Thinking about Life after Work

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, I found myself thinking a lot about life after work. I think the first thing I would do on day 1 is go for a walk. And, perhaps I'd go for a walk the next day. And, perhaps I'd go for a walk on the day after that. And, after a week of walking, I may decide to continue walking or not. I think the time walking would be valuable to wrap my head around everything. There's a lot to wrap my head around.

But, I think it'd be a good thing - for me, for Mr. mouse, for P.

I went to bed early. My eyes were bothering me. My heart was bothering me. But, I woke up feeling better, for today.

Let's see what my thyroid levels are next week when I have my doctor's appointment. Perhaps I'll stay at work. Perhaps I'll go for a walk.


Cheers!
mouse

Probable Inflection Point

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm feeling worse today.

I have my presentation tomorrow. I found out there will be changes in my management structure. I have sadly come to the realization that one of my partners is completely useless and he's essential to making my work happen.

What I am sadly realizing is that my current job will eventually drive me back into full fledged hyperthyroidism. Is my current job worth getting back on medicine?

No. My current job is not worth getting back on medicine. If that's what my doctor says, I will hand in my resignation.

On a positive front, I got insurance today! Well, I asked them to start the policy on 1/1/13. And, I still need to find worker's compensation. But, I have general liability and that's a step forward on my idea.

Perhaps this is all a good thing.


Cheers!
mouse

More Ugh

Dear Friends and Family,

Team presentation tomorrow. Senior leadership presentation Thursday. Not ready.

Ugh.

To do list is a million miles long. Mr. mouse is working late twice this week.

Ugh.

I crossed off one item on the list yesterday. I took the umbrella in from outside. I broke the umbrella in the process. I need to throw the umbrella out. Yay. Not really crossed off of the list.

Ugh.

I tried to cross another item off of the list. But, all I ended up doing was requesting a pin that takes 5-10 days to be mailed to me. Excellent. Not really crossed off of the list.

Ugh.

Tonight, while I have P on my own, and my work piles up, I will try to cross two more items off of my list. We'll see.


Cheers!
mouse

11.26.12: Ugh

Dear Friends and Family,

It's great to have almost a week off. It's nice to relax and sleep and play with P and eat and enjoy the unseasonably warm weather. And, then, reality strikes.

Applications. Holiday prep. Race to the end of the year.

Unfortunately, I need to head out early today so I can't really write. And, I'm sure it's going to be an obnoxious week at work. There are no words.


Cheers!
mouse

Goal: 52 Things Will Leave the Mouse Pad Update

Dear Friends and Family,

I am going to try and have 52 things meaningfully leave the mouse pad this year. What do I mean by meaningfully? No, it doesn't mean I'm giving away things loaded with meaning. It means it's purposeful decisions to remove something that has found a home in our home. In other words, clearing out old bananas doesn't count, they never found a home. Clearing out old toys counts since they would linger in the basement given no active actions on our parts.

The List (most recent departures listed first):

