01.31.11: Secret Travels

Dear Friends (and Family),

We snuck home to see friends without telling our family we were in town. Is that evil? We figured we only had a quick weekend and we had just seen them a month ago. And, it's just plain tiring traipsing around with P and getting her into and out of a number of routines. This way, we let her have her Saturday morning. We had a stretch of time Saturday afternoon with friends. We had dinner with one of my close friends. And, then, she had her Sunday morning with us.

And, we had a chance to catch up with friends and enjoy the day. P warmed up to the adults once she had a chance to sit and play. She's still not a fan of other kids. I suppose that comes later.

Sunday night, we had battle royal at the dinner table. P didn't want her rice and beans. She didn't want her cereal. She didn't want her yogurt. But, she got the words chicken and dip out amidst her whines, sobs and grunts. And, lo and behold, she ate a plate of chicken dipped in ketchup.


Cheers!
mouse

Weight Watchers

Dear Friends and Family,

Day 5 of my new Weight Watchers journey:

So continues my saga to return to my pre-pregnancy weight. P is going to be two this year, and I realize that at some point I need to do something about my weight or accept that this is my new state of being.

This week has been good. It's reminded me of some of the things I used to to while on Weight Watchers. There's no random nibbling from people's desks because I'm stressed. There's research before going out to eat to see what's good and good for you. There's thinking about portion control and portioning out your food vs. digging in and eating until you're "full." And, there's being hungry.

I'm not going to starve to death. In this land of plenty, I am, fortunately, not one of the food insecure. I have to be okay with hunger. It is a sign that I should eat. It is a point I can reach. One does not need to eat if one is not hungry.

We'll see how the weekend goes.


Cheers!
mouse

Toddler Time

Dear Friends and Family,

P has two more teeth coming in (the top two that go between her front four and her first molars) and she is chewing on everything - her shirt, her shoes, her toes, her arm - you name it, she will try chewing on it.

She's also turned all girly girl on me. She likes to open the drawer and take out the costume jewelry I left in the drawer, put it on, look in the mirror, then turn on the music and dance. It's awesome to watch.


Cheers!
mouse

Rides Home

Dear Friends and Family,

If I were to switch jobs and P were to switch schools, I would miss our morning and evening routine. I drop her off at school and I pick her up. I could still do those things. But, what I wouldn't have is the daily time in the car.

I turn on her light. I turn on the car. I take off her jacket. I buckle her into her seat. I put her snack by her right leg and her milk in left cup holder. I tuck her blanket around her. And, sometimes she gets one of her plush friends.

Then, we head home. And, now that she's talkative enough, we have fun with it. We sing songs that she requests (Old MacDonald, Wheels on the Bus, Bumblebee, Alphabet Song). We point to trucks and trains and sometimes airplanes. We recite the alphabet and alphabet animals. We count. We play peekaboo. We make sounds and the other person guesses what we're pretending to be.

It's a fun time that's just P and Mommy time. I'll miss that if I were to switch jobs. I don't like bad commutes, but sometimes our rides home feel more like road trips. And, I do like road trips.


Cheers!
mouse

Sliced Bread

Dear Friends and Family,

I just found money in a pocket and it made me happy.

Well, it wasn't real money, but it is better than real money.

I just found out Social Security has a cost of living adjustment. And, while I'm not banking on 100% pay out of benefits, I do have 50% loaded into my retirement plan. So, being able to add a cost of living adjustment just added money to my plan.


Cheers!
mouse

01.24.11: Another Year, Another Party

Dear Friends and Family,

This past weekend was our annual new year party. Despite missing some dear friends, falling asleep (and snoring) by the end of the party and getting sick the next morning, I have to say, I enjoyed it more than I thought possible.

Trixie brought mustache tattoos. I had a chance to hang out with friends and not spend the evening answering the door. P had a chance to meet several members of her fan base. And, of course, by the end of the evening, we had a pile of puppies on the couch.

Sunday, we ate brunch and then rested until football was on TV. We watched both games with friends, chips and pizza. P had a bath. I got some work done. We all turned in for the night.

And, today, I am strangely optimistic about the work week given the state of disrepair I left on Thursday. Perhaps the day off was what I needed. Or, my guess is, the time off with friends on Saturday and Sunday. Either way, feeling like I have a little more gas in the tank than I usually do.


Cheers!
mouse

Full Disclosure

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night, over dinner, I told Mr. mouse about the request at work that I move positions. Now, if I decide to leave, he won't be surprised.

