbing. And, Mr. mouse told me he didn't marry a housewife. And, I told him that's good since I didn't want to be a housewife. Yet, in the end, I feel like it's a slippery slope and a death of a thousand cuts and sooner or later I will wake up and realize that that is exactly what I have become.

So, I've got swim this afternoon with P. I'm still trying to find time with my accountant, which is what started this whole disaster. And, I find myself struggling to keep my new year's resolution of being happy. I am sad today. I am sad because having gotten here I don't know how to get out of here to a happier place.

Mr. mouse knew I was upset last night. But, in classic Mr. mouse fashion he hunkered down and focused on his grapes. After five minutes, I got up and went to fold the laundry. The rest of the night was a combination of Mr. mouse putting away the laundry and doing who knows what in the basement and me sitting on the couch reading the news on my phone in the dark.

And, today, more solidly than ever, I feel like I own the home calendar and my calendar and P's calendar, and all of these must be able to flex as needed to accommodate Mr. mouse's calendar. And, that'll be my unhappy place until I find a way to a happier place.

I guess new year's resolution requires work. That's okay. If it's free, it's probably not worth much.


Cheers!
mouse

Friday

Dear Friends and Family,

My apologies. It's been over a week. Mr. mouse has been traveling and that means I've been a little busier taking care of P. He's back later today and P is counting down the hours.

Me? I'm a little stunned that it's the end of January already. Seriously? But, I'm also very happy. My to do list is manageable. The house is manageable. The budget is manageable. The work is manageable. The year end forms are getting done. The website is getting started. And, it's so much better than it was last year in January when I was still working part-time at old work. I really should have quit in August when I quit and not stayed on part-time, but the money was nice so I'm not sure how to think of it all. I'm still coming to grips with it.

Plus, to add to my good mood, the winter has been milder than last winter. And, the days are getting longer. I'm doing well.


Cheers!
mouse

Feng Shui and the Home

Dear Friends and Family,

It's been cloudy and I've been mentally sorting through my head. Today, I've got help coming, but oddly enough I don't want to be home for it. I have a list for her to tackle, but I think I'll go out for a spell.

Why?

I casually invited my assistant over to my party this past weekend. And, she came. And, she got very drunk. And, she said a bunch of embarrassing things. Fortunately, it was late enough into the evening that it wasn't a big deal. But, it still wasn't cool. Her husband was there, but he didn't do much to alleviate the situation. I felt bad for him. Still, I wasn't sure what to expect. On Sunday, she thanked me for inviting her to the party. It was clear she didn't remember anything of the evening. Still, I'm not a good liar and I don't want any awkwardness so I think I'll just give us some space until we can talk about other things.

So, I'm off to shower and eat and "run some errands" for the day.


Cheers!
mouse

01.19.15: The Day After

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Monday and we're almost back to a normal schedule. P's off from school today and she wants to spend the day getting her world back in order. We moved a bunch of stuff around for the party. And, then we needed to rescue several toys when the kids got out of hand. And, I think the current disorder is getting to her. So, when I asked her what she wanted to do today, she said she wanted to spend the day with me at home getting her things organized. I can respect that and I'm more than happy to spend the day with her doing that.

Mr. mouse and I will have a lot to do over the next week getting the rest of the house back in one piece. But, I'm okay with that. We had a fabulous night. I was a little afraid at one point because the kids were getting a little crazy and I thought P would have a meltdown if anything got destroyed, but we made it through that part and were able to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Now, we just need to unwind and slowly put everything back together.


Cheers!
mouse

Spouses

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, I was watching a video from my mom's dance recital. She had been practicing for months and I thought she was beautiful.

Watching her dance, I began to wonder what she wanted from her marriage. I think she wants to feel loved and cherished and appreciated. I feel bad, because those aren't things my dad is especially good at. My dad? I don't know. On the surface, I think he wants a servant, someone to keep his house clean, cook his food, and fetch for him constantly. But, deeper down, I think he's looking for validation and self-worth. I think he's a got a lot of baggage, but no one can give him what he needs. That comes from within. I'm just not sure after all of these years that he'll find it in him.

Then, I realized how different my relationship is with Mr. mouse. I want to be loved and cherished and appreciated. But, just as important to me is to feel like I'm on my life's journey with my best friend. I want companionship. And, I feel like I have all of that and more with Mr. mouse. We enjoy spending time together.

This weekend we are celebrating, marking the weekend twenty years ago when we first spent a lot of time together. We had met briefly before that in random chance encounters, but this weekend is special for us.

Today, I'm feeling especially happy.


Cheers!
mouse

New Infrastructure

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night, we put in a new cable modem. And, while the cable company promised us all sorts of benefits associated with the new cable modem, I'm not sure we've seen any noticeable differences in our download and upload speeds. I am happy about one thing... Our new cable modem is a 2 in 1 cable modem and router. And, in the process of installing it, we also unplugged most of our devices and plugged them into our UPS. So, there's modest improvements in cord management. And, we have a guest network now that is separate from our main network. So, I guess I'm happy with the new arrangement. I guess we'll have to wait until we upgrade our computers to see any real difference in our internet performance.


Cheers!
mouse

Odds and Ends Day

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm going to be ambitious today and try to tackle a bunch of year end forms for work. I'm also going to try and take three bins of odds and ends and reduce the odds and ends to two bins of odds and ends. Oh, and I need to review our December expenses to make sure we didn't get too crazy with our holiday spending. Then, if time allows I should catch up on emails.

Which to tackle first? I think I'll begin with the odds and ends. Then, I'll move on to the computer stuff.


Cheers!
mouse

01.12.15: Home Again

Dear Friends and Family,

After a bummer week with no internet access, we're home and up and running and the weather is in the double digits. I am happy. I have also been sticking with my new year's resolution to do something each day to make our place more of an airbnb and me more of a happy soul on permanent staycation. No one change is monumental. Nor does it feel like I'm anywhere close to done. But, I am beginning to see signs of progress. And, that feels amazing.

I've been spending a lot of my time on the main room that we spend our time in. In most houses it would either be in the basement or in a separate room with closed doors. It's filled with P's toys and is mostly a playroom. It is also a dumping ground for all of the stuff she brings home from school... mostly artwork, but also sheets and cards and photos... I've been slowly going through things to figure out what we still play with and what we've moved on from. Today, I moved two bins of stuffies upstairs to P's room. That opened up space to put a bunch of stuff sitting on the floor (Lincoln Logs, Jenga, and blocks) into the shelf. It makes more sense to have the stuffies in P's room. Now, I just need to put some thought into their home in her room. But, still, it's one step closer.