1. It's not a glamorous add. A cookie sheet. It's old and stained and apparently we have a new one that's nothing short of amazing. So, I discreetly put the cookie sheet by the garbage and so far Mr. mouse hasn't objected.
2. You thought I had forgotten about you, didn't you? Actually, I've just been too busy. This one is a simple one. One evening, I needed a hangar to hang up some pants. There were no obvious empty hangars. I think Mr. mouse had brought them all down to fold laundry. So, I took three t-shirts that were languishing in our closet and took them down to the donate bag in the garage. Three down. Something like twenty or forty more t-shirts to go.
3. This one hasn't been in the house all that long. But, minus active actions on our part, I could see myself having to deal with it sometime in the far future. It's an umbrella. I bought it for P for her third birthday because that's what she wanted for her birthday - chocolate cake and an umbrella. But, it turned out to be much too big for her. Since I bought it from some small store in Oregon (online), returning it seemed like more bother than it was worth. Our friend, Gracie, said she would take it. She likes it. Win. Win.
4. My college graduation gift from my parents. Actually, it might also have been a house warming gift from my parents for my new apartment, my first home outside of theirs. Sounds like something you should keep forever, doesn't it? Except, it's a 27" tube TV that we no longer watch. We finally recycled it this weekend when our friends were over, since we could fit it in their truck.
5. I don't even know where to begin. It started this morning, when I went upstairs to put the floss away and I realized the area under our sink was a disaster. First, there were the seven plastic bins, packed with stuff, piled up to the top of the cabinet, three on one side of the sink and four on the other side of the sink. Then, there was stuff wedged on top of the bins and piled all around the bins. I can't count each individually or this list would grow well beyond the 52 goal, but it seems like it should count for more than one entry. I know, I'll count it by the bagful of junk I threw out. The first bag was filled with expired stuff like sunscreen and eye drops.
6. The second bag was filled with stuff we don't use anymore like (expired) rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide.
7. The third bag was junk junk like plastic bags, leaking mouthwash, empty containers. And, what's left looks so much better. Three plastic bins on the left (from bottom to top): teeth, first aid, travel. And, on the right hand side: bathroom supplies, more unopened supplies, and more unopened supplies. In the middle? One open bin with the remaining partially used, not expired, still useful supplies, like sunscreen and bug spray and lotion.
8. burp cloths... Ask me why it was so difficult letting these go and I will not be able to give you a good answer. They were piled on P's dresser. I internally debated giving them to my sister. I kept them in March. This time, I bit the bullet and put them in the bag for my sister. I kept 4. I gave her 8.
9. diaper bag... This one is comical because my sister gave me the diaper bag when we were expecting P. Now that P is potty trained, we've been using a smaller bag. And, even if it was from my sister, I put it in the bag for her.
10. random pile of stuff on the stairs to the deck: put the gardening tools and extension cord back in the garage, put the slippers with the other slippers, brought down an anonymous faucet head for Mr. mouse to assess, left the flashlight, and last but not least, threw out a pair of old shoes and a bag of rusty nails.
11. junk: old swimsuit
12. baby gear: 2 old breast pumps, one box
13. junk: peg toy we inherited (missing pegs)
14. toy: set of giant pipe cleaners
15. junk: Halloween themed cup and five empty boxes
16. baby gear: two booster seats
17. book: Cooking for Baby
18. toy: toy computer
19. toy: baby animal puzzle
20. toy: bird house with four plush birds
21. toy: Mega Blocks table and blocks
22. junk: 4 planters, 1 watering can
23. useful, just not for us: 1 hose reel, 2 hoses
24. useful, just not for us: P's toddler pool
25. junk: 2 rusty lounge chairs, 1 stool
26. junk: 4 solar lights that no longer light
27. junk: a bucket and a lid
28. useful, just not for us: a basket
29. books: Gone with the Wind, Brave New World
30. toy: Mr. Potato Head MLB edition
31. baby gear: the Boppy
32. odds and ends: new drawer used for kitchen towels
33. odds and ends: guest bathroom counter
34. useful, just not for us: crock pot
35. useful, just not for us: hurricane with almond candle
36. junk: old bath salts and perfumes
37. baby gear: foam roll
38. baby gear: 256 2 oz breast milk storage containers
39. toy: truck (combo riding and push toy)
40. toy: dog security blanket
41. toy: battery-operated toy train
42. toy: stacking pyramids
43. toy: hammer and eight nails
44. useful, just not for us: cane

We'll see if I can get to 52 this year. I'm cautiously optimistic.


Cheers!
mouse

11.23.12: Oops

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday. Where did the week go?

First, let's start with the weekend. We flew down to see old friends and a new auto race. The weather couldn't have been better. The race was well run. It was fabulous seeing our friends. I ate too much barbecue.

Monday, we spent the morning with our friends. Afterwards, we went to a park to let P play. We went for ice cream. Then, we drove to the airport to fly home.

Tuesday, Mr. mouse dropped P off at school and I spent the day home. What'd I do with my free time? I continued looking for insurance. I cleaned house. I read. I watched a little TV. I got my nails done. Not a stunning day, but nice to not go to work.

