Mom of the Year

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm ashamed to admit it, but last night I lost it and yelled at P. She was tired and fidgeting and dwaddling and bossy, but I should have been a bigger person. I was anxious to get her asleep so that she would be less tired, fidgety, dwaddly today. And, I was anxious because my new work has been trying. And, as a result, I lost it.

We were in the bathroom, and P was doing her usual thing wasting time, and I started jumping up and down and yelling at the top of my lungs. It wasn't my finest moment.

I apologized. I held her. I told her stories. She was asleep in less than 15 minutes.

I still feel bad. But, I've promised myself I will have better control going forward.


Cheers!
mouse

40k Mileage Work

Dear Friends and Family,

I've got to go in five minutes to get ready for the day. I've got a 7 am appointment at the auto dealer to get the car looked at. I'm bringing my laptop, but I'm not optimistic I'll be able to get online while I'm there. Hopefully I can get online and be productive. If not, I'll be stuck between watching bad TV or heading out in forty degree rain to run errands by mass transportation. Wow, do those two options sound not appealing.

Welcome to my new world.


Cheers!
mouse

Wednesday is Still Hump Day

Dear Friends and Family,

You'd think now that I'm working from home the days might be different. But, they're not. Wednesday is still the middle of the week. Sunday, I organize my week and set expectations. Monday, I try and get as much done as humanly possible to set myself up for the week. Tuesday, I sometimes go easy on myself after a busy Monday. Wednesday, I try to get more progress. Wednesday seems to be the day that defines how much progress I make in a week. Thursday, I finish off things I started earlier in the week. Friday, I intentionally leave blank.

This week, I wanted to do two things:

1. recover from the party: I felt like it's been two months of "one thing after another" and I wanted to use this week to get the house back in order. There's things that need to be put back. There's things that need to be returned. There's things everywhere.
2. get contol of the nows: In addition to the house being a disaster, my to do list became a disaster. So, I wanted to use this week to get that under control as well.

Let's see what I can accomplish today since Wednesday is hump day after all.


Cheers!
mouse

Transitioning to Normal

Dear Friends and Family,

There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Today, my mom heads home. We have swim class. We have P's five year old appointment. P has a cold she's working her way through. One of her friends is coming over because her babysitter is unavailable and her parents are traveling. Doesn't sound normal at all, does it?

But, it's a start. And, most importantly, between now and two o'clock (when I leave for pick-up) I can begin to transition back to normal daytime activities. It's a start.


Cheers!
mouse

05.12.14: Birthday Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

We woke Saturday morning to a birthday double header. P's friend's party was in the morning and P's party was in the afternoon. All the parents dutifully got their kids ready for back to back birthday parties and the parents and kids were troopers in getting through the day. Fortunately, the weather was great, so we had a little after-party in the park and an even longer after-party on our deck.

I enjoyed P's party thoroughly. The only tough part was trying to find time to spend with all of the disparate groups of people. There's P's school friends, her old school friends, one friend whose parents work with Mr. mouse, one friend whose parents I used to work with, one friend whose parents I used to work with but not at the same time as the other friend I used to work with, and the list goes on. If they all knew each other then they can all talk together. But, since they don't, I felt a little like a person at a wedding trying to get a few words in with each group. Still, I enjoyed it and I'm hoping the kids and the parents did as well.

Sunday was a quieter day. We went to church and the park. We opened presents and let P play with her crutches. We went out for dinner. We forgot to do her hand prints, foot prints, and height chart. I guess we'll have to do those this week.

And, now, we have a five-year-old in the house. She's a big kid now. And, I've got a semi-normal week ahead of me. Actually, it's not really a semi-normal week. It's actually quite packed. But, it's more normal than any week has been since mid-March so I'll take it. Time to try and catch up from the mountain of stuff I've been putting off.


Cheers!
mouse

Five Years Old Today

Dear P,

P, you're turning five today. In five years you'll be turning ten. Then, in ten years you'll be twenty. I know that seems like forever away when you're five, but from my end it looks like it could happen in the blink of an eye.

I still remember falling in love with you that night holding you in the hospital. I remember how small you were and how trusting you were and how much help you needed. And, while you're so much bigger now, you're still so trusting and you still need help, although it's a different kind of help now.

I can't help feeling like we're closing the chapter on "little kid" and opening a new chapter on "big kid." The next five years will hold lots of fun, but I can't imagine how they could possible compare to the first five. Actually, you know I say that, but in reality, each time I thought that, I've been wrong. Each time, it does compare, in a different way, and in hindsight I wouldn't change it for the world. But, at the cusp, I always wonder how it could possibly compare.

I'm looking forward to the summer together. I'm looking forward to time spent on the beach building sand castles. I'm looking forward to hearing about camp. I'm looking forward to having time together to work on academics. I'm looking forward to play dates. I'm looking forward to dinner together on the roof. I'm looking forward to cuddling together with you on Friday nights. There's so much we can do together. And, then, before you know it, it'll be September and you'll be off to kindergarten.

I hope you like kindergarten as much as you've liked junior kindergarten. Unlike a lot of moms from your old school, I'm not as scared. We went through the big transition last year together - new school, new teachers, new schedule, and most importantly, new friends. And, fortunately for us, we had a great year.

P, I feel like I need to take a moment to tell you how proud I am of you. You're gentle and trusting. You're generous and kind. You're open and honest. You listen. You learn. You're adventurous. You're happy. You're smart. You're fast. You're strong. You're everything I could have ever asked for in a kid. And, I am honored to be your mom.


Love,
your mom

PS: If I seem a little sad today, it's only because I sometimes wish we could slow down time and enjoy each moment for just a little longer.

Understanding Inefficiencies

Dear Friends and Family,

I never understood how productive an office environment is compared to a non-office environment until now. In my former life, I could have 8 one hour meetings, 4 thirty minute meetings, 4 hallway conversations, and maybe a few good email threads worked into the mix. That means, in any given day, I got about 20 things done. Now, on a good day, I get three to five things ticked off my list.

What happened? Well, a lot of things happened. First, my day shrunk. My effective day starts at 9 am and ends at 2 pm because outside of that I am spending time with P. While I like spending time with P, it's not realistic to think I will be productive in working through other tasks when I'm with her. Otherwise, I'm not really spending time with her. I'd be doing my thing and she'd be watching me do my thing.

So, five hours instead of ten. That alone will take twenty items down to ten.

On top of that, there's the travel element. I know it takes two minutes to walk to a particular conference room. I don't leave until two minutes before the meeting, I walk, I show up right on time, zero wasted time. Now, I might be headed to a place 20-30 minutes from where I am. Since I'm not sure of the time, a 30 minute trip can take mean leaving 35-40 minutes before hand. Add one or two travel times into the mix and my effective day goes from five hours down to four hours, or eight tasks.

Then, add in dead time because I'm no longer sure of how long each task will take. An oil change can take 30 minutes or it can take an hour like it did last time. A doctor's appointment can take 30 minutes or it can take two hours like it did last time. Dead time is a productive black hole. Add in 30 minutes of dead time per trip and four hours is down to 2.5 hours easy. Now, it's easy to see how I get three to five things done a day instead of 20. Welcome to my new level of productivity.

My three tasks for today? Get mail. Pick up party supplies. Wrap presents. I had to wait until now, 10:30, to get mail, to avoid traffic. I'll get the mail by 11:30, party supplies by 12. I'll be home by 1, wrap presents by 1:30, and then I'm off get P by 2. See, three tasks. I'll squeeze in gas to get it up to 4.


Cheers!
mouse

Gearing Up for the Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Thursday. P's party is on Saturday. And, we've still got a ton left to do which is not typical of us. Normally, we have this stuff buttoned away weeks in advance. But, this year, somehow April slipped away from us and we're now in scramble mode.

Wait. I know what happened to us. P had spring break. I lost my job. I quit my job. I spent a week catching up from two weeks of break and two weeks of drama. My parents came over. And, now it's two days before the party.

I also know what else happened. Mr. mouse and I do not do well in planning events together. We get mired in administrivia like what exactly goes in the favor bags. Will it be m&m's or dark chocolate m&m's? Really. Brown chocolate frosting or black butter cream frosting took WAY longer than I thought it should since P made clear she wanted a chocolate cake. How did black butter cream even make it onto the ballot? It must be because it looks better with the design P wants. Still. She wants a chocolate cake so anything that is not chocolate shouldn't even be part of the discussion. Now, if we had a choice of black chocolate or brown chocolate, I'd choose black chocolate. But, I digress.

We're two days away which means we need to start getting to done on some of this stuff. All I know is that between now and Saturday it will all get done and we will be able to enjoy the party.


Cheers!
mouse

Little Fish, Hopefully

Dear Friends and Family,

P had her first swim class yesterday. And, it went swimmingly.

She went in the pool. She did all the things the teacher asked of her. She enjoyed it. I have to say, it makes me a little giddy. I grew up loving the water and to see P in the water... well, I couldn't be happier.


Cheers!
mouse

Day Full of Opportunity

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday. It's sunny out. P is on her way to school with Mr. mouse. And, I've got the day to myself. It feels like a day full of opportunity.

No time like the present to dive into the day.


Cheers!
mouse

05.05.14: Reunion Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

Because there's not enough going on in my life, I had reunion this past weekend.

