Cognitive Development and Family Income

Dear Friends and Family,

I read an article this morning about how income is becoming a bigger predictor of childhood success. I'm not sure how I feel about that. We spend a lot of time with P. We're very proud of her. I like to think her success is because we love her not because we have well paying jobs.

But, I'm not blind to the fact that she has great care while we work. Nor am I blind to the fact that we take her to museums and shows and trips and other things she wouldn't normally have access to.

Perhaps what I'm afraid of is perverse bias. If I leave my job, reducing our family's income, does P have less of a chance of succeeding? I would have thought the reverse would be true. But, what if I'm wrong?


Cheers?
mouse

04.29.13: Monday and Optimistic

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Monday and I'm excited about the week ahead of us. We have a couple of loose ends to tie up for P's birthday party. But, the bulk of the heavy lifting is behind us. Sadly, this is because the window for shipping stuff from on-line retailers is closing.

On deck for the week is getting a mattress for the bed downstairs and watering the flowers we planted by our door. Oh, and another blood draw for me. I'm hoping we can reduce my thyroid dosages.

This weekend? Saturday, we got the housecleaning done. Then, we ordered P's cake, returned the rental car and went to get mail. We planted flowers by the front door. Sunday, we went to church and the park. We played at home and went for a bike ride. We battled over many little things with P.

And, now, it's Monday. Fingers crossed for the week ahead.


Cheers!
mouse

Morning Shopping Carts

Dear Friends and Family,

I spent way too much time this morning looking at gift ideas for P and decoration ideas for P's party. Must fly!


Cheers!
mouse

Chipping Away, Chip, Chip, Chip

Dear Friends and Family,

Another day another item to cross off the list. I'm dropping off ice cream today. And, I sent Mr. mouse a nasty gram to get his rear in gear. P's birthday is coming up and I feel like the party has been mine to do except where he's stepped in to veto my work.

Perhaps I need to recognize that he might not be as good with a blank sheet of paper. Well, my email should get him started.

Next on my list, pick up three gift cards for Teacher Appreciation Week while at work today and two more at Target after work.

Chip. Chip. Chip. Chipping Away.


Cheers!
mouse

PS: One of my friends mentioned something nice about me yesterday. Apparently my name came up in a meeting where the people in the meeting said if mouse was leading this we wouldn't be having these problems. That was nice.

Independent P

Dear Friends and Family,

I remember those moments fondly. When P was a baby and she saw me at pick up, her entire face would light up and she'd start crawling as quickly as she could to me. When P was a toddler and she saw me at pick up, her entire face would light up and we'd run into each other's arms. Now when P sees me at pick up, she acknowledges me and keeps playing.

Yesterday, she asked to go out and write her name by herself. She asks me not to look at her. She hides under her blanket to play on the way home. She tells Mr. mouse to leave that she can go to sleep on her own. Somewhere in the last few months, our constant playmate decided she sometimes likes playing alone.

I guess P is growing up. She's also beginning to skip naps which leads to her falling asleep on the way home. And, she doesn't like stories at school anymore, just a hug and a kiss and a wave goodbye.

I'll miss those moments, but I guess it's a part of growing up and we should respect her wishes.


Cheers!
mouse

Chipping Away, Chip, Chip, Chip

Dear Friends and Family,

Faced with a perpetually long list of things to do, I'm trying to cross seven things off of the list this week. So, far, I checked Michael's for P's birthday candle holders. Mr. mouse was for checking a million and more places while waiting for inspiration. I decided to order them from Party Shop.

Today, I think I'll order vitamins. Oh, wait! I found one I already did, but I forgot to cross it out. I already ordered a gift for my nephew. Done. Yay!

Tomorrow I think I'll drop off ice cream for a friend. That'll cross another item off of the list.

Chip. Chip. Chipping Away.


Cheers!
mouse

04.22.13: Survived

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a quiet enough weekend that I feel geared up for the week.

Saturday, we went to see a play and then I went on my flight. Still some VERY minor ringing in the ear, but much better than last week. I'll continue to watch it.

Sunday, we went to church and then skipped the auto race. Instead we went to Chinatown for brunch. I slept while Mr. mouse played with P. Then, it was a quiet evening at home before we all turned in for the night.

P couldn't sleep last night so I slept next to her for a little bit before heading to my bed. It's nice having a real bed in there so I don't have to sleep on a blanket on the floor.