Wednesday, I stayed home with P. We made bread. We ate breakfast. We fixed her crown. We bought a microwave. We bought groceries. We ate lunch. We went to the park. We napped. A most excellent day.

Thursday, poor P. Mr. mouse and I tag teamed playing with P and cooking. She didn't have much interest in the food and got a little bored.

Unfortunately, the list of things that need to be done this weekend is long and most of it isn't stuff P's interested in. And, in the mean time, I feel work piling up. I'm afraid of Monday, partly because I didn't finish up stuff that needed finishing up before I left on Friday.

Last, but not least, I'm not feeling well. The stress of work and the stress of cooking and the heat from the oven and eating out over the weekend have all combined to make me feel like I'm hyperthyroid again. I had the shakes on Tuesday. I had the shakes on Wednesday. And, Thursday and Friday, I'm feeling hot again. Phone calls last night for work sitting next to a hot oven probably hasn't helped any.

Time to take a step back and relax. In a simpler world, I would have slept in this morning instead of crawling out of bed for a 3:30 conference call. I just need to remind myself, that, hopefully, by this time next year, I will be living in a simpler world.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: What am I thankful for? P (it goes without saying) and Mr. mouse, the health and happiness of my friends and family, Baby Preston, being able to save for retirement, being able to tread water, President Obama getting reelected, and my trip to Easter Island.

Puzzled

Dear Friends and Family,

They just announced a new room at P's school. I'm stumped. The infant rooms are at 50% capacity. The older rooms are all right at capacity. Where are all these new four year old kids going to magically come from? And, even if they did appear out of the woodwork, what's wrong with the current two rooms?

I guess we have four teachers in the three year old rooms, while the four year old rooms only have three teachers, so perhaps that's why. But, not sure now's the time to be adding cost into the system. The school's been struggling financially which is why they opened it up to the community.

I think the former center director would have shuffled kids and teachers around to make it work. Like do you move one of the three year old teachers up with the kids to a four year old room? Just saying. I'm not crazy about the new director. She's passable, but taking a while to warm up to.

All in all, one more reason we need to get P into a new school.


Cheers!
mouse

Slowing Experimenting

Dear Friends and Family,

Never one to leave well enough alone, I'm now slowly adding back in the things I eliminated from my diet. I'm beginning to feel cold and I'm beginning to feel tired so I don't want to diet myself into hypothyroidism.

Yesterday, I tried caffeine and I definitely felt a little bit of the shakes last night at dinner. So, I may have to resign myself to staying off caffeine. Honestly, the thing I miss most is soy. Not all soy. I miss:

1. soy sauce - it's in almost all Asian food
2. soy paper - because it's a sushi alternative to seaweed, it allows me to have vegetarian rolls
3. tofu - I don't eat it often, but it's something I like occasionally
4. miso - again, something I don't eat often, but something I like occasionally
5. soy milk - opens up the world of decaf cafe drinks since I'm caffeine free

So, perhaps I add soy sauce back in and limit my intake of the other soy products and see if I still feel okay.

I'm mentally wrapping my head around if this is cheating. I'm not allergic like people who are on a no gluten diet. My body still needs some iodine. I'm trying to convince myself this isn't weakness or lack of discipline. This is me trying to figure out what the right level of iodine is to feel good.

I know. I'll add soy sauce without adding anything else and I'll see how I feel.


Cheers!
mouse

School Tour This Morning

Dear Friends and Family,

We've got another school tour this morning. One more in December and then we're done with the school tours. Then, go through a marathon of applications and begin the parent meetings. I really do hope all of this is worth it.

Sometimes, when I see P sleeping in her crib (yes, she's still in her crib) with her legs tucked under her and her butt in the air, she's still my baby. Then, I see P in the mirror in my car as she's explaining some new solution to a problem she wants to solve, and then, she's my big girl. Somewhere in between those two, or maybe really, combining those two, is my kid.

Fingers crossed for this morning.


Cheers!
mouse

How Is It Thanksgiving Next Week?

Dear Friends and Family,

You blink and it's Thanksgiving. I don't know how that happens.

P is three and a half now. And, the time is beginning to fly so I'm going to take a moment to capture life today.

