11, I Define Me

Dear Friends and Family,

Oops. I forgot to hit the publish button yesterday. Sorry.

My day off yesterday was wonderful. I picked up a birthday gift for a friend. I picked up parking stickers. I ate dinner with P. And, I slept.

And, this morning, I had a chance to read the article instead of skimming it like I did yesterday. And, I'm feeling better.

Here's why I think I'm different. And, I know, everyone thinks they're unique. But, here's my thoughts.

1. My work doesn't define me. P does not define me. Mr. mouse does not define me.
   
   I define me.
   
   This is something I learned when I was in my early thirties at my last work. My self-worth and my self-confidence can't be defined my anyone but me. And, I alone define it.
2. The women in the article speak about shifting and sliding relationships with their spouse. I think it's different for Mr. mouse and me. We had 14 years together before P was born. Fourteen years during which we learned a lot about each other and dealt with our share of rough patches. I'm hopeful that those years make a difference. We're not a couple that met in our late-twenties/early-thirties dated for a couple of years, got married, had kids, and opted out. We're a couple that met while he was in business school, dated while I was in business school, got married, enjoyed a decade of marriage, had P, enjoyed four more years of being a family of three, and are now thinking about our next chapter in life.
3. Which brings me to my third observation. P is older than the infants defined in the article. She's four and starting full-time school. I'm not going to have some jarring moment when I transition from a full-time mom to a part-time mom with a kid in school. I don't think I'm a full-time mom.

I think I'm me. I'm retiring from work as I know it. I don't want a full-time job in a middle management position in a large corporation. After 15 years I'm done with that. I'm ready to retire. But, retirement for me never meant turning off my brain and golfing for the rest of my life. It just meant more flexibility to work on my own terms - perhaps something part time, or entrepreneurial, or something consulting based. It meant shifting in and out of work as I saw interesting things vs. getting up every morning for the rest of my life to continue doing more of what I'm doing now.

I'll still spend time with P. I want to. She's important. She's cool. She needs me. I love her. But, she doesn't define me. I'm looking forward to spending time with P, but I'm not retiring to be a full-time mom.

The house. A lot of the women seem to have a love/hate relationship with the house. I'm looking forward to housework. I benefit from a clean house more than Mr. mouse or P. I can't wait to go through the house and let me obsessive-compulsive side get a little obsessive-compulsive. And, no, I don't plan on doing the cleaning. We'll still keep our help for that, at least for now.

And, me. I'm very eager to spend some time on me. I want to get my health back. And, I'm excited about that.

So, after thinking and sleeping and rereading, I'm convinced I'm different. I hope I'm right.


Cheers!
mouse