01.31.12: Weekly Weigh In

Dear Friends and Family,

weigh in: 142.4

I gained 0.4 pounds since my weigh-in last Tuesday.

Was it the 15 dumplings? The half bag of french fries? The stress of work? "That" time of month? The Indian food?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And, yes.

It was a bunch of things including my first social weekend on Weight Watchers. Somehow, I'm okay with it. When I was flat last week, I felt I had tried and seen no reward. This week, I know I did things I shouldn't have. And, it's okay to see the results of it all.

Plan? Continue drinking my milk and taking my vitamin.

Next week, hopefully I have better news to report.


Cheers!
mouse

01.30.12: Happy New Year

Dear Friends and Family,

What a perfect weekend of friends and fun - celebrating the year of the dragon.

And, I've come to a realization. I need to fix my work situation. I'm unhappy and staying unhappy for the next year and a half so that P can enjoy school is not the right answer for all of us.

The question is, what can I do to become more happy? Who do I talk to? What do I change? Where do I begin?

They just announced a re-organization in our department on Wednesday and I was out on Thursday and Friday. I think I need to spend some time this week figuring out what it is I want to work on from a work perspective.

That and I need to spend some time making it happen. P's got a year and a half until she goes to school (at best, since this is assuming she goes to junior kindergarten) and that's too long to let the current situation "happen."

Thank you, dear friends, for reminding me and rejuvenating me.


Cheers!
mouse

4 More Days

Dear Friends and Family,

Still obsessed.

I think it's because I'm realizing that work needs to change. And, the more progress I make on the retirement fund the better I feel about work changing. Actually, P needs to go to school not connected with my work. Then, it all becomes 1000% easier.

Actually, the other reason I'm obsessed is that it's hard work. We can either hire a professional to do this for us or we can do it ourselves. The hardest part for me is picking investments. I've practiced long enough at saving that that part isn't hard. A sizable portion of my paycheck goes to my retirement account each paycheck. That part's not the hard part.

The hard part is that if I ignore it for a long enough time, there's a pile of cash in the account earning 0.000002% interest which isn't what I need for retirement. On the positive side, it's also FDIC insured at 0.000002% interest, so I don't need to worry about market downs with cash.

But, seriously, the part that's been tough is investing - buying things for the cash in the hope that those things appreciate faster than inflation. So, this morning I bought three more stocks. And, I upped how much I'm willing to buy for a single chunk. For instance, if I buy in $50 chunks, then I need to pick A LOT of stocks, bonds, etc. to invest all of my money. But, if I buy in $100 chunks then I need fewer and if I buy in $200 chunks I need even fewer. I think you get the gist.

So, I placed more bets this morning. Let's hope that I've got good news to report in six days (four days plus two weekend days).


Cheers!
mouse

Schools and Bullies

Dear Friends and Family,

I had a meeting at work yesterday with a bunch of the parents (read, Moms) from P's school. And, there I learned that there are bullies in P's age group. No surprise.

What I was surprised to learn was the extent of the bullying. One of the mom's told me she had to sign four reports in a single day for her daughter. As in, she got bitten or hit or kicked or something four times in one day. I told Mr. mouse kids like that should be segregated into a single room and/or kicked out of the school. The bullies, not the bullied, that is.

Then, on my way home from work, I was telling P about our Bill of Rights. Yep. I was talking to her about her Bill of Rights. And, we got to the one about undue seizure. And, P jumped in and told me that Caveman Jack took her motorcycle today and that she wasn't done playing with it and that she "took" it back.

On the one hand, I wish I could tell her that grabbing stuff from other's isn't good. But, on the other hand, if it was grabbed from her, taking it back doesn't seem so unreasonable either. What's comical is, I wasn't sure how much of my talk she was absorbing until she chimed in. Then, I realized she was listening and following.


Cheers!
mouse

01.24.12: Weekly Weigh In

Dear Friends and Family,

weigh in: 142.0

I lost 0.0 pounds since my weigh-in last Tuesday.