What do I love about having a three year old in the house? I love when P looks me in the eye and says I'll love you always and forever no matter what and then adds you'll always be in my heart and gives me a hug and a kiss. I love when I tell her that I can't carry her anymore because my back hurts (fabricated) and she rubs my back and asks me if it feels better. I love when she tries to problem solve - I told her the alleyway was full of glass and she offered up parking in the front in the evening to avoid the glass. I love her good manners. I love her smile. I love how proud she is of her accomplishments. I love listening to her sing in the car.

I know I'll miss being in the potty with her the few times she lets me accompany her. I know I'll miss the few times we have hydrolisys together since that's usually her time with Mr. mouse. I know I'll miss watching her slowly step out of the car when we get to school. I know I'll miss the happy face waving at me from the window when I drop her off at school. I know I'll miss the random games we play at night on the carpet and the negotiating to get her to the dinner table. I know I'll miss writing her name together at the end of the day. I know I'll miss the story before brushing teeth and the story after brushing teeth. I know I'll miss the tears when she's sad.

It happens so quickly. One day she'll be four and then she'll be five and then before we know it she'll be all grown up. Where does the time go? I'll have to enjoy every moment.


Cheers!
mouse

11.12.12: Survival Mode

Dear Friends and Family,

We went on a very quick trip this weekend to celebrate Mr. mouse's birthday. We flew out Saturday morning and flew back Sunday morning. In between, we had a ton of fun seeing old cars, letting the kids run around, doing block puzzles, and eating grilled meat.

All of the kids did a great job sharing their toys. I'll consider it a success.

Now, I just need to survive the next five days. Technically, I'm on vacation all of next week. We'll see if I can get enough done, or if I end up working next week.

Cheers!


mouse

Our Daughter, the Terrorist

Dear Friends and Family,

P has turned into a terrorist. When she doesn't get her way, she throws a tantrum. When she realizes I'm going to ignore her or that Mr. mouse is going to give her a time out, she stops. We've been trying to figure out how to prevent the onset, but as of now, we haven't solved that formula. We only know what to do once it's here.

I refuse to negotiate with her in the midst of her tantrum. I refuse to acknowledge her in the midst of her tantrum. I think it upsets her, but at some point the tantrum is over and she verbalizes whatever it is that she needed to get out. It's annoying as all get out to wait it out, but I refuse to give in.

I hope this phase passes soon.


Cheers!
mouse

Goal: 52 Things Will Leave the Mouse Pad Update

Dear Friends and Family,

I am going to try and have 52 things meaningfully leave the mouse pad this year. What do I mean by meaningfully? No, it doesn't mean I'm giving away things loaded with meaning. It means it's purposeful decisions to remove something that has found a home in our home. In other words, clearing out old bananas doesn't count, they never found a home. Clearing out old toys counts since they would linger in the basement given no active actions on our parts.

The List (most recent departures listed first):