Friday morning I had breakfast with a friend. Then, I had lunch with a friend. Then, I was ready to skip the evening events. But, my friend from lunch convinced me to go. And, I'm so glad I did. A lot of my friends from school were out for dinner and at a bar afterwards. It was SO good to catch up with them.

Saturday, I went to a couple of classes, heard the dean's update, took the class picture, and went to the reunion picnic. P came out for the picnic and got the fanciest face painting possible. We actually let her sleep in it for one night, but it had to come off for school today. I skipped the dinner on Saturday night and spent the time with P and Mr. mouse. I think I was reunioned out after Saturday.

Sunday, I went to church. Then, we went to the museum for the day. P ran into a school friend at the museum. We spent the evening watching ants eat ant bait. It was fascinating in a gross kind of way.

And, now, we're in for the big push. This weekend is P's birthday. This means we have to finish preparing everything and order the rest of P's presents. I wish we were a little more organized. I blame old work and grandpals day and reunion and over-scheduling. I'm still glad we went to reunion.


Cheers!
mouse

Overscheduled

Dear Friends and Family,

I just need to get through today and some sanity will return to my life.

Yesterday, I dashed out the door with P and Mr. mouse. We went on our field trip which was awesome. I stayed for lunch duty. I dashed back for lunch with a friend. I dashed back for pick up. We had dance.

Today, I have breakfast with another friend. Then, I need to dash to pick up mail. Then, I need to dash to lunch with a third friend. Then, I need to dash to school for a sing along special in the classroom. Then, I can relax for the afternoon. Except, I need to figure out when to order P's birthday present. Then, I can relax for the afternoon.

Next week and the week after will be hectic with P's birthday and my mom visiting. Then, then, I think I can get a break. Then, I can really relax.

I need to learn to not over schedule. Then, I can really relax. Except I like to see my friends and they seem to come in waves.


Cheers!
mouse

Field Trip!

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm going on a field trip! I'm going on a field trip! I'm going on a field trip!

Can you tell I'm excited? It's the main thing I was upset about with leaving old work. I thought I had missed all of the field trips. But, fortunately for me, there's two more and I'm going on one today.

Sometimes, you need to focus on the positives like today's field trip and not on the negatives like the missed field trips.

I'm going on a field trip! I'm going on a field trip! I'm going on a field trip!


Cheers!
mouse

Clutter Diet, Mouse-Sized Bites

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Wednesday and I'm feeling good.

I've been working on a project, outside of my blog, to work on the clutter in the house. Whenever I get the urge, but at least once a week, I pick five items to evict from our house. Five isn't intimidating. Five isn't too much of a commitment. Five doesn't feel like I'm parting with anything too dear. And, five is easy to count once the photos start adding up.

I've compiled 22 pictures so far which means 110 items have made their way out of our house. You know the funny thing? I don't miss any of it. You know the sad thing? I don't see much of a difference in the house yet. I'll continue since it certainly can't be hurting and for now it's amusing.

I wonder what the final tally would be. I wouldn't be surprised if it's in the thousands. Yes, I wouldn't be surprised if it's in the thousands. I'm hoping by then I'll see more of a difference in the house.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 15: Pulse Check

Dear Friends and Family,

Fifteen days - that's roughly three weeks. How am I doing? Surprisingly, I think I'm doing okay.

I don't have much emotion either positive or negative towards old work. I feel like I still have my friends through Facebook. I don't know a lot about what has happened to my old role or the actual work I was working on. But, perhaps that's what it feels like to walk away from your last full-time job under complicated circumstances. Perhaps it'll take awhile for me to process all of it and definitively feel one way or another about it. For now, I don't feel anything.

How do I feel about my days? Well, I'm wrapped up in preparing for P's birthday party. I have a new habit strategy that I'm still trying out. I'm ecstatic that I get to go on a field trip with P this Thursday. And, while I don't feel delight with my new routine, I do appreciate trying to build one.

So, overall, I'd say I don't feel any big emotion. I think I'll turn the page and close out this transition. Life in general, ready or not, here I come.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 14 and the Weekend: Fortunately I Didn't Deck my Dad

Dear Friends and Family,

Friday wasn't the best start to the weekend. We had a peaceful morning. My parents left to visit P's school. I had some time to myself. Where it hit a speed bump was when I went to pick up P after school. Out of nowhere my Dad is full of parenting advice. I'm sorry, getting parenting advice from my Dad is like getting anger management advice from a psychopath.

Well. I almost decked him. He just couldn't shut his pie hole. Really.

We made it through the evening in one piece. And, I dropped them off at the airport on Saturday morning. And, the trip goes down in history as a great trip, one everyone enjoyed, a thorough success - because that's how we roll. P loved it and my parents loved it. And, that's all that matters since they visited to see her and see her school.

Saturday. We went to see School House Rock, just the three of us. We really enjoyed it. Then, P had a play date with two friends and I had time with the two moms. The moms had a great time. P had some rough spots with one friend. I hate to say it, but I don't think she likes her friend as much as I like her friend's mom. We may need to figure out how to navigate that one.

Sunday. We went to church. We went to a baseball game. We went to a birthday party. I had fun. P had fun. Mr. mouse had fun. P got her face painted. I got my face painted. She got two balloon friends - one alien named Ali and one Princess Sofia. She was ready to pop Ali when she got home because Sofia was done with Ali. I'm glad she's not attached to her balloon friends, but we saved Ali from the scissors for one more day.

And, now, it's Monday and I've got the day to myself. Unfortunately, it's raining all week which is a bummer. But, that's okay.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 13: Not Bad

Dear Friends and Family,

We made it through the day yesterday. Or, rather, I made it through the day yesterday. Breakfast was a tedious affair where my dad could not resist talking ad nauseum about whatever was on his mind. I think somewhere in there I agreed to become an accountant. I'm not sure.

But, after that, he read and my day improved markedly. I think I love my dad. It's just that we're nothing alike so it's an abstract love. I hope P's feelings for me are different from my feelings for my dad. Is that unfair? To hope that you kid loves you differently than you love your parents?

My mom got to watch P's dance class. She got to play with P all afternoon. She read to P before P fell asleep. She had a fabulous day.

I got somewhat caught up on my personal emails. It was a good day.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 12: How We Roll

Dear Friends and Family,

I'll be the first to admit it, my family brings out the worst in me.

Yesterday, my mom went on a church thing. Church is her number one priority. I get it. P and her cousin are somewhere in the top 5. My sister and I know we're somewhere on the list after our kids before chopped liver. Where on the list is always open to interpretation.

Back to yesterday. The weather for Thursday was looking questionable and flights were looking more questionable. And, I knew P would be crushed if her grandparents didn't make it out for school on Friday. So, I became antsy about my parents coming out. And, my mom is on a church thing and, of course, the cell phone reception is atrocious. So, I'm Little Miss Anxious all day about getting them out here. They're Mr. and Little Miss Scramble to make a flight last night, and, of course, a runway is closed and the flight was delayed until 10:30. And, my dad decides it's too late for dinner so he skips dinner which means he'll be a trial and a quarter this morning.

On top of all of this, my dad sprained his leg over the weekend so he can't really walk. Of course. Which means I'll be driving them to school and back on Friday. And, I'll be driving to the airport on Saturday morning. Of course.

And, if that wasn't enough, my dad needs special medicine that needs to be boiled in a non-metal container which they did not bring. Of course. I'm not sure if they forgot or if they assumed we had one. So, today, we're going on a scavenger hunt for such said vessel. Whoopee.

Like I said, my family brings out the worst in me. Wish me luck today.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 11: Time for a New Budget

Dear Friends and Family,

Another month, another credit card bill that blows my mind. We need a better system so I think for a month I may put us on a budget. That's usually enough to help us reset our spending habits. I may. I still need to think about it.

Yesterday, we had our year end conference with P's teacher. She's doing great academically. We'll continue to work on confidence and speaking out loud and flexibility. All in all, I'm happy so far with the choice we made for her school. She hasn't learned a lot new but that's typical of her trend. She has matured a ton emotionally and socially. I'm not sure if that's because she's almost five or it's because of school or some combination. Since we can't press the rewind button and repeat the year under a different set of circumstances, we'll have to assume it is some combination of the two and that school did play a role in it.

Yesterday, I also heard that the person who most probably picked my job for elimination is leaving old work. That would rankle me except in the same text message I also heard that a former colleague got promoted which only reinforces that it was time to be done with old work and move on to new work. I need to continue to put it all behind me.

Today, I've got time set aside to work on marketing which will be good. I've stayed on top of my lists so far. We'll see if I can continue to do that with my parents in town tomorrow.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 10: First Day Off and a New Top Three

Dear Friends and Family,

It didn't feel real. But, yesterday was my first day off.

I got through a lot of things that had piled up over the two week drama of leaving work. I paid my insurance bill. I took care of some licensing paperwork. I did an hour of billable work. I did payroll. It felt good.

I ate breakfast and lunch at home. I ate breakfast on the roof deck. I ate lunch in front of the TV. It felt good.

I made some progress on keeping the house in one piece. I worked on the photo album from spring break. It felt good.

Everything felt good. But, in the long run, I think I will need more than this to feel fulfilled. Tomorrow, I'm going to tackle marketing material. That'll feel good.

Perhaps what I need is a top three. Seems appropriate.

I've been working under the premise that getting all of my to dos done and the house in order will make me happy. Now, I'm wondering if that's enough. Or, if I need more than that. I think I need more than that.

