Sleep, Blessed Sleep

Dear Friends and Family,

I think I'm ready to sleep again.

Remember my grand social experiment? I'm sure you don't.

Once P started sleeping through her 10:30PM feeding session, I started pumping at 10:30 and skipping a pumping session at work. It worked like a charm from a work perspective, but wreaked a small bit of havoc from a sleep perspective.

On most normal nights, I fall asleep around 9:30. Mr. mouse wakes me somewhere between 10:30 and 11:30. I pump. I hydrate. I spend a bit of time chatting with Mr. mouse and getting back in sleep mode. I go to sleep somewhere between midnight and one. The alarm clock rings at four.

I've been winding down that last session. And, next week I'm slated to go down to six minutes. And, I think I'll start doing that at 9:30 and just going to sleep after that.


Cheers!
mouse

Remembering and Catching Up

Dear Friends and Family,

Ah, time to catch up from our trip in April. The one that landed us at the hospital on the way back. I'll see how far I get and I'll pick up where I leave off another time.

Here's my scribble scratch:

• poopy diaper
• pulling out wipes
• no interest in older toys
• new sitting positions
• waking by self
• smile when milk time
• sand :(, ocean :(, nap :)
• sunset
• stranger anxiety

and more notes:

• stand
• buoyancy
• cut on face
• loss of binky
• giddiest with us

Wow, that's a lot to cover.

poopy diaper: We were in the hotel room and I thought I smelled one. I walked over to P to take a peek. Usually it's a false alarm and I get to peek at cute baby butt. But, this time it was filled and brimming and threatening imminent disaster. Mr. mouse came over and we diagnosed our options in averting such said disaster. We twisted and turned and assessed and ultimated kept her standing while we cleaned her up. Disaster averted. P looked at us kinda funny like she was trying to figure out why we didn't do the usual routine. That only made the whole incident that much funnier.

pulling out wipes: While we were packing, we left P to play with her toys. She discovered her wipes and figured out how to open the pack. She pulled out a bunch of wipes one at a time. She hadn't ever done that before nor has she done it since. It was just a classic parent moment - baby surrounded by wipes, patiently pulling out the next one, a look of cause and effect on her face as she goes. We laughed some more and put the wipes back in.

no interest in older toys: P's lost interest in her six month toys - mostly rattles with no sound, just bright colors to look at. Guess it's time for us to pack them away to make room for new toys.

new sitting positions: P was a butt on floor, legs in front of her baby. Now, she's got a ton of random positions with her legs tucked under her bent back at the knees, on one knee with the other leg half up to get into a standing position more easily, with both legs bent and her butt floating like an old Asian grandmother... wherever her legs happen to be is fine with her now.

waking by self: I'm drawing a blank. There are times when P can wake now without necessarily crying. This is what I must have been referring to. I'm not 100% sure.

Okay. Five down, many more to go. Will write more later. Should go shower and get ready for work.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: P hasn't had her pacifier for two days now. I kind of miss her happy pacifier face and the cute way she eagerly grabbed for it, orienting it before putting in her mouth, taking a couple of quick drags, and then resuming whatever it was she was doing before. I'd love to give it back just to see the face, but I'm resisting. One of us has to be an adult in this relationship and I guess for now that's my job.

More Toddler Tricks

Dear Friends and Family,

Wow, I'm glad I took my work trip last week instead of this week. P's been busy doing new things this week and I can hardly keep on top of it all.

There's phone. This weekend, P was playing with the phone pretending she was making a phone call. Then, she was playing with the remote pretending she was making a phone call. Then, she was playing with a block pretending she was making a phone call. Then, she was playing with another hard toy (it might have been a lion or a toy golf ball) pretending she was making a phone call. Then, she was playing with a napkin pretending she was making a phone call. It was too funny and too cute.

Then, there's no. She's begun shaking her head no when she doesn't want something. Tuesday morning, when Mr. mouse had her packed in her safety pod (aka the car seat), he offered her a toy. Previously she took whatever we offered. But, yesterday she was like a prima donna pitcher, shaking her head no before finally settling on a toy she'd accept.