I'm also happy because we got to spend the weekend with friends from the mouse winter cabin. It was cold, but it doesn't feel as cold because no one makes a fuss over the cold. P got to walk on a frozen lake. I got to sip wine by our neighbors' fireplace. I also got inspired by my neighbors. They've done some amazing things to their house. It's so well thought out and put together. But, they didn't do it all at once. It came in bits and pieces.

Well, enough about me and my general sense of bliss. I've got to go get some work done or tomorrow I'll feel like a wreck.


Cheers!
mouse

Single Step mouse

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse just left for work. P is at school. Welcome to 2015.

I've got the house to myself to get done what I need to get done today. And, it feels great. Lots of things to do. I guess step 1 is getting mentally organized.

mouse's day, today:

1. laundry
2. eat breakfast
3. file state unemployment forms
4. look into Frog and Toad
5. clean up drop box
6. figure out plans for the weekend
7. eat lunch
8. sew on button on P's shirt
9. do something to make the house more like an airbnb
10. yearbook email
11. call my Dad
12. pick up P

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I'm off to do laundry.


Cheers!
mouse

Last Day of Winter Break

Dear Friends and Family,

It's the last day of winter break. Mr. mouse heads back to work today. P heads back to school tomorrow. And, then, I can catch up on Downton Abbey. Just kidding. Then, I can return to my routine. There's a lot of things I want to work on in 2014. I mean 2015.

I feel like my to do list is under control. So, I'll definitely work on keeping it under control. I feel like my budget is under control. So, I'll definitely work on keeping it under control. And, I'm excited about the progress I've made on the house the past four days. Under the aspiration of turning my house into a bed and breakfast, or really more an airbnb, I've been working on getting the place in order. Just to be clear, I don't ever intend on renting the place out, I'd just like for the place to be able to be rented out. Then, I feel like I'd enjoy it more. It'd be like getting to stay at someone else's place, only for free. It'd be an endless, free staycation. And, that, my friends, sounds marvelous.

There's a blog I read that always inspired me to work on the house. The writer had gone on hiatus for over a year and I despaired of ever seeing her posts again. Then, she wrote yesterday. And, I leaped to read her post. It turns out her mother has dementia and she's been battling cancer. Yes, while I've been going through what seemed like major events in my life - adjusting to my new role as entrepreneur, learning to live on one paycheck, getting over old work, enjoying my time with P, and trying to get life under control - she's been struggling with the very basic fight to live.

And, that's reminded me of a very important lesson. Life's too short to be unhappy. Yes, there's the need to defer rewards. Yes, there's the need to take care of the chores while enjoying the cheers. But, that doesn't mean you need to be unhappy. I feel like I spent a lot of last year unhappy. First, I was unhappy with both old work and with new work. Then, I was unhappy with my transition from old work. I was happy over the summer. But, then, I was unhappy again in the fall with new work and with life in general. I kept thinking happiness was an end goal, that once I whacked a certain number of moles back into their holes, I'd be happy. But, I don't think it works that way. Life's still going to feel like a game of whack a mole. But, happiness is learning to like playing whack a mole. The moles never stop popping up, so I've got to learn to be happy playing, not looking for a goal that I may never attain.

So, I guess my new year's resolution is to focus on being happy, truly happy, on the inside happy. I don't think people, in general, know when I'm unhappy. So, I don't think anyone will notice a difference. But, that's okay. The one person who will notice is me, and that's all that matters.

So, I'll continue to do the things I'm doing. But, I'll really focus on enjoying the journey instead of only focusing on the end result. Here's to a wonderful 2015.


Cheers!
mouse

2015: A New Year

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Thursday evening, January 1, 2015. The past year did go quickly. And, after a quick trip home to see the grandparents, it's nice to be back home and beginning a new year. We're still on a budget. And, the house is still a mess. And, I still need to get back in shape. But, somehow, I'm still happy today. I know things will get hectic once P's back in school next week. But, for now, I'm blissfully enjoying the low key days at home for winter break.

I have been trying to get the house back in order. Whenever we travel, I realize how happy we can be with what little we packed into our suitcase. Then, I come home with a little motivation to get the house in order. I know this is an odd goal, but I'd love my house to be like a bed and breakfast and Mr. mouse and P and me the guest. It sounds sterile and not home like, but I think I'd enjoy it. I think we'll stop far short of a bed and breakfast, but it's a nice aspirational goal as I continue to try and get the house in order.

Today, I cleared off my nightstand. And, I made some progress in P's play area. The problem is we have so much stuff that does not have a home. And, I'm not sure it needs a home in our house. We have three bottles of foam glue from an art project at P's school. My initial inclination is to throw away the extra glue. We don't have foam at home we need to glue, so we don't need to find a home for foam glue. Mr. mouse will be appalled. He'll think it's a waste. This is where we end up with piles of things with no home. A bed and breakfast would not have three bottles of foam glue on a coffee table. This I know. I will try to continue to be motivated!

Well, I think Mr. mouse fell asleep with P. I'll probably head to bed soon myself.


Cheers!
mouse

Thinking Ahead to 2015

Dear Friends and Family,

I know. I know. We're not even through the holidays and I'm beginning to think ahead to the new year. But, I want to. So, I guess that's what I'll do.

I think I'm happy now. Well, I'm happier than I was in April when my job got eliminated. I think I'm done with old work. There's two friends I keep in touch with for lunch every so often. I don't miss anyone else. Everyone else I keep in touch with through other channels that seem like they're outside of old work.

I will be happier once we sort through all of the December bills. We've gotten lax on the budget because there's a lot of buying and returning that happens in December. We need to get through all of the returning in January and then see where we're at. I'm 99% certain we're okay. I just don't like not knowing the number. It's not a good habit.

So, January, we'll be back on a budget. Actually, when Mr. mouse gets home tonight we need to get back to tracking. There's some grey area in December, but that's no reason to throw in the towel on the rest of the month. And, I need to keep the grey area at bay for January with our big party. I'll just need to make sure Mr. mouse is good about giving me all of the receipts.

I think sometime in 2015 we'll be back to square one where we've paid off our loan to ourselves. Then, sometime in 2016 we'll be back to where we want to be where we have more money set aside for fun things. I think being on a budget for 2014, while painful, was good for us. No. I KNOW being on a budget for 2014, while painful, was good for us. I guess we'll continue for 2015.