1. You thought I had forgotten about you, didn't you? Actually, I've just been too busy. This one is a simple one. One evening, I needed a hangar to hang up some pants. There were no obvious empty hangars. I think Mr. mouse had brought them all down to fold laundry. So, I took three t-shirts that were languishing in our closet and took them down to the donate bag in the garage. Three down. Something like twenty or forty more t-shirts to go.
2. This one hasn't been in the house all that long. But, minus active actions on our part, I could see myself having to deal with it sometime in the far future. It's an umbrella. I bought it for P for her third birthday because that's what she wanted for her birthday - chocolate cake and an umbrella. But, it turned out to be much too big for her. Since I bought it from some small store in Oregon (online), returning it seemed like more bother than it was worth. Our friend, Gracie, said she would take it. She likes it. Win. Win.
3. My college graduation gift from my parents. Actually, it might also have been a house warming gift from my parents for my new apartment, my first home outside of theirs. Sounds like something you should keep forever, doesn't it? Except, it's a 27" tube TV that we no longer watch. We finally recycled it this weekend when our friends were over, since we could fit it in their truck.
4. I don't even know where to begin. It started this morning, when I went upstairs to put the floss away and I realized the area under our sink was a disaster. First, there were the seven plastic bins, packed with stuff, piled up to the top of the cabinet, three on one side of the sink and four on the other side of the sink. Then, there was stuff wedged on top of the bins and piled all around the bins. I can't count each individually or this list would grow well beyond the 52 goal, but it seems like it should count for more than one entry. I know, I'll count it by the bagful of junk I threw out. The first bag was filled with expired stuff like sunscreen and eye drops.
5. The second bag was filled with stuff we don't use anymore like (expired) rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide.
6. The third bag was junk junk like plastic bags, leaking mouthwash, empty containers. And, what's left looks so much better. Three plastic bins on the left (from bottom to top): teeth, first aid, travel. And, on the right hand side: bathroom supplies, more unopened supplies, and more unopened supplies. In the middle? One open bin with the remaining partially used, not expired, still useful supplies, like sunscreen and bug spray and lotion.
7. burp cloths... Ask me why it was so difficult letting these go and I will not be able to give you a good answer. They were piled on P's dresser. I internally debated giving them to my sister. I kept them in March. This time, I bit the bullet and put them in the bag for my sister. I kept 4. I gave her 8.
8. diaper bag... This one is comical because my sister gave me the diaper bag when we were expecting P. Now that P is potty trained, we've been using a smaller bag. And, even if it was from my sister, I put it in the bag for her.
9. random pile of stuff on the stairs to the deck: put the gardening tools and extension cord back in the garage, put the slippers with the other slippers, brought down an anonymous faucet head for Mr. mouse to assess, left the flashlight, and last but not least, threw out a pair of old shoes and a bag of rusty nails.
10. What do you call an old swimsuit missing one underwire? Junk, that's what you call it.
11. useful, just not for us: 2 old breast pumps, one box
12. junk: peg toy we inherited (missing pegs)
13. toy: set of giant pipe cleaners
14. junk: Halloween themed cup and five empty boxes
15. baby gear: two booster seats
16. book: Cooking for Baby
17. toy: toy computer
18. toy: baby animal puzzle
19. toy: bird house with four plush birds
20. toy: Mega Blocks table and blocks
21. junk: 4 planters, 1 watering can
22. useful, just not for us: 1 hose reel, 2 hoses
23. useful, just not for us: P's toddler pool
24. junk: 2 rusty lounge chairs, 1 stool
25. junk: 4 solar lights that no longer light
26. junk: a bucket and a lid
27. useful, just not for us: a basket
28. books: Gone with the Wind, Brave New World
29. toy: Mr. Potato Head MLB edition
30. baby gear: the Boppy
31. odds and ends: new drawer used for kitchen towels
32. odds and ends: guest bathroom counter
33. useful, just not for us: crock pot
34. useful, just not for us: hurricane with almond candle
35. junk: old bath salts and perfumes
36. baby gear: foam roll
37. baby gear: 256 2 oz breast milk storage containers
38. toy: truck (combo riding and push toy)
39. toy: dog security blanket
40. toy: battery-operated toy train
41. toy: stacking pyramids
42. toy: hammer and eight nails
43. useful, just not for us: cane

We'll see if I can get to 52 this year. I'm cautiously optimistic.


Cheers!
mouse

Four More Years

Dear Friends and Family,

I fell asleep in front of the TV so I missed the moment when Ohio was called for President Obama. But, I awoke to hear Mitt Romney's concession speech and I stayed awake for Obama's speech. I'm tired this morning, but it was worth it.

I'm glad that the Affordable Care Act will go into effect. I'm glad that we're willing to discuss raising taxes to pay for the deficit. I'm glad that women's health won't be relegated to odd people who say very odd things about things that don't impact their health directly. I'm glad that there's a decent likelihood that President Obama will get to name another justice to the Supreme Court.

And, I'm glad I didn't lose faith in 2004 when I awoke to a second Bush victory.


Cheers!
mouse

Hodge Podge of a Day

Dear Friends and Family,

What to write about today?

Mr. mouse and me? I don't know. I don't think it's healthy to dance around issues, let off steam by fighting, and then go back to "normal." It goes against everything I learned as an engineer. You know there's going to be repeat events.