Cheers!
mouse

Bring on the Locusts

Dear Friends and Family,

And if the rain and the meds and the absentee spouse weren't enough of a deterrent from waking up and facing the day, yesterday morning, they closed all of the highways connecting the mouse pad and work. Yes. They closed the highways due to flooding.

So, after assessing our options, P and I took the train and the bus to school. We missed breakfast at school, so P ate breakfast at my desk before going to school.

We took the bus and train home.

Oh, and I have a new boss. He's not the type to invest in his people nor is he the type to actively manage them. Honestly, since I plan on leaving in the fall, that's not a bad thing.


Cheers!
mouse

Water Ingress, Again

Dear Friends and Family,

I couldn't make lunch yesterday because of a very stupid meeting. But, I made it up to P by taking her out to dinner. It's been cold and rainy all week. And, now, we have water coming in again. On the docket for today, rain, lightning, thunder, and potentially tornadoes. Yep. Tornadoes.

On a positive note, Mr. mouse should be done with whatever is taking up all of his time today. And, I will be done with my meds today. I will try going on a flight this weekend. Hopefully I can put my ear behind me.

Yesterday, we bought a gift for a birthday party. That crossed something off of the list. Today, I hopefully will get a book back from a friend. That will cross another thing off of the list.

I'm so tired of this cold rain. I'm so tired of my ear. Hopefully this will all come to a close soon.


Cheers!
mouse

Wednesday, Hump Day

Dear Friends and Family,

One more day at work done. The weather was finally nice. One more day of Mr. mouse's crazy two weeks done. One more day of medication done. Ringing still in my ear when I wake up in the morning and am alone downstairs.

I think I will try and cross something off of my to do list today. I think I will take P to the store tonight to buy a birthday present for one of her friends. Or I may write my friends we're visiting later this summer so we can begin planning. I can also order my nephew's present so we can pick it up on Friday.

Lots of options to make some progress so I don't feel like I'm just waiting.


Cheers!
mouse

The Waiting Place

Dear Friends and Family,

I feel like I'm just waiting. It's Tuesday and I want it to be the weekend. Mr. mouse has a busy week this week at the office. And, I'm on ear medicine until Thursday. I want to take a flight this weekend to see if I can clear my ear up. Work is a nuisance. See? I'm just waiting for the weekend.

I'm also waiting because once Mr. mouse's schedule frees up he can take care of closing out and moving some accounts we've been meaning to close out and move since 2009. Yep. Since 2009. I guess if it's been four years already what's a few more weeks.

Honestly, the other thing I've been waiting for is the weather. We've really had a miserable spring. And, it's been raining almost non-stop for the past two weeks. I'll be glad when it's warm and dry.

Waiting. I should find a way to enjoy the week.

In a sense I'm also in count down mode. I've got approximately 16 weeks of work left and I may miss it when I'm off. That's a scary thought. I've been working for almost two decades left and I've got about 16 weeks left until my life turns upside down and inside out.

Huh.


Cheers!
mouse

04.15.13: Pill-A-Rama

Dear Friends and Family,

I decided to take the steroids my doctor prescribed in the hope that it will help the ringing in my ear. If not, we're probably going to attempt a flight and if that doesn't work a visit with the ENT is probably in order.

So, for the week, before I eat anything I take 2 probiotic pills. Then, I take 8 pills with breakfast - 1 thyroid pill, 2 calcium tablets, 1 omega three, 4 multi-vitamins. Then, with lunch I have my steroids - 4 pills today. Then, with dinner I have 4 more pills - 1 thyroid pill, 2 calcium pills, 1 omega three. Total count for the day? 18 pills. Yep. I'm officially a mess. I'll be glad when my ear is better.

We made a lot of progress on the list. But, we're headed into major prep for P's party. There's cake, food, decorations and favors. Then, I need to order a birthday present for P. And, prep for my Mom's visit. She's coming out for the party.

But before I get ahead of myself. The weekend. What'd we do this weekend?

Saturday, P and I ran errands in the morning including a very unsuccessful trip to Party City. Then, we met up with friends for lunch. Mr. mouse drove out to get mail while P and I napped in the back seat. Then, we came home and headed out again to test drive some cars. On a whim, we decided to buy a car Mr. mouse had been eyeing for awhile. The dealer clearly wanted it off the lot and we were happy to oblige him. We had a late dinner and headed home.

Sunday, we went to church, played at the park, and headed to lunch to watch the F1 race. We came home and P napped while I worked on my idea and Mr. mouse went to get groceries. We ate dinner and then got ready for the week.

And, now it's Monday, and Mr. mouse has another busy week ahead of him. I got my bonus today and it doesn't look like I got a raise this year. I'm one step closer to leaving work.


Cheers!
mouse

Annoyed

Dear Friends and Family,

The ringing in my ear is back. Mr. mouse has been working late all week. Traffic has been miserable all week. It's still cold and raining.

It's six o'clock. We're scrambling on the invite. And, now he wants to discuss the gift strategy. I'm annoyed.

And, now that I've read him the riot act, he knows that I'm annoyed.

Oh, and we didn't need to buy ink. We could have waited until the weekend.

I need a glass of wine and it's only six o'clock in the morning.


Cheers!
mouse

Another Day, Another Boss

Dear Friends and Family,

In case I haven't been explicit enough, I'm in countdown mode. I'm conflicted, but steady in my course.

I plan on leaving work in the near future. I want to get my bonus. That's next Monday. I want to do my estate planning since that's covered at work, but would cost several thousand dollars outside of work. That's next on our list of to dos. And, I may or may not want to wait until September since that's when P is transitioning to her new school.

I've resolved either way to keep her in her current school until September, so if it's not painful, it makes sense to stay at work until then since I'm driving there anyway. The question is will it be painful? And, that answer seems to change daily. My oh-so-painful boss resigned yesterday. And, I'm not sure if they're going to back fill him or just spread us out among the existing managers. My pain factor will probably depend on my new boss.

My real source of conflict is leaving work. I haven't not had a corporate job since 1994. That's almost 20 years. There's a piece of me that's scared. Right now, I have my independence. I have my network. I have my own source of income. I have my identity.

Who do I become if I leave my work? And, what are my options? I hate the idea of P living her life in institutionalized care because her parents work. I guess I don't feel like I have many options. I guess I just need to make progress on my idea and then I won't be conflicted. What if I fail? That's what I'm afraid of. What if I can't do this?

I need to wrap my head around this. I've always tried hard. I've always made progress. This should be no different. Chin up, mouse.


Cheers!
mouse

Comfortably Middle Class

Dear Friends and Family,

We made so much progress on the budget yesterday!

I called the photographer for the school photos and negotiated a reduced price. Instead of paying $50 for a CD with the class photo on it, I'll be paying $25 for a CD and print of the class photo. That's progress. And, we found $154 on a credit card. We had paid one of our credit cards twice over the holidays. So, that's money we didn't have the day before. And, last but not least, we decided to stay at my sister's house for my nephew's birthday party.

And, that's what life is like on a budget. I wonder how many people are on one. It's not fun. It's not easy at first. And, it can introduce stress. Still, on the flip side, we're building up for retirement. We're saving for tuition for school next year. We're prioritizing our spending on what's important to us, and in the process simplifying our lives.

We've got $38 left for the week and that's not going to go far. We need toner for the printer and it can't wait until the weekend. Mr. mouse unequivocally wants to get invites out for P's birthday party because I am adamantly opposed to the concept of a "save the date" for a kid's birthday party. We need gas. And, either of those alone will chew up the $38 much less both of those.

I could theoretically get gas on the weekend, but it's more expensive. Or, I'm fine borrowing from the weekend budget since we found $355 through the above three changes. If I do the math, this is what it's like to be comfortably middle class and I'm okay with that.

It'll teach us discipline and teach P something about money. My parents didn't teach me much of anything about money and I had some painful lessons of my own before getting my plan in place. I think back a handful of adults who gave me some really good advice when I was in the early twenties. I think back to a pivotal class I took on retirement planning. I think back to books I read to get started.

I never thought twenty years later I would make the progress I did. And, I never thought twenty years later I'd be on this budget. Perhaps the two go hand in hand.


Cheers!
mouse

Living on a Budget

Dear Friends and Family,

The budget? I feel like we're turning into irrational people. It's hard. I'm eagerly anticipating my first credit card bill to see if we can adjust upwards.

This week, and it's only Tuesday mind you, we're off to a rocky start. There's the $40 for Mr. mouse's train pass and my toll road pass. There's the $28 for gas. And, I bought a present for my cousin's kid's first birthday and Mr. mouse bought a book.