This is when I quit Weight Watchers the last time round. I had a great first week followed by two nominal weigh-ins.

Lots of thoughts go through your head when you have two nominal weigh-ins. Lots of thoughts on things to change and try. Then, you get overwhelmed. Then, other things become a priority.

So, instead of trying everything. I will do two things this week.

First, I will continue to drink my milk every day like I did last week. Why, I don't know since it did not lead to instantaneous magic results this week. It's not a silver bullet, obviously, but I think I will continue to drink my milk every day this week.

Second, I will take my multivitamin every day this week. Sometimes it makes me nauseous. But, it's one of the Eight Good Health Guidelines. I will try it this week and see what next week's results look like.

Oh, and, note to self, Chipotle the day before a weigh-in is never a good idea. Maybe some people do okay with it. But, bringing in lunch yesterday would have probably yielded a better outcome. Live and learn.


Cheers!
mouse

01.23.12: Haircut, Barely

Dear Friends and Family,

P doesn't like getting her hair cut. There's no ifs, and, or buts about it. She's willing to attempt it to please us, but she really doesn't like it.

I'm torn. Do we give her the space to outgrow her fears and let her hair grow while we wait her out? Or, do we continue with the haircuts and hope for the best? She's so good, it's hard to not cut her some slack on the one thing she's not good with. Especially since she's afraid of it for some reason.

Saturday, since P was grounded, we couldn't do our normal routine. Instead, she went to the airport to play in their indoor playground. Doesn't seem like much of a grounding, but I didn't have it in me to come down hard on her since she was resolved to getting her hair cut on Sunday.

Sunday, we went to the salon. She braved out half the haircut, and then sobbed her way through the second half. We still gave her a haircut sticker, took her out to her favorite diner and let her open her last present since she didn't flat out refuse to get her hair cut, but I still feel bad over the tears and crying. Also back are her favorite cherry glasses and cookies at the bagel shop.

Mr. mouse's highlight for the day was taking P sledding. I wasn't sure how it'd go down, but she really enjoyed it. We went down the hill until P got tired. Then, we made snowballs and "threw" them into the fields until P got more tired. Then, we walked to the car. P was ready to pass out. But, I kept talking to her until we got home. Then, she insisted on opening her last present before falling asleep in her crib.

To round out the weekend, I got some good house organizing done and we dropped $700 on unexpected car exhaust work. It was a fun weekend. P looks adorable in her new haircut, the car sounds a thousand times better than it did on Friday, and I had a blast sledding with P and Mr. mouse.


Cheers!
mouse

$50 a month

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry. I am obsessed with retirement planning.

This may be because work is beginning to resemble a bunch of mice scurrying across the deck of a sinking ship. Note: I saw a mouse in the parking garage the other day, and of course a cruise ship did sink, so I may have scurrying rodents and sinking ships top of mind.

I rejiggered my math to look at it a different way. I have a short list of variables: how long we'll live, how much we want for retirement each month, how much we save each month and when we retire. Before, I was keeping everything constant and calculating when we retire. Make sense? Now, instead, I've zeroed out everything and calculated, if we retired today, how much would we have for retirement each month. Still with me?

I'm happy to say, the worst case number, while MUCH lower than our goal, is enough that we would be able to keep food on the table. It wouldn't be glamorous and I'm not sure how health insurance would work and I don't think we'd be able to afford the taxes on our home, but food would be on the table.

I'm also happy to say, the best case number, while also MUCH lower than our goal, is definitely enough to keep food on the table and keep us in our current home and probably keep us from becoming too bitter about life.

And, in a third piece of happiness, I'm happy to say, by delaying retirement one more month, and doing nothing else, we have a little more each month for retirement, since our money has a little more time to grow. How much more? Somewhere between $20 and $50 a month based upon my math.

See? I'm obsessed.


Cheers!
mouse

13 More Days

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm more than fleetingly curious as to how the market will finish January. I want the market to finish up. I want to feel like I am making progress on retirement. I want cause and effect to be more tightly linked. I want to feel control.

Unlike some of my Top 3, retirement is something I can work towards. But, ultimately, there's more than an average measure of luck tossed in. I cannot control how Social Security will work. I cannot control if I lose my job tomorrow. I can control my retirement contributions, but I cannot control the market returns.

Zen would tell me to focus on what I can control and let go of what I cannot control. I make a contribution with each paycheck towards our retirement fund. I could spend that money on other stuff. I do not. So, I am doing what I can.

Still, I would love for January to end up instead of down. It would make me really happy.


Cheers!
mouse

01.17.12: Weekly Weigh In

Dear Friends and Family,

weigh in: 142.0

I lost 0.2 pounds since my weigh-in last Tuesday.

0.2 pounds isn't a lot. But, a loss is a loss. And, any loss is better than staying the same or gaining. Considering my intraweek weigh-ins, I'm not complaining about a 0.2 pound loss. It's still a step in the right direction. And, it's a step closer to my next milestone of 141.X.

I still think the new point allowance is higher than my former experience on Weight Watchers. It's possible that it's different the second time around. It's possible it's different after a baby. It's possible it's different when you're older. But, I'll continue on it for now since I don't have any better ideas and it seems to be working. 3.4 pounds over two weeks is still ahead of the pound a week average I saw on the prior program.

One thing I am proud of for the week is getting in more of my dairy. I drink a cup of milk in my coffee at home and I drink a cup of milk in my coffee at the office. On the weekends, I drink a cup of milk in my coffee and then I try to get the other one in something else. So far, it's been oatmeal, cereal, and hot chocolate (the homemade kind).

I don't think it helps keep me full even if each cup has 8 grams of protein. But, it burns up points which is good.

I'm not going to over-think this any more than I already have. I'm going to try and keep my focus for the week and hope for a loss next week.


Cheers!
mouse

01.16.12: January Weekends

Dear Friends and Family,

After December, I need January. Starting with Thanksgiving, we begin the year-end frenzy of holiday commitments - cards, gifts, travel, etc. That always leave me EXHAUSTED and wondering what life is about. Then, January comes, and takes away all of those commitments.

We're free to enjoy our weekends with nothing or close to nothing to fill them up.

Saturday, we went to lunch with a group of friends we see a once or twice each year. I worked with them on a project about five years ago, but we've still remained close.

The rest of Saturday was free to play, pick up diapers, eat dinner. I can't recall because it was a free form day.

Sunday, we went to the bagel store, but no cookies since P is still grounded. We took down our tree and dropped it off at the local tree recycle center. We briefly contemplated sledding, but instead came home for a nap. P napped without going for a walk. We ate dinner. We went out and got groceries and a "kid shovel" for P.

She's really excited about the kid shovel.

And, now, it's Monday. Thankfully, it's a federal holiday, so I've got my fingers crossed about traffic.


Cheers!
mouse

Traffic Gods Strike Back

Dear Friends and Family,

Yes. It was miserable again. Yes, it was for two and a half hours from when I got out of work until we got home after dinner. Then, it magically disappeared. Yes, I knew it was coming. That's why we went out to dinner last night. Yes, I was stunned to find it no better when we got on the road to come home. No, no one is encased in carbonite.

BTW, for the record, what is carbonite? It sounds like something can exist now, as in not science fiction.

Yes, I brought home work. I wish I could say I had a fabulous evening with P, but alas, it was merely a nice evening with P.

We went out to dinner. She was more interested in looking around and talking and fidgeting in her chair. But, on the way to the car, she looked over and said it was nice eating dinner with you, Mommy. And, my heart melted.

We talked potty training on the way home. She pooped. I changed her when we got home.

We watched 12 minutes of videos on the computer - an unheard of number of videos for her while I worked.

We went upstairs and changed and read and went to sleep.