So, let's assume that a house that is in order will make me happy because I know that a house that's not in order does make me unhappy. Perhaps I start from there. I know that once it's in order it's usually not difficult to maintain. So, maybe for now, I'll continue to work against getting the house in order.

The to do list. I guess I do get a sense of peace from having a completed to do list. Maybe I'll give this another week.

Which brings us to number three on the list. I guess this has to be new work. I need to focus on it even if it's hard and even if I'm a little scared. I know that this will make me feel fulfilled.

My list:

1. new work
2. the mouse pad
3. the to do list

Okay. That feels good.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 9 and the Weekend: Day with P and a Last Email Check

Dear Friends and Family,

I hardly remember Friday. I woke up and checked email one last time. Well, I checked two last times or it might have been three. Mostly, I was compulsively checking to see if anyone else had written a personal note. But, I didn't see any. So, I stopped checking and reminded myself that I need to be done.

P slept in until close to 10 AM. Then, we met up with one of her friends and went out for a play date. P was so excited about her new car seat. Her friend's mom and I are close friends so we spent the time chatting while the girls were playing. And, the play date turned into dinner. And, dinner turned into an evening play date where the four of us (the dads joined us) were able to chat while the girls were playing. It was good to be able to focus on stuff outside of my last day at work.

Saturday, we met up with friends for brunch. Then, we headed to the museum for another play date. The kids enjoyed the dinosaurs while the adults wondered what the museum would be like if it were run by Disney. After all, most people don't really get a lot out of seeing a fossilized leaf while a lot of people did get a lot of seeing an underwater simulation of life on Earth 4 billion years ago.

Sunday, we went to church. I got one of the last seats in the main mass. I ended up sitting next to a very charming man who knew a ton about the church and had a great singing voice. I do feel blessed that I found the church I found during our search for a school for P.

While I was at church, Mr. mouse was busy setting up the Easter egg hunt. This year, we opted to do an indoor hunt. Mr. mouse put out P's Easter basket. Then, he hid 23 eggs throughout the house. He brought one egg with a bucket, a poem filled with clues, and a set of bunny ears to the car. P was so excited on the way home after reading her poem. And, she shrieked as she ran through the house finding her eggs. It was worth the logistics of setting up a hunt. Perhaps we'll let the leprechauns visit our house next year.

And, now it's Monday. I can't say I feel a lot of emotion about leaving old work. It is what it is. I'm not upset. I'm not particularly happy. I'm not relieved. I'm not sure what I am. Perhaps I'll just need to let it sink in a little more.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 8: Walking Out

Dear Friends and Family,

It's truly over.

I turned in all my gear. I had all of my meetings. I had a going away lunch with my department. I spent extra time with my team in the afternoon. I walked through the halls and said bye to the people I saw. I walked out the parking garage. I left.

It's truly over unless something comes out of left field that I'm not expecting.

I think I know where the anxiety stems from now. When I left old old work I got walked. I expected to get walked on Monday and I was braced for it, but then they asked me to work my two weeks so after some cognitive dissonance I figured I was there for two more weeks. Then, Tuesday, I expected to be working, and HR changed their mind, and I got walked - and I wasn't emotionally braced for it.

So, I think, subconsciously, I was braced for anything for the time I had left at old work. I wasn't sure what could come out of nowhere to upset whatever expectations I had. But, in the end, nothing came out of nowhere. I left yesterday with no incidents.

The drive home was longer than I've had recently since I left closer to normal rush hour time. I met Mr. mouse and P for dinner. We came home. I read a book to P. I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up and went to bed. And, I woke up this morning feeling better.

A lot of it still doesn't feel real. And, I'm not quite ready to jump into things. But, I'm feeling less anxious than yesterday. Today, I've got time with P and her friend and her friend's mom who is a friend of mine. Tomorrow, I've got time with P and another friend and his mom who is also a friend of mine. Sunday, I have brunch with a close friend. I think all of that will help me feel more real. And, then, next week is next week and it will be better than this week.

I guess it's true. Time does heal all wounds even the ones that feel like they've already scabbed over and are beginning to itch.


Cheers!
mouse

Days 6 and 7: On Cruise Control

Dear Friends and Family,

It's come down to today.

I've got my corporate credit card and discount card in an envelope. I have a blackberry and a laptop that I turned off yesterday evening for the very last time. I have a piece of paper with my schedule on it for today. I have lunch at 12:30 and I'm free to leave anytime after that.

I'll pick up mail and get gas. I have tomorrow off with P.

I'm okay because I don't have an option to not be okay. I know inside there's some fairly high level of anxiety associated with this. I don't know why, but since I don't know what to do about it, I'm just going with it. I'm assuming tonight it'll all be behind me. Fingers crossed.

I have tomorrow off with P.

Next week starts a whole new adventure. As always there'll be no such thing as a routine that first week. My parents are coming in on Wednesday night and staying through Saturday morning, I think. So, I'll need to work around their schedule. I think the following week will be a routine week. I think. I hope.

Then, we'll go from there.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 5: Coffee with a Friend

Dear Friends and Family,

Last night, I went out for coffee with a friend. She also works at old work. And, after talking with her, it confirmed my realization I will not miss old work.

The only thing I regret in this whole thing is not quitting earlier. I wish I had just walked out the door in August. I shouldn't have stayed.

Mr. mouse told me that I had doubts last August, but I looked at my entries from August. I don't see doubt.

I shouldn't have stayed. In hindsight, I should have just left in August.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 4 and the Weekend: Day with P and a Small Lightbulb

Dear Friends and Family,

Friday, P had the day off from school.

We had a free pass to a museum and decided to invite P's close friend and her mom to join us at the museum. Since it cost us $0.00 to go to the museum, the pressure wasn't on for the kids to get anything out of it. They walked through one exhibit, ate lunch, watched the fish, walked through a Calder exhibit, read a book, and then left. And, that was fine with the other mom and me.

We bought souvenirs in the gift shop and went to the park across the street for some monkeying around. P and I took the bus home afterwards, stopping at our favorite ice cream shop to enjoy a little treat.

We spent the afternoon at home making necklaces and playing fairy. I have to say, I enjoyed the day. Minus a sleepy moment mid-afternoon, it was a relaxing time with P. I'll miss these moments when she's older. I'm glad I get to enjoy them now.

Saturday, we had a haircut which both P and I desperately needed. You can see her eyes now.

And, Sunday, I had the most interesting thought while at church. Several years ago, an analyst on my team had a dream. She dreamt I was Jesus Christ. And, yesterday, in church, I realized that was true. We all have a little Jesus in us. And, we all face situations we'd rather not face and deal with things we'd rather not deal with and some of it seems so senseless. But, in the end, we have to have faith that it'll will all make sense in the future and that the momentary pain is worth it.

Granted, Jesus was crucified and resurrected. And, this Friday is merely my last day at old work and this weekend is my chance to start a new chapter in new work. But, remember, I've only got a little Jesus in me. So, my life won't be as dramatic.

Still, I've got faith that come next week, the craziness of the past week and this week will all be behind me and it will have all been worth it.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 3: Taking Control

Dear Friends and Family,

I feel a lot better now. Yay!

I think what pissed me off the most about the whole thing was that I had bent over backwards to make things work for old work, missing school field trips with P, and to thank me for it they eliminated my job. I felt like my eyes had been opened, and I regretted my decision to stay in August, but it didn't matter, I couldn't change the past and the future had been set for me.

But, then, I asked a question that is indicative of me, I asked if I could still resign. Was it too late for me to voluntarily resign, on my own terms? And, my boss and human resources, both stumped, told me I could.

So, at least, for me, it's a voluntary resignation. After I realized I was mentally done, I got to resign. The fact that it took my job getting eliminated for me to realize how done I was is a sad piece of collateral damage.

I'm still waiting for all of it to become final. But, I feel like I'm in a better place than I was yesterday.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 2: Time to Start Telling Everyone

Dear Friends and Family,

Today, I head into the office. My computer is organized with just my work files on it. Turns out I had a couple of emails from Mr. mouse and my sheet that I was using to track my hours on it. Still, it feels better knowing I had a chance to check.

And, today, I start telling people starting with my immediate team and then my extended team and then my business partners and then my department.

I'm not sure, emotionally, where I'm at. I haven't felt any real depth of emotion about this since the initial panic followed by relief that I wasn't being walked from the building. I've felt a little numb. Perhaps this is normal. Time will tell.


Cheers!
mouse

Day 1: Processing

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, I went to see my boss for my regularly scheduled 1:1 and was told that my position had been eliminated. I'll be honest, I was panicked, not because my job had been eliminated, but because I had put off backing up my work computer. It was on my to do list for this week, to transfer anything personal off of it. I do it once a month. It's not a lot of stuff. Some months it's nothing. But, I was mentally kicking myself for not doing it on Monday and losing that. Yes, that's what I was worried about.

But, my boss told me that they were giving me two weeks. I'd have the time for an orderly transition. They weren't going to escort me out of the door that moment. Well, that gave me a giant measure of calm. I'm still going to back up my work computer between now and Thursday in case they change their mind.

Then, my boss told me I could manage my message. I'm inclined to tell everyone that after taking vacation I realized I was done with this work and needed more time to focus on my new work. I'm not ashamed of getting let go. It's not ideal, but it's not something I'm embarrassed about. I just can't stand the thought of people looking at me with pity. I can't stand pity.

