Dear Small,
I just finished reading a book about the history of the women's movement in the 20th century. And, I didn't realize how much a product of my times I can be. And, in living through it, I somehow took for granted all the work others have done to allow me to be who I am.
I always said, if I had a child, I wanted a girl - a girl who would be free to be all that she could be unbounded by the constraints of what others say she could be based upon her gender. I wanted you to have all of the opportunities I didn't have - even if truth be told, I've had many opportunities.
I remember a book I had growing up. It was an alphabet book. And, I was for Irma. She was a telephone utility person of sorts - the picture showed her working on the telephone lines. And, without meaning any harm, your grandfather told me that women don't do jobs like that. I'm a child of the Math is Hard Barbie era. Yet, look at me now.
But, it doesn't all come for free. I remember an elementary school teacher talking about the need for financial independence - in the third grade... And, from that point on, I knew I wanted to be financially independent. I didn't want to be dependent upon anyone because I realized when you're dependent, you can't call all of the shots and I wanted control.
I can't imagine your father leaving me. And, if he did, I can't imagine him leaving me in a bind. But, then again, who can? So, emotionally, I'm very dependent on your father, but, financially, I know I could make it on my own if I ever needed to.
Which brings me to why I'm writing this letter to you. I'm biased. I want to raise you to be like me - to be strong and independent with a healthy dose of common sense. But, more importantly, I want to raise you to be you. Regardless of the choices you make, I'll love you and respect you. Just like I am a product of my history, you'll be a product of yours. And, I'm 110% okay with that.
Love,
your mommy
I just finished reading a book about the history of the women's movement in the 20th century. And, I didn't realize how much a product of my times I can be. And, in living through it, I somehow took for granted all the work others have done to allow me to be who I am.
I always said, if I had a child, I wanted a girl - a girl who would be free to be all that she could be unbounded by the constraints of what others say she could be based upon her gender. I wanted you to have all of the opportunities I didn't have - even if truth be told, I've had many opportunities.
I remember a book I had growing up. It was an alphabet book. And, I was for Irma. She was a telephone utility person of sorts - the picture showed her working on the telephone lines. And, without meaning any harm, your grandfather told me that women don't do jobs like that. I'm a child of the Math is Hard Barbie era. Yet, look at me now.
But, it doesn't all come for free. I remember an elementary school teacher talking about the need for financial independence - in the third grade... And, from that point on, I knew I wanted to be financially independent. I didn't want to be dependent upon anyone because I realized when you're dependent, you can't call all of the shots and I wanted control.
I can't imagine your father leaving me. And, if he did, I can't imagine him leaving me in a bind. But, then again, who can? So, emotionally, I'm very dependent on your father, but, financially, I know I could make it on my own if I ever needed to.
Which brings me to why I'm writing this letter to you. I'm biased. I want to raise you to be like me - to be strong and independent with a healthy dose of common sense. But, more importantly, I want to raise you to be you. Regardless of the choices you make, I'll love you and respect you. Just like I am a product of my history, you'll be a product of yours. And, I'm 110% okay with that.
Love,
your mommy
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