Friday

Dear Friends and Family,

My apologies. It's been over a week. Mr. mouse has been traveling and that means I've been a little busier taking care of P. He's back later today and P is counting down the hours.

Me? I'm a little stunned that it's the end of January already. Seriously? But, I'm also very happy. My to do list is manageable. The house is manageable. The budget is manageable. The work is manageable. The year end forms are getting done. The website is getting started. And, it's so much better than it was last year in January when I was still working part-time at old work. I really should have quit in August when I quit and not stayed on part-time, but the money was nice so I'm not sure how to think of it all. I'm still coming to grips with it.

Plus, to add to my good mood, the winter has been milder than last winter. And, the days are getting longer. I'm doing well.


Cheers!
mouse

Feng Shui and the Home

Dear Friends and Family,

It's been cloudy and I've been mentally sorting through my head. Today, I've got help coming, but oddly enough I don't want to be home for it. I have a list for her to tackle, but I think I'll go out for a spell.

Why?

I casually invited my assistant over to my party this past weekend. And, she came. And, she got very drunk. And, she said a bunch of embarrassing things. Fortunately, it was late enough into the evening that it wasn't a big deal. But, it still wasn't cool. Her husband was there, but he didn't do much to alleviate the situation. I felt bad for him. Still, I wasn't sure what to expect. On Sunday, she thanked me for inviting her to the party. It was clear she didn't remember anything of the evening. Still, I'm not a good liar and I don't want any awkwardness so I think I'll just give us some space until we can talk about other things.

So, I'm off to shower and eat and "run some errands" for the day.


Cheers!
mouse

01.19.15: The Day After

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Monday and we're almost back to a normal schedule. P's off from school today and she wants to spend the day getting her world back in order. We moved a bunch of stuff around for the party. And, then we needed to rescue several toys when the kids got out of hand. And, I think the current disorder is getting to her. So, when I asked her what she wanted to do today, she said she wanted to spend the day with me at home getting her things organized. I can respect that and I'm more than happy to spend the day with her doing that.

Mr. mouse and I will have a lot to do over the next week getting the rest of the house back in one piece. But, I'm okay with that. We had a fabulous night. I was a little afraid at one point because the kids were getting a little crazy and I thought P would have a meltdown if anything got destroyed, but we made it through that part and were able to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Now, we just need to unwind and slowly put everything back together.


Cheers!
mouse

Spouses

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, I was watching a video from my mom's dance recital. She had been practicing for months and I thought she was beautiful.

Watching her dance, I began to wonder what she wanted from her marriage. I think she wants to feel loved and cherished and appreciated. I feel bad, because those aren't things my dad is especially good at. My dad? I don't know. On the surface, I think he wants a servant, someone to keep his house clean, cook his food, and fetch for him constantly. But, deeper down, I think he's looking for validation and self-worth. I think he's a got a lot of baggage, but no one can give him what he needs. That comes from within. I'm just not sure after all of these years that he'll find it in him.

Then, I realized how different my relationship is with Mr. mouse. I want to be loved and cherished and appreciated. But, just as important to me is to feel like I'm on my life's journey with my best friend. I want companionship. And, I feel like I have all of that and more with Mr. mouse. We enjoy spending time together.

This weekend we are celebrating, marking the weekend twenty years ago when we first spent a lot of time together. We had met briefly before that in random chance encounters, but this weekend is special for us.

Today, I'm feeling especially happy.


Cheers!
mouse

New Infrastructure

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night, we put in a new cable modem. And, while the cable company promised us all sorts of benefits associated with the new cable modem, I'm not sure we've seen any noticeable differences in our download and upload speeds. I am happy about one thing... Our new cable modem is a 2 in 1 cable modem and router. And, in the process of installing it, we also unplugged most of our devices and plugged them into our UPS. So, there's modest improvements in cord management. And, we have a guest network now that is separate from our main network. So, I guess I'm happy with the new arrangement. I guess we'll have to wait until we upgrade our computers to see any real difference in our internet performance.


Cheers!
mouse

Odds and Ends Day

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm going to be ambitious today and try to tackle a bunch of year end forms for work. I'm also going to try and take three bins of odds and ends and reduce the odds and ends to two bins of odds and ends. Oh, and I need to review our December expenses to make sure we didn't get too crazy with our holiday spending. Then, if time allows I should catch up on emails.

Which to tackle first? I think I'll begin with the odds and ends. Then, I'll move on to the computer stuff.


Cheers!
mouse

01.12.15: Home Again

Dear Friends and Family,

After a bummer week with no internet access, we're home and up and running and the weather is in the double digits. I am happy. I have also been sticking with my new year's resolution to do something each day to make our place more of an airbnb and me more of a happy soul on permanent staycation. No one change is monumental. Nor does it feel like I'm anywhere close to done. But, I am beginning to see signs of progress. And, that feels amazing.

I've been spending a lot of my time on the main room that we spend our time in. In most houses it would either be in the basement or in a separate room with closed doors. It's filled with P's toys and is mostly a playroom. It is also a dumping ground for all of the stuff she brings home from school... mostly artwork, but also sheets and cards and photos... I've been slowly going through things to figure out what we still play with and what we've moved on from. Today, I moved two bins of stuffies upstairs to P's room. That opened up space to put a bunch of stuff sitting on the floor (Lincoln Logs, Jenga, and blocks) into the shelf. It makes more sense to have the stuffies in P's room. Now, I just need to put some thought into their home in her room. But, still, it's one step closer.