Now, there's enough money left for the school photos and a spot of gas. Really? This is what it's like to live on a budget?

I'm trying to convince Mr. mouse to return a present we bought and didn't use. And to call a credit card and request a credit balance. He's debating biking to work. We decided to camp out at my sister's house instead of getting a hotel when we visit next month.

Yes, this is what it's like to live on a budget. It's worth it.


Cheers!
mouse

04.08.13: Lovely Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a play date on Saturday with one of P's friends from school. P and her friend had a ball drawing with chalk in the courtyard. We had dinner out with a friend and they came over for ice cream afterwards. I went to church on Sunday and then went to try and get my ears to pop.

The highlight of my weekend? We went to the zoo on Sunday afternoon. We went to see Australia first which included emus and kangaroos and wombats and snakes. Then, we went to see the zebras and giraffes. And, that's when P asked if we could go see the gorillas.

We made our way through the South American monkeys, Asian monkeys, and African monkeys before getting to the gorillas. P was enthralled. We stood there talking to the gorilla. P volunteered, Gorilla, I have two hands and two feet, just like you. Gorilla, I have a nose too. Gorilla, I have an elbow too. When I asked her if she was a gorilla she said no, my head is bigger.

Just when my arms were beginning to get tired, she said, Gorilla, I need to go eat lunch now so I'll see you next time. It was so endearing.

We came home. We went to see the space for P's birthday party. I'm very excited about it. P's excited about it. Mr. mouse is excited about it. It should be good.


Cheers!
mouse

Another Day, Another Doctor's Appointment

Dear Friends and Family,

I wrote my doctor yesterday to tell her my ear was still not quite normal. It's better than it was a week ago, but still not quite normal. She wants me to come in again today so she can look at it again.

Fortunately, the appointment is at 8:40 and Mr. mouse agreed to drive P around the block once or twice while I'm at the doctor's office so I don't pay another $10 to park my car at the parking lot.

We still have $40 left for the weekday budget. I'm hopeful that I don't get prescribed any new medication. Then, I can still fill up the tank and even have some money left over as a credit towards the weekend.

When I first started this budget, I was adamant about not letting money flow from one budget to the next. Now, I'm okay with the idea of if I have $10 left at the end of Friday, I'll zero out the weekday budget and add $10 to the weekend budget.

I'm remembering moderation.


Cheers!
mouse

Progress, Finally

Dear Friends and Family,

It's Thursday, and we still have $61 left in our weekly budget. I'm almost giddy.

We haven't had any visits to the doctor, no jury duty, no haircuts, no mid-week social commitments, no groupons, no mix ups with the train. It's just been a normal week. Dinner out last night felt like a treat. You should have seen P's face when I told her we were going out to dinner. She was so happy. If we can keep it to one night out as a family and one night out with just P and me to avoid the traffic we can make it through the week in good shape, as long as no odd things pop up.

I'll be so proud of us if we make it through the week okay.

You might ask why this is so important to me. Clearly this budget doesn't have to be this strict. It's me trying to understand what the world will look like if we go down to one income and still need to pay tuition for P's school. I'm not sure if it needs to be this strict. I'm not sure if it needs to be stricter. This is just me beginning to assess what the world will look like. I'll fine tune once we've done this for a couple of months. If the checking account starts growing, I'll loosen the reins a bit. If it doesn't, I'll tighten a bit more. I figure it's a learning process.

My actual income? That doesn't figure into the equation much at all. Almost all of my income goes into a retirement account we have set up so it doesn't really pay for any of the day to day expenses. That's a lesson we learned from the craziness of 2001. We learned to live on one income since work seemed so unstable at the time.

Here's to $61!


Cheers!
mouse

mouse, Thank You Very Much

Dear Friends and Family,

Sometimes you agree to disagree. And, sometimes you don't. Having kids only complicates this because as adults you can agree to disagree, but as parents you need to pick one option for your kids.

And what is it Mr. mouse and I so vehemently on? How P should address grownups, teachers, our friends, parents of her friends. Her current teachers add a generic title in front of their name. It's unclear if it's Ms. or Miss. even if they are mostly married. And that is what P calls them. I don't think that's the issue. Teachers will introduce themselves by whatever they prefer to be called. Simple enough.