I want to get my website up and running in 2015. I want a real email address. I was a real website. I think both of those things will be good things. That, and I want to get my workers compensation insurance straightened out. I need three years worth of experience to get lower rates. One down. Two to go. But, I need my finances to work with the current rates. I think I'll be able to once I adjust for a more accurate payroll forecast.

I want to either get the house in order or my health in order. I think inevitably the two are tied. But, both take time. I think I'll focus on my health for the first half of the year. Then, if I feel like I've figured out a routine then I can spend the second half of the year on the house. Can I live with the current disaster for six more months? I guess. I'd rather do that than over commit.

So, I guess my top three are:

1. continue plugging away at the budget
2. spend time growing the business, figuring out the website, insurance and year end filings
3. spend time on my health, check back in with myself in March to see how all of this is going

That's a good list. I feel better already.


Cheers!
mouse

Hump Day, 1:45pm

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Wednesday and not only am I alive, I'm feeling quite well.

Tomorrow, I've got a handful of gifts to wrap. I need to pick up one or two hostess gifts. I have expense reports that need to be filed. I have mail to go through. I have insurance to figure out. But, outside of that, I'm pretty much done for the week. I know, that list sounds daunting, but after what I've dragged myself through, it feels downright festive.

I'm off to pick up P and then we're headed to nap and swim. I might nap as well, we'll see. I feel like I've more than earned it ;)


Cheers!
mouse

12.15.14: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a very productive yet very enjoyable weekend. We went to two birthday parties and one Christmas party. We got new haircuts for P and me. Hers looks precious. Mine would look better if I lost some weight. We got our eyes examined. We went to the park. We finished our Christmas shopping, almost. And, I fell asleep on the couch to the smell of Christmas.

And, now, it's Monday. After two weeks of grinding away at our task list and at Mr. mouse over Christmas stuff, I'm beginning to feel more calm and collected. I feel like we've got time and space to breathe and relax.

It's a busy week this week, but I feel like we can get to done. Today, I need to go shower and then buy one last gift for Mr. mouse. Then, I think I'll pick up some wrapping paper on the way home and start wrapping P's presents. I'd love to get a couple under the tree before I pick her up from school.


Cheers!
mouse

mouse Falls Down the Rabbit Hole

Dear Friends and Family,

Wow. Has it really been close to a week? Well. I'm in a much better spot now than I was all week so perhaps it's a good thing.

We've had grey, cloudy, wet days for awhile now. And, with the shortened days, I was really challenged to try and keep my head on straight.

And, I had a disgustingly gruesome technology update project that involved me babysitting two computers for close to two weeks. That is done and was successful.

And, I had to bully Mr. mouse into completing Christmas cards. And, they have been mailed.

And, today, Mr. mouse and I are going Christmas shopping. That will be another major task crossed off of the list, if we can get it done between now and when we go to sleep tonight.

So, I'm in a better spot. And, we're grinding towards the end of the year. Tomorrow will be a throw away day. But, if I can get the presents done today, I'll be okay. Wish me luck!


Cheers!
mouse

Frustrated P

Dear Friends and Family,

P needs to learn the butterfly kick to advance to the next level. That's the only thing she has left to learn. And, she wants to learn in. But, it's hard.

Mr. mouse tried to teach her something or other in her bath. I watched and it didn't look right. Then, at swim yesterday, P tried to do what Mr. mouse taught her. But, it wasn't right. Then, she tried to combine what Mr. mouse told her to do with what her teacher told her to do. And, of course, it wasn't possible and it still wasn't right.

And, that's when she lost it and began crying during her swimming lesson. I needed to go in and help her calm down. I wonder if this might be the time to plunk down $60 for a month of private swim lessons so she can learn this one kick and move on. In a normal 30 minute lesson there just isn't enough time to learn the kick since they only spend 5 minutes on it per week.

I just know she was really upset yesterday, both at herself and at Mr. mouse, but mostly at herself. And, I wish there was something I could do to help. At a minimum, I guess I'll tell Mr. mouse to step back and not confuse her.


Cheers!
mouse

Too Much To Do for the Day

Dear Friends and Family,

P and I went to the museum yesterday afternoon. We looked at Christmas trees and we watched the museum workers repair the train display. We were only there for an hour, but we had lots of fun nonetheless. And as I was holding P, watching the trains, I realized she's growing up so quickly and moments like these are so precious. My sweetest P is already racing towards six.

As an added bonus, on the way home, we saw one of the holiday buses.

Today, I'm going to try and get through several to dos. Tomorrow promises to be a busy day. And, Friday, I'm at school again for lunch and library help. So, today is my last day to plow through some things on my list.

Wish me luck.


Cheers!
mouse

mouse and Christmas Cards

Dear Friends and Family,

It's December 2nd and I think I'd like to try and get Christmas cards done soon. If we can mail them by Saturday I'll consider it a success. I'll work on my business cards today and have Mr. mouse buy stamps for our personal cards as well. That'll be a good accomplishment for the day.


Cheers!
mouse

12.01.14: Monday after Thanksgiving

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Monday and after five days off I'm a little behind in getting back in the swing of things. In other words, it's 10am and I am still in my pajamas and reading my to do list for the day. That's okay. The house is pretty much back in order and the fridge is sadly under control. So, I'll eat breakfast and try and get on with my day. I'm super excited because I have a plan for our Christmas cards. I just need to bully Mr. mouse into agreeing with me.


Cheers!
mouse

Thanksgiving 2014

Dear Friends and Family,

After four days, I have my computer back. For that I am very thankful. We have one hard drive copy of our NAS in windows format. The number of files and the number of bytes matches perfectly. There are apparently a couple of additional empty hidden folders somewhere on Mr. mouse's desktop. I am okay with that. I recall that being a problem I attempted to resolve in the past to no avail. I got the files to match. I'm happy. I'm more than happy. I am ecstatic.

While I was offline, we had friends visit from Seattle. We went to the science museum. We ate lots. We played Cards Against Humanity. We played arcade games. And, P's rocket got a major update. It went so quickly, but it was so much fun being able to spend the holidays with friends. P loves playing with the kids. And, for us, there's nothing better than having people to share Thanksgiving with.

And, now, it's Saturday and it's just the three of us for the next two days. We'll spend a little time getting the house back in order. We'll finish backing up the hard drive. We need two copies before resetting the NAS. We'll reset the NAS. We'll get our Christmas tree. We'll order our Christmas cards. And, we'll see where November lands budget-wise.