I hope in a couple of years I can look back on this differently. In the end, I'm fine with the result. The way we got to the result is not ideal. In a perfect world, I would have been able to pick my own end date, of early July. I would have hired and trained my backfill. But, in this imperfect world, my end date is mid-April and there is no backfill. It'll probably bug me for a bit. Hopefully, after some time passes, it'll stop bothering me.

For now, I truly am excited to have time back during the week to do other things that make me happy. I can spend more time on new work, I can spend more time on the house, I can spend more time on my to list, and I can spend more time on my health. All good things. I should feel blessed. I will feel blessed.

I just need a little time to process it all.


Cheers!
mouse

Nightmares

Dear Friends and Family,

I rarely have dreams and when I do they're never good dreams. Usually, they're recurring nightmares so I know how to cope with them. They sometimes repeat verbatim. They sometimes follow certain themes.

Last night, I added a new dream to nightmare portfolio. I was at a train station with P. We had a lot of bags. It was crowded. P found the right train. I couldn't reach her. I told her to get on the train without me and that I'd catch up with her afterwards. I went downstairs to wait for the next train.

Then, I realized that P doesn't know which stop to get off at and that she couldn't manage the bags and that she's four years old and really shouldn't be traveling alone on the train. Then, in panic, I missed the next train. Then, it was mass chaos and I was convinced I had lost her forever.

Then, fortunately for everyone involved, I woke up.

The first thing I did was go to P's room and hold her. I comforted myself with the knowledge that it was only a dream. She wasn't lost. She was in her room, asleep, warm and cuddly with a steady, comforting heartbeat signalling that nothing was amiss in her world. It was just my imagination.

Fortunately, I usually find a way to work my way out of a dream once I recognize it. This one took me by surprise because it was new.


Cheers!
mouse

04.07.14: Recharged

Dear Friends and Family,

In case you didn't notice, I've been MIA for the past two weeks.

And, for good reason... P had off the last two weeks from school and I decided to switch up my routine while she was off. It was refreshing. And, now I'm back and a little more recharged and a little less tired.

We went on vacation for part of spring break and I want to share something that's always true when I am on vacation. I love being on vacation. Never once, while on vacation, do I think, wow, this is awesome, but it'd be more awesome if I had (insert random item in house) here with me. Like, when we went to Egypt or Petra, I never thought, wow, this is awesome, but it'd be more awesome if my ironing board was here with me. See how ridiculous that sounds?

Well, the same was true on this vacation. We went to the Virgin Islands, and it was awesome, but would it have been even more awesome if we had packed our never-used tapas pans with us? I think not.

It made me aware that my life is so much more than the things in my house. I've been fighting clutter for so long, but it made me realize how low I had set the bar. Clutter is more than the piles littered all of the house of stuff with no home. Clutter is also the stuff in your house with a home that doesn't deserve a home in your house.

For example, hiding in plain sight is a green vase in my kitchen. It has a home on the top of my kitchen cabinets. It's been there for the past eight years untouched. Does it really deserve a home in our house? Or the cookie jar Mr. mouse has that's stored in our kitchen? Does it really deserve a home in our house?

I need to travel more, simply to remind me that I can be perfectly happy without 90% of the stuff that I own.


Cheers!
mouse

Monday

Dear Friends and Family,

Monday.

There's one thing more Mr. mouse is working on. He told me he'd be done by Monday. There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm not sure where this leaves us. I don't think it's as easy as turning on a light switch. But, I'm trying to be optimistic. It leaves us in a place where we can begin again.

It's not the best place to be, but it's not the worst place to be either. It's neutral ground. It's square one.

Well, I'd better go see why P is crying.


Cheers!
mouse

Wacky Wednesday

Dear Friends and Family,

My schedule is a little different this week because I'm taking Friday morning off to see Divergent. Yes, I've moved my schedule around so I can watch a movie at 10am while P is at school.

So, today, I've got a hot date with the three hole punch, organizing P's art work.

And, it's Thursday, so I can give an update on the art work. It's partly completed. Here's the overall art work strategy:

1. pile #1, it's not art pile: I have a binder for P's educational work. This includes sheets she does at home and at school. It's a 8.5" x 11" binder. I arrange the sheets chronologically. This binder is up to date.
2. pile #2, the really good stuff pile: I want to make an album with the really good stuff. As I go through each month's worth of artwork, I'm isolating ~4 pieces per month of stuff I really like. I'll buy an album with acid-free pages to save these pieces of art.
3. pile #3, most of the stuff pile: After I filter out the really good stuff, I go through my next filter. About 20 pieces make it through this filter. These pieces go in an 11" x 17" binder I bought. They get three hole punched. They get stapled to sheets if they are not the right form factor to three hole punch. It's not perfect preservation, but it's better than having it lie in piles around the house.
4. pile #4, the rest of the stuff: This pile ends up being the odds and ends that didn't make the cut. And, when I look at all of the pieces I've saved, I don't feel bad about this pile. Mr. mouse will take pictures of it before we throw it away so we'll still have a digital memory of it. We just won't keep the paper copy.

And, that my friends is how we're trying to restore sanity into this house. We'll have artwork, just not lying in piles all around the house.

Off to a more routine Thursday.


Cheers!
mouse

Chipping Away at the Hard Stuff

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, I took care of something that had been sitting on the back burner for a very long time. I fixed the dates on 160 photos from school ranging from 2011 through 2013. I know that sounds like a crazy thing to be proud of. But, it's something that's been sitting on my "laters" list forever.

I knew no one would die if I didn't get to it. But, I knew I would have a tough time incorporating the photos into P's books if they weren't dated correctly. Solution? Delay making P's books until the photos are dated correctly. Voila, three more things on the back burner. Problem solved.

Now that I have those photos dated correctly, I have some motivation to begin work on the books. It's funny how these things build in our minds. Task A needs to be completed before I can begin task B, but task C needs to be completed before I can begin task A, and so on and so forth. It's almost easier to ignore the whole chain of tasks.

But, I have to say, it feels good to make progress against it.


Cheers!
mouse

03.17.14: Worry Free Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a lot of mouse family drama this weekend. But, I was still able to describe the weekend as worry-free. Yes, my dad called and my mom called and I called my sister and she called my mother and my brother and the permutations could go on forever, but, still, I'd categorize the weekend as worry-free.

We have less of a scramble getting the house ready for housecleaning. We were able to spend Saturday playing with friends, eating a leisurely lunch, and picking up a package Mr. mouse needed. We were able to spend Sunday at church, and then at lunch, and then split with me at a meeting with friends and Mr. mouse at a museum with P. We were able to spend the evening doing random things we wanted to do - Mr. mouse getting ready for a school presentation and me watching an auto race.

No, our weekend wasn't empty, but there wasn't a list of stuff hanging over our heads. We enjoyed it and it felt worry-free. It didn't have that feeling weekends used to have, oh, you might enjoy yourself now, but there's a piper waiting to be paid on Monday if you don't get some bare minimum of stuff done this weekend feeling.

I have to say, it felt good.


Cheers!
mouse

Friday, I Love You

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday. I love Friday for a lot of different reasons. It's the end of the week, and after many years of a weekday/weekend schedule, Friday still feels like the end of a week with a weekend of fun ahead. It's the day my helper comes over and helps me get stuff done in the house. It's my special treat. It's the day P and I cook dinner together. It's the day I have a slumber party with P.

See? It's just a lot of little things to make the day extra special.

Well, I'm off to enjoy my Friday.


Cheers!
mouse

Progress on the List

Dear Friends and Family,

Time to revisit my list from two weeks ago.

Happy

• a neat kitchen
• a neat bathroom
• a new book I am reading
• staying on top of my to do list
• spending time with P
• a functioning thyroid

This list is still good.

Not Happy, Not Under My Control

• the relationship with Mr. mouse: we made progress yesterday, hopefully we make more this weekend

This list has definitely gotten shorter. I've figured out I hate situations where I am unhappy and can't do anything about it. I need to learn to deal with this better, in general.

Not Happy, Under My Control

• not having time to work on start up: I need to quit old work for good if I want this to happen
• working for old work: I need to quit old work for good if I want this to happen
• not being in a real relationship: this is my choice, I am choosing to wait and see what happens with Mr. mouse

This list has also gotten shorter.

No Longer Unhappy About

• the cold: we've had some breaks in the weather, that's all I really need, a couple of days to recharge from winter
• taxes: Mr. mouse finished them, we got a small refund
• slow start up: we signed up a third client, it's temporary, but it's a morale boost nonetheless
• when I lose it with P: I have not done this since I had a talk with P

Okay. I guess I continue to plug away at new work. And, I continue to figure out where my relationship with Mr. mouse is. Hopefully, we can put this all behind us at some point because February was a really low point in my life.


Cheers!
mouse

Time to be More Choosy

Dear Friends and Family,

I rearranged my one page life into a new format. And, in doing so my space for tasks got smaller. So, for now, everything is scrunched into a smaller space and I'm okay with that for two reasons.

First, I'm motivated to get through what's on it to make space. Second, more importantly, I'm motivated to be more choosy about what makes it onto the list. There's 25 tasks on the list. That may seem like a lot, but in reality, it's not that bad all things considering. It's everything, including reschedule haircut, buy birthday present for a party in two weeks, get car emissions testing done, everything. It's all encompassing. But, in an ideal world, I'd like that all encompassing list to be 7-10 tasks long. Now, I'm motivated because when the list is as long as it is, there's no space to add new things. Nice.