Now, on to parents of her friends and our friends. I'm fine with adjusting. For example, B.H. who is Q's mom, has Q call me by my first name. So, I have P call her by her first name, B. Mr. mouse thinks P should call her Mrs. H. We just disagree.

First off, who does this anymore? Second off, I just plain old HATE Miss and Mrs. I don't think P needs to define herself by her marital status. What's wrong with Ms. Has it gone out of fashion? It may have, since almost no one uses last names anymore to address each other.

On top of that, it's just too complicated. There are too many women who opt for different last names than their kids. And, how is P to know this? Did she keep her last name? Did she hyphenate? Why assume? Because we all know what happens when you assume.

Anyway, we'll see where this leads.


Cheers!
mouse, not Mrs. mouse, not Ms. mouse, just mouse

PS: P had a most interesting conclusion last night. She said our friend must know the Easter bunny because the Easter bunny gave us some macarons from our friend. Then, she concluded our friend must have told the Easter bunny that P liked the book Hatch because she saw P reading it at school. And, that's why the Easter bunny knew to get it for her. Too cute.

Changing Behavior

Dear Friends and Family,

Traffic was bad yesterday. Before our budget, Mr. mouse would have taken the train out to meet us and we would have gone out to dinner without thinking about it. Now, with the strict budget restrictions on us, we met on the way home (no incremental cost to getting off at a different station) and drove home together.

On the way home, we stopped to pick up some probiotics for me. Before our budget, we would have all gone into Whole Foods together and inevitably ended up eating dinner there. Instead, Mr. mouse stayed in the car with P and I went in by myself. The probiotics still cost $24, but we didn't spend any other money on top of that.

I suppose this budget is changing behavior, if the above is to be believed. We also delayed housecleaning for a week because I wanted to catch up on the weekend budget. Contrary to my hopes, we didn't catch up some this past weekend. In fact, we fell further behind because last week was such a disaster. I'm hoping my ear gets better. I really don't want to spend all the money we "saved" last night on parking, a co-pay, and more medicine.

I know at some point this will not feel as restrictive as it does now. I look forward to the weekend when we have funds left over. It'd be nice to buy some new clothes or get a manicure or do any number of things that felt like a part of normal life but for the moment feel like unobtainable luxuries. We'll get there, just not this weekend.


Cheers!
mouse

04.01.13: Delightful Easter Weekend

Dear Friends and Family,

We had a delightful weekend.

Saturday, we went to the park for the Easter egg hunt. Unfortunately, by the time we got there, all of the eggs were gone. We still had fun blowing bubbles and enjoying the warm weather. We ran into a neighbor and caught up about schools and life in the city. P loaned her daughter one of our bubble blowers and our friend returned the sharing by having her daughter offer P one of her three Easter eggs from the hunt.

We headed home after that and P's friend Q came over for a play date. We let the kids play while we ordered lunch. And, then, after lunch we headed to the park. Wow. P's gotten fast on her bike. I need to jog to keep up. This made Q a little sad because he had to constantly ask P to wait for him. At the park, we played on the jungle gym and then we played a round of duck-duck-goose and a round of color tag. P loves running. Fortunately, she didn't get tagged. Q was too busy tagging the adults.

Back at home, we played a couple more games. Then, the kids headed upstairs with Mr. mouse for a rousing game of hide and seek while we listened to the laughter from the first floor.

It was fun to see P sharing her toys and funny to hear the conversations they got into.

Sunday, we had to coordinate a complex Easter egg hunt of our own. Mr. mouse left the house with the eggs and sat on our front porch guarding the eggs. I woke P and got her dressed and brushed her teeth. Then, we called Mr. mouse to see what was taking him so long (his queue that we were ready) and he promptly "returned" home. We went outside and you should have heard P squeal. While she was finding the eggs, I came back in and put out her basket. She didn't notice I was gone.

When she discovered her basket, she was giddy. She took it apart and put all the candy away. Then, she read the book the Easter bunny left her before getting ready for church.

I ended up in overflow seating for mass, but I enjoyed it more than regular mass. Sometimes I like the spoken response vs. the sung response. It was a nice change.

Back at home, we ate lunch and then colored Easter eggs.

It was a fabulous weekend. We didn't make progress on the budget. But, we did enjoy ourselves. I decided to skip housecleaning this upcoming weekend to give us a prayer of catching up on our budget.


Cheers!
mouse