Oh. What am I thankful for? Well, I'm thankful for a lot of things. But, if I were going to pick three things that I'm most thankful for, I'm thankful to be done with old work. I love not driving to old work. I love not dealing with the toxic people at old work. I love having time to spend with P in the afternoons and on the weekends. I love not having to squeeze in twenty hours doing "part time" work in the evenings. I love having time to tackle everything on our list so our life feels sane. I am thankful that I've worked through most of the emotions involved in my departure. I am thankful we've worked through our budget so that the transition to one paying job feels complete. #1: I am thankful to be done with old work. I am thankful for my new work. I am thankful for the time that I have now. I am thankful for the sanity I have now. I am thankful for the support everyone has provided for me in my transition.

I am thankful for P and her school and her friends and the community we have built in the last year. We're happy with the progress P is making academically. We're happy P has made friends. We love all of the parents we've met. It was a big transition from old school to new school. I'm thankful that it's gone well. There may be some point in the future where P's needs change. But, for now, it's going well. #2: I am thankful P likes school. I'm thankful P has good friends. I'm thankful we've made friends with several of the parents.

I am thankful for health and happiness. This includes Mr. mouse, P, my family, and my friends. #3: I am thankful that my loved ones are, in general, happy and healthy.


Cheers!
mouse

Short Week, Day 2 of 2

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday and I have about four hours until pick up. It's a short week and I'm okay with it. I got a lot done yesterday. Today's agenda?

1. backup NAS to prepare for factory reset (in progress)
2. ***eat breakfast***
3. 10:30am meeting with former colleague and friend
4. pick up holiday cards for work
5. pick up employee gift for work
6. eat lunch
7. pick up P
8. throw out leftover milk at school
9. make sure P has her snow pants and sneakers for the long weekend
10. enjoy the afternoon with P
11. plan out cooking for Thanksgiving
12. 11:56pm pick up friends at airport

I love days like today.


Cheers!
mouse

11.24.14: Quiet Weekend, Short Week

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Monday and it's Thanksgiving week. We had a quiet weekend which is always nice. Saturday, I went to a friend's house to make soap. Mr. mouse and P went shopping.

Sunday, we went to church. Then, Mr. mouse went shopping with a friend while P and I went to a birthday party. P had fun running around with the girls and I always enjoy a nice chance to catch up with the other parents.

Now, it's Monday and I'd like to try and stay on top of the week. Lots of little things to do. Let's see...

1. empty dishwasher
2. get ready for day
3. ***eat breakfast***
4. do invoicing
5. work through pile on kitchen counter
6. catch up on emails
7. back up hard drive
8. pack for dance
9. eat lunch
10. pick up P
11. drop off maracons and book
12. dance class
13. work on math problems with P
14. feed P dinner
15. bathe P
16. put P to bed
17. capture expenses for the day
18. figure out what to do with the extra $200 that Mr. mouse earned

Lots of odds and ends. We'll see how far I get on the list.


Cheers!
mouse

The Role of School vs. The Role of Parents

Dear Friends and Family,

P goes to private school so we pay tuition. If P went to public school, it'd be free since it's public school and public schools are free.

This post isn't about P's school in particular but more about schools in general both public and private. The curriculum may be different, the teacher-student ratios may be different, but overall, I think schools are schools and home is home unless you home school, but that's not within scope of this post.

I think it comes down to two things. The first is comparative advantage. We should each focus on what we do better than the other. After all, it's not practical for me to try to teach P hip hop. She takes a class for hip hop. Her hip hop teacher knows hip hop, I do not. Therefore, by definition, he's got the comparative advantage. Therefore, lessons make sense. Another example would be swimming. I know how to swim. I think I could teach P how to swim. But, P takes swim classes because her teacher has the advantage of being trained in teaching swimming. He gets more done in 30 minutes with P than I would in 30 minutes with P. With me?

The second is goal alignment. In a perfect roles the goals of the schools and the goals of the parents would be perfectly aligned, but in reality they are not. Ultimately, parents are selfish. They want to optimize around their kid. Schools optimize for the group. They can't optimize for the individual participant. Going back to swimming, P needs to practice her breaststroke kick and her butterfly kick. I would love it if her teacher spent all of his time on just that. But, he doesn't because other students need to practice other things to. So, she spends part of her 30 minutes on freestyle and on backstroke and on other parts of learning to swim. This is where family swim comes in. While we are not better than her teachers in teaching swimming, P does benefit from family swim because she can spend an hour doing just her kicks which would not be possible in a group setting. Our goal is to make P a better swimmer so we optimize our time outside of classes on what P needs. Still with me?

Okay. Then, back to school and parents.

Let's start with an obvious place where schools have an inherent comparative advantage - the number of kids interacting with each other. Every day when P goes to school she is placed in an environment with other kids. I don't think that's shocking. It's more kids from a wider background for a longer period of time than I would ever be able to manufacture in our home. School's got me beat so let's take advantage of the comparative advantage.

At school P will meet kids she wouldn't meet at home. There are some kids we see regularly because P's friends with them and we're friends with the parents. There are some kids we never see outside of school. I think that's realistic. You don't go through life only interacting with close friends. So one potential role of school is it can expose P to lots of people and teach her that she's got to learn to function within a group of people where not everyone is a close friend, some people are friends, some people are acquaintances, some people are just people you have to be with even if you don't like them. You have to find a way to make it work out because life is like that. In this role, I think the schools goals and ours are aligned. Perfect.

At school P is with her teachers. Mr. mouse and I are not there. There are more children in the room than adults. That means, compared to home, you're resource constrained which doesn't sound like a comparative advantage at all. Except it is, if you're trying to teach your child independence. At home, P knows there are two adults and one child. As long as she's patient, we can get to anything that she needs help with. In a way, this limits her independence. At school, P knows there are three adults and twenty children. Realistically, the teachers can't step in on every situation. There's not enough hours in the day. So, children have to learn some level of independence. The teachers are there as an escalation point, but they begin trying to figure it out on their own. They begin trying to resolve conflict on their own. The begin trying to negotiate solutions on their own. So another potential role of school is it can teach P to independently resolve conflict. In this role, I think the schools goals and ours are aligned. Excellent.

At school, conflicts will come up. It hasn't yet. But, I'd be an idiot if I didn't think it wouldn't at some point. P's not going to go through 12-18 more years of school without encountering some conflict somewhere. I think that's the point where things begin to get more complicated. The right answer may not be obvious or may not even exist. Opinion comes into play and it's not clear either party has a comparative advantage. And, goals, well, there's bound to be misalignment of goals. If it's between P and the school, we will want what's best for P and the school will want what's best for school. If it's between P and another student, we will want what's best for P, the other parents will want what's best for their child, and the school will want what's best for the group which may not be either what's best for P or what's best for the other child. I think in those situations, we need to advocate for P, but the school needs to advocate for the school, and well, I'm assuming the other parents will advocate for their child.