The election? We voted early. The rest is in the hands of our fellow citizens. I'll be watching the news intently tonight. In case it's not obvious, we're a Team Obama household.

My thyroid? I had some lab work done over the weekend. I wasn't expecting news so quickly. But, the doctor's office called yesterday with my results. It's not a complete picture in that my first tests done in October only included one test, TSH, which measures your body's instructions to the thyroid. Higher TSH indicates the body is requesting more thyroid production. Lower TSH indicates the body is not requesting more thyroid production.

In my case, my TSH was rock bottom low. What happens next? The doctor then requests T3 and T4 level checks. That measures how much thyroid hormone the body is actually producing. The expectation is that T3 and T4 will either be normal in which case it's odd, but not a problem. Or, T3 and T4 levels will high (if the body is producing the hormone even if no one is requesting it) in which case it's most definitely a problem.

With me so far? I've had thyroid problems in the past. And, historically, when my TSH has been low, my T3 and T4 levels have been VERY high. I know what hyperthyroidism feels like. This time, when I measured my TSH levels in October, I was expecting it to be low, and it was low. Based on my symptoms at the time, I was expecting my T3 and T4 levels to be high, but since it wasn't tested I don't know if they were high.

Lately, though, I've been feeling somewhat better. And, when I went in for my tests this past weekend, I didn't know what to expect. Well, this time, my TSH is still low, although it's not as low as October. And, my T3 and T4 levels, while high, are within the normal range.

I need to call today to make a follow-up appointment. I guess I'll stay on my low iodine diet a little longer.


Cheers!
mouse

11.05.12: Angry

Dear Friends and Family,

When two people with strong personalities live together things are bound to get ugly sometimes. And, last night, it did.

I'm not going to go into the specifics of it here since I know it will come across as biased with me clearly in the right.

But, when we have arguments like these, I wonder, why are we together? Do other couples fight like we do? I thought I had married my best friend. But, sometimes it feels like I'm married to a complete stranger. Is this normal?

I know we're both under an extraordinary amount of admittedly self-induced stress. I know most normal people would have cracked long ago. I foolishly believe there's hope around the corner - that if we can get through whatever it is we're currently trying to get through, that peace and happiness and joy will come and blanket our lives in serenity.

Yet, when we get around the corner, I always seem to find another mountain to climb. This time it's school applications. Next time it'll be something else, like work. I know I'm in for a change once P starts school.

So, I'm angry and tired and bitter. Last night I felt my heart racing and I know that's not good for my health. And, I know I'll be angry for awhile.

Perhaps I'd be happier without Mr. mouse.


Cheers!
mouse

Delinquency Unit, Department of Revenue

Dear Friends and Family,

It's never a good thing when you get a letter in the mail with the line, if you do not act now, we may take collection action without further notice to you. Never a good thing.

So, I called to find out what I had done wrong. The person on the phone was very helpful. I filled out the paperwork online last night. Except, by accident I filled out Q1 2011 and Q2 2011. Then, I realized I was in the wrong year and I filled out Q1 2012, Q2 2012 and Q3 2012.

I'll call today to find out what I should do about Q1 2011 and Q2 2011.

Learning by doing.


Cheers!
mouse

Progress, Of Sorts

Dear Friends and Family,

After four drafts, we submitted P's first school application. We need to call today to schedule the parent interview. One down, six to go.

Halloween is behind us. Goody bags distributed. Candy collected. Dogs avoided. Pictures taken. It was fun.

P's shoes, winter coat, and snow pants arrived in the mail. Disaster averted.

Sneakers are on order. Ink is on order.

What's ahead of us in November? Two more school tours. Three more applications. Snow tires. Soap.

Hmmm... This is beginning to feel suspiciously like a Top 3 Update. Except, I don't think I have time for a full fledged update.

1. school admissions
2. winter/holiday preparation
3. November weekends

That's it. That's all I can handle. I'll assume low iodine is a priority, but doesn't take any additional work on my part outside of the blood work and potential endocrinologist visits.


Cheers!
mouse