Dear Friends and Family,
Yesterday, I bit off more than I could chew.
We drove out to pick up my mother from the airport. That involved bundling Pioneer into the car for her first extended road trip, through rush hour traffic, to the airport and then through it again to get home. She made it in one piece, but it tired both Pioneer and me out and more importantly it threw off the beginnings of our semi-established sleep and feeding routine. Mistake #1: prioritize Pioneer's needs first, not second.
Then, because my Mom was with us, I tried to do feedings on my own so that Mr. mouse could keep her company while I was with Pioneer. Mistake #2: don't attempt feeding on your own if it's been a group effort for the prior two days. It's not necessarily disastrous, but it can be, and in any event, small perturbations to the system eventually add up.
I pulled one smart maneuver and skipped lunch. I stole Pioneer from my Mom's arms and insisted that the both of us needed a nap. I think it did us a world of good to get some rest in because later that afternoon we received a message from our mail box. Keep in mind, Pioneer is three days old and we're now messing with her feeding routine and sleep routine by letting her stay up and play.
Now, we're at the point in the movie when the audience can see the storm building, but the characters are making all the wrong decisions that keep them on the disastrous path to the movie's climax. We decided it was a good idea to attempt the grand crossing again, through rush hour traffic again, to pick up the packages and to attempt to avoid traffic on the way back by eating dinner by the mailbox.
We loaded a marginally fed, slightly tired baby and her incrementally off-kilter mom into the car and hit the road to fun and games. It was too hot in the car. It was too cold in the car. Frankly, the main problem was you had an exhausted mom and dad and baby in rush hour traffic in the car. Pioneer started crying inconsolably. Mr. mouse changed her in the car by the restaurant. We headed in. Pioneer started crying again. I took her out to the car to feed her. Needless to say, it was a poor feed at best.
We finished dinner and decided to head to Babies R Us to pick up some clothes that fit. We also knew they have a mother's room that Pioneer and I can use to try and get another feed in before heading home. Now we were shopping for Pioneer with a third party who wanted to pick up presents for her first grandchild - like a super cute pink sundress. Can you hear the music building in the background? The movie characters know they're in over their heads but wrongly conclude there's no other course of action.
I took Pioneer to the mother's room. It stinks of over-stuffed, under-cleaned Diaper Genie. I've got Pioneer in the car seat/stroller when Mr. mouse has "always" (all of two car trips we've taken so far) gotten her into and out of the car seat. I was in new feeding environment #3 of the day, people. Pioneer was looking jaundiced in the light and I was feeling IMMENSE pressure to get in a good feed. Pioneer was as off-kilter as I was at this point and the probability of a good feed was about as high as us winning Mega Millions and Power Ball simultaneously. Needless to say, it was a rotten feed.
I threw everything minus the baby into the stroller, grabbed the diaper bag, and carried Pioneer out into the glider section. I called Mr. mouse and he retrieved us. His first instinct was to try to problem solve - you should have called, we could have done this in the car, etc. And, I was like, "WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?!?!" We averted meltdown by a hair when he realized what I really needed was to get home and be comforted, not an answer to how to avoid this situation in the future.
We loaded the car thinking we were a quick ride home at this hour. We turned on the traffic report and the highway's down to one lane due to road construction. Uh huh. Having no other options, we hit the roads to try and get home. Pioneer was fussy. I was spent. Mr. mouse wasn't complaining, but I know he was running on fumes. We got home and I pulled Pioneer out of her car seat and climbed onto the couch and the tears started trickling. I wasn't balling, but I would have been if my Mom wasn't there.
My mom headed to bed sensing I just needed some space and time to come to grips. And, Mr. mouse and I unwound on the couch. He got me an ice cold drink and then we shared some mango sorbet we had brought home from the hospital. Then, we looked at some photos of Pioneer from the past week. And, we headed up to her room for the night.
We had a successful feed and then one of marvelous moments when she's awake and alert and oh so precious. Then, she went down for a couple of hours and so do we. The night was a constant progression of diapers and feedings and crying baby, but we made it through the night. The feedings were a lot more successful. The diapers were a cause of celebration. And, it just felt right struggling through it all together as a family.
And, now to story wrap up. The part that makes it a chick flick instead of a drama. I realized (and told Mr. mouse) that he's the one person I'm okay being dependent on. I don't like being dependent on people. I pride myself on my independence. That doesn't mean I don't have a support network or I can't accept help from others. It just means I accept help from others because I want to, not because I need to. There's a certain amount of vulnerability in allowing yourself to be dependent upon someone else. The other thing I realized (and told Mr. mouse) is that he's the one person I'm okay sharing everything with. And, that, I suppose, is why he is my soul mate.
Pioneer's progress? She's three days old now. She's still tiny - we hope to get her back to her birth weight by next weekend. She's unfurling a little in that she's beginning to stretch her arms and legs regularly. And, she's continuing to develop and mature - she used to have a tremor in her chin and she used to body clench, both normal in newborns due to their underdeveloped neurological systems, and both seem to have passed.
We hope to take her out today for some photos. If they turn out, great. If not, then, at least we can say we tried. Each moment with her is so precious, we want to capture them all.