I'm not sure what happens in those situations. I guess in those situations the school will do what's best for the school and we will need to decide if that's something we can live with or if we can't live with it what our next best option is because our role as parents will be to optimize for P.

I'm not sure this was helpful to anyone, but it was helpful to me. Happy Thursday!


Cheers!
mouse

Task Crossed Off List

Dear Friends and Family,

It looked like a luxuriously slow day so I decided to tackle a monster task of dating 130 photos from 2010 and 2011. Check. Then, I decided to update the firmware on our NAS. In progress. And, now, I've realized I didn't really get done the things I needed to get done. So, I'll run payroll later tonight. I'll write an email recap later tonight. And, I'll go eat breakfast now. I think that gets me caught up with today.

Fingers crossed my NAS boots up okay after the firmware update. We started the process at 12:30. I rebooted it at about 1 o'clock. It's going through a file system check. It's 4% done. 4% every 30 minutes means... a little over 12 hours to complete the file system check? Wow. Perhaps I should have done payroll before I updated the NAS firmware. Fingers crossed it's not much more than 12 hours to complete.


Cheers!
mouse

11.17.14: Concentrating on Walking

Dear Friends and Family,

I've learned that when I'm walking I need to focus on walking. I shouldn't be thinking about things I need to get done or things I've gotten done or decisions I need to make or decisions I've made or anything, really, because when I do, that's when I sprain my ankle like I did on Friday. And, spraining my ankle puts a big damper on everything because everything is more difficult when you're less mobile.

Focus on walking, mouse.

The weekend? Well, like last weekend we played at home. I'm not sure this is something I want to become a long term trend, but for a couple of weekends it's a good way for P to play with the toys we have at home and for us to spend time interacting with her. It's also a good way to save money. We're getting ready for the holidays.

P's been building like mad with her Legos. She's great at following all of the instructions which come with a set. But, for P, that's only the starting point. Then she builds on top of the set with random pieces we have lying around. It's the best of both worlds, being able to follow directions and being able to use creativity. It's fun having time to do this. I'm glad we were able to foster a love of play in P.

And our budget? We're right where we need to be heading into the second half of November. We've got $13 for the day which includes some coffee concoction when I meet some parents tonight to discuss the year book and one $3 bus ride to drop off P this morning and maybe a treat for P. Assuming Mr. mouse packs lunch, we'll be fine for the day. In a prior world, I would have been appalled at $13 but that's what budgeting has taught us. In a prior world, we could have easily spent more than $13 for the day. Let's see: $2 treat for P, $3 bus ride, $10 lunch for me, $10 lunch for Mr. mouse, $3 in snacks for Mr. mouse, $5 at Starbucks, $12 parking, $45 total for the day. And, we wouldn't have thought twice about it. I'm glad we're on a budget. It's been a valuable lesson.

Today's shaping up to be a good day. I already checked on our library books and submitted P's application for Saturday school. I might actually try to tackle parts of the house today.

1. pack school bag
2. drop off P
3. get ready for day
4. make bed
5. ***eat breakfast***
6. clean up house, until 11:30am
7. eat lunch
8. pack dance bag
9. prepare for yearbook meeting
10. clear through emails as time allows, back to 3/30 if possible
11. pick up P
12. go to dance class
13. go to yearbook meeting
14. relax and enjoy the rest of the day

It feels good.


Cheers!
mouse

Busy, Busy Friday

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, I got enough done on my to do list to make the upcoming week feel doable. And, that my friends is saying a lot. So, I just need to keep on top of my things between now and Sunday.

But, it's still a busy day for mouse. That's okay. I'm okay with busy.

1. get ready for day
2. dress P for in school colors
3. ***eat breakfast***
4. drop off P
5. go to library, begin shelving books
6. go to yearbook training
7. return to library, finish shelving books
8. check P's school milk
9. help at lunch
10. come home
11. eat lunch
12. do taxes
13. catch up on emails, leave house by 3pm
14. pack Mom's Night supplies, budget: $20 for evening
15. drive to suburbs
16. enjoy the evening

So, if I get through the day the weekend looks great. Hooray for mouse.


Cheers!
mouse

Happy Family

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse is home this morning and it feels so good having help getting P ready for school. I have a doctor's appointment I need to get ready for in two minutes, so Mr. mouse has kid prep and drop off. And, I have the luxury of running some errands before tackling my day. My day, you say? It's a great day!

1. get ready for day
2. make bed
3. doctor's appointment
4. return boots
5. return birthday gift
6. ***eat breakfast***
7. invoicing
8. go through American Express bill
9. finish dating photos
10. eat lunch
11. pick up P
12. enjoy the afternoon

Hope your day is as happy as mine. Tomorrow is a killer day so I may as well enjoy today.


Cheers!
mouse

Happy Hump Day, mouse Catch Up Day

Dear Friends and Family,

Nope. I didn't get what I wanted to get done yesterday. And, I'm not surprised. That's okay. I still ate breakfast.

After breakfast I took on a large project of re-dating photos. We have photos from P's toddler year in school and the dates on them were clearly wrong so I began going through them as only an OCD mouse can and began correcting them. That in and of itself would have consumed my day.

But, then, I got a phone call from a friend from the seventh grade. I had a giant crush on him in the seventh grade. He's going through some really rough times. And he wanted to talk. So I listened. And before I knew it, it was time for pick up. I want to help, but I'm not sure what I can do.

In a way our worlds are so different. We talked about meeting for lunch over Christmas. He kept asking if Mr. mouse would mind. I can't imagine a world where Mr. mouse minds if I'm meeting a male friend for lunch. That's just not the world we live in. I have so many male friends. We do things together all of the time. Mr. mouse doesn't mind. And, if he does, that's his problem, not mine. But, he doesn't mind so it's not an issue. That's just the world we live in. Mr. mouse is my life partner not my jail warden.

I want to help, but I'm not sure he wants my help. Perhaps all he needs is someone to listen.

So, it's Wednesday and it's mouse catch up day.