Well, on that note, Happy Tuesday.


Cheers!
mouse

03.10.14: Obsessions

Dear Friends and Family,

It was a good weekend.

Saturday, we took P to the museum with her friend. Then, we went for Vietnamese food for lunch. I don't remember what we did when we came home. I think I napped while P spent time with Mr. mouse. Yes, I think that's what happened.

Sunday, we went to church and then to a birthday party. P fell asleep on the way home. I napped with P while Mr. mouse ran errands.

What really made the weekend for me was the homily at church. The priest spoke about temptations, but he took the discussion down an unexpected path to addictions and how even health addictions aren't healthy in the long run. And, I realized I've got a couple of unhealthy addictions, obsessions, compulsions right now.

There's the thing with getting the house under control. I realize this isn't the healthiest behavior. But, for now, I think I will try to keep this one going. There's a certain measure of calm I get from a clean house. Perhaps once I get the whole house under control I can loosen vigilance. But, at least I recognize this as unhealthy behavior.

There's the thing with dinner. Last week, with P dropping her nap, we had a couple of nights of repeatedly calling Mr. mouse's office to make plans for the evening. I've decided to drop this one altogether. Going forward, I don't care what time Mr. mouse comes home. P and I will begin dinner at six o'clock. If Mr. mouse is home to join us, great, if not, oh well. I am dropping the crazy calling every night to coordinate routine. It's just not worth it.

There's the thing with Mr. mouse. He's taking time tomorrow to deal with his baggage. We'll see where this leaves us. I need to recognize I don't control him or his thoughts or his actions. I only control me and my thoughts and my actions. So, if I'm unhappy, I can make changes in what I think and do. Obsessively waiting on him, hoping for change, watching for change is just more craziness. I'm done with this one too. It's just not worth it.

So, it was a very good weekend. I feel like I'm in a better place today.


Cheers!
mouse

What To Do with My Friday

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday. I'm up inordinately early. I fell asleep at 7:30 last night. I got up a little after 2:00 this morning. This should make for an interesting Friday.

Mr. mouse was busy last night. There's one load of laundry left. The dishwasher was running when I woke up.

It's tough to process information when it's four in the morning and you've already been up for two hours.

I think I'll... I'm not even sure where to get started. I think I'll have tea and think through my day.

Remind me, the next time I'm debating going to sleep early. Falling asleep at 7:30 could be great, but it could have unintended consequences.


Cheers!
mouse

Adjusting

Dear Friends and Family,

It'll come as no surprise to you that I'm not the happiest person right now.

In the midst all of this, we're also adjusting to P dropping her nap. We can still get her to nap, but we decided it was a sub-optimal nap. It took her awhile to fall asleep and then we'd be fighting bedtime in the evening. So, for the past two days we've been skipping nap.

Odd as it may sound, it changes everything.

We now have a solid two hours to play together in the afternoon. We have time for lessons. We have time for story dictation. We have time for science experiments. We have time for all sorts of things. Then, dinner comes a lot earlier - as in 6:00 early. Dinner used to be an 8 o'clock event.

The big change comes after P goes to sleep. She's in bed by 7:30, not 10:00. So, I have the evening free. The last two nights I used it to do housework. And, while it's gratifying to have a clean house, I feel short changed. Instead of spending time with P, I'm spending my evening doing housework while Mr. mouse is passed out either in P's room or in our room.

How did this all of a sudden become my sole responsibility?

There's a piece of me that feels like Mr. mouse's life got a lot easier when I left work. My life? I'm not too sure.

I think, another option, at least for the moment, is to spend a quick half hour doing housework, from 7:30-8:00, say, and then to go out. Perhaps I'll go to a coffee house, or a bar, or a bookstore, or somewhere. But, I feel like I'm boxed in and there's a piece of me that wants to be free.

Well, we'll see where this heads.

The other part I'm not sure how to deal with is P's perception of time with me vs. Mr. mouse. Since she spends a lot of time with me in the afternoon, she wants to spend a lot of time with Mr. mouse when he gets home. Still, it feels like she spends time with me because she has to, and then when she has a choice, she prefers to spend it with Mr. mouse. I'm not sure I want to instill that mental model. And, I'm not sure how I feel with that perception.

Sigh.


Cheers!
mouse

Date for a Date

Dear Friends and Family,

Do you know how you can recognize a program manager? Here's an excellent example.

There are two tasks left on Mr. mouse's to do list before we can begin thinking about where this relationship is headed.

I asked Mr. mouse last night if he had a date for when he wanted to target completion of the first task. He said no. Then, I pressed him and asked him if he had a date for when he'd have the target completion date. A date for a date. That's program management, folks.

And, he said, yes. He has a date for the date. This Friday. Well, I suppose I'll bin that in the progress column.


Cheers!
mouse

Uninspired

Dear Friends and Family,

There are times where even I can look at a to do list and not be motivated. Today is one of those days. Nothing on it is very appealing.

1. spring shoes for P: It's 12° out. It just doesn't seem right to be shopping for spring shoes when it's 12° out.
2. schedule P's party: I need to research places to hold her birthday party. This is always a tough task.
3. emissions testing: Perhaps I'll do this this weekend.
4. washer fluid: who can get excited about washer fluid? I'll check to see if we have any in the 12° garage.
5. Chicago Parent: I need to find a recent copy and go through it. They always have good tips on stuff to do.
6. artwork screen: Now that February is done, I can begin going through P's artwork to pick what gets saved in the book, what gets saved in the binder and gets tossed.
7. taxes: I'm going to let Mr. mouse finish this one. I'm afraid of looking at it funny and going from refund to payment.
8. spring clothes for P: It's 12° out.
9. photo book: We have a $20 credit on Shutterfly. I think that equates to a free photo book.
10. school year book, page 15: This just needs to get done.
11. car seat: now that P is officially big enough for a new car seat, we need to research and buy one.
12. dinner with friends: I need to schedule dinner with two friends. I think I'm waiting on emails from them.
13. school year book email: I need to see if there's anything I need help on... like page 15... hmm...
14. thank you card: for the hosts from the event we went to Saturday night.
15. withholding amount: I think we need to change this so we aren't cutting it as close next year.

Well, that's the uninspired list.

I think I'll tackle thank you card. Those are always best when they are immediate. Yes. That's what I'll try and get done today.


Cheers!
mouse

03.03.14: Busy Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Monday and I'm in a better spot than last Monday.

P had a math fair on Saturday. And, Mr. mouse and I did not do well with the fair. First, he accused me of doing the project for P. Then, I accused him of the same. We are just not in a good spot.

We spent Saturday afternoon running errands. We returned a dress I didn't need. We dropped off a watch to have the battery replaced. We dropped off rings and key chains to be polished. P and I napped while Mr. mouse went in to the stores.

Saturday night, Mr. mouse and I had an event to attend. We dropped P off with friends who had hired a baby sitter and the four of us headed out for the evening. We rarely go out without P. And, when we do it's almost always for events since we are fine bringing her with us to places where it's just the three of us.

I had a lot of fun just talking with the other adults. It was nice to be out and have the time to be with adults. I have snippets of conversation here and there at drop-off and pick-up and at work, but to have a couple of hours was nice.

Sunday, I met with a close friend who agreed to help me with my marketing plan. We now have a mostly complete Facebook page. Hopefully in a couple of weeks we'll have enough content to be able to share it with our network to grow our client base.

The kitchen is still mostly under control. The bathroom is still neat. I finished the book I was reading. I'm looking forward to reading it again. Yes, I do crazy things like read books multiple times. No, I don't consider that a waste of my time. My to do list is still under control. And, I've been enjoying life with P, as always. And, she seems to be in a happier spot now than she was a week ago.

The cold. Well, it's still cold. And, it's still snowing a lot. And, it's March. The only ray of hope is Friday. It's supposed to be above freezing without snow on Friday. Friday is only five days from today.

Taxes. Mr. mouse was working on our taxes when I woke up. We still need to double check them, but it looks like we may get a small refund. It's a smaller refund than I would like, but I'm not going to quibble. It's much better than owing money. And, if we're getting a refund, I'm okay with a spring break trip. I didn't want to go if we had a large tax bill hanging over our heads, but with a refund, I'm game.

The relationship with Mr. mouse. Well, I'm not sure if we've made a lot of progress on this front. He knows what he has to do. He knows I'm getting impatient. We'll see if we make any progress on this front. If not, I know where this is headed and I think I am okay with that. I'm not happy with it, but I've come to terms with it.

Work. The convoluted thing that is work is still convoluted. I'm glad I made progress on my business this weekend. I'm optimistic that it will lead to good things. At least I now have things to do, and there's nothing like a to do list to keep me happy. Old work is still a disaster. But, I've also resigned myself to continuing to plug away at it while Mr. mouse and I sort through our lives and I work on growing my new business.

P. I'm proud to say I had a conversation with P about my fears and we've worked through them together. She's so precious, I'm afraid of all the people out in the world with less than good intentions. When she wanders or makes a run for it, I panic. She's been better about staying close since we spoke. It's hard being a parent. It's even harder when the world seems to salivate when they see your kid. I'm not sure a lot of parents can relate. I think they think I'm overreacting. I'm not. Really. I'm not.

