Dear Friends and Family,
My mom's thinking about getting a job. When she first told me that she said it was to get out of the house because she needs some space from my father. Then she told me it's also to make ends meet. Then she told me that it's tough to make ends meet with my brother still living at home.
Who's to blame when children fall short of expectations? Is it the parents fault for poor parenting? Is it ultimately the kid's fault once they're an adult? I'm not sure. All I know is that my 33 year old brother isn't pulling his weight. My mom is seriously contemplating getting a job because he lives at home.
Now, I can come up with a million and one reasons why my 33 year old brother lives at home. My parents aren't good parents. He never learned how to be a functioning adult. But, then, my sister and I turned out okay. My brother's in med school, but he's been in and out of school for what seems like forever. He's waiting to next March to match. Was it his fault he didn't match last spring? Or was it bad luck? Am I losing patience right when the end is in sight? Or is this one more year on a train to nowhere? How do I feel when my mom says things like he's just like your dad?
Most importantly, can I really let my parents be short of money? Should I let my mother get a job? If it were really just to get out of the house, I'd be all for it. But, if it's really just to make ends meet, then I'm not sure I'm for it. Should P go to private school ahead of my mother having food on the table? The answer seems like it should be no. Should I "retire" and take some time off ahead of my mother having food on the table? The answer seems like it should be no.
But, then, I ask myself, should P not go to private school after our crazy year of getting her into school so that my 33 year old brother can slough off? The answer seems like it should be no. Should I work and let me health teeter in the balance and let me house fall slowly apart and have no time for myself so that my 33 year old brother can slough off? The answer seems like it should be no.
Should my mother work because my brother won't? That answer isn't so simple. On the one hand, I can argue it's her call to make. She can kick him out and live off of the savings they have. Or she can get a job and be okay with him living at home. I can ignore the situation under the guise of they're all adults, they can make adult decisions.
But, they're not. Outside of my sister and me, they're not all adults. They're like kids. And, who's to blame? And, more importantly, what do we do now?
I think my brother should get a job. I think he should begin to pay my parents rent and begin to cover some of the expenses associated with living at home. Rent. That's a good place to start. And, perhaps a third of the grocery bill. And, then perhaps a third of the utilities. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Rent. That's a good place to start.
I shouldn't have to work because my brother can't. Or more importantly, my brother won't. Right? I shouldn't feel guilty about my decisions. I've worked hard. I hate to sound entitled but I feel like I've earned my right to balance my work and my life.
If only my brother weren't completely lame. Who's to blame? And, what do we do now? Hopefully so navel gazing will provide some insight.
Cheers!
mouse
My mom's thinking about getting a job. When she first told me that she said it was to get out of the house because she needs some space from my father. Then she told me it's also to make ends meet. Then she told me that it's tough to make ends meet with my brother still living at home.
Who's to blame when children fall short of expectations? Is it the parents fault for poor parenting? Is it ultimately the kid's fault once they're an adult? I'm not sure. All I know is that my 33 year old brother isn't pulling his weight. My mom is seriously contemplating getting a job because he lives at home.
Now, I can come up with a million and one reasons why my 33 year old brother lives at home. My parents aren't good parents. He never learned how to be a functioning adult. But, then, my sister and I turned out okay. My brother's in med school, but he's been in and out of school for what seems like forever. He's waiting to next March to match. Was it his fault he didn't match last spring? Or was it bad luck? Am I losing patience right when the end is in sight? Or is this one more year on a train to nowhere? How do I feel when my mom says things like he's just like your dad?
Most importantly, can I really let my parents be short of money? Should I let my mother get a job? If it were really just to get out of the house, I'd be all for it. But, if it's really just to make ends meet, then I'm not sure I'm for it. Should P go to private school ahead of my mother having food on the table? The answer seems like it should be no. Should I "retire" and take some time off ahead of my mother having food on the table? The answer seems like it should be no.
But, then, I ask myself, should P not go to private school after our crazy year of getting her into school so that my 33 year old brother can slough off? The answer seems like it should be no. Should I work and let me health teeter in the balance and let me house fall slowly apart and have no time for myself so that my 33 year old brother can slough off? The answer seems like it should be no.
Should my mother work because my brother won't? That answer isn't so simple. On the one hand, I can argue it's her call to make. She can kick him out and live off of the savings they have. Or she can get a job and be okay with him living at home. I can ignore the situation under the guise of they're all adults, they can make adult decisions.
But, they're not. Outside of my sister and me, they're not all adults. They're like kids. And, who's to blame? And, more importantly, what do we do now?
I think my brother should get a job. I think he should begin to pay my parents rent and begin to cover some of the expenses associated with living at home. Rent. That's a good place to start. And, perhaps a third of the grocery bill. And, then perhaps a third of the utilities. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Rent. That's a good place to start.
I shouldn't have to work because my brother can't. Or more importantly, my brother won't. Right? I shouldn't feel guilty about my decisions. I've worked hard. I hate to sound entitled but I feel like I've earned my right to balance my work and my life.
If only my brother weren't completely lame. Who's to blame? And, what do we do now? Hopefully so navel gazing will provide some insight.
Cheers!
mouse
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment