Dear Friends and Family,
Last night I realized how fortunate I am. My sister and her husband have a very different money dynamic than Mr. mouse and I do. She stays home to take care of my nephew and to keep the house from falling apart. Her husband works. In their household she defers to him on money decisions. Right, wrong, or indifferent, that's the dynamic they've fallen into.
Perhaps it's because we've been together for so long I can't imagine trying to figure out my money from our money. Perhaps it's because we both came in with roughly the same situation, he had more credit card debt, I had more student loans, but it seemed close enough for us. Perhaps it's because I've worked as hard as Mr. mouse had and I've contributed financially to the pool. Perhaps it's because I'm me and Mr. mouse is Mr. mouse and we just have a different dynamic, but it would never occur to me to defer to Mr. mouse on money decisions. It would be a foreign concept for us. I think.
Because, we do defer to each other. We don't make decisions in isolation. Like, I discussed leaving work and taking time off with Mr. mouse, made sure we were both okay with that decision. I discussed starting a new business and made sure we were both okay with that decision. It's not like I need his permission, it's just that I would expect the same if the tables were turned.
Perhaps that's it. Perhaps it's coming across as deferral, but it's a joint decision on my sister's part too. I hope so. I like feeling like the money decision making authority in our family is split evenly.
Cheers!
mouse
Last night I realized how fortunate I am. My sister and her husband have a very different money dynamic than Mr. mouse and I do. She stays home to take care of my nephew and to keep the house from falling apart. Her husband works. In their household she defers to him on money decisions. Right, wrong, or indifferent, that's the dynamic they've fallen into.
Perhaps it's because we've been together for so long I can't imagine trying to figure out my money from our money. Perhaps it's because we both came in with roughly the same situation, he had more credit card debt, I had more student loans, but it seemed close enough for us. Perhaps it's because I've worked as hard as Mr. mouse had and I've contributed financially to the pool. Perhaps it's because I'm me and Mr. mouse is Mr. mouse and we just have a different dynamic, but it would never occur to me to defer to Mr. mouse on money decisions. It would be a foreign concept for us. I think.
Because, we do defer to each other. We don't make decisions in isolation. Like, I discussed leaving work and taking time off with Mr. mouse, made sure we were both okay with that decision. I discussed starting a new business and made sure we were both okay with that decision. It's not like I need his permission, it's just that I would expect the same if the tables were turned.
Perhaps that's it. Perhaps it's coming across as deferral, but it's a joint decision on my sister's part too. I hope so. I like feeling like the money decision making authority in our family is split evenly.
Cheers!
mouse
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