Mouse Brain Vomit

Dear Friends and Family,

I won't say it's all better, but it's definitely a brighter day than it was yesterday. I haven't forgiven Mr. mouse and we still need to work through whatever it is that got him to the point he got to on Sunday, but at least we've walked away from the edge of the cliff.

If he can't verbalize what got him there or if we can't figure out a way to prevent future incidents, then this may quickly go sour again, but for now, I'm going to wait a little bit and give him the chance to think and figure out what happened.

Because, if it's really about me hanging up the phone to call my mother back instead of spending the time then and there to figure out how to disable speakerphone, then we've got BIGGER issues.

In the mean time, since I've asked Mr. mouse to come up with a list of things he is unhappy about and/or that make him angry, in all fairness, I've decided to come up with a similar list.

in random threads

being tired, being over goal weight, feeling out of shape, achy joints, achy neck, achy back, no clothes that fit, humid summer days

bad commutes, when my boss acts like a putz, when the numbers are all wrong, not having an analyst, everyone leaving work, no bonus, no raise, no promotion

when P is whiney, when I battle P, listening to Mr. mouse battle P

all the junk in the house

school planning (because it's so tightly tied to work)

not having time alone with Mr. mouse, not being able to have an adult conversation with Mr. mouse

when Mr. mouse tells me what to do, when Mr. mouse is patronizing, when Mr. mouse interrupts me, when Mr. mouse corrects me, when Mr. mouse assumes I can read his mind

not having free time, being over scheduled, not having time alone

spending too much money

Mr. mouse dominating P's time when we're all together

Well, that's a longer list than I realized.

There's stuff on it we can tackle together. I know one of his buttons is when I get loud.

I think I know why I get loud.

I get loud because I want him to hear that I'm purposefully not doing whatever he's got in his head that I need to do (this is a bad habit of his father's). I get loud when he's patronizing because I think it's obnoxious. I get loud when I get interrupted because I want to continue what I'm saying. I get loud when I get corrected (this isn't over factual stuff, but over opinions, and my opinion counts too). I get loud when he assumes I can read his mind because I can't and then I'm frustrated and then I'm loud.

Now, it's not like he's doing all of the above 100% of the time. Seems chunkable.

And, last but not least, I don't like that he dominates P's time when we're all together. I'm not sure I ever told him that, since I just realized it myself last night. This one I need to stew on a little longer.


Cheers!
mouse