Productivity

Dear Friends and Family,

Oddly, I feel less productive now than when P was in camp. How is that possible when she's in school from 8 until 2:30 vs. when she was in camp from 9 until 11:30? Well, when you're kid's at camp for 2.5 hours, there's no procrastinating. You have 2-3 things on your list and you dive in and get them done before you race to pick them up. When you've got 6.5 hours, well, you can procrastinate.

And, that, my friends, is what happened this morning. So, time to get the rear in gear and get some stuff done.


Cheers!
mouse

10.13.14: 26.2 Miles, Minimal Preparation

Dear Friends and Family,

Saturday was a busy but typical fall day. P went to class. We met up with out of town friends for pizza. We went to the Botanic Garden to take fall pictures. We went shopping for sneakers. We bought a Halloween costume on eBay.

Sunday was a typical marathon Sunday for us. We got up early. We tagged our runners. We made our signs.

Except it wasn't a typical marathon Sunday at all... Because Mr. mouse decided Saturday night that he would attempt running the marathon. Yep. Armed with minimal preparation, brand new sneakers, an armband for his phone, and his Ventra card, Mr. mouse headed out Sunday morning to run his first marathon.

I wasn't at all sure how it would go. But, we saw him at mile 15 and he looked good. We saw him again at mile 19 and he was still hanging tough. That's when we realized there's a decent chance that he could finish it. And, he did. It took a little over six hours. But, considering he had done almost no preparation, it's still an achievement. His knee is a little sore this morning. Other than that, I guess it's a check mark on a bucket list.


Cheers!
mouse

Making Up for Friday

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Saturday morning, but since I didn't post on Friday, I'm making up for lost time here.

P's up and getting ready for class. Mr. mouse is peeling apples and packing her snack. And, I am having my tea as I contemplate our weekend.

I still have to cross off three things on our to do list. I'm torn. Here are my options:

1. catch up on emails
2. create photo book
3. videos from summer vacation
4. Halloween costume
5. fall pictures

So, I've got some options. We'll see what we get done today. Then I'll pick the most appetizing of some unappetizing tasks to finish out the week.


Cheers!
mouse

Stupid vs. Selfish

Dear Friends and Family,

I've been brewing on this for awhile now and sadly I'm beginning to form conclusions.

Over the past summer I've gotten more irritated with driving and traffic and things people do on the road that's bothersome or simply unsafe. And, I've wondered if it's simply stupidity that's driving the behavior or selfishness. In other words, are the people unaware that their behavior puts others in harm's way? Or are they fully aware and simply too selfish to care?

Stupidity is easy to solve, relatively. It's a matter of educating people. Then, the problem is solved. But, selfish, that's a much harder problem to solve. There's three ways that I can come up with. You either convince people to not be selfish, which I sadly don't think is possible in today's world. Or, you can set up the motivations so that selfishness pays off. But, that just makes people more selfish which at some point will create a total breakdown in society. Or, you punish the bejeezus out of selfish behavior so that selfish behavior doesn't pay off.

But, where does selfish behavior come from? I don't believe people are inherently selfish. I really don't.

On a societal level, historically, survival depended upon some amount of cooperation. A village can produce enough to survive. But, take the occupants of a village and ask them to survive independent of the village and they can't. Each person can't produce enough to survive on their own.

On an individual level, scientist's have done studies that shows babies are empathetic. They will try to help others when they perceive there is a need.

So, if selfishness is learned, where does it come from? Well, not to put it all on the parents, but I think that's where it starts. Then, it comes from friends. Then, it comes from society at large. And, finally, it comes from work. It's not like the FedEx driver double parks because they want to. It's because that's what they've been told to do.

So how do I raise P to not be selfish? Well, I suppose we need to not be selfish. We need to introduce her to friends who are not selfish. Then, when she gets older, we need to talk about society and selfishness. We need to let her know that there are selfish people in the world. We need to also show why we don't want to be selfish even if the short term gain seems to point towards being selfish. And, then, we need to foster enough confidence that she can walk away from bad behaviors and learn to be a generous person even if selfishness abounds about her.

Perhaps I'm being naive. But, I do believe the world is a better place when everyone's not out for themself.