1. pack P's school bag
2. wake P
3. dress P
4. feed P breakfast
5. get ready for day
6. brush P's teeth
7. take P to school
8. come home
9. ***eat breakfast***
10. pack P's swim bag
11. pack my bag
12. catch up on emails
13. work on photo project until 10am
14. get gas, budget: $40
15. get mail
16. meet dear friend E for lunch, budget: $18
17. pick P up from school
18. call my mom
19. take P to swim class
20. catch up on facebook if P naps
21. catch up on reading if P naps
22. feed P dinner
23. bathe P
24. read to P
25. put P to bed
26. recap budget from day
27. go to sleep

If I can finish the photo project today I'll be happy. I've finished most of the easy to dos on my list. I'm getting to the ones that take time and each one is an investment. It's okay. It's worth it. Sooner or later I'll tame my list again.


Cheers!
mouse

Rainy Day Blues

Dear Friends and Family,

Not only is it getting cold tonight, but it's grey and rainy today. That combined with daylight savings changes means I need to begin turning on my SAD radar - more lights on in the house, more looking out the window on the bus, more consciously enjoying the sunshine when I can find it. I do okay once I realize what's going on. And, I've been trying to enjoy every ounce of fall before winter sets in. I'll make it. I always do.

Today? Well, it's not a glamorous day. But, I'm glad I've been plowing through the to do tasks.

1. ***eat breakfast***
2. go through work mail
3. go through emails
4. work on photo dating
5. order acrylic holders
6. eat lunch
7. get motivated to do stuff around the house
8. pick up P
9. enjoy the afternoon
10. eat dinner
11. have cupcakes
12. enjoy the evening
13. measure P
14. read with P
15. go to bed

It'll be fun.


Cheers!
mouse

11.10.14: Birthday Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

It was Mr. mouse's birthday this past weekend. And, as a special treat, we took him out to celebrate. It was also P's half birthday and we were celebrating a new job for a close friend. So, lots of happiness in the air.

What else did we do over the weekend? P had class Saturday morning. We took fall pictures Saturday afternoon. The whole family napped. Then, we went to family swim Saturday night. P got some good time in the pool working on her breaststroke kick.

Sunday, we had church followed by lunch. Then, I took our friend eyeglass shopping and for a haircut. We ate cupcakes. We ate dinner. We folded laundry. It was time for bed. And, that was our weekend.

My day today? Why I'm glad you asked!

1. get ready for day
2. make bed
3. ***eat breakfast***
4. reconcile quick books
5. go to bank
6. buy birthday present
7. check soap ingredients
8. eat lunch
9. pack dance bag
10. clean up house, as time allows
11. pick up P
12. go to dance class
13. enjoy the rest of the day

Not as hectic as last week. And, for that, I am grateful.


Cheers!
mouse

Semi-Successful Day Yesterday

Dear Friends and Family,

I was cruising on my to do list until I hit a pothole. I ended up in an hour long discussion with my employee about a client and I didn't get anything done after that until I had pick up. I had planned on working on the photos. Then, I forgot my reading material so I couldn't do that either. But, on a positive note, Mr. mouse's dinner got cancelled so my evening was a lot easier than I originally anticipated.

Today? Well.

1. start water for coffee
2. complete expense reports
3. reconcile checks
4. get ready for day
5. ***eat breakfast***
6. 9am client visit
7. come up with plans for tomorrow's play date
8. come up with questions for the teacher conference
9. send photo book email
10. send two referral emails
11. upload weekend photos
12. upload Halloween photos
13. eat lunch
14. write one new client email
15. pick up groceries: dinner and milk
16. catch up on emails in general
17. 3:15pm teacher conference
18. pick up P
19. go to book fair with P

Not as long a list as yesterday, but each task on this list takes longer. On the other hand, I shouldn't have as many distractions today.


Cheers!
mouse

Another Day in the Life of Mouse

Dear Friends and Family,

It was super productive having my list yesterday so I think I'll make another one for today which promises to be a monster of a day.

1. get ready for day
2. write housekeeper
3. pick books for book drive
4. pack my bag (books, lunch, P's snacks, reading material)
5. pack P's school bag
6. pack P's swim bag
7. ***eat breakfast***
8. wake P
9. dress P
10. feed P breakfast
11. brush P's teeth
12. take P to school
13. drop off books at book drive
14. go to book fair, budget: $40
15. come home
16. get gas, budget: $35
17. get mail
18. come home, if time allows
19. eat lunch, now or when P is napping
20. pick P up from school
21. take P to swim class
22. catch up on facebook
23. catch up on reading
24. feed P dinner
25. bathe P
26. read to P
27. put P to bed
28. upload photos from weekend for friends
29. recap budget for day

Phew. That's my day today. Wish me luck!


Cheers!
mouse

Odds and Ends Day

Dear Friends and Family,

It's a day of odds and ends. Let me see if I can organize it into a plan of action. There's payroll, download voting research, vote, check credit card statement, eat breakfast, shower, pick up pumpkin, pick up milk, bring milk to school, return library book, delete photos from shared folder, write parents about Friday play date, post photos from play date, and dance registration. Okay. Now, let's try to organize this into a plan:

1. write parents about Friday play date
2. shower
3. ***eat breakfast***
4. delete photos from shared folder
5. post photos from play date
6. check credit card statement
7. run payroll
8. download voting research
9. call studio for dance registration
10. vote
11. return library book
12. pick up milk
13. eat lunch
14. fold laundry, as time allows
15. pick up P
16. bring milk to school
17. return library book - school library
18. pick up pumpkin

Yep. That's my day today.


Cheers!
mouse

11.03.14: 11:44am and Blogging

Dear Friends and Family,

I think I'm about 5 hours behind schedule. But, I'll manage for the day, I think.

We got in super late last night and then Mr. mouse and I took some time to get ourselves set up for the week before going to bed. So, I got up late and it cascaded from there. Still, I plan on eating breakfast at some point today since that's my one accomplishment for the day.

Why did we get in so late last night? Well, we were in Austin over the weekend at the F1 race. As usual, we had a great time catching up with friends in town. And, the weather for the race could not have been better. It's a quick trip, but one that I'm glad we made.


Cheers!
mouse

Breakfast Eating Mouse

Dear Friends and Family,

The furnace is broken, again. We need to get P ready for Halloween. We need to get ready for P's Halloween parade. Let Rome burn. I will eat breakfast this morning.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: If Mr. mouse does not get this furnace figured out I will have the grumpiest winter possible.

Who Am I?

Dear Friends and Family,

For years my work defined me. And, while not the healthiest, it's not uncommon among a certain subset of working women. And, now, sometimes I wonder who I am.

I was just thinking about my strengths... achiever, relator, ideation, strategy, activator... That's me.

