Dear Small,
Yesterday morning, on the train, on the way to work, I realized what the monumental responsibility we've undertaken in the decision to become your parents. There are the basics like a roof over your head, warm clothes on your back and food on the table. Then, there are things like how to ride a bike (which your father will teach you) and how to swim (which I will teach you). But, more importantly, there are values and morals and other things that are harder and more individual to the individuals and the family.
I thought about what would be the most important thing. If there was only one lesson that I could convey, what would it be? I think, for me, it's the value of recognizing and respecting people's differences. Each of us is unique. There are physical differences like our gender, our race, our ethnicity, and our age. And, there are non-physical differences like our religion, our sexual orientation, our experiences, and our beliefs. And, it's important to not pass judgment on anyone or make decisions that someone is better or worse than someone else. There's a line in a speech by Martin Luther King that summarizes it oh so well -
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
I have that dream for you, Small. And, I want you live that reality. But, more important, you need to be that reality for others. Judge others not by easy to categorize physical differences, but by harder to see individual differences. Recognize and respect those individual differences. Look beyond to see the humanity in everyone.
At the same time, it's okay to recognize and appreciate the community and kindred spirit associated with finding a circle of people with like values. It's okay to like some people more than others. Personalities will differ and you won't be friends with everyone. That's completely normal. But, never, for one instant, pass judgment on someone else for being different from you.
Now, I realize there's no chronology to this letter. We're not even sure, yet, of when you'll be joining us. And, there'll be many discussions we have about much simpler topics before we have this discussion. That's okay. It was important enough that I wanted to write about it first.
Love,
your mom
Yesterday morning, on the train, on the way to work, I realized what the monumental responsibility we've undertaken in the decision to become your parents. There are the basics like a roof over your head, warm clothes on your back and food on the table. Then, there are things like how to ride a bike (which your father will teach you) and how to swim (which I will teach you). But, more importantly, there are values and morals and other things that are harder and more individual to the individuals and the family.
I thought about what would be the most important thing. If there was only one lesson that I could convey, what would it be? I think, for me, it's the value of recognizing and respecting people's differences. Each of us is unique. There are physical differences like our gender, our race, our ethnicity, and our age. And, there are non-physical differences like our religion, our sexual orientation, our experiences, and our beliefs. And, it's important to not pass judgment on anyone or make decisions that someone is better or worse than someone else. There's a line in a speech by Martin Luther King that summarizes it oh so well -
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
I have that dream for you, Small. And, I want you live that reality. But, more important, you need to be that reality for others. Judge others not by easy to categorize physical differences, but by harder to see individual differences. Recognize and respect those individual differences. Look beyond to see the humanity in everyone.
At the same time, it's okay to recognize and appreciate the community and kindred spirit associated with finding a circle of people with like values. It's okay to like some people more than others. Personalities will differ and you won't be friends with everyone. That's completely normal. But, never, for one instant, pass judgment on someone else for being different from you.
Now, I realize there's no chronology to this letter. We're not even sure, yet, of when you'll be joining us. And, there'll be many discussions we have about much simpler topics before we have this discussion. That's okay. It was important enough that I wanted to write about it first.
Love,
your mom
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1 comment:
and the concept of being "your mom" must be a new reality for mouse to document in writing...I wonder how scary and exciting *that* felt! xoxoxo
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