Well, so, overall, I'm in a better place. I'll continue to work on the house. I'll continue to work on my to do list. I'll keep my fingers crossed on the weather and on spring break. I'll plug away at both of my work obligations. And, I'll hope Mr. mouse recognizes the urgency of getting our relationship back on track.


Cheers!
mouse

And, It's Finally Friday!

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday! Even if my schedule is completely topsy-turvy these days, there's still a magic associated with Friday. And, for now, I'm willing to savor that Friday feeling.

I'm optimistic that this weekend will bring good things. I've gotten a lot done on my to do list. I've had some painful discussions with Mr. mouse. I've reminded myself that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Therefore, there needs to be some end in sight to the miserable winter we've been having. I've had a conversation with P about what sets off my panic mode and we're doing better on that front. So, I've done everything in my power to set myself up for a good weekend. So, today I get to savor that Friday feeling.


Cheers!
mouse

Grinding Through the Week

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Thursday and no one died. I'll consider that a whopping success. Realistically, my decisions does not involve life or death situations. When I remind myself of that, it helps keep it all in perspective.

I made enough progress on my to do sheet this week to merit printing out a new one for the week. That felt good.

Today, I'm going to spend the morning trying to make a dent in email. Then, I'm going to P's school for a morning event. Afterwards, I'm going to pick up mail, diapers, and a couple of gift cards we need. Back home for a 1pm meeting. Back out for pick up and dance. Back home for snack and nap. A 9pm call with a colleague should round out my day.

Then, tomorrow is a little calmer. If I can make it through today then I'll be in good shape for tomorrow and the weekend. I'm already looking forward to the weekend.


Cheers!
mouse

Getting Through the Week

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Wednesday.

And, despite my case of the blues, no one's died. We're still all making it through the week. I guess that's how resilience works. You have ups and you have downs. You figure out a way to enjoy the ups and get through the downs without letting them get you too down realizing that there's always another day following the day you're in.

I'm feeling better, if not good. There's a conversation with Mr. mouse that I've been avoiding that I'll have to have. But, even knowing that I have to have the conversation is better than not knowing and feeling off kilter.

So, it's Wednesday. I'm going to try and make the most of it.


Cheers!
mouse

mouse's List

Dear Friends and Family,

In typical mouse fashion, I made a list yesterday of the things I am happy about and the things I am not happy about. Then, I sorted them into two piles, things I can control and things I can't control. The things I am happy about are so lame, it's kind of pathetic.

Happy

• a neat kitchen
• a neat bathroom
• a new book I am reading
• staying on top of my to do list
• spending time with P
• a functioning thyroid

One thing I noticed right off the bat is that, lame as the list is, all of this is under my control.

Not Happy, Not Under My Control

• the cold
• potentially owing so much in taxes, I can maybe change the situation for next year, but 2013 is what it is, nothing is going to change last year
• the relationship with Mr. mouse, we've had several discussions about it, we both agree the ball is in his court

Not Happy, Under My Control

• slow start up, I need to think of ways to get the word out
• not having time to work on start up, I need to quit old work for good if I want this to happen
• working for old work, I need to quit old work for good if I want this to happen
• when I lose it with P, I let this happen yesterday morning, I need to think about how to do this better since I know what the trigger and routine are
• not being in a real relationship, this is my choice, I am choosing to wait and see what happens with Mr. mouse

There, I have a list.

What I do with my list, I don't know. But, at least I have a list.

At a minimum, I'll continue to work on the house. I'll spend time with P. I'll think about how to manage my reaction when P triggers my panic reaction. I'll indulge my book reading happiness. Hopefully, it'll be warm soon and that'll cross one more thing off the list. I've got time this weekend to work on the start up with friends. That will, hopefully, speed things up.

And, then, there's the obvious, I need to quit old work. Why am I not quitting old work? Well, because. Having old work around makes me feel more secure in that I have my own source of cash if things go really sour. I like being financially independent. If things were better with Mr. mouse, I think I could get over this hurdle. After all, I was fine with it last summer. But, with the way things are right now, I want the security of having this job so that I can continue to work on my start up simultaneously. Without this job, I'd need to find a new job if things didn't work out with Mr. mouse. So, this is my best alternative to no agreement. My BATNA, in negotiations lingo. What's why I have not quit old work yet. Once I feel either secure in my start up or in my relationship, I think I will be in a different spot about old work.


Cheers!
mouse

02.24.14: Weekend of Waiting

Dear Friends and Family,

I had high hopes for this weekend of signing up new clients for my business. But, in the end, it was just a busy weekend with not a lot to show for it.

Saturday, P got invited to three Pump it Up parties. We declined the first because of a conflict, but headed out for parties #2 and #3. I had a great time catching up with the other parents and P had fun jumping so I would say it was a day well spent.

Sunday, we went to church. Then, I caught lunch with a friend while Mr. mouse brought P home. We cleaned up a little bit and then one of P's friends came over for a play date. The mom dropped her off, which is a first for us, and we embarked upon a three hour adventure which culminated in a serious meltdown. I'm not sure if P was tired from yesterday, or if it's two boys in school that have been upsetting her recently, or that she misses her teacher who has been out on medical leave, or if it's something deeper than that. All I know is that P spent the last hour of her play date crying with Mr. mouse in her room.

The other disappointing thing about Sunday was that I embarked upon our taxes. And, while I'm not done, the numbers right now are adding up to a serious amount of money due to the IRS. I'm not sure what we're doing wrong. After my W2, we had a good sized refund coming our way, but then after Mr. mouse's W2, if flip-flopped on us. I can only assume that means he needs to up his withholding. And, that we're probably not taking a big trip for spring break.

And, last but not least, to add salt to an already festering wound, Mr. mouse and I had dinner alone last night since P passed out early on the rug from sheer exhaustion. Honestly, I don't know where we are. Actually, I do know where we are. We're speaking to each other, but only as co-parents.

There's a part of me that remembers what it felt like to fall in love - to hear a voice speaking tender words, to see eyes light up when they see my eyes, to feel warm hands. I miss those things. I wonder how long the current situation will last. And, I wonder, if I ever fall in love again, will it be with Mr. mouse? We made it through one rough patch early on in our relationship. This time, I'm just not sure.

But, in typical mouse fashion, I'm not going to waste the day today mulling on sad things. I'm going to focus on the things I need to get done that are inside my control. I have one hour of work to do for old work. I think I'll spend the rest of my morning and day focused on new work.


Cheers!
mouse

Friday!

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday. I'll admit, I didn't sleep well last night. I may have to succumb and get some coffee today.

But, if I get through today and make it a productive day, then I'm set up for the weekend. So, the key to enjoying the weekend is to make today a productive day. The key to enjoying the weekend is to make today a productive day. The key to enjoying this weekend is to make today a productive day.

Okay. I am motivated.


Cheers!
mouse

Oh, I Get It

Dear Friends and Family,

I see why the week feels like a wreck. P had Monday off from class. I lost Tuesday to bad traffic and school drop-off. And, I effectively lost Wednesday to a doctor's appointment and a networking lunch. And, it's Thursday and I'm feeling discombobulated. I wonder why.

Well, hopefully Friday goes more smoothly than last week. I want a normal week back.


Cheers!
mouse

Not Making Progress

Dear Friends and Family,

It's one of those hectic mornings that always make me flinch. I've got a doctor's appointment and a networking lunch and drop-off and pick-up and I need to go to the bank and I need to drop off a dollar bill P found and I need to get my work hours in and and and...

Well. I guess I should shower and get ready for the day. It's not like any of this will happen on it's own.


Cheers!
mouse

02.18.14: One

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Tuesday and after a monster snowstorm we're headed into a new week. This weekend was a long weekend because P had off from school. However, we split it into two weekends. Saturday, we had school and a play date. Sunday and Monday, we visited friends and the dentist.

I am really looking forward to this week. It is the first week of days above freezing in over a month. P has had cabin fever and it's been making Mr. mouse and me a little stir crazy. It'll be nice to have some outdoor time.

Well, Mr. mouse had to leave for work early today. And, I have drop off, so I don't have much time to write. Until tomorrow.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: Down to one pile in the kitchen.

Three

Dear Friends and Family,

Progress. We're down to three piles. But, for progress, we also took a couple of steps back.

I need to find a home for the business cards that came in yesterday. And, P's table is a clutter of Valentine's cards from school yesterday.

Still, I optimistic we can finish the kitchen today. Then, we can move on from there to another point in the house.

But, I'll be honest, that's not what's on my mind today.

Last night, P fell asleep early and we decided to let her sleep the night. So, Mr. mouse and I had the night alone, just the two of us. And, it felt empty. Without P to fill the night, we ate a quiet dinner without a lot of conversation and then went to sleep. Well, Mr. mouse fell asleep. I think.

I came downstairs to the living room and watched the traffic go by. I wondered where we go from here. I felt so alone. Sometimes, even with all the friends and with all the outlets to communicate, you just need a moment to yourself. And, last night, watching the traffic go by, I had many of those moments.

I know relationships change. I just wonder, sometimes, where ours is headed. At one point in our relationship, I couldn't imagine life without Mr. mouse. But, last night, there was a moment where I couldn't imagine life with him. Perhaps I'll be at a point, sometime in the future, where I'm ready to talk about this. For now, I think it's just something for me to think about as I watch the traffic go by. Perhaps it's just a phase I'm going through because there's a lot of other things around me that have me blue.