I think I will focus on achiever and start with something really small. Breakfast. At 9am every day. That's enough time for me to get home from drop-off. It's enough time for me to wake up and get my rear in gear. Breakfast. That'll be my achievement for the day.

I'll try that for the month of November and see if I'm in a better place. I'll start more dishes spinning. But for now, that'll be my second dish. My first is my budget. My second is breakfast. Wish me luck.

Ready. Set. Go.


Cheers!
mouse

End of October Financials

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Wednesday and we have two more days to go until the end of the month. And, last night, Mr. mouse decided to go grocery shopping. Yep. So, we're punting on dry cleaning today, just as a matter of principle. I know. We sound destitute. But, we're not.

We still saved towards retirement this month. And we still saved money for school. We bought three new pairs of sneakers and renewed a museum membership.

I know where our biggest budget hole is. Each month I'm spending $400 on my new business. Without that we'd be fine. But with that each penny counts. Well, I guess for now I'll continue to spend the money and figure out a way to make it work.

I'm also hoping to reassess our tax withholding amount next year. I know we can reduce it since I'm not generating income at the moment, but I don't know how much I can reduce it by. So once we do our taxes, we can figure that out as well. That will be nice.

Well, I guess for now I'll continue with my one and only focus which is wrangling this budget into shape. I'll be happy once I can focus on other stuff as well.


Cheers!
mouse

10.28.14: Time to Step Back

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a fun weekend. Saturday, P went to class. We got haircuts. We went to a birthday party. Sunday, we went to church. We had lunch at home celebrating a friend's new job. We went on a play date with one of P's best friends. We blissfully enjoyed the amazing seventy degree weather Mother Nature provided.

And, now, it's Tuesday and I realize I need a new Top 3. There was a pile of stuff I wanted to accomplish when P went back to school. And, I haven't made a lot of progress on any of it. I think I need to figure out what I need to focus on.

#1: The Budget

We've made a lot of progress here. In fact, after much measuring, I'm comfortable adding $100 a month to our budget. November and December won't be easy with the holidays, but I'm eager to continue to try and make progress on this front.

#2: I Don't Know

This is the problem. Outside of my budget, I feel like I'm wandering aimlessly through the day until P comes home. I feel like I need more focus. Perhaps I'll go work on the kitchen until inspiration strikes.


Cheers!
mouse

Ambitious Week Update

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday. And, since we had swim on Wednesday, we get to come home after dance class. Woot!

I've continued to make progress, but I'm slowly petering out on my list. I want to try and get four to eight more things crossed off of my list, but I don't think that's realistic - four, maybe, but eight definitely not.

Mr. mouse and I can finalize a photo book. We have a free coupon that expires next Friday. That can be one.

I can check on soap ingredients. That can be two.

I can write an email I have been putting off. That can be three.

I can clear through my inbox. That can be four.

I don't think I can do much more beyond that. Even that looks ambitious for today. Sad but true since I only have one free hour today between drop off and pick up.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: I think I sprained my ankle on Wednesday, October 22. I know I sprained in sometime this week. October 22 is my best guess.

Ambitious Week

Dear Friends and Family,

After an abysmal week last week, I'm trying to make up lost ground this week. So far, I've gotten 8 things crossed off my to do list. I'm going to try for another 4 today. We'll continue plugging away at it and see how the week ends.

Today, I've got lunch with a girlfriend from old work. And, after school P has her new swim class. It's not the most convenient time. But, we'll have to figure out a way to make it work since she's graduated to a new level. Knowing our luck, this is the class she plateaus at and we need to figure out a way to make this time slot work. I'm okay with that. She's made such good progress until now. If she plateaus, she plateaus, and we'll figure out a way to make it work.

Today, we're going to try the snack and nap in car routine. We'll see if it sticks. Wish me luck.


Cheers!
mouse

10.20.14: Fall Play Time

Dear Friends and Family,

I'll focus on the positives because if I think through the negatives I'll probably get myself in trouble.

On the positives, we had a beautiful fall weekend.

Saturday, we took P to class. Then we spent the day building Legos and decorating P's pumpkin. She brought it into school today.

Sunday, we went to church. Then we spent the day outside with friends enjoying the harvest festival. P's favorite activity was making the scarecrow. Mine was seeing a bee hive.

And, now it's Monday. Another positive? After being on a budget since July, I decided to raise our funds going forward by $100 a month. I know $100 a month doesn't sounds like a lot, but it's the equivalent of a small splurge each month. Speaking of small splurges, Mr. mouse got P a doll for her doll yesterday. I don't think P's playing with dolls much anymore, but it's cute and P likes it so I'm not complaining.


Cheers!
mouse

Addictions and Habits and How They Work

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, but I think I'm not alone. I spend WAY too much unproductive time on the computer doing things that ultimately are a waste of time. I think I need to confine my time to the morning. Once my morning time is done, I need to walk away from my computer unless there's a specific purpose for being on it.

That means I can send an email to check on something, but I can't randomly checking Facebook or stocks. It means I can go through photos for a book I'm making but I can't read the news.

I think in a way it's easier to sometimes avoid the situation altogether than it is to limit consumption. I learned that lesson on Weight Watchers. It's easier to skip cake altogether than it is to have a bite and throw the rest away. I know other people learn the reverse lesson. It's easier for them to allow themselves the bite of cake. But, I've learned to recognize my addictions and skip them altogether.

So, for now I'm going to skip random time sinks on the computer by limiting my time on it to specific activities. I'll still get my free form time. But, after that time, it's time to move on. I think 8:30 seems like a reasonable time. Before 8:30 I can do whatever junk I want on the computer. After 8:30 I'm going to put the computer aside and focus.

I think I'll set up my phone to ring every day at 8:30 to remind me.


Cheers!
mouse

Day, Rearranged

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night P and I fell asleep at 8 o'clock together. Mr. mouse was on a trip and I had a busy day ahead of me on Thursday. I set the alarm clock for 4 o'clock and fell into a deep slumber snuggled next to P.

Then, at 1 o'clock in the morning I received a text. I vaguely ignored it and fell back into a doze. The phone buzzed again. I woke up. Now, normally, I don't sleep with the phone next to me. But, when Mr. mouse is traveling I use it as an alarm clock since I'm sleeping in P's room. I reached over to look at the next. It was Mr. mouse.

Back from dinner.

Yes. And, with those tragic words I found myself up. Instead of 8 hours of sleep, I lay in bed awake for 3 hours and find myself facing the day on 5 hours of sleep. Now, 5 hours of sleep from 11pm to 4am is hard, but 5 hours of sleep from 8pm to 1am is walking zombie mouse.