The other thing is I think selfish people believe the world owes them something and they're just taking their due. And, I don't believe the world owes you a darn thing.


Cheers!
mouse

Hypothetical vs. Realistic

Dear Friends and Family,

I've noticed there's a selective phenomena to how my memory works.

Take hand holding, for instance. I love holding P's hand when we walk together. I love the feel of her little hand in mine. I love the bonding and the expression of love that holding hands means to me. There are times that P will walk next to me, holding me hand, and I treasure those moments. I wish I could capture each one of those moments in a bottle and keep it forever.

But...

For every time that we do walk together, hand in hand, down the street, there's at least four or five times that we "walk" together, hand-in-hand, down the street. Sometimes P is hopping, skipping, jumping, tugging, lollygagging, dancing, duck walking, tiptoeing... You name it, she'll do it. And, on those instances, my arm is being yanked every which way to Sunday. And, I know, while she's holding my hand, it's an automatic thing and her mind's elsewhere.

So, while, hypothetically, it's sweeter than sweet can be to hold hands and walk down the street together, realistically, it's not always as precious in the moment. It all depends, do you have walking P or bouncing P? Somehow, I always remember walking P and forget bouncing P.


Cheers!
mouse

Managing the Budget

Dear Friends and Family,

I keep telling myself that sooner or later I will not mind being on a budget. And, mostly, I don't. But, here's what I've learned for the day today. We went out to dinner last night with P's teachers from her old school. It was our turn to treat, so we did. As a result, today, we have $10 to spend in our petty cash fund. Since I don't have any anticipated expenses today, as long as Mr. mouse doesn't have any large expenses, we should be fine. Here's how the next seven days look.

• Tue: $10
• Wed: $40 including $30 for books for P
• Thu: $40 including $30 for a Halloween costume
• Fri: $10
• Sat and Sun: $286 including groceries for the week
• Mon: $210 including $200 for gas, electricity and water

I know, duller than dull can be, but, I'm not complaining. We spent our way into this, we can save our way out of it. I'm convinced.

Where's the light at the end of the tunnel? Well, either we'll continue to chip at it slow and steady which I'm prepared to do. Or, we can fall into money in the spring. Mr. mouse usually gets a bonus. That will make a dent in this. And, we should get an income tax refund since I haven't been working for two thirds of the year. That will make a dent in this. Or, we'll continue to chip at it slow and steady.

For now, it's just good to know we're making progress. Much as I gripe, it feels amazing, it really does.


Cheers!
mouse

10.06.14: Caught Up on Sleep

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm not sure where the weekend went. Let's see.

Saturday, we had a play date with one of P's friends from summer camp. She came over with her mom and dad and little sister. The girls disappeared upstairs to play and the parents hung out with us in the kitchen area. I guess they've reached that age where the parents don't need to monitor the situation. I guess it means they're growing up. I also think it makes the time feel like it's going faster. Because there are days where they're with you but not really interacting with you. So, while you still have 365 days in the year, your days together become fewer.

Saturday evening, we went to a birthday party. P had a lot of fun and asked at the end of it if she could get a scientist lab coat like the birthday girl did. I think that would involve having a birthday party at the venue and I'm not sure I'm willing to go there yet.

Sunday, I went to brunch with some friends I see once a quarter. Then, I slept the whole day away. P ate lunch. She went on a bike ride. She played with Legos while Mr. mouse went shopping. And, apparently, I slept through all of it. Somehow, after sleeping from 1 pm to 6 pm, I was still tired enough to fall back asleep at 11 pm. Huh. I guess I needed the sleep. But, I am a little sad I missed the play time with P.

Guess I'll need to make up for it this week.


Cheers!
mouse

Problems at School

Dear Friends and Family,

It was bound to happen. Sooner or later, we knew we'd have to work through problems at school.

Last year, Mr. mouse and P and I had to work through some issues that had to do with some boys coming over and knocking down P's towers. And, that was relatively straightforward and P handled it well.