Then, we've had the binky progression. She got through her nap at school without one. We skipped one for the ride home. And, she went to bed last night without it. I sang to her and tapped her on her back instead. I'll pack one for school today, but hopefully she can nap without it. We'll see.

And, last but not least, she's learned pack bag. Last night for play we put all her toys and whatever other miscellaneous objects were lying around into a small bag. Then we dumped it all out and did it all over again.

It's been a busy couple of days with our P. Her brain is like a sponge, taking it all in and processing it all and reinterpreting it and translating it and then trying it all out on her own.


Cheers!
mouse

One Small Step...

Dear Friends and Family,

P had a busy day yesterday.

She practiced with a cup (by herself) at school.

She put two and two together during bath time when she was playing with a cup in her bath and decided she was thirsty and went for a drink (no worries, we didn't let her drink the bath water).

She splashed and splashed and splashed some more.

She started peeing while I was toweling her off, looked down at her leg to check out why it felt warm, figured it out, finished peeing anyway.

And, drum roll please, after we finished packing her bag at school, she took a couple of steps before stumbling into my arms.

We practiced walking in her room before trying to put her to bed, so that Mr. mouse could see P in action.

And, last but not least, she learned that if she cried long enough, Mr. mouse will pick her up, bring her downstairs, and give her an evening snack. Beh and P had pasta and applesauce while I napped last night.

Like I said, P had a busy day yesterday.


Cheers!
mouse

05.24.10: Clearing Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

There are those who think clear desk, empty mind... or something along those minds. I'm the opposite, a clear desk (and clear inbox) allows a clear mind because I'm not focused on the million and one little gotchas. I can focus on the big rocks that drive my business.

And, the same goes for home. For me, there's NOTHING better than a clean house. And, Mr. mouse, wonderful spouse that he is, bought me housecleaning service for my Mother's Day gift. That means I have every motivation to get organized (since it's tough for cleaners to clean around the clutter) and once I'm organized I stay organized (how disorganized can you get in two weeks?) and once I'm organized I'm done (because someone else will do the cleaning). We had cleaners at the mouse Winter Cabin and I loved it. Can you tell I'm a big fan?

Well, we had the first cleaning this past Saturday and it feels wonderful. There's still more organizing to do on our side, and some optimizing on their side, but, it feels wonderful. On the financing side, I've decided to kick in for the present. I'm cancelling my defunct gym membership and my caffeine addicted coffee habit and that'll leave us close to cash neutral on the cleaning. Sad, but true.

Sunday, we went for ramen brunch. And, we gorged on Japanese noodle. So yummy.

P has been busy with two new developments. This week we noticed a fifth tooth (aka chomper) coming in. Upper right, next to her big tooth. And, she's been practicing giving kisses. Granted they're huge, slobbering kisses, but they're precious nonetheless.


Cheers!
mouse

The Trip Out

Dear Friends and Family,

Silly me. Did I really think I would spend today ranting and raving when I have so much more to write about?

I'm on my first trip without P.

I flew out last night after dinner. I'm here today and half of tomorrow. I fly back in time to see P before she goes to bed on Wednesday, assuming my flight lands on time.

Mr. mouse met P and me at the airport last night. We had dinner. Then, we walked to the gate together. P was getting tired so I offered to have Mr. mouse drive her home rather than wait the last 15 minutes with me at the gate. So, I got to watch them walking through the terminal before boarding.

Mr. mouse was walking. And, P was looking over his shoulder. She was so small, but with two giant eyes staring back at me. And, they both got smaller and smaller until my view was blocked intermittently, and then they turned the corner and left. And, I was all alone to board the plane.

Landed okay. Got the car okay. Got to the hotel okay. Checked in okay. Pumped okay. Fell asleep, but slept lightly. And, here I am.

The highlight of it all? Mr. mouse sent me two pictures of P for when I landed. It was so good to see her "real time."