I wish we had had time for coloring and for playing and for arts and crafts and for a picnic at home, but, it wasn't meant to be.


Cheers!
mouse

Laughing Traffic Gods

Dear Friends and Family,

I won't lie. My commute is wearing on me.

Last night, the traffic gods were laughing. Remember the part of my commute that could be between 50 and 70 minutes on a bad day? Yes, out of nowhere (well, not exactly out of nowhere) it spiked from a Tuesday normal to bad to back to normal in all of 60 minutes. It's unfortunate, that it was smack dab in the middle of my commute.

If I go back to my happiness map - so much of this can be solved for. I switch jobs. Theoretically, it pays well enough that the money equation doesn't change.

I would save time which I can use for a multitude of things that make me happy - organizing the house, shopping, working, spending time with friends, spending time with Mr. mouse and P, sleeping, or just doing nothing.

So, why don't I switch jobs? Well, for awhile I was enjoying my job. But, I'll admit it. I didn't really enjoy 2011. But, before I switch jobs, I need to find a solution for P. She likes her friends. She likes her school. Her eligibility is tied to my work. Therefore, if I can find a solution for P, I can switch jobs.

She who laughs last may laugh best.


Cheers!
mouse

01.10.12: Weekly Weigh In

Dear Friends and Family,

weigh in: 142.2

I lost 3.2 pounds since my weigh-in last Tuesday.

I won't say I couldn't have lost 3.2 pounds eventually without Weight Watchers. I might have. I might not have. I WILL say, I would not have lost 3.2 pounds by today without Weight Watchers.

And, now, to think about this week. What is my goal for this week? Weight Watchers thinks in larger chunks than I do.

My goal for this week? Be 142.0 or less by a future weigh-in. I know. That's only 0.2 pounds less than today's weigh-in. But, realistically, it feels like a good next goal for me.

I'm not setting a time limit since I don't know how this journey will evolve.

Then, I will set my next goal.


Cheers!
mouse

01.09.12: First Weekend Home of 2012

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a packed agenda on Saturday and a blank agenda on Sunday. P did stunning with most of Saturday, but we did get off to a rocky start with her haircut. She refused to get it cut. And, now she's deprived of her favorite diner, her favorite bagel shop, her cherry drinking glasses, a haircut sticker, and opening her last Christmas gift until she gets her hair cut.

P's first grounding. She's being a great sport about it and not sulking about the consequences. She understands there are certain things she wants that she's not getting because she was not good.

There's still a lot she is getting - stickers for potty, stickers for trying new foods (aji, pistachios, and french fried onions), stickers for trying more stuff at the park, walks with Mr. mouse, dinners out, birthday parties, her existing batch of toys and books, hugs and kisses, and only a little bit of reminder that the haircut is causing her small bumps in life. After all, there are cookies at the bagel shop.

Saturday night, we went out to dinner and I ordered the salad for the first time in a long time. I won't lie. It's not as gratifying as eating an over-sized entree with meat and pasta. But, it wasn't the end of the world either. I woke up Sunday morning and I was still alive. And, the meal was more a memory of seeing friends and laughing at P's impromptu concert than it was a memory of having eaten too much food. And, that's not a bad thing.

Actually, it was weird this weekend. With the haircut fiasco dictating breakfasts at home, and the birthday party and the Weight Watchers, we ate in the whole weekend with the exception of Friday dinner and Saturday dinner.

Fingers crossed for weigh-in tomorrow.


Cheers!
mouse

Elegant Solutions

Dear Friends and Family,

I read an article this morning - 30 Challenges for 30 Days. And, frankly, it was exhausting. I should have been inspired, but I was like, nope I can't commit to one more thing. Not one more thing. Try one new thing everyday? Sorry. That involves planning one new thing and then executing against it. Nope.

Which means now might be a good time to try and take stuff off of my plate. There's little things and big things, there's work, P, Weight Watchers, our January party, birthday parties, dinners with friends, haircuts, house cleanings, organizing the house, the idea, and the list goes on.