This year, we've noticed P is branching out to play with more kids which we think is excellent. But it also means she's not as close to her BFF from last year which is the trade-off, I guess, for making more friends. Plus, there's less play time this year as the kids get more structure to their day. So, that alone would have decreased P's play time with her BFF. But, that's all fine and good. That would hardly constitute a problem by our standards.

The problem? One of the girls in P's class is very sensitive and a little bossy. And while P has been coping with it, it has been impacting her experience at school. While I feel for the girl and wish she was happy, I'm not willing to let it impact P. So, I've told P that if the girl is not being a good friend then P shouldn't feel obligated to play with her. I know, that would hardly constitute a problem in a lot of parent's books. But, I hold myself responsible for this one. The mom introduced herself to me and so P's relationship with the girl is a result of my friendship with the mom.

But, I've got my priorities straight. P comes first. And, if the situation with the girls is not a healthy one then I'm not going to encourage it going forward. If that means restricting the relationship to just the moms, I'm fine with that. And, if it means slowly drifting apart, I'm fine with that as well. It won't be anything melodramatic like in a soap opera. It'll just mean that P's calendar and mine will be less available, P's more so than mine. No fireworks. That's just not me.


Cheers!
mouse

09.29.14: Where Did September Go?

Dear Friends and Family,

It's September 29 which means we're now racing towards the end of the year with no brakes on the car. I've got so many things on my mind.

First, there's the budget. We've been on a budget since July and I'll be honest, although it feels good to know that we're not spending more than we've got, on a day to day basis it's the most god awful buzz kill ever. Fortunately, there's two days left to September before the accounting gods refill our petty cash kitty. So, we've got $16 to our name until then. I don't think we're living paycheck to paycheck since we put away money each month for P's school and for taxes and for future expenses. But, I can see how the stress of a budget can make people frazzled. After all, we know ours is only so serious. If we really need gas for the car or food on the table or money for medical expenses than the budget can go out the window. We're really trading off our leisure activities recognizing we can't go out to eat at the drop of a hat and recognizing we can't buy every cute outfit we see when P's drawers are overstuffed. Still, I'm so looking forward to October 1 when we reset our budget. $16 to cover the next two days. We have food in the fridge and gas in the car so we should be in good shape until then.

Next, there's the week ahead. I finally have time to myself. Yes, the week is still hectic, but outside of Friday I have the days to myself while P is in school. That's the most wonderful feeling in the world. I'll finally have time to spend on work and the house and my health and the to do list. If I don't make progress this week I need to revisit my plan because it means we're not set up for success.

Next, there's the weekend. We spent Saturday at home organizing the house and practicing handwriting which is good because P's handwriting had gotten atrocious and we didn't have that much money left in our budget. Sunday, we went to church, and then the park, and then a supermarket, and then a baseball game. P actually watched most of the game. It was a perfect summer weekend even if it was the last weekend in September.

Well, P just left so I need to get started on my day. Wish me luck.


Cheers!
mouse

A Day with My Big Kid

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday and P is back at school after a day off. We thoroughly enjoyed the day yesterday.

We ate breakfast, changed our clothes, brushed our teeth, packed our lunch and went out for the day.

We drove to the Nature Museum and found free parking right outside the door. We ate lunch right when we showed up because P said she was hungry. Then, P and I played a ton in the museum, first with the water exhibit learning how canals and dams work. We went to learn about butterflies and about nature habitats. And, we finished off the day playing with the water exhibit.

It was nice with all of the sun streaming in. And, the place wasn't crowded. And, P and I do enjoy our days alone together. I'm looking forward to winter vacation. Hopefully we have a couple of days together then.

We met Mr. mouse for dinner. And, P fell asleep holding my hand on the way home from dinner. Not every day with my big kid will be like yesterday. But, I'm thankful for the ones I get.


Cheers!
mouse

Looking Forward to a Day with My Big Kid

Dear Friends and Family,

P moved up in swim levels yesterday and I couldn't be prouder! She started swim lessons in May and moved up a level in July. So, I was anticipating 4-6 months at the second level before she was ready to move up to the third level. I thought she was doing well, but I knew parents can be biased towards their own kids. So, imagine my surprise when I saw an instructor come over to P's lane with a move-up card and a ribbon. At that point, I knew someone was moving up, I just didn't know who.