Cheers!
mouse

05.17.10: Birthday Party Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

WARNING: I'm annoyed. If you're looking for shiny happy blog entry, I'd skip ahead to another blog or come back another day.

Okay. Let's start at the beginning.

My parents flew in on Friday for the weekend for P's birthday. They took a cab out to the office. We ate lunch together. I dropped them off to spend the afternoon with P.

My dad is on antibiotics for a cold (I know, that makes NO sense, but, that's what his doctor prescribed. That's what he's on). So, he shakes P's hand and then proceeds to spend the rest of the afternoon in the hallway so that he doesn't get anyone sick. Okay.

My mom is dying to spend quality time with P. She's frenetic in her desire to play with P. She's a little scary in her enthusiasm and P's having none of it. She proceeds to cry the afternoon away. And, we all know how P can cry - nonstop, for hours on end. And, she's convinced her BFFs to cry. So, there's three of them, in a circle, crying their lungs out, and my mom sitting in the corner. At which point, I decide to bag the afternoon and pick everyone up and head home.

We eat Italian for dinner because my dad wants lasagna. Then, my mom watches from the corner while P copes with the extra people in the house.

We make it through the evening in one piece.

Saturday. We wake somewhere between 7:30 and 8:30. Party is slated for 1:00. Ready? We come downstairs to find my dad on the couch. He's not feeling well. He wants to go home. He's ranting and raving he should have never come out in the first place except my mom made him. Ordinary people would be worried at this point because ordinary people don't know my dad. He's complaining that he can't breathe. We're like, seriously, you need us to drop everything and figure out a way to get you home? Cause, it's not like we has anything planned for this morning? Whatever.

We convince him to wait until my mom wakes up.

My mom sees right through him. But, she calls her friend who is a doctor to ask her to prescribe an inhalant for my dad. Coddle. Coddle. Coddle. So, now, Mr. mouse's top priority becomes finding a pharmacist and getting my dad's prescription filled when all he wants to do is get mail (thwarted Friday when I refused to be left alone another second with the circus). And, wouldn't you know it, in the interim while he's hunting down the prescription, there's an accident en route to the mailbox that makes a quick in and out a more significant to do. He's annoyed.

My mom figures she may as well make herself useful and begins cleaning and tidying. P decides to take a nap which is a lifesaver. I begin cleaning and tidying. My dad asks to borrow Mr. mouse's after shave. Mr. mouse doesn't use after shave. My dad is annoyed. He walks out in a huff to buy after shave. Whatever.

Everyone converges around 11. Mr. mouse is happy. My mom is happy. P is well rested and happy. My sister drove up and is happy. The house is ready. I am happy. My dad is fed. He is happy.

We have a wonderful party. Everyone shows up right at 1:00. My mom plays with every other baby in the house. We eat cupcakes, we play with toys, we laugh with parents. We distribute favors. Life is good.

We're all in wind down mode when my dad came up from the basement where he napped during the party. I don't know what his problem is. Actually, I can venture to guess at a macro level. But, I refuse to acknowledge the mean and petty and pathetic micro level specifics of a case by case incident. Well, he launches into my sister and me about we're not sensitive. We're not being nice to him. We're not sympathetic to his needs. Woe is me. My life is so difficult and no one has the courtesy to ask. This is the worst "hospitality" I've ever received ever. I've never felt less welcome anywhere.

Now, if I were 12 years old, I'd have run crying to my room. But, I'm like, what, almost 40? I'm ready to storm out, but then I remember, wait, I live here. I'm ready to kick him out, but then I figure that'll sour everyone's mood for the weekend and make it unredeemable. I swallow and listen and walk away. PISSED.

We all go out to dinner. My mom makes strides with P. We turn in for the night.