It was nice sharing.


Cheers!
mouse

Full Circle

Dear Friends and Family,

For all it's crazy times and stress, I enjoy my job. I like my job. And, now, my management team is asking me to switch jobs. And, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I am on the cusp of seeing some pretty great things happen with my job. And, I am toying with seeing it through to completion and taking a new job elsewhere based upon the accomplishments of my current job.

I'll miss my job if I do. And, I'll need to find new daycare for P if I do.

The other option is to stay and take this new job that my management team is asking me to take and see where it leads. Frankly, I'm not jazzed about this new job. But, I get paid well for what I do and P loves her school.

I think I need a vacation to step away from all of this.


Cheers!
mouse

The Table Quest

Dear Friends and Family,

The long slough to clear the table continues. I just listed a phone we no longer use on eBay. We'll see if it sells.

And, the kitchen counter. Well, it's back to it's chaotic state. But, here's my discovery. If you tackle it quickly most of the stuff is easy to sort through. But, if you wait, then things tend to settle and take root and then it's mountains of time sorting through it.

So, I'll need to address it before this weekend comes. Then, I'll have two surfaces that are (mostly) clear. Yeah for mouse!


Cheers!
mouse

Rapidly Expanding Vocabulary

Dear Friends and Family,

I know P knows more words than she speaks. And, I know that at some point this balloons into language. And, I think we're seeing that happen.

Last night, she shared "Monkey" and "Woof", the names of two of her plush friends. And, there was "chicken" which was on her plate for dinner. And, "hello" and "bye" which she said on and off, but not purposefully like last night on the play phone.

And, there was the moment when I took a couple of mandarin oranges out of the refrigerator and she saw them and said "chte" (the best her can manage toward oranges) and wouldn't go back to eating, just saying "chte" and pointing to where I was attempting to hide them with little success.

And, there was the moment when she wanted beans with her rice and pointed to the fridge and said "beans, fridge".

Guess all of those neurons are beginning to connect. Oh, and more chompers coming in. She's got twelve (four top middle, four bottom middle, four molars), but she's chewing on stuff and if you ask her if her mouth itches, she says, "yes."


Cheers!
mouse

01.17.11: Weekend at Home

Dear Friends and Family,

I think we're at the point when water begins to going from heating up to rolling boil - a few bubbles here and there, but the bubbles are getting bigger and coming more frequently.

This time Mr. mouse and I got into a HUGE fight over a cell phone that neither of us want. He made some comment that it was worth keeping in case one of our phones break.

I think that's just a microcosm of our lives. He'll keep a million and one things just in case. And, it just becomes a mental and emotional drag on my existence leaving me feeling unempowered to do anything in the house. And, then the house festers. And, I fester.

Well, last night I decided to push the point. And, he threw the phone out the front door into the street. And, then we yelled and yelled and yelled. And, now, the phone is sitting in the garbage and I'm feeling mildly better for it being out of the house.

I still think this is about something more than the phone - just waiting for that ah-ha moment when it all becomes obvious.

What'd we do this weekend? Not much of anything. Saturday, P was a nightmare, probably because she was fighting a cold. Sunday, P was a delight, probably because she was feeling much better.

She's picking up words left and right. And, she's using them purposefully. Like, yesterday I offered her a cup of milk and she said no and then pointed and said fridge as in please put the milk in the fridge since I don't want it now and that's the correct place for it.


Cheers!
mouse

Thursday Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

Good morning. Hopefully you are asleep in bed like a sane human being.

I have been up since 1AM this morning working on stuff I've put off for too long.

Tomorrow, I have a day with no meetings on my calendar. I may decide to work from some place other than my desk at the office so I don't have to worry about interruptions.

Then, it will magically be the weekend.


Cheers!
mouse

Wednesday Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

My small accomplishment for the morning was moving the crayons and the ink pad to P's art supply drawer in our credenza opening up approximately six square inches of space on the table.

It's not a big accomplishment, but it's big psychologically because it means I've hit the bottom of the mountain of stuff on the table.

And, I'm realizing I need help.

I think my recent clutter binges at home (with the table and the kitchen counter) are really me lashing out against what's bothering me and trying to restore order to a life that seems to have devolved into chaos.

Work is stressful. Mr. mouse's mercurial work situation is stressful. Raising a toddler is stressful. Commuting is stressful. Commuting with a toddler is stressful. Contemplating a small business is stressful.

And, all of this stress is leading to bad eating which is leading the me feeling rotten which is, guess what, stressful.