Then, P pointed to herself and spelled the word up. Hooray for P! Well, this next level is apparently the level where kids get stuck. It's the level where stamina and endurance come into play. We may sign P up for a second class each week to try and power through this level. We'll see.

Today, P's off from school. I'm looking forward to the day off with my big kid. It'll be like summer vacation again. I'm so excited.


Cheers!
mouse

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday. And, it's the last day of P's second full week in school. I feel like my game of whack-a-mole has gotten a little less frenetic with a light at the end of the tunnel.

If I haven't made a ton of progress on shrinking my to do list, at least it hasn't grown. If I haven't made a ton of progress on my idea, at least I've tread water and not lost ground.

And what does the next week hold for me? Monday, I have coffee with a Mom from P's school. She's in staffing and recruiting. So, while I'm not looking for a job, it's still a good idea to keep building my network. Tuesday, I have lunch with a colleague from old work who is helping me build out my idea. Wednesday, I'm at school all day for an all school meeting. Thursday, P doesn't have school. And, Friday, I've got the day free, but we have a birthday party in the evening.

I know. You're thinking, what light?

Well, the following week is much better. Monday, I may have lunch in the suburbs. Tuesday, Mr. mouse may have travel. Wednesday, I have a free day. Thursday, I have a site visit for work. Friday, I have lunch duty at school.

It still sounds like a busy week, but having a couple of days free is heaven compared to what I've been looking at the past two weeks.


Cheers!
mouse

Piper Time

Dear Friends and Family,

I've got a busy day ahead of me. I'm going to pick up mail. Then, I'll eat lunch. Then, I'm headed to the library for some quiet time to work on my business. I've been avoiding it for the past week, partly because I lined up a bunch of social engagements that I had put off and partly because I've got a big decision I need to make.

So, I'm headed to the library to work on my decision. Wish me luck.


Cheers!
mouse

Day to Myself

Dear Friends and Family,

Yeah!

A day to myself. P is in school. Mr. mouse is at work. I don't have any social obligations. I have the entire day to myself. I think there's a part of me that's a true introvert.


Cheers!
mouse

09.15.14: Apple Picking Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

The weekend... Well, I can't remember Saturday all that well. We had house cleaning in the morning, lunch, and then I napped while Mr. mouse and P went bike riding.

Sunday, was a most perfect day. We went to church and then we went apple picking. Several friends from P's school made the drive out to pick apples with us. It was warm, but not too warm, sunny, but with just enough cloud cover, and breezy without being windy. We picked apples, ate a picnic lunch, and then lounged on the grass while the children played. P had a meltdown near the end which I wish we could have avoided, but it wasn't enough to ruin my day. The kids found a frog and after many attempts they caught it and one of the boys kissed it.

There wasn't as many apples as last year. I think it had something to do with the brutal winter we had and the less than stellar summer. But, we bought plenty to munch on throughout the fall.

Now, I'm off to my day. I think I should take my contacts off. They're bothering me.


Cheers!
mouse

Little Things

Dear Friends and Family,

It was raining this morning and I needed to drop off some art work at school so I drove P to school. Of course, the traffic was horrible. Of course, the rain got heavier right when we were pulling into a parking spot. Of course, P was confused. Of course, P almost stepped into a puddle. Of course, I barked at her about the puddle. Of course, she dawdled. Of course, the wind picked up right when we turned the corner. Of course, this upset P more. Of course, she dawdled more. Of course, we finally made it to school.

Did it get better then? Of course not. She needed her umbrella tied. I told her to wait until we got upstairs since the entry way was crowded. She was building up steam. I was building up steam. We tied the umbrella. I wanted her to put the umbrella under her bag. She wanted to hang it on the hook. We argued. I laid down the ultimatum and gave her a toddler choice of put it where I tell you to put it or I'll take it with me back to the car. She got upset. I got upset. She started crying. I comforted her. She got clingy. I got annoyed. Finally, she was "late" to school and the teacher came out and got her. I think she realized something was up because another teacher saw P in the hall with me.