The next morning. It's the same old routine. He needs bread, he needs water, he needs butter. Can he do nothing? He launches into my sister and me again. This time while I'm holding P. Again, I refuse to even care what triggered this one. But, I'm clear with my mom and my sister. I'm done. I'll not have that language and that tone of voice in the house. I can blow it off. Mr. mouse will get annoyed, but he can blow it off. P can not. She'll learn stuff that I have no interest in her learning. MOMMA MOUSE IS MOVING TO PROTECT HER YOUNG. WORLD BEWARE.

My mom and my sister know where this is headed. They know when I've hit a breaking point. More importantly, my mom knows I will have no problem sharply curtailing or skipping holidays at home and keeping P here or hitting the road over the holidays. She knows I'm fine being selective in my invites. I'm explicit. If dad can't control his mouth, he has no business being in my house or anywhere near Pioneer forever.

My mom suggests getting bacon cause "your dad will like bacon" and eating in. So, my sister and Mr. mouse head out for bacon. We cook breakfast in. My mom heads to church. We head to the doctor's office for P's one year check up. My sister heads home. My dad stays home to rest and sulk.

We head out for the afternoon because it's a nice day out and we figure my dad will enjoy it. P warms to my mom. We make it through the evening in one piece. My mom and dad are headed home today. I am headed on my first business trip since P was born.

...

Okay. Grammar on this is a mess. I'll revisit tomorrow to fix it. And, I'll continue where I left off on where my head is at on all of this.


Cheers!
mouse

Managing the Afternoon

Dear Friends and Family,

Time to be a little selfish again.

I'm going to tackle the next two time blocks. I've allotted myself a "sensible" snack between 2 and 4. What's sensible? 2 Weight Watchers points (roughly 100 calories), real food only. And, then only 0 point drinks from 4 to 6. Which means I've got a plan for the afternoon. It feels good to be "in control" again. Why let peanut m&ms and animal crackers run your life?

Twenty Four Hours of Food

midnight to 2AM
2AM to 4AM
4AM to 6AM
6AM to 8AM
8AM to 10AM
10AM to noon
noon to 2PM		water zone
2PM to 4PM		sensible snack (2 points, real food only)
4PM to 6PM		0 point beverages only
6PM to 8PM
8PM to 10PM
10PM to midnight

Three down, nine to go.


Cheers!
mouse

May Our Former Owners Rot in Heck

Dear Friends and Family,

Make that four nights now that P's been up - either past her bed time or getting up in the middle of the night.

And, make it something like two weeks of bad dreams about work and life.

And, I wake to the joy of water coming in. Guess the caulking (which seemed to have done the job) wasn't the fix.

May our former owners rot in heck - not hell, which seems a bit much, even for lying on your disclosure form. But, Dilbert's heck seems like it's fair game.


Cheers!
mouse

Busy Birthday

Dear Friends and Family,

We had an action packed day yesterday.

P woke up. We fed her. We took her one year photos. We had breakfast pancakes. P played with her toys. P napped. We fed her leftover bouillabaisse. We opened presents. P learned to climb the stairs. We took more photos. We sang happy birthday and weighed P. We did hand and foot prints to compare against the ones from the hospital. We had cake. We went to the supermarket to pick up treats for school (they need to be commercially prepared with ingredients listed). We went to a restaurant by the hospital where we got take out from last year for dinner. We ate. We went to the hospital (where we got in when someone exited) and took some memorial shots. P fell asleep. We wrote our next letters to each other.

Then, apparently, while I slept. Mr. mouse and P mastered the travel cup, ate prunes and apple sauce, played, and then took a bath. Huh.

Needless to say, it was an amazing day. I'm glad we got to take the day off and spend it with P. Back to work. And, time to start planning the birthday party for this weekend.


Cheers!
mouse

05.11.10: One Year Ago Today

Dear Friends and Family,

P is having round III of breakfast. She had milk. Then, she had pancakes with the option of bananas and fish. Now she's having jar food and apple sauce with Mr. mouse.

A year ago today we were in the hospital napping, writing and playing Scrabble. I had already gotten my epidural and they had broken my water. I was scared that something could go wrong and worried that I would miss my little P once she was born.

