Dear Friends and Family,
And just when you think it's going okay... My mom called last night to tell me that my dad is in the hospital. He was admitted for some tests. And, then my sister called to fill me in on all of the gory details. Apparently my dad had some infection of the lungs/bronchial tubes when he was a kid and it caused some scarring of the respiratory tract. Well, as you get older, it makes you more susceptible to respiratory tract illnesses and makes treatment of them more critical than if you didn't have the scarring.
From what I can gather, my dad must have caught something. And, now everyone's concerned it's pneumonia. And, I feel bad. I was annoyed with my dad for his behavior when he visited for P's birthday. And, now I realize he must have been pretty miserable.
It still doesn't excuse his behavior. And, still doesn't change Mr. mouse's feelings about the whole thing. But, it makes me feel bad that I didn't give him the benefit of the doubt. I guess it's true, that's what happens if you cry wolf once too often.
So why do I feel jinxed? I was just lecturing a friend at work about letting people live by their decisions and letting go of what you can't control. And, I still feel that way. I just feel bad because my dad didn't have the easiest time of it.
He grew up under two tyrants in an environment that would make parents today shudder. He grew up in a war torn country deprived of resources and a lot of what we take for granted now. And, he's been carrying that baggage around his entire life.
I know I didn't have the easiest childhood either. And, I'm very fortunate to have grown out of the trap that so many fall into - the trap of repeating the mistakes of the prior generation. And, I guess that's why I feel bad. Given the hand I was dealt, I feel like I made the best of it and the best of it is pretty good. And, I feel like my dad didn't. He became a victim. So, while I'm sitting here with five deuces, he's decided to fold. And, that's why I feel bad. I was lucky. He wasn't. And, I feel sorry for him.
Well, time to dig deep and be strong. And, time to watch and be grateful for what we have been able to offer P - a mom and dad who love her unconditionally; a home that is safe and happy. Time and attention and smiles and laughter and hugs and reading time and play time and care are all things P gets to take for granted. We're fortunate and P's fortunate. And, that is a good thing. I feel like I've done what I can to make the world a little bit of a better place by being able to provide for P what I didn't have as a child.
Cheers!
mouse
And just when you think it's going okay... My mom called last night to tell me that my dad is in the hospital. He was admitted for some tests. And, then my sister called to fill me in on all of the gory details. Apparently my dad had some infection of the lungs/bronchial tubes when he was a kid and it caused some scarring of the respiratory tract. Well, as you get older, it makes you more susceptible to respiratory tract illnesses and makes treatment of them more critical than if you didn't have the scarring.
From what I can gather, my dad must have caught something. And, now everyone's concerned it's pneumonia. And, I feel bad. I was annoyed with my dad for his behavior when he visited for P's birthday. And, now I realize he must have been pretty miserable.
It still doesn't excuse his behavior. And, still doesn't change Mr. mouse's feelings about the whole thing. But, it makes me feel bad that I didn't give him the benefit of the doubt. I guess it's true, that's what happens if you cry wolf once too often.
So why do I feel jinxed? I was just lecturing a friend at work about letting people live by their decisions and letting go of what you can't control. And, I still feel that way. I just feel bad because my dad didn't have the easiest time of it.
He grew up under two tyrants in an environment that would make parents today shudder. He grew up in a war torn country deprived of resources and a lot of what we take for granted now. And, he's been carrying that baggage around his entire life.
I know I didn't have the easiest childhood either. And, I'm very fortunate to have grown out of the trap that so many fall into - the trap of repeating the mistakes of the prior generation. And, I guess that's why I feel bad. Given the hand I was dealt, I feel like I made the best of it and the best of it is pretty good. And, I feel like my dad didn't. He became a victim. So, while I'm sitting here with five deuces, he's decided to fold. And, that's why I feel bad. I was lucky. He wasn't. And, I feel sorry for him.
Well, time to dig deep and be strong. And, time to watch and be grateful for what we have been able to offer P - a mom and dad who love her unconditionally; a home that is safe and happy. Time and attention and smiles and laughter and hugs and reading time and play time and care are all things P gets to take for granted. We're fortunate and P's fortunate. And, that is a good thing. I feel like I've done what I can to make the world a little bit of a better place by being able to provide for P what I didn't have as a child.
Cheers!
mouse
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