I delivered my art work and walked back to the car. I was still annoyed. Then, to cap it all off, I unlocked my door to get into the car, I went to close the umbrella... I accidentally locked the car door, the umbrella closed partway and reopened splashing me with water, the wind blew soaking me with more water, I unlocked the car door and threw the umbrella and my bag in, in my hurry to get in I must half only opened the door partway, because it swung shut as it sometimes does... on my foot, but not before one more gust of wind blew one more sheet of water on me.

Yep. That just happened.

The little thing? Oh, I found parking near school in all of this mayhem.


Cheers!
mouse

Whack A Mole Time

Dear Friends and Family,

It's my first week to myself and I have a very familiar feeling. It's whack a mole time. It's time to take care of all of the little things that I feel like I've put off forever.

And, because it's also the first week of school, dozens of new little things pile onto the list. I guess I can take comfort in knowing that eventually the tidal wave of moles subsides. But, for now, I'm armed with my hammer and I'll keep whacking away at all the little moles that keep popping up their little heads.


Cheers!
mouse

09.08.14: First Full Week at Home

Dear Friends and Family,

It was a perfect weekend, weather-wise. And, while we didn't do anything hugely exciting, we enjoyed the days with P. She went on a couple of bike rides. She went shopping with Mr. mouse at a craft fair. She played at a block party circus. Nothing hugely exciting, but we enjoyed it nonetheless.

And, now, it's my first week at home. I'm feeling good. I've got some clean up to do and some organizing to do. But, overall, it feels good.


Cheers!
mouse

Our Kindergartner

Dear P,

It's Friday and you're in school. I hope the day is going well and you are having fun and enjoying your first week of school.

I think, in a way, summer vacation is hard. Your entire life you were in school. You started when you were twelve weeks old. And, outside of a week-long vacations, you had a routine. Then, last year, you changed schools. And, it was a little scary for all of us. It was a new building, new rooms, new teachers, new kids, new activities, new food, new commute, new everything. But, over the year we all adjusted. You made new friends. You liked the bus. You became used to the food. And, we all felt good.

Then, came summer vacation. For the first time ever, you had weeks upon weeks off from school. Your father and I lined up all sorts of activities. We took a couple of trips. We spent time together. And, just when it seemed like summer would last forever, September came. And, with September, came the start of a new school year.

I think you were anxious and that's why you were up until midnight on Tuesday night. I think you were tired which is why you were a little grumpy on Wednesday. Thursday felt more routine. And, this morning, outside of a cold, you seemed back to your happy self. You're in kindergarten now. And, I'm realizing you are growing up.

Much as we were amused by the play based curriculum for last year, I already miss it for this year. I promise, we'll make time for play at home. I know you're growing up quickly, but I'd like to hang on to little kid you for just a little longer.


Love,
your mom

09.02.14: The Very Last Day of Summer Vacation

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday. We're back from vacation. And, it's our very last day of summer vacation.

It's been a great week. We spent a weekend back in our first work town visiting friends. It's been 20 years since that first summer in our first work town. It was fun driving along the same roads, remembering life in 1994 which does not seem all that long ago.

Then, we went on our end-of-summer vacation. This time, instead of going to a far flung location, we went to Seattle to visit a host of friends we have in the Pacific Northwest. We got to spend a lot of time with my cousin and my two year old nephew who is technically my first cousin once removed.

This was also a mile marker trip. A year ago, I quit old work only to be persuaded into staying on part time. While the money was good, I've realized many times over that I shouldn't have agreed to stay on part time. I didn't have enough time to do anything right, splitting my time three ways. And, ultimately, I spent a lot of time detoxing from what ultimately was a less that satisfactory transition from old work.

Still, in taking this trip, I realized two very important things. I only lost a year. I am, now, where I could have been last year. And, while a year lost is a year lost, I can take comfort in having lost only a year. I am so glad not to be splitting my time three ways going forward. And, the other thing I realized was that while there was a lot of toxicity related to old work, I still had a good year. P made new friends. I made new friends. And, we had a great summer together. There's so many happy memories. The year wasn't a total waste.

So, my friends, we're headed into our last day of summer vacation. P's bag is packed. We have orientation in an hour and half. Then, P and I have one last day together before we head off to kindergarten.


Cheers!
mouse