So many times during the first year felt so perfect I wished I could freeze time at that moment forever. But, then, the future moments were so perfect I realized if I could have frozen time I'd have never seen the future moments. So, now, I'm okay with time passing and perfect moments being replaced by perfect moments - like last night, when P was practicing standing and was all grins as we cheered her on.

And, mouse, what about me?

I made it to the one year mark for breastfeeding. I'll be done with the daytime pumping later this week. Then, I'll be done with the evening pumping sometimes in June and can sleep through the night.

I still have about 20 pounds to lose which I can now get started on.

I had a lovely dinner Saturday night and Sunday night and pancake brunch Sunday afternoon with Mr. mouse and P for a wonderful Mother's Day weekend. And, to cap it off, Mr. mouse had a couple come to give a quote on housecleaning services - his Mother's Day gift to me.

Work is good. I'm enjoying the opportunity to do the work I do with people I enjoy working with. And, they pay me to boot.

All in all, I'm thankful for all that's been given to me and realize how fortunate I've been in being able to enjoy the past year.


Cheers!
mouse


PS: still looking for the scrap of paper from our Florida weekend to recount the details of that trip and our detour in Texas.

Crouching P, Sleeping Baby

Dear Friends and Family,

Ah, the frenzy to capture the minutiae of the first year before P turns one...

The sleep routine:

We let P play downstairs until she turns clumsy on us, starts rubbing her eyes, or literally lies down on the rug to go to sleep. Then, I pick her up and give her four kisses and a big hug. I hand her over to Mr. mouse who takes her upstairs. He changes her diaper and changes her into her pajamas. He reads her a book and then gives P her pacifier. He lays her in bed and if it's cold out covers her with a blanket. We say good night. We leave the room - dimmer light on, door closed.

Before we go to bed, we check in on her. Inevitably, she's moved to a new position on the mattress and she's crouched on her belly, elbows, arms, knees, legs all tucked in under her, butt in the air.

We watch her for a few minutes before leaving the door open and going to bed ourselves.


Cheers!
mouse

Notes on P

Dear Friends and Family,

P and I have the funniest routine each afternoon when I pick her up at school.

She sees me. She crawls to me with the biggest smile on her face. She climbs up and give me a huge hug. She climbs into my lap. She picks up my badge. She looks at the picture and says meh. Then, she looks at me and looks back at the picture. When she's done checking my id, she gives me a giant hug.

That is the best motivation to get work done and get over to see my P.


Cheers!
mouse

Milestones

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, I finally caught P standing on "film." And, for giggles, she decided to climb into her drawer at school when we were packing her bag. And, to top it off, to scale the bouncy chair that had been sitting neglected in her room.

And, on the other extreme, this morning, I got my first email ever from my Dad. He made a card for P for her birthday. So cute.


Cheers!
mouse

05.03.10: And Then We Played Some More

Dear Friends and Family,

In a twisted sort of way, with hindsight being 20/20 and since it seems like P's fine now, I'm glad we got to spend the extra time with P last weekend. With Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and part of Wednesday + Saturday and Sunday of this past weekend together, it's been almost a full week together, or at least it feels that way - time with our baby before she transitions to being a toddler.

And, during that time, we got to see lots of firsts, which I WILL document between now and her birthday - some big ones and some small ones. I'm glad we got to spend the time together and enjoy the bliss that has been our days for the past year before making the jump into year two. If you know me, you know I get sentimental around life stage changes.

This weekend?

Saturday, we slept in, we played, we cleaned up a little bit, we went for a walk to order P's birthday cake, play in the park, buy bread, and pick up lunch, and then we played some more.

Sunday, we slept in, we took photos, we played, I called my sister, we cleaned up a bit, we ordered cupcakes for P's birthday party, we went for a walk to eat brunch, and then we played some more.

And, that was it. After a flurry of travel (all of April if you think about it), we had a quiet weekend at home to kick off the month long celebration of P (almost all of May if you think about it).

And, my big goal this week is to stick to my commitment: noon to 2PM, water only.


Cheers!
mouse