Okay. I will try opening my happiness map.

Here's one to think about. The complicated life that is my commute.

On good days, I drive home with P. Mr. mouse comes homes. We play. Sometime around 8 we eat dinner. We play from 8:30 to whenever we get tired. We go to sleep.

On bad days or on mail days, Mr. mouse comes out to meet us at the train station. We go out to eat dinner. We drive home. We get from around 8:30 and play to whenever we get tired. We go to sleep.

So time-wise, we're time neutral, but I'm eating out more which is costs more and definitely doesn't help my Weight Watchers endeavor. I will say it is nice not dealing with the traffic.

So, is there a better solution for bad traffic days?

Let's focus on the 50-70 minute days. Note, that's just the time for the last leg. There's more driving to get to that point. If I leave school by 6 PM at the latest and drive home through the traffic, it would be just before 8 by the time I got home. If Mr. mouse had dinner ready by 8 PM, we'd be minus the play time, but back to the same point that we would have been on a good day. So, I would trade off play time for money and my health. Sadly, even if it's not the best answer for P, it might be the right answer for me.

If I leave work by 5 PM on the bad days, and leave school by 5:30, then this makes more sense.

Let's agree, the few 70+ minute days, this doesn't make sense. Those days, I need to think of a better solution.

So, instead of a Top 3 Update, I will try this. I will check the traffic by 5 PM. If it's greater than 50 minutes, I will leave a little early to pick up P and drive home. If it's less than 50 minutes, I will leave at my normal time to pick up P and drive home. If it's greater than 70 minutes, I will arrange with Mr. mouse to eat out and drive home.

Mail? Huh. Seems silly to add dinner out just to get mail. We could either pick it up on the way home which is a colossal hassle or we could let it build up and pick it up on a day we would have eaten out anyway.

Okay. Let's give it a whirl and see if it makes life any better.


Cheers!
mouse

Weight Watchers, Again

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm back on the tracking bandwagon. And, I'm going to turn Yoda on you.

Either do or not do, there is no try. (This inspired by P's latest saying - Yummy pizza you made, Daddy.)

I remember the last time on Weight Watchers. I lost 70 pounds. I did it. Not the program. The program gives you a structure or a framework, but it's not magic. I need to own this.

And, that's how I've been approaching it the past four days. Yes, I can eat pretzels and enter it in and theoretically the math should all work out. But, if I'm not really hungry, then I shouldn't be eating pretzels - program or no program.

Perhaps that's my approach. If I'm hungry, the points will keep me from overeating. If I'm not, then I shouldn't eat just because I have the points to. I know dire things are supposed to happen if you don't eat all of your points. And, I remember on the "old" program, especially as I got closer to my goal weight, becoming like a little miser with my points. Each one was precious. But, I also remember early on, not eating all of my weekly bonus points and nothing terrible happening.

So, here's to making it stick this time.


Cheers!
mouse

Potty Training

Dear Friends and Family,

The things you're reduced to when you're a parent...

Do we go cold turkey on P and put her in underwear? Or do we continue to current saga of pull-ups? P doesn't like the potty. She'll use it if we press her, but she's not a big fan. I think it's because it tends to be messier than the diaper. And, she's had a diaper for as long as she can remember, and she doesn't understand why things can't just stay the way they are.

So, she's gotten into the habit of going RIGHT before potty. And, then giving us the "I tried" response to potty. Logically, then, the alternative to potty has to be something she likes even less than potty, which might be wet underwear. I don't think P will be a big fan of wet underwear.

Do we go cold turkey? Perhaps February is a good time. We don't have any big weekend plans. We'll work through our current supply of diapers. P will mature a little bit more.


Cheers!
mouse

01.03.12: Week Long Vacation

Dear Friends and Family,

In case you were wondering, we took a most wonderful week off from work and life. Sometimes, I think, if the time leading up to Christmas wasn't as stressful as it is, then I wouldn't need as much time to recuperate.