I think the kitchen is me trying to exert control because sometimes I realize how much of my life is outside of my control. Silly me, as if fixing the kitchen will fix everything.


Cheers!
mouse

Because sometimes you just need to find your happy face and move on with the day.

Four

Dear Friends and Family,

Four. Four piles left. So close, but, still not zero.

1. There's a pile that needs to go into the filing cabinet.
2. There's money that needs to get deposited at the bank.
3. There's a picture frame that needs a home.
4. And, there's a file of photos that need to be scanned and imported into iphoto

There's also two oranges that need to be eaten tonight. And, two cookie pieces. And, three pieces of chocolate. But, I haven't been counting the food.

So close, but still not zero.


Cheers!
mouse

Six

Dear Friends and Family,

This morning I got through one more pile on our kitchen counter. I had a pile of things that I wanted to order for P. I ordered some of them. I changed my mind on the rest of them. I discarded the pile. I'm down to six. Progress.


Cheers!
mouse

Seven

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday, I had some time to dedicate to the kitchen. Instead of getting overwhelmed, I followed a cleaning method I read about. And, let's be clear, I wasn't really cleaning. I was organizing. And, let's be clear, I wasn't really organizing. I was trying to maintain the line that we had established on Friday in our perpetual kitchen war.

Anyway, back to the method. You start from one point and you just keep making your way one step at a time to the point next to you. You don't try to take in the big picture. You just look at the immediate next step and do. For me, since my kitchen is an el shape with an island, that involves starting at one end of the el, moving around the el, moving across the island, tackling P's small table, and tackling two chairs and an end table we have set up.

So, I put away all of the plastic drying randomly. I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher. I cleaned the things that needed to be cleaned by hand. I sliced the bagels and put them in the refrigerator. I put away the pots. I spent the rest of the time on the island. It's down to seven discrete piles of paper from one amorphous giant pile.

And, yet, this morning, when I look, there's more random plastic drying on the counter, a food processor made it's way back onto the counter, there's random pots on the stove, and P's table has a random art project on it. Our chairs have a pile of towels on them. And, there's another random piece of paper on the end table.

I wish we could get to a point where the house maintained itself. But, sadly, I don't think I'll be there ever. I think it'll be a constant battle. There'll always be plastic to put away. There'll always be pots to put away. There'll always be dishes to cycle through. There'll always be paper to cycle through.

Still, I should focus on the positive. There's seven discrete piles on the counter. Tonight, I will tackle at least one and then there will be six.


Cheers!
mouse

02.10.14: Slow Food

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a quiet weekend planned that got even quieter when we got a note on Friday from P's school. Because of an outbreak of Fifth's Disease, we rescheduled dinner with friends who are expecting since there's a low, but measurable risk to the baby if it gets the virus.

With the calendar wide open, we spent Saturday eating with P. Honestly, I have little recollection of Saturday outside of the food. We came home and she ate lunch forever, taking a bite, signing a song, asking a silly question, and, only then taking another bite. All told, it felt like a two hour lunch. Afterwards, we played for a couple of minutes and then napped. We went out for dinner, and it was longer than lunch. It felt like a three hour dinner, with P eating a bite at a time while Mr. mouse and I sat and watched. Tables came in after us and left before us.

But, it was worth it. P had a monster weigh-in on Saturday night which she needed. She's whittling away to nothing. If she can make the weight stick, it'll be worth the time invested.

Sunday, we went to a local ice festival. P got to watch ice carving. We walked around for a little bit looking at the ice sculptures. And, P got to run which is good. With the unreal winter we've been having, there's been little to no time for outside play at school. Even on the weekends, we're loathe to take her out when the temperature is in the single digits. So, gross motor has been a trial for us. Running, even for a couple of blocks, was awesome.

We also had time on Sunday to go on several missions in P's rocket. We found a ribbon in the valley in Mars after making a map of the planet. And, we went to Saturn to find a missing ring. She wanted to go to Uranus to find a missing book, but I told her that needed to wait until another night.

It's short week this week followed by a long weekend. We've been working all weekend on a pile of papers in the kitchen. Once we get through them, the kitchen will be feel like a better place. I feel like the kitchen will be a battle each week. But, one I'm willing to fight for. Right now, we've got P's room and the kitchen under control. Let's see how many more balls we can juggle.


Cheers!
mouse

And, Then, I Woke Up

Dear Friends and Family,

There are bad days at work. And, there are BAD days at work. Granted no one dies if I have a bad day at work. But, yesterday, I felt like a little piece of me died.

I've always believed you have an obligation to speak your mind. I've also believed that you have to support the team once the team comes to a decision. It's just chaos otherwise. So, yesterday, I spoke my mind. And, frankly, the team came to a stupid decision. I'm going to support it. But, it's not one I agree with.

And, that's when a light bulb turned on in my head. I love it when light bulbs turn on. Because the light they shed on a truth that's just sitting around waiting to be discovered can be life changing. There's no "not knowing" something once you "know" it.

What do I know now?

I know that I am no longer invested in old work. I don't feel like I have anything to learn. I don't feel like I have much I am willing to give. Yesterday, it went from being a job to being a paycheck. I'm not invested enough to care enough to speak my mind. I think I'll just do.

Thanks. I needed that, desperately. Now, I can focus on my idea.


Cheers!
mouse

Thinking Like an Entrepreneur

Dear Friends and Family,

I just put together a preliminary P&L for the month of January for my new business. I definitely lost money the first two weeks. I almost broke even the following two weeks. And, in the process, I'm putting together my lessons learned for the month.

1. I need more clients. I have two clients right now. Obviously that's not a sustainable business. February will need to focus on growing sales.
2. The business can't afford any extraneous expenses. Yes, I ordered business cards, but I think I'll need those to grow sales (see above). But, the $50 I spent on ink in January seems like a luxury in retrospect. For February, I'll need to avoid the temptation to spend money on things that are not essential.
3. I need more time. I need to do things like put together a website and go through my business mail and stuff. I've been working part-time at old work. I think I may need to rethink that strategy sometime in the near future.

Still, I'm happy. I did better in January than I thought I would. I'm jazzed.


Cheers!
mouse

What to Do with Today

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Wednesday. I'm torn on what to try to accomplish today.

Mr. mouse and I both have bad colds. P is a little sick. It's snowing. It's going to be one of those days. I can feel it now.


Cheers!
mouse

Epic Fail. Mouse Needs a New Computer

Dear Friends and Family,

I probably need a new computer. There's too many things that take too long on this one. But, I'm loathe to spend the money right now on a new computer. And, most of the times I trade the inconvenience of downloads for the perceived inconvenience of transitioning computers.

Like this morning.

I just spent 30 minutes trying to download photos from P's school website. And, in the past 30 minutes I've downloaded zero photos. Yep. Zero. I have rebooted my computer twice. And, now I leave for work frustrated. I'll have to make up time because I won't get my hours in. I'll have to deal with more traffic. And, I don't have anything to show for it.

It's going to be one of those days. I can feel it. Lovely.


Cheers!
mouse

02.03.14: Hello February

Dear Friends and Family,

It's February. Wow. One month into the new year.

We had a great weekend.

Saturday was a little hectic. We woke to find out school was cancelled. P and Mr. mouse went shopping for birthday presents while I got some work done at home. Then, we headed out for a birthday party with one of P's friends from her old school. We met up with a friend for dinner before heading home for the evening. We went to our favorite Korean restaurant which was packed to the gills for the new year.

Sunday was less hectic, but no less busy. We woke up to a glorious winter day. We went to a birthday party for one of P's friends from her new school. I really am glad I like the parents as much as I do. Then, we headed out for some sledding. The weather couldn't have been better and the snow was perfect for donuts. P went down more times than we could count. And, she begged to stay longer. But, when we got to the car we realized her hands and feet were like ice. It's probably a good thing we came in when we did. We met up with more friends for dinner. This time it was at their house. We had a Romanian feast while watching the Super Bowl.

And, now, it's Monday. P's room is still clean and my to do list is manageable. I'm happy.


Cheers!
mouse

Friday!

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Friday! Oh, I'm so glad!

Lots of random things that need to get done today, but there's no beating Friday. I have my list highlighted. And, I've got my fingers crossed that I get through it.

I'm also excited because P and I are starting what is hopefully a new tradition going forward. We're going to cook dinner together tonight. We'll come home after school and plan the menu. Then, we'll go shopping. And, after a little bit of play time, we're going to cook dinner. I'm curious what she comes up with for the menu.

This all started when P asked why I only "cook" using the microwave and the toaster oven. And, it's true, I tend to heat up leftovers rather than cook a new meal because our fridge is usually full of leftovers. But, I want her to learn to cook, on a stove, with fresh ingredients. So, tonight we'll make dinner together.


Cheers!
mouse

Free Day

Dear Friends and Family,

P's back in school. And, my one employee is on vacation. So, I have a free day all to myself. Glorious free time.

I'm going to try and be productive this morning. So far, I figured out how to pay my business credit card from my business bank account. And, I got laundry started.

Now, I can either write two emails soliciting clients or I can tackle 2013 taxes. I think I'll tackle the taxes.


Cheers!
mouse

And We Stayed In

Dear Friends and Family,

I gave P the option of going out and she declined, opting to stay home and enjoy the day with moms.

