08.13.12: Where Do I Begin?

Dear Friends and Family,

I don't even know where to begin.

I could paint a rosy picture of the weekend focused on P's request to feed the ducks (which we did on Saturday) and eat french fries in the streets (which we did on Sunday).

Or, I could paint a dark picture of the weekend focused on the fight Mr. mouse and I had which culminated in my throwing the phone down the stairs, his waving a knife around in a way that both scared me and angered me, and P crying over watching the spectacle.

Like I said, I don't even know where to begin.

Perhaps, I can begin by saying something snapped in me last night during the whole incident. This isn't going to be an easy one to move on from.

I felt a level of danger I never felt before. It wasn't directed at P. It was directed at me. But, I'm not going to raise P in a household where she sees a woman unable to walk out on a unhealthy relationship.

At the same time, I'm trying to boggle through my head the ramifications of raising P in two households and/or if sole custody is even an option I can win. I don't think I want to do that to P either.

Lots to think through. But, in the meantime, if I end up found in little pieces in sandwich bags scattered over the city, please call the authorities.


Cheers!
mouse