We opened presents with P on Friday morning. And, honestly, she was absolutely thrilled after opening her stocking - a Lego police officer and police dog that she can use in her airport security, a set of dice that she can use to make up stories, a key chain and a page of stickers. Thrilled. And, it made me wonder, why we had a deluge of gifts by the tree for her. I'm glad she's easily satisfied.

The rest of Friday as a flurry of packing. Then, we flew to Mr. mouse's folks' house. P was terrified of the cat (no surprise) and of Mr. mouse's step-sister-in-law (big surprise), but enjoyed her time with her grandparents.

Saturday, we indulged in diner food, took P to a park with a merry-go-round where we spent some creative time riding a turtle to random places her imagination dictated (a pond in Arizona with ducks was one example), began the process of returning gifts, and had dinner with Mr. mouse's dad and step-mom.

Sunday, we had brunch before heading over to see my parents and brother. P had a ball going out to the "slide park" with her uncle. And, dinner was a quiet affair at home.

Monday, we went to the park again - this time with my mom. Then, we went to a diner for lunch. And, we were going to head out to see the tree, but P was tired so we headed home. Dinner, we ate out.

Tuesday, we went to the park again. Then, we packed and my mom drove us to the airport. And, we had a quiet flight home. I think P was ready for a couple of days of downtime after the excitement and hyper-attention of spending time with grandparents.

Wednesday and Thursday, we packed P off to school and took time to get the house in order.

The living room looks amazing. I have three more file drawers to go through and the tree needs to come down soon, but other than that, it looks better than it has in the past two years.

The play area, computer area, and kitchen don't look much different. But, that's to be expected since I decided to focus on those areas which never get any attention.

Our room looks a ton better than it used to. We organized and packed away all of P's old clothes and shoes. We put all of P's books back on her shelf. And, we put away a bunch of old blankets we had piled in various stages of petrification. Oh, and I donated some clothes that I never liked.

P's room also looks a ton better. I donated some clothes that I never liked. We packed away all of the old clothes. We put all of the books back on the shelf. And, I removed a table that we no longer needed - less temptation to leave something without the horizontal surface.

And, P's bathroom. We donated three shopping bags full of hotel soap and shampoo and conditioner to a house that helps women and needs travel-sized samples of stuff. Yes!

Last, but not least, the basement. Actually, the basement took a step backward because we moved stuff down there that needed to go down there, but haven't stacked any of it yet.

Two more days off would have been great, but I'm not complaining about the progress we did make.

Friday, we took P bowling and then to the outlet malls for more returns and exchanges. Saturday, we had a normal day with a trip to the park and the library and breakfast followed by time at home, a walk with Mr. mouse and dinner at home.

Sunday and Monday, we took P to a hotel for some pool time. The pool was closed on Christmas so we promised a make-up pool day. We had a great room with a view of the train tracks (that P loved) and of downtown (that I loved) and two days of pool. P and I also had fun on the couch which turned into a spaceship - set your destination, pick your spacesuit color, buckle up, count down, blast off, drive, arrive, repeat.

And, now, it's Tuesday, and I'm off to work and P is off to school. Back to the routine. Happy 2012!


Cheers!
mouse

Too Much Fun

Dear P,

It's January 1, 2012. And, there are times I wish we could stop time and enjoy now for eternity. It's such a fun age with you and the only things stopping us from stopping time are the sad fact that even if we wanted to we can't and the happy fact that there have been times in the past when we've wanted to stop time and have been surprised at how much happiness the future holds.

You are at that magical juncture of growing into a little child - holding conversations and listening and learning and following directions. We sing songs together, we laugh together, we make up stories together. Yet, at the same time, you're still a cuddly toddler - giving hugs and kisses and declaring I love you and I need you in the sing song voice you have.

I know this next year will bring you one year closer to growing into a little girl, but for now, I am enjoying the sweet joy of you just the way you are.


Love,
Mommy