We:

1. woke up
2. got dressed
3. ate breakfast
4. brushed teeth with new toothbrush
5. put away laundry
6. started our science experiment
7. ate lunch
8. cleared a bookcase for P
9. finished our sheets
10. played a game of LIFE
11. napped
12. ate dinner
13. made cookie dough

It was a fun day. My only twinge of guilt is I fell asleep before P during nap. I'm not sure if she was bored or lonely or sad or just quiet in that period before she fell asleep.

In the grand scheme of things, it's a minor thing. I just hope she enjoyed the day as much as I did.


Cheers!
mouse

01.27.14: Polar Vortex II

Dear Friends and Family,

Any weekend I get to nap is a good weekend. By that definition it was a good weekend. And, now we're headed into ANOTHER cold spell. This winter has been one mother of a winter. You know it's cold when you start looking forward to 20 degree weather. Yep. It's been that kind of a winter.

Saturday, we went to school. We practiced dribbling at home. P went to the library and shopping with Mr. mouse. I napped. Sunday, we went to church. We dribbled some more. P's gotten quite good. P napped. P had a play date.

P's school got cancelled today so I've got some time with P today. I'm looking forward to it. We may go shopping. We may go to a play area. We may have pajama day. We'll see.

For now, I'm just relaxing while P sleeps.


Cheers!
mouse

Long Day at the Office

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm still in catch up mode from winter break. So, I'm headed into the office today for a boatload of hours, hopefully. Then, it's off to Mom's night. Should be good. And, on a plus note, we're not over scheduled for the weekend.


Cheers!
mouse

Time to Make the Donuts

Dear Friends and Family,

Things that needed to happen yesterday didn't happen. P didn't have her bath last night. And, I didn't get an invoice out that I needed to get out. But, the sun will still rise today and hopefully we will make a little more progress today than we did yesterday.

I've got a list of things for new work. But, for now, I need to jump in the shower and get ready to face the day.


Cheers!
mouse

01.21.14: Party, Check

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a long weekend compliments of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And, as usual, we used it to host our annual New Year's party. This year's party was on the smaller side, which is nice, because I have a decent shot at talking to my guests. When we used to have 50+ people, I used to throw in the towel and assume the guests could entertain themselves. I was, literally, the door, coat, shoes, process person.

I need to wrap my head around today. I've got work. I've got yearbook follow-up. If I can make it through emails, that'll be an absolute win. The only complication in all of this is that I've got parent duty tonight. Mr. mouse is nearing a deadline at work so he'll be bringing work home all week. So, in addition to work, yearbook follow-up and emails, I have dinner, bath, and getting P to bed tonight.

Feeling overwhelmed. Time to breathe and remember that tomorrow is another day.


Cheers!
mouse

Friday with a Hiccup

Dear Friends and Family,

Well. It's Friday and so far there are no bodies to report this week. Phew.

I got most everything done. And, the things that didn't get done didn't results in any harm to anybody. I'll consider that a raging success.

Today, P has a play date at 10. Before the play date, we need to make ice cream and bathe P because she was too tired for a bath last night. After the play date, we have party prep for tomorrow. I desperately need a manicure, but that'll just have to wait. It's a ticking time bomb so I've got my fingers crossed I make it until whenever I have the time to go get them done.

The hiccup? A 30 minute conference call today for old work scheduled at the last minute. I'm tempted to skip it. I really am. I just may. We'll see.


Cheers!
mouse

Three Down, Two to Go

Dear Friends and Family,

I made it through the day yesterday.

Today is a calmer, more rational day. (famous last words) I've got work. I've got dance. I've got time with P. I've got an eyebrow appointment. I've got time to revisit my to do list.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.


Cheers!
mouse

Hump Day

Dear Friends and Family,

I'll be honest. I'm a little overwhelmed.

Today, I have time to work on my new idea. I have a doctor's appointment. I have the afternoon with P which is the highlight of my day. I have a meeting with some parents to work on P's yearbook. Then, I get a little time with Mr. mouse and P and then I need to work on old work for about two hours.

I'll be honest. I'm thinking about leaving old work again. It's just plain stupid. I went in yesterday and my work exploded. All of a sudden everyone cares. This would be awesome if I still worked there and cared. But, given that I'm a part-time employee looking to start my own business, it's not awesome. Now, it just feels like a lot of work when I've got a lot more interested stuff to focus on.

Ask me why I'm there? I'll be honest. It's part mercenary, it's part prostitution, both of which are against my religion. In other words, it's for the money. I'm selling my time for money. There's little emotional fulfillment and what emotional fulfillment there is is derived from friendships, not from work.

It'll all come to a crux in the summer because I'll want to spend more time with P. Something will have to budge. But, that's the summer. I just need to get through today.


Cheers!
mouse

01.13.14: Over-Scheduled

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a lot going on this weekend.

Saturday, P started her new class. Then, we got mail, ate lunch, and went to a birthday party. P napped on the car ride home and we had friends over for dinner.

Sunday, I went to church with a friend, then we had a play date while Mr. mouse had lunch with a friend. P napped when she got home. And, we had a second play date that evening.

We were definitely over-scheduled.

I'd say this week looks better, but it doesn't. Tomorrow night I have a meeting with a prospective client. Wednesday night I'm meeting with a group about P's yearbook. And, Friday, P's off from school and we have a play date. Sooner or later I will learn not to do this to myself.

Oh, and I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday. Sigh.

And, I still need to do the prelim layout for the yearbook. I don't even want to think about it. Perhaps this is one of those weeks that I take one day at a time.

Sigh.


Cheers!
mouse

Top "3"

Dear Friends and Family,

Seems like a good moment for a new Top 3.

I'm excited to say, I have a new one. My idea. I'm ready to spend the time now on it. It's real and I feel like I have this year to either prove it works or understand why it doesn't. So, I'm motivated to make it a top 3.

I think this one was on my last list. If not, I'll add it to my list now - spending time with family. P's going to be five soon. And, in the imminent future she's not going to want to play with Mr. mouse and me. She's not doing to want to read with us. She's going to be even more independent than she is now. I'd like to live in the moment and savor the time with her.

Not sure what my last top 3 is. Perhaps with the introduction of a big new one, I should moderate myself and keep to only two.


Cheers!
mouse

New Day

Dear Friends and Family,

My life is just a little more organized. The house is just a little more clean. Why? Because I hired a personal assistant! I figured if I need time to focus on my new business, I would need help to keep my current life from becoming a train wreck.

We spent about two hours together yesterday. My assistant put away my laundry. She cleared through my mail. She sorted through a pile of papers on my kitchen counter. And, she took down half of my Christmas lights. Progress. And, the best part is, I think she'll be able to do even more once she gets used to the house and where everything goes.

So excited.


Cheers!
mouse

Big Bang

Dear Friends and Family,

After two years of dabbling in entrepreneurship, today's the big day. My first employee starts today. She starts at 9 this morning in 40 minutes. So, I need to go shower soon.

Needless to say, I'm super excited. I'm also a little exhausted. Mr. mouse and I were up until three in the morning talking about summer camp. But, now, we have a strategy and we're in frenzied application mode. We submitted the first of the applications this morning. We log on tomorrow morning for the second of three. Wish us luck.

Back to today. I'm super excited. We have five hours to knock out things like W4 and W9 forms, talking about establishing a cell phone policy and a dress code, and actually doing two hours of work. Hooray!


Cheers!
mouse

Mouse Takes Time Off

Dear Friends and Family,

So, what'd we do with 17 days off? That's an excellent question.

• Days 1 and 2: we spent the weekend at home doing nothing of note outside of the normal weekend routine
• Day 3: we opened Christmas presents, as a family, and took lots of photos with our tree
• Day 4: we spent with Mr. mouse's folks
• Day 5: we spent with my family
• Day 6: we spent with my cousins who are a riot
• Day 7: we spent with my mom's friends who are in love with P
• Days 8 and 9: we tackled all of the to dos that had built up over the week
• Day 10: we cleaned house and packed
• Day 11: we spent in San Francisco due to a cancelled flight
• Days 12, 13, 14, and 15: we frolicked in sunny Hawaii
• Day 16: we went sledding
• Day 17: I spent the day with P, in the evening, exhausted, she told me she enjoyed none of it
• Day 18: an unplanned day, Mr. mouse is staying home with P

And, that, my friends is where 17 days went. I'm glad I've got the flexibility to spend that much time with P. She's going to be four and a half for only another month or so. Then, she's almost five.

I enjoyed the day, yesterday, until about 5. Then, P got tired and I got tired of repeating myself. Then, by 5:45, Mr. mouse came home and rescued me. I napped for an hour while they ate dinner together.


Cheers!
mouse

01.06.14: Happy New Year

Dear Friends and Family,

We're back. It's day 17 of Winter Break for P. She hasn't had 17 consecutive days off from school since she was 12 weeks old, when she started daycare and I went back to work. We have today and tomorrow off before P returns to school and I kick off my new work.

Fortunately or unfortunately, it's too cold to contemplate doing anything outdoors today. Otherwise, I'd be tempted to take P sledding. And, that just seems like a lot to tackle on our day off. We went yesterday. P went down the hill seven times before calling it quits. Her cheeks were pink. She was covered in a layer of snow and ice. Her hands were cold. And, she had little icicles forming on her eyelashes. Today is even colder. So, we'll stay home.

What to do with the day? Not sure. I'll let P sleep in. Then we'll figure it out from there. I'll write more tomorrow. Today, I feel like I need to jump into the shower and get the day started.


Cheers!
mouse