I couldn't have been more mad. This is the second time it's happened. And, I let Mr. mouse have an earful.

Now, I'm faced with some choices. Do I caffeine up and power through the day? Or do I plow through drop off and try to get some sleep? If it were any normal day the choice would be obvious. But, there's a coffee I'll need to bail on. And, there's no guarantee I'll get sleep because today is the day my housekeeper/personal assistant comes over.

Livid. How did I go from a promised night of 8 hours sleep to this? Yes, a text from Mr. mouse that stated, "back from dinner." That's how. In a former life, when Mr. mouse traveled, P and I slept on the airbed in my bedroom. The phone was downstairs. Mr. mouse could text at will and didn't need to worry about waking me.

But now that I sleep in P's room and the phone is inches from my head, texts from Mr. mouse have the potential to absolutely RUIN my night and the following day. Since it's happened twice now I've forbidden Mr. mouse to text me.

The twisted thing about all of this is if I had known I was going to skip the coffee and just try to plow through drop off, I would have tried to fall back asleep when 3 o'clock rolled around and I started getting tired again. But, since I thought I needed to get up and shower and get ready before drop off, I got out of bed.

Argh! There's no good answer. At least there's no good answer when you get woken up at 1 o'clock, roll in bed for 2 hours trying to fall back asleep and then morph into angry, tired, cold mouse. Hopefully the day turns around because it's not off to the best start.


Cheers!
mouse

Mom of the Year

Dear Friends and Family,

I'll confess. This morning I had sharp words for P. She took an hour to eat breakfast and as a result she was almost late for school. I had to prompt her for every bite with a "food in mouth" reminder. Then, when the food had been in her mouth long enough I had to prompt her with a "chew and swallow" followed by another "food in mouth" reminder.

There's nothing less fun than being a food coach in the morning to a kid who's lost all sense of time. Well, we missed every conceivable bus. And, when we got in the car, I gave her a piece of my mind.

Then, I realized, she'd be in school for the day with those heavy words weighing her down. So, I told her I was sorry and asked why she took so long to eat. I'm not sure I got a good answer, but we agreed tomorrow morning I'd wake her early so we didn't run into this problem again.

I think she was in better spirits by the time we got to school. Mom of the Year. Yep.


Cheers!
mouse

Productivity

Dear Friends and Family,

Oddly, I feel less productive now than when P was in camp. How is that possible when she's in school from 8 until 2:30 vs. when she was in camp from 9 until 11:30? Well, when you're kid's at camp for 2.5 hours, there's no procrastinating. You have 2-3 things on your list and you dive in and get them done before you race to pick them up. When you've got 6.5 hours, well, you can procrastinate.

And, that, my friends, is what happened this morning. So, time to get the rear in gear and get some stuff done.


Cheers!
mouse

10.13.14: 26.2 Miles, Minimal Preparation

Dear Friends and Family,

Saturday was a busy but typical fall day. P went to class. We met up with out of town friends for pizza. We went to the Botanic Garden to take fall pictures. We went shopping for sneakers. We bought a Halloween costume on eBay.

Sunday was a typical marathon Sunday for us. We got up early. We tagged our runners. We made our signs.

Except it wasn't a typical marathon Sunday at all... Because Mr. mouse decided Saturday night that he would attempt running the marathon. Yep. Armed with minimal preparation, brand new sneakers, an armband for his phone, and his Ventra card, Mr. mouse headed out Sunday morning to run his first marathon.

I wasn't at all sure how it would go. But, we saw him at mile 15 and he looked good. We saw him again at mile 19 and he was still hanging tough. That's when we realized there's a decent chance that he could finish it. And, he did. It took a little over six hours. But, considering he had done almost no preparation, it's still an achievement. His knee is a little sore this morning. Other than that, I guess it's a check mark on a bucket list.


Cheers!
mouse

Making Up for Friday

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Saturday morning, but since I didn't post on Friday, I'm making up for lost time here.

P's up and getting ready for class. Mr. mouse is peeling apples and packing her snack. And, I am having my tea as I contemplate our weekend.

I still have to cross off three things on our to do list. I'm torn. Here are my options:

1. catch up on emails
2. create photo book
3. videos from summer vacation
4. Halloween costume
5. fall pictures

So, I've got some options. We'll see what we get done today. Then I'll pick the most appetizing of some unappetizing tasks to finish out the week.


Cheers!
mouse

Stupid vs. Selfish

Dear Friends and Family,

I've been brewing on this for awhile now and sadly I'm beginning to form conclusions.

Over the past summer I've gotten more irritated with driving and traffic and things people do on the road that's bothersome or simply unsafe. And, I've wondered if it's simply stupidity that's driving the behavior or selfishness. In other words, are the people unaware that their behavior puts others in harm's way? Or are they fully aware and simply too selfish to care?

Stupidity is easy to solve, relatively. It's a matter of educating people. Then, the problem is solved. But, selfish, that's a much harder problem to solve. There's three ways that I can come up with. You either convince people to not be selfish, which I sadly don't think is possible in today's world. Or, you can set up the motivations so that selfishness pays off. But, that just makes people more selfish which at some point will create a total breakdown in society. Or, you punish the bejeezus out of selfish behavior so that selfish behavior doesn't pay off.

But, where does selfish behavior come from? I don't believe people are inherently selfish. I really don't.

On a societal level, historically, survival depended upon some amount of cooperation. A village can produce enough to survive. But, take the occupants of a village and ask them to survive independent of the village and they can't. Each person can't produce enough to survive on their own.

On an individual level, scientist's have done studies that shows babies are empathetic. They will try to help others when they perceive there is a need.

So, if selfishness is learned, where does it come from? Well, not to put it all on the parents, but I think that's where it starts. Then, it comes from friends. Then, it comes from society at large. And, finally, it comes from work. It's not like the FedEx driver double parks because they want to. It's because that's what they've been told to do.

So how do I raise P to not be selfish? Well, I suppose we need to not be selfish. We need to introduce her to friends who are not selfish. Then, when she gets older, we need to talk about society and selfishness. We need to let her know that there are selfish people in the world. We need to also show why we don't want to be selfish even if the short term gain seems to point towards being selfish. And, then, we need to foster enough confidence that she can walk away from bad behaviors and learn to be a generous person even if selfishness abounds about her.

Perhaps I'm being naive. But, I do believe the world is a better place when everyone's not out for themself.

The other thing is I think selfish people believe the world owes them something and they're just taking their due. And, I don't believe the world owes you a darn thing.


Cheers!
mouse