I'm also happy because we got to spend the weekend with friends from the mouse winter cabin. It was cold, but it doesn't feel as cold because no one makes a fuss over the cold. P got to walk on a frozen lake. I got to sip wine by our neighbors' fireplace. I also got inspired by my neighbors. They've done some amazing things to their house. It's so well thought out and put together. But, they didn't do it all at once. It came in bits and pieces.

Well, enough about me and my general sense of bliss. I've got to go get some work done or tomorrow I'll feel like a wreck.


Cheers!
mouse

Single Step mouse

Dear Friends and Family,

Mr. mouse just left for work. P is at school. Welcome to 2015.

I've got the house to myself to get done what I need to get done today. And, it feels great. Lots of things to do. I guess step 1 is getting mentally organized.

mouse's day, today:

1. laundry
2. eat breakfast
3. file state unemployment forms
4. look into Frog and Toad
5. clean up drop box
6. figure out plans for the weekend
7. eat lunch
8. sew on button on P's shirt
9. do something to make the house more like an airbnb
10. yearbook email
11. call my Dad
12. pick up P

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I'm off to do laundry.


Cheers!
mouse

Last Day of Winter Break

Dear Friends and Family,

It's the last day of winter break. Mr. mouse heads back to work today. P heads back to school tomorrow. And, then, I can catch up on Downton Abbey. Just kidding. Then, I can return to my routine. There's a lot of things I want to work on in 2014. I mean 2015.

I feel like my to do list is under control. So, I'll definitely work on keeping it under control. I feel like my budget is under control. So, I'll definitely work on keeping it under control. And, I'm excited about the progress I've made on the house the past four days. Under the aspiration of turning my house into a bed and breakfast, or really more an airbnb, I've been working on getting the place in order. Just to be clear, I don't ever intend on renting the place out, I'd just like for the place to be able to be rented out. Then, I feel like I'd enjoy it more. It'd be like getting to stay at someone else's place, only for free. It'd be an endless, free staycation. And, that, my friends, sounds marvelous.

There's a blog I read that always inspired me to work on the house. The writer had gone on hiatus for over a year and I despaired of ever seeing her posts again. Then, she wrote yesterday. And, I leaped to read her post. It turns out her mother has dementia and she's been battling cancer. Yes, while I've been going through what seemed like major events in my life - adjusting to my new role as entrepreneur, learning to live on one paycheck, getting over old work, enjoying my time with P, and trying to get life under control - she's been struggling with the very basic fight to live.

And, that's reminded me of a very important lesson. Life's too short to be unhappy. Yes, there's the need to defer rewards. Yes, there's the need to take care of the chores while enjoying the cheers. But, that doesn't mean you need to be unhappy. I feel like I spent a lot of last year unhappy. First, I was unhappy with both old work and with new work. Then, I was unhappy with my transition from old work. I was happy over the summer. But, then, I was unhappy again in the fall with new work and with life in general. I kept thinking happiness was an end goal, that once I whacked a certain number of moles back into their holes, I'd be happy. But, I don't think it works that way. Life's still going to feel like a game of whack a mole. But, happiness is learning to like playing whack a mole. The moles never stop popping up, so I've got to learn to be happy playing, not looking for a goal that I may never attain.

So, I guess my new year's resolution is to focus on being happy, truly happy, on the inside happy. I don't think people, in general, know when I'm unhappy. So, I don't think anyone will notice a difference. But, that's okay. The one person who will notice is me, and that's all that matters.

So, I'll continue to do the things I'm doing. But, I'll really focus on enjoying the journey instead of only focusing on the end result. Here's to a wonderful 2015.


Cheers!
mouse

2015: A New Year

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Thursday evening, January 1, 2015. The past year did go quickly. And, after a quick trip home to see the grandparents, it's nice to be back home and beginning a new year. We're still on a budget. And, the house is still a mess. And, I still need to get back in shape. But, somehow, I'm still happy today. I know things will get hectic once P's back in school next week. But, for now, I'm blissfully enjoying the low key days at home for winter break.

I have been trying to get the house back in order. Whenever we travel, I realize how happy we can be with what little we packed into our suitcase. Then, I come home with a little motivation to get the house in order. I know this is an odd goal, but I'd love my house to be like a bed and breakfast and Mr. mouse and P and me the guest. It sounds sterile and not home like, but I think I'd enjoy it. I think we'll stop far short of a bed and breakfast, but it's a nice aspirational goal as I continue to try and get the house in order.

Today, I cleared off my nightstand. And, I made some progress in P's play area. The problem is we have so much stuff that does not have a home. And, I'm not sure it needs a home in our house. We have three bottles of foam glue from an art project at P's school. My initial inclination is to throw away the extra glue. We don't have foam at home we need to glue, so we don't need to find a home for foam glue. Mr. mouse will be appalled. He'll think it's a waste. This is where we end up with piles of things with no home. A bed and breakfast would not have three bottles of foam glue on a coffee table. This I know. I will try to continue to be motivated!

Well, I think Mr. mouse fell asleep with P. I'll probably head to bed soon myself.


Cheers!
mouse