I guess the question is how to reduce the stress. Perhaps, instead of physical clutter control, I need mental clutter control. There's just too much going on and it's stressing me out.

The question is, where do I even begin? How do I begin to chip away at the mountain and make enough progress to hit the bottom of the mountain of stuff on my mental plate?

I think if I had the answer to that question, I could mint money.


Cheers!
mouse

Tuesday Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday, and all three of us are up. P is lying on the floor with her blanket and looking at books. Scratch that, she's at the table vaunting her color knowledge along with the 130 words she's mastered.

She's begun recognizing some letters and some numbers and will recite either after you. She can get to five consistently on her own, then skips six and seven, jumping to eight, nine and ten.

And, now, we've got a full fledged tantrum going over the right to flash a flashlight in her eyes. Oh, the tears. Whoever said you don't mind your own child's cries was wrong. I can't say I'm a big fan of P's crying or whining. It still grates on my sensibilities.

Ah. Peace.

I've been working on another de-cluttering project. We have a table in our living room. My preference would be to get rid of the table all together. It's a horizontal surface begging to be filled. If you give Mr. mouse a horizontal surface, he will fill it, much to my chagrin.

Well, this table was piled at least a foot high with stuff. And, now, there's still a couple of piles of stuff to work through, but it's gotten to the point where it's a single layer of stuff. Each item removed, at this point, makes a noticeable improvement to clutter control progress.

1. cup of pens and pencils
2. box of gift cards
3. post it notes
4. crayons
5. flash cards that I want to throw away
6. old phones and cameras for P
7. one pile of papers that still need to be worked through
8. a pile of coloring books and stickers for P
9. photos to be scanned
10. a computer mouse
11. a noise maker
12. 6 baseball caps
13. 3 sandwich bags with stuff from P
14. some hair ties
15. luggage tags
16. pins

And, I'm sure I forgot some stuff. But, yes, after all the hard work, that's what's still left on the table. I'll spare you the gory details of what's no longer on the table.

My thought is, if I can somehow keep the table clear long enough, Mr. mouse will either start helping to keep it clear or, maybe, agree to take the table out of our room.

De-cluttering feels like a constant battle of wills. You win some battles and then you turn around and realize the enemy is back. It's a constant game of whack a mole.


Cheers!
mouse

01.10.11: Back to Work

Dear Friends and Family,

It was a weekend of work intruding on life and I feel like part of it is because there's a lot of work going on, but part of it is because one of my colleagues is not the best decision maker.

I need to find better work-like balance.

On a positive note, the kitchen is still livable. And, I made good progress on a random table of clutter we have in the living room. I was inspired by an article I read. The person in the article went too far. But, I figured I wasn't going far enough.

Still, I got to spend some good time with P. She's got issues we need to work through - she doesn't like sharing, she doesn't like new environments, she doesn't like to be crowded and she doesn't like cats. She's getting only child syndrome.

But, she's adding new words everyday including her own name. And, yesterday, she put two words together to form a phrase. Mr. mouse said he was going upstairs to change so the two of them could go out for bagels. And, while he was upstairs, P went to the bin of clean laundry and pulled out a pair of Mr. mouse's jeans and said Daddy bahjee (her way of saying pants). Wow.

She's begun lining her toys up in a row, feeding her animals, and putting together puzzles. And, she's still walking around on tip toes. It's a fun age.


Cheers!
mouse

Friday

Dear Friends and Family,

It appears I may have made it through the week in one piece.

Sometime this week I made the conscious decision to try and live more in the present, to stop hypothesizing about all of the possible future conversations and outcomes that could happen, to stop replaying all of the past conversations and outcomes that did happen, and to instead focus on the here and now.

Traffic cooperating has only helped.

So, it's Friday and I have one more day to make it through to get to the weekend. I'm cautiously optimistic.


Cheers!
mouse

Stressed

Dear Friends and Family,

Stressed about today. Lots of meetings I'm not quite prepared for. Lots of meetings that overlap. Lots of emails that'll pile up while I'm in my meeting. Lots of work that still needs to get done.

Feeling overwhelmed. I need a break.


Cheers!
mouse

Kitchen Counter Wars

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm stressed about work so I will focus this morning instead on what is within my control, most of the time.

Last we checked in, I was working on the kitchen counter vowing to win a long waged war against the stuff on the counter. We had a couple of days over the holidays where it got ugly. But, fortunately, it's mostly back to normal.