Cheers!
mouse
Yesterday, I bit off more than I could chew.
We drove out to pick up my mother from the airport. That involved bundling Pioneer into the car for her first extended road trip, through rush hour traffic, to the airport and then through it again to get home. She made it in one piece, but it tired both Pioneer and me out and more importantly it threw off the beginnings of our semi-established sleep and feeding routine. Mistake #1: prioritize Pioneer's needs first, not second.
Then, because my Mom was with us, I tried to do feedings on my own so that Mr. mouse could keep her company while I was with Pioneer. Mistake #2: don't attempt feeding on your own if it's been a group effort for the prior two days. It's not necessarily disastrous, but it can be, and in any event, small perturbations to the system eventually add up.
I pulled one smart maneuver and skipped lunch. I stole Pioneer from my Mom's arms and insisted that the both of us needed a nap. I think it did us a world of good to get some rest in because later that afternoon we received a message from our mail box. Keep in mind, Pioneer is three days old and we're now messing with her feeding routine and sleep routine by letting her stay up and play.
Now, we're at the point in the movie when the audience can see the storm building, but the characters are making all the wrong decisions that keep them on the disastrous path to the movie's climax. We decided it was a good idea to attempt the grand crossing again, through rush hour traffic again, to pick up the packages and to attempt to avoid traffic on the way back by eating dinner by the mailbox.
We loaded a marginally fed, slightly tired baby and her incrementally off-kilter mom into the car and hit the road to fun and games. It was too hot in the car. It was too cold in the car. Frankly, the main problem was you had an exhausted mom and dad and baby in rush hour traffic in the car. Pioneer started crying inconsolably. Mr. mouse changed her in the car by the restaurant. We headed in. Pioneer started crying again. I took her out to the car to feed her. Needless to say, it was a poor feed at best.
We finished dinner and decided to head to Babies R Us to pick up some clothes that fit. We also knew they have a mother's room that Pioneer and I can use to try and get another feed in before heading home. Now we were shopping for Pioneer with a third party who wanted to pick up presents for her first grandchild - like a super cute pink sundress. Can you hear the music building in the background? The movie characters know they're in over their heads but wrongly conclude there's no other course of action.
I took Pioneer to the mother's room. It stinks of over-stuffed, under-cleaned Diaper Genie. I've got Pioneer in the car seat/stroller when Mr. mouse has "always" (all of two car trips we've taken so far) gotten her into and out of the car seat. I was in new feeding environment #3 of the day, people. Pioneer was looking jaundiced in the light and I was feeling IMMENSE pressure to get in a good feed. Pioneer was as off-kilter as I was at this point and the probability of a good feed was about as high as us winning Mega Millions and Power Ball simultaneously. Needless to say, it was a rotten feed.
I threw everything minus the baby into the stroller, grabbed the diaper bag, and carried Pioneer out into the glider section. I called Mr. mouse and he retrieved us. His first instinct was to try to problem solve - you should have called, we could have done this in the car, etc. And, I was like, "WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?!?!" We averted meltdown by a hair when he realized what I really needed was to get home and be comforted, not an answer to how to avoid this situation in the future.
We loaded the car thinking we were a quick ride home at this hour. We turned on the traffic report and the highway's down to one lane due to road construction. Uh huh. Having no other options, we hit the roads to try and get home. Pioneer was fussy. I was spent. Mr. mouse wasn't complaining, but I know he was running on fumes. We got home and I pulled Pioneer out of her car seat and climbed onto the couch and the tears started trickling. I wasn't balling, but I would have been if my Mom wasn't there.
My mom headed to bed sensing I just needed some space and time to come to grips. And, Mr. mouse and I unwound on the couch. He got me an ice cold drink and then we shared some mango sorbet we had brought home from the hospital. Then, we looked at some photos of Pioneer from the past week. And, we headed up to her room for the night.
We had a successful feed and then one of marvelous moments when she's awake and alert and oh so precious. Then, she went down for a couple of hours and so do we. The night was a constant progression of diapers and feedings and crying baby, but we made it through the night. The feedings were a lot more successful. The diapers were a cause of celebration. And, it just felt right struggling through it all together as a family.
And, now to story wrap up. The part that makes it a chick flick instead of a drama. I realized (and told Mr. mouse) that he's the one person I'm okay being dependent on. I don't like being dependent on people. I pride myself on my independence. That doesn't mean I don't have a support network or I can't accept help from others. It just means I accept help from others because I want to, not because I need to. There's a certain amount of vulnerability in allowing yourself to be dependent upon someone else. The other thing I realized (and told Mr. mouse) is that he's the one person I'm okay sharing everything with. And, that, I suppose, is why he is my soul mate.
Pioneer's progress? She's three days old now. She's still tiny - we hope to get her back to her birth weight by next weekend. She's unfurling a little in that she's beginning to stretch her arms and legs regularly. And, she's continuing to develop and mature - she used to have a tremor in her chin and she used to body clench, both normal in newborns due to their underdeveloped neurological systems, and both seem to have passed.
We hope to take her out today for some photos. If they turn out, great. If not, then, at least we can say we tried. Each moment with her is so precious, we want to capture them all.
Cheers!
mouse
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