But, back to work. It's stressful. I enjoy some days of it, but other days I am plain beat. I keep thinking there will be a chance to decompress and get back to normal. But, after each project launches I am off and running against the next project.

But, to be fair, I'm not sure how much of this is work and how much of this is P. I took my current position shortly after I returned from maternity leave. And, life is more stressful. There's the commute. There's the lack of free time. There's the commitment to being good parents. There's the change in every routine that made up our lives.

Well, either way, work kept me up part of last night so today I am tired. And, since the past two days have been hell on wheels, I am dreading today.

At least I don't have any "tough" meetings on deck for today.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Perhaps I need to switch pictures back to frazzled mouse.

Directed Play

Dear Friends and Family,

P's been up to a lot over the winter holidays. Christmas day she decided she knew all of the basic colors and white and would share that knowledge with the rest of us - patiently helping her color challenged parents every time we asked her, "what color is (fill in the blank)?" And, around New Year's Eve she picked up counting to five, although that's not as consistent yet.

More interestingly, our toddler has become the prototypical only child letting us know exactly how she wants to play with us. You sit here, you do this, you hold this this way, etc. It's cute, but not something I want to foster in the long run.

And, in a show of children defeating toys, she's figured out all of the blocks will fit through the square hole of the shape sorter. And her favorite toy of the holiday season? The bottles and cans in our pantry.

The transition back to school was tiring. P came home last night and whined her way through the evening. By 8:00 she wanted to go upstairs and by 8:30 she was fast asleep. Hopefully she's feeling more rested today.


Cheers!
mouse

01.03.11: Monday Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

I unplugged for a week and so far I think the pain associated with it will be worth the gain in having time off. Famous last words.

When you last saw me, I had 12 tasks separating me from the holidays. My colleague and I plowed through them. And, were moderately successful in getting through them until a last minute glitch came up in the eleventh hour. We cobbled together a something or other and called it a day. I had a handful of tasks remaining.

Then, while at Mr. mouse's folks' place, I plowed through a bunch of emails and felt like I was really rocking and rolling.

Then, we went to my parents' place for a couple of days. Nothing like spending time with the parents to totally throw me off kilter. Truth be told, it wasn't their fault this time. They do require 110% of your time and attention and energy when you're with them, but I can't fault them on this one.

They want to share P, to let others see her and spend time with her. Well, P has her limits. She's shy and takes time to warm up to people and three new adults is already pushing the limit much less four or five or six new adults. Add to that an eating schedule that's off kilter which then results in a sleeping schedule that's off kilter and I'm not really relaxing and catching up, I'm in full time woman-on-toddler recovery mode.

Add to the already tiring set of events another uncontrollable - the weather. We got snowed in and needed to make alternate plans to come home. So, instead of an empty flight Tuesday morning, we're on the train to nowhere Monday night and Mr. mouse is making lemonade from lemons and we're spending Tuesday on an impromptu sightseeing trip. And, we make it home in time to go to sleep Tuesday evening - feeling like we need recovery time, not like we can hit the ground running on Wednesday.

Which is where the week went. We spent time with P and getting the house put back together and decompressing on Wednesday. And, then it hardly felt worth it to plug in for a day on Thursday. And, before you knew it it was Friday. And, then Saturday. And, then Sunday.

Which is how I find myself Monday morning dreading going back to work. The same handful of tasks remain only now I don't have a week of leisure to work on them. Emails have re-taken over my inbox. And, the cobbled patch is definitely a finger in a dam that I'm afraid to remove.

But, dedicated readers, of which there are few, fear not, I will take a moment to reflect and to try and grow as a person.

Mr. mouse and I had a huge row on New Year's Eve. He gets absorbed in technology. I get absorbed in technology. It's not uncommon for us to spend the evening "together" with both of us tied to our respective screens. It's also not uncommon for us, in our enormously complex world, for one of us to crash while the other works or randomly surfs or tries to get tasks done around the house.

Tuesday night, it was all about trying to get P back into a routine. Wednesday night, Mr. mouse decided he needed to run errands. Thursday night, I don't recall what happened but it was more of the above. But, that brings us New Year's Eve and the last minute charitable donations. I'm done and I want to spend some quality time with Mr. mouse to ring in the new year and he's dithering on that last $25 donation reading the current housing regulations of his dorm and other inanities. And, I blow a gasket and he blows a gasket and kaboom. Huge row.

Which brings me to my goal for the year - to become less absorbed with technology. I'll still spend some time in the morning reflecting, but I'm going to try and make evenings and weekends screen free time